Title: Whispers
Summary: "A tiny part of her is relieved. The part that has spent six years waiting for this day to happen." 1/1
Category: Angst
Spoilers: Vague mentions of S1-S4. If you don't know what happened in the Season 5 premiere, hit the "back" button now.
Rating: PG
Distribution: CM, SD-1, Alias belongs to J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot.
A/N: I don't really have anyone to blame for this one. In a nutshell, it's a post-S4 fic that was written a few weeks ago knowing what was going to happen at the end of the premiere. Other than that "minor" detail, it has nothing to do with S5.
I do blame Denise for making me post though. :P
Whispers
She is relieved that he is dead.
She's mostly distraught, shocked, shattered.
But a tiny part of her is relieved. The part that has spent six years waiting for this day to happen.
Someday, you'll kill him too.
She tries to stay positive, tries her hardest to think the best of others. But there are times when the masochist in her surfaces, when the small, still voice deep inside her whispers.
He'll leave you just like the others did.
She's spent her whole life being left behind—her mother, her father, her boyfriend, her fiancée, her best friend. Struggling to put the pieces back together, trying in desperation to move on.
Waiting for the next attack on her soul.
Yet when she was the one who left—"You've been missing for almost two years"—there was no struggle. There were promotions, parents reuniting . . . a wedding.
And she was crushed again.
The last year has been a year of healing, a year of reunions. Bosses, adversaries, sisters, mothers, lovers. It was stressful and dangerous and brought her to death's door more times than she liked—but in the end, she won. Order returned to her universe, wrongs were righted, and she could feel the delightful heaviness on her left hand.
The whispers subsided. They got quiet—too quiet—and didn't warn her of what was to come, of the loss that was imminent.
They taunt her now. They goad and berate and torment. They remind her that happiness is fleeting, that joy is an all too rare emotion for her. They pull her back down into the depths of hell.
She is relieved that he is dead.
She just wonders who will be next.
fin