"Phone, phone phone phone, I need the phone!"
Dairine rushed through the door through the back door. She couldn't stop to talk to the front door and cajole it to let her in. She also couldn't talk to the downstairs phone. Perhaps it hadn't gotten in touch with the other house phone located upstairs yet.
She rushed up the stairs, careening past her and Nita's rooms, to the table at the end of the hallway. No! The phone wasn't there. Where could it have gone?
"Any way you could let me know where you are?" she asked, directing her voice only to the phone belonging to the hall set.
"Here! Here! Here! In the place with the funny box that I'm friends with! And the really big chair!"
The message was coming from her Dad's study. She nearly ran to it, called out "Daddy?" to make sure he wasn't there, and then quickly ran in, grabbed the phone, and ran out. Victory! The phone was hers.
She dialed the Rodriquez's number.
"Pick up, pick up pick up pick up…" she muttered as the phone rang and rang.
"First off, hello, to all my admiring fans!" Carmela's voice came across for the answering machine. Dairine groaned. She would leave a message, then.
"Carmela!" she heard Kit say on the recording.
"Aww, brother dearest, what's the problem?" Carmela-on-the-recording said. Then, back to her audience, "I'm sorry, ladies and germs! Or gentlemen, if you prefer. Whatever! As I was saying, you have had the misfortune to call when our darling family is not in residence. Please, gracious sir or madam, leave a message! We shall try to find time in our busy schedule to contact you! And now, good day to you all!" The message beeped.
"Hi, 'Mela," said Dairine, only slightly exasperated. "Nice message. Anyway, if you could call me as soon as you get this, that would be very good. Thanks!"
She hung up the phone, picked up a pillow, and screamed into it. Ugh! Why should Carmela not be home today of all days?
Suddenly the phone rang. Dairine jumped up from her half-sitting-half-falling-off position on the couch. After kneading her knuckle into her head for the better part of an hour, she had dozed off.
"Hello?" she asked frantically as soon as she picked up the phone. "Hello, hello?"
The phone rang again. What! Oh, no. She had forgotten to hit the "talk" button.
Smart, Dairine, she thought.
Dairine pressed the button and said, "Hello?" into the phone.
"Dairine, hi!" It was Carmela.
"'Mela! Oh, you got my message! Guess what!"
"You've got a plan, don't you? Ah, my wonderful wicked comrade!"
"Yes, I do, and it is going to be so good! They are going to hate us while we're doing it. But oh well! They'll thank us when we're done."
"They always do, don't they? Now, lemme know what it is!" Dairine could almost see Carmela curling up on a bean bag chair in her room, an evil grin on her face.
"Okay. Well, I could, take Ponch on quite a few walks. Only to help Kit, of course."
"Of course!"
"This of course leaves Kit and Nita alone. Perhaps, one night, Nita's pup tent would mysteriously close up – of course, if you prefer Kit's to close up, that is entirely doable. And unfortunately, my tent shall be just far too filled up to contain one other person. And of course we could get Ponch in on this somehow. Think he'd help us?"
"Of course! And I think Kit's tent would be ideal. Nita could really say, well, we're sisters, so we'll chuck some stuff in Kit's tent, and I'll sleep in your tent. However, if Kit is left temporarily homeless, he can't very well sleep in your tent. And if he suggests that you move into Nita's for the night, you can say that no, you won't. He'll have no choice but to stay in Nita's tent!" Carmela cackled. She was enjoying this.
So was Dairine. "Good thinking," she said. "I thought Kit might be better. But, anyway, other than that…
"Well, if I say to Nita something like, 'so, you like anybody? Since you so obviously don't like Kit?' she would definitely get a bit rattled. Maybe, if we're truly lucky, she would say, but I do like Kit! If we're lucky. But even if we're unlucky, she's bound to say something like, 'I like one person…' so, that would be good. Bring up more conversation on the topic. Of course, I'm prepared with several books to hit her with should she try to run away." Carmela snickered.
"And, maybe, if you said something to Kit to send him running to talk to someone…and Ponch and I are conveniently on one of our walks…"
"Oh, yeah, I could so do that! Let me have a few days so I can think of something sufficient, though."
"Will do. So…hmm. That's as far as I've got right now. But we can of course think of things on the spot."
"Yes, definitely. I will keep in touch. Thank God you're the one with Spot!"
"I know! Oh, wow, this is going to be so fun! I know we are wizards and have a responsibility and all of that…but this is going to be so good!" Dairine tried and failed to conceal a grin at the thought of torturing dear sister.
"Yes, omigosh! I can't wait for you guys to leave. I mean, I'm concerned for you, and all that good stuff, but we are so gonna torture Nita and Kit!"
Evil laughter ensued.