Hey, look, I finally updated! What do you know. Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 2- Barret: Loner, Leader, Best Friend Forever

"What will it be?"

"Scotch on the rocks, please." Vincent stared at the smooth finish on the bar. It's not as though he didn't like these people. They were the closest things he had to friends in a long while. But, he felt himself agreeing with Red. This wasn't really something that needed to be done with such enthusiasm every year.

"Here you go hun."

"Uh…"

"Something wrong?" In fact, there was something wrong. Vincent stared at the small granite pebbles in his drink.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that what you wanted? I didn't know what kind of rocks you wanted."

Another waitress came by, sweeping the younger one away. "Uh, will you go wipe off table 3, please? Thank you." She turned. "Sorry, Vincent, she's new here."

"Hi, Dolores."

"I'll get what you want." She prepared his drink. "How come every year, the first thing to do is come to this ratty old place?"

"Because you serve the best drinks in Costa del Sol." He took a swig of the scotch as the waitress handed it to him.

"You know, Vincent, you can't just spend your annual vacation in a bar every time. You should go try new things. We just got a karaoke machine." She pointed to a stage in the corner. "Karaoke? That's not really my thing…"

"Oh, come on. Try it out, just once."

"Hmm…"

Shera, Cid, Cait Sith, Red XIII, Marlene, and Cloud were at the beach. "Come on, just come in already!"

Cait Sith sat stubbornly on the beach. "No! I refuse to go into the water."

Cid rolled his eyes. "Fine…" Deciding he had had enough swimming for the time being, he treaded over to the beach, wading to dry land. "I think I'm gonna go get a bite to- shit!" Cid had stepped on a piece of litter on the shoreline, cutting his big toe. Cloud sat upright immediately. "Cid! Don't move! I'll be right there!"

"Oh, it's okay, it's just a little-"

"Hey, get out of the way, there's an injured man over here!" Cloud dashed over to Cid, holding the first aid kit and the instruction manual. "Okay, what do we do here… bruises, stomach problems, lacerations… where's cuts! WHERE'S CUTS! OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DO NOW!"

"Lacerations are cuts, Cloud."

"Oh… whatever, here, I spring-loaded the first aid kit for easy access!" Everyone ducked instinctively as Cloud reached for the latch. As he pulled it, random bottles and syringes launched into the area around them. "Oops, sorry everyone!"

"Ooh! Ooh! This one!" Tifa worked a rubber wristband onto Barret's wrist. "Sky blue is definitely your color."

"How about this one?" Yuffie showed one. "Fuchsia is a perfect match!"

"Look, I just want to go swimming, I-"

"But Barret! We're best friends forever! How are you gonna show everyone that we're BFFs?"

"Do we really need bracelets for that?"

"Yes." The three approached the counter. The shopkeeper looked at Yuffie, turned around to a picture of Yuffie on the wall that clearly read 'KILL THIS PERSON', and then looked back. He squinted.

"Calm down, I'm not gonna steal anything! My gosh…"

As Tifa paid for the bracelets, Yuffie still complained. "You know, I wish people would trust me sometimes. It's not as if I double-cross every store I see. I am an honest citizen! Here, try this one." She handed Barret an emerald green bracelet.

"Where did you get this?"

"…I may have borrowed it from the store, I…"

As they walked by the beach, they noticed the rest of the group; twitching on the ground and injected with syringes in various places. "Looks like things are going normal for them. Where's Vincent?"

Yuffie waved. "He hangs out at some bar on the edge of town… let's go say hi." Walking along the road, they saw an older red-haired woman getting a hot dog. "Hey look! It's Doris!" said Barret, who watched Coach regularly.

"No, it's Mona Robinson!" interjected Tifa, who always tuned in to Who's the Boss.

"No, it's just that loser Katherine Hammond," said Yuffie, correcting them both.

She approached them with a smile. "Yes, I am a bit of all those things."

"But mostly the last one."

"Yeah…"

"So Ms. Hammond, what brings you to Costa del Sol?"

"Well, I'm kind of in hiding. Apparently Who's the Boss would've made ten million more dollars if Mona was played by Halle Barre."

"Oh."

"I see."

"…what the hell is a dollar?"

"You wouldn't understand." Katherine walked away. They saw her approach a young man on the beach. "Hey there hot stuff, how would you like to take a ride on the Mona Express?" In response, the man's eyes rolled back into his head and began emitting steam. That kind of thought about Katherine Hammond literally burned his eyes out of their sockets. The three quickly trotted away. When they had found the bar and entered, they were confronted by the strangest sight they had ever seen.

Vincent was singing. And he was singing Abba. "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando! They were shining there for you and me, for liberty OH SHIT." Vincent dropped the mic as he stared at his friends gawking at him. "This was nothing! You didn't see anything!" He stomped past them.

"Or what? You gonna… suck our blood?" Barret mocked.

"Grr… I'm not that kind of vampire you idiot."

"Heh, right…"

Yuffie stomped on Barret's foot. "Will you leave him alone?"

"So he was faking the silence thing the whole time…"

"No he wasn't… was he? Because that's why I fell for him," Tifa said.

"You fell for Vincent?"

"Yeah, we all have," Yuffie answered. "Us, Aeris, Elena from the Turks… Shera."

"Shera?"

"Marlene."

"MARLENE!"

"It's just a phase, though. All that Lucrecia business is kind of a turn-off."

"MARLENE!"

"I'm bored. I'm going back to the house. Bye guys."

"See you Yuffie."

"MARLENE!"

Back at the summer house, Yuffie noticed Cloud sitting on the bed. "Ow… ow… ow…"

"What are you doing?"

Cloud shrugged, although it was quite here that he was hovering his hand over a lighter. "Ow… ow… oh man, that hurts… ow."

-10 minutes later-

Everyone stood hopelessly in front of the summer house. "Cloud, explain to me this once more… HOW THE HELL DID YOU BURN DOWN THE SUMMER HOUSE!"

"I told you for the last time the leprechaun tells me to burn things!"

"Don't listen to the leprechaun then!"

Cid scratched the back of his head. "Well, I guess we'll have to cut this vacation short."

Elena spoke up. "We don't have to end the vacation, we still have the airship, right? The sky is our limit."

"Well, I guess you're right. In either case we need 24 hour supervision with this SPIKY HAIRED IDIOT to make sure he doesn't burn my airship down. Well… let's go, guys."

Tifa and Cloud sat in the chocobo stable, staring at the wall. Cid burst in. "This hay looks awfully flammable…"

"Cid, will you stop it?"

"I'm sorry, geez, it's not like anything I touch will catch on fire." He rubbed his hand over the hay to smooth it down so he could lay on it. It combusted.

"GAH!" Cid whipped out a fire extinguisher and doused Cloud and the hay in the fluid. "TIFA MAKE SURE HE DOES NOT BURN ANYTHING DOWN!" He left in a bustle.

"Okay… so the hay was a little dry. Cloud… I've been thinking."

"So have I."

"Really? Like what?"

"Like what does blue smell like?"

"Um, not that kind of thinking. I mean, I've been sort of thinking about what we should do… about you."

"Me?"

"Cloud." She sat up, holding his hand. "How would you like to take special lessons?"

"About what?"

"They have classes for people just like you."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, you know… undertaught."

"What does that mean?"

"Mal educated."

"Moohodjucated?"

"Stupid, Cloud. You're stupid."

"Oh. Well… if you say so… I guess I should try. Come on, let's go, I don't like it in here." Cloud stood up, petting the chocobo as he left. Too bad they didn't notice the poor creature combusting as they left.

Well that's chapter 2. Sorry I took so long to update. Since I got so many hits and reviews, I think I'll say thanks by a preview of the next chapter.

Chapter 3: Asbestos for the Rest of Us

"Okay everyone, look into the screen. This is Cloud's mind as of now."

Everyone peered into the TV screen. It was all white. "Professor… what's that thing?"

"That, Cait, is a glass of orange juice. A pulpy, old, warm glass of orange juice. Ladies and gentlemen… Cloud Strife's brain."

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