So who is he? Hmn, he looks pretty good, with brown eyes and piercing eyes… but oh well, just another amateur I guess… oh yeah, I heard he came from the upper class. So, why in the world is he, in all places, here? I know she has her reasons for bringing such man here… I just wonder what it is… another interesting fellow… well, we'll see what he has to show up… but I've got no single minute to waste on him right now. For now, I have to concentrate on my target… this mission is important… it always is…
Pround and flirt. Those were my first impressions on her. yes, she was beyond doubt a proud and a very aggressive girl. She would even admit it. She hugged and kissed people as if it was a very common thing to do. However, I learned to get used to it. I got to find out that it was all part of her nature. And she was actually no flirt at all. It's just that she was so cheerful, so sweet and friendly that often, beyond the normal, so it gives people the same wrong impression I had.
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Why am I stucked here with him? Not a big deal, anyway… he's a nice companion – silent, still and wordless… darn, is he MUTE of something? But I can't deny he's damn gorgeous shrugs oh no time for these silly ideas. I have to make a conversation, am no longer expecting he'll do the first move else we can't work well together if we're like this forever… and so, without any second thoughts, I grabbed his arm and leaned over him, pressing his arm as much as I can… "don't worry, we'll reach it" I said. Then, as I saw him looking at me, I gave one of those irresistible puppy eyes of mine, matching a cheery smile.
All of a sudden, she reached my arm and held it tightly with her hands… which surprised me, of course. We haven't even been together that long. Surely, there's nothing else to compare to this girl than silly kid. She then leaned on my side and rested her head against my shoulder, softly uttering "don't worry, we'll reach it…" and I saw her smile like that of a small child in the arms of a longed mother. I watched her intently and when she caught my eyes, I shyly turned my gaze away. I didn't know if I should either be irritated or embarrassed with her silly child-like acts. O realized that if ever there was someone who saw us there, in that exact position, he/she would have definitely thought of us as lovers. But I learned to like it. There was a part inside me which found comfort with this girl… All I am sure of is that… it is in that very moment, while sitting there beside her, when I was first haunted by that strange feeling I wanted to refuse.
So there… at least, I received a bit of reaction from him… was he blushing or what? (giggles)
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She was brave… all I could do is look up to her, admire her…
There's so much time we spend together – during missions, during meetings, even during our spare time. We can actually be a couple if we wanted grins. I know that's how they've always intended us to be. Apparently, he knows that either. But we both rejected the idea for we knew it would be one of the most irrational things that could ever happen. We stayed in the same house I barely call it a house for quite long, but nothing ever happened expectedly, so what is there to happen anyway? Whether he was a gay or simply not attracted to me, I dared no to know. I spent my time I front of my laptop screen, researching for more infos about the next target. And he was there outside, in the house' small garden. For some time, I discovered the child part of his inner self and eventually I came to like him even more.
A pride girl… who hate to lose… even if it takes her own life, she would push through the mission… and as partners, we'd been into a series of troubles because of that disagreeable attitude of her … the first time I've almost gone nuts in worries was when she was shot by a poisonous bullet… I just watched there as she fell before me… and I realized she lost her consciousness. I had no choice but to carry and head outside the base. I held her into my arms, striving desperately to find the exit. I felt so nervous about her situation but my instinct told me that she was going to make it… which she did, only after three days. Other than that incident, the most terribly obviously occurred as another cause of her stubbornness. We were already commanded to retreat from the enemy's base… and she wasn't still convinced that we lost, she didn't want to give up the mission – she never did. It couldn't have happened if she didn't go back… and once again, I just stood there, watching as huge flames of fire came rushing towards her, like a fire-dragon eating her small defenseless body. And when the flames finally diminished, I ran to her as fast as I could. And there on the ground, her body was lying, blood emerging from her old silk-like skin. I stood before her, not knowing what to do. I realized she was still conscious as I found her teary eyes staring up to me. Watching her like that, dying before me, was the most horrifying feeling I've ever encountered.
What is this feeling? Pain… fear… huger… joy… madness… no, I failed to recognize any of them. It is more of emptiness… there is a scattered light in front of me… so bright that I thought it will consume all the fragments in me… and I will surrender to it… so freely… I will embrace it just like how much I've longed to have it… but as soon as I submit myself, his face appeared in the midst of the light, covering parts of it… oh, his face – so delicate, so innocent, so beautiful… and I knew I would have to fight back… for he was there… my life… my love…
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I heard her cries. She was groaning miserably. And I couldn't take it. I headed outside the room, almost creeping on the floor. But even if I did, there were still her shouts, the cries of her pain, all clear in my ears. And as I avoid listening, I was shivering so hard. I leaned myself on the wall beside the door and then wrapped my arms around me as if I was frozen by an unseen frost. I slowly sat down with my knees against my chest and only God knew whether it is my physical self or my soul who was crying at that time. For she was suffering, suffering to death. And I did nothing to help her.
Hunger…pain… I swore I'll never go through such things again… I'll do everything not to become that lost child again, a small forgotten child begging for alms in a deserted countryside. I was cold. I was dirty. So used with the foul-smelling area. I had nowhere to go. Just there, together with the remains of destruction – broken city walls, rusting pieces of metals, scattered trashes and all the flying and crawling unlikable creatures that have served as my living companions. All I did was to sit there, crumpling my body in hunger… in pain… in total despair… a family? I knew I had one even before I was thrown there… but all that could flash back into my mind was a scenario of absolute red – flames, burning everything around me, and blood, covering the ashes. Yes, that fire caused all my past and current suffering, the exact fire that claimed my only family and it was no accident, for some unknown enemies have longed planned it before our time. And I swore that one day, all of them will have to repay. I promised to flee from that town, to abandon whatever misery fate has bestowed upon me… so did i… and now, I will finally take my revenge.