Legal BS: I own nothing.
Judith
By: Inu-Risa Ouji
Chapter 1: Such an Inspiration
You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you
Fuck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why
-A Perfect Circle; Judith©
Harry brought the blade across his wrist for the umpteenth time tonight, Hermoine's words still ringing in his mind.
"All you have to do is pray, Harry." she had said. Yeah? Well, fuck that. Harry always prayed. He had prayed that he would have a real family. He found Sirius and then lost him. He prayed that the war would end. It had, but with how many lives lost, all because one asshole wizard didn't like the way the school was run. 'No, Voldemort wasn't a wizard.' Harry thought bitterly as he observed the thick crimson liquid run from his veins. 'Wizards have more sense than that. No, Voldemort was a monster.'
Pressing the small sheet of sharp, cold steel against his wrist once again, Harry took one clean swipe and a fresh cut, a new gateway to release, was created. It was then that, in his hazy mind, he decided that he would never be like Hermoine. Always looking on the bright side, then being too stupid to see when someone was being screwed over. 'Besides,' Harry smirked bitterly, 'God hates people like us, right? God hates witches and wizards, right?' he asked himself in his mind, wondering how Hermoine would react if he had told her that.
Chuckling darkly to himself, Harry laid back on his bed, succumbing to the darkness that was created , now that the curtains were drawn, and letting his self-afflicted wounds heal on their own. Putting on his muggle headphones and pushing the play button, Harry closed his eyes and listened to the sweet tunes of the Underworld soundtrack, silently thanking any being that would listen that the deep burgundy sheets and comforter might hide the crimson stains that would surely be there in the morning.
"Harry. Harry, wake up." Harry slowly opened his eyes, squinting hard to make out the blurry figure through the sunlight pouring in through the window.
"Ugh, Seamus? Is that you?" he asked groggily. The bouncy Irish boy smiled broadly and took Harry by the hand.
"Yup yup, Harry. Up and at 'em. Gotta get to breakfast and then to potions with, ugh, the Slytherins" Both Seamus and Harry blanched at the mention of their rival house. Why did the sexy house have to give the Gryffindors such hell? It was so unfair. Harry sat up and swung his long skinny legs over the side of the bed and placing his socked feet on the floor. He rose slowly, his tight bones cracking lightly.
"Looks like someone got comfy last night." Seamus joked, not noticing the cuts and scars on Harry's writs and arms. The black haired boy just smiled and searched through his trunk for a clean uniform. He decided on the newly issued burgundy sweater with the Gryffindor crest sewn onto the left breast and the usual dark grey slacks. He easily slipped into his black loafers and equally black cloak.
"Ready." he said, turning back to Seamus.
"Already? You didn't even shower."
"Yeah I did, last night. By the way, where's Ron?" he hadn't seen Ron all morning, although he wasn't too surprised.
"He and Hermoine went down a while ago. Thought you'd know that by now, hun." Seamus replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, even though it damn near was. Harry nodded and started out of the dorms and into the common room. It, too, was near empty, with the exception of a couple of first through third years who decided to come back early and a few sixth year girls who had decided they weren't eating (thanks to a fat comment contributed by a group of Slytherin boys). 'Reason number 2,237 as to why I'm glad I'm gay' Harry thought as he bitterly remembered the scene.
"Come on Harry, we'll be late." Seamus prodded, bouncing around like a hyper three year old. Harry waved a hand at him.
"Coming, coming."
The Great Hall was filled with chatter as always as Seamus and Harry entered, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Harry was laughing at a rather raunchy joke Seamus had told, but his chuckles were cut short as her felt a pair of eyes burning into him. He looked around the Great Hall, his brows furrowed as he tried to find the source of such attention. 'There' he thought as he locked onto the Slytherin table, and, lo and behold, there was none other than Draco Malfoy, staring intently at him with steely grey eyes. Harry stared back for a moment before, very slowly, raising his middle finger at the blonde brat, resulting in the blonde instantly tearing his eyes away from him.
"What was that all about?" Seamus asked, his eyes also gazing at the Slytherin table. Harry just shrugged as the two took a seat at their own table.
"Harry! Hey, mate." Ron greeted as Hermoine smiled. Harry just smiled back, falsely(does that make sense?), before turning his attention back to Seamus, who had started talking as he grabbed a cinnamon roll from one of the platters.
"Harry-chan, it's Friday, you know." He said, using Harry's nickname, used only by Seamus. 'He's been reading way too much manga.' Harry thought before responding.
"Yeah I know."
"Tomorrow's Hogsmede Weekend. You wanna go with me?" he asked, smiling sweetly and fluttering his lashes. Harry smiled at Seamus' attempts at dropping hints, so he agreed.
"Sure. Where do you wanna go?" he asked, still smiling as Seamus blushed. He was so uke.
"Um, well, first I wanted to see if that new muggle shop had the fourth and fifth Hot Gimmick manga. Maybe pick up some pocky, too." Harry nodded.
"It's a date then."
"Great. I was afraid you'd say no, because, you know, you and the lovebirds used to always go together, so I thought I-" the black haired boy put his hand up to silence his friends yammering.
"Seamus, it's no problem. Besides, I don't think they'll miss me too much." he sighed looking over at the two as they ignored him. Sighing again, he concentrated on his breakfast.
Breakfast had ended and everyone had retreated to their classes. Harry had lost Seamus somewhere, so he was now walking alone to the dungeons, which, in retrospect, wasn't such a hot idea.
"Aww, is ickle Potty all alone?" Pansy Parkinson, the slut of Hogwarts, jeered. Harry noticed that neither Draco nor Blaise was there with her, but nonetheless, he continued onward to the Potions classroom.
"Don't walk away like you don't here me, Potter! Or did you forget your place?" at this, Harry whirled around to face Pansy and her group of fake blonde bimbos.
"My place? I think it's you who forgot your place Parkinson's Disease." Pansy and her group gasped. "You think I don't know what kind of girl you are? You along with your little girlfriends here, are the type of girl that walks around thinking she's the shit, but in reality you're nothing but a cheap, fifty-cent slut." He smirked at the expression on the girls' faces. The nearby students remained quiet for a while before the Gryffindors busted out into a harsh, boisterous laughter. Pansy's face, along with the faces of her posse, turned a deep crimson and she turned and ran, tears streaming down her cheeks. Harry smirked even more at his accomplishment before he turned and entered the Potions classroom, receiving fives from Gryffindors and even a few Slytherin.
Inside, Harry took a seat close to the door and was taking out yesterday's assignment when Hermoine placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Harry, that was really mean, what you said to her." Harry turned to face his 'friend', his brows furrowed slightly.
"What, it's okay for her to say something about me, but I'm not allowed to defend myself? Besides, you have nerve talking about mean, seeing as you've barely spoken to me all week." he snapped, a lot quieter than before. Hermoine ruffled lightly.
"I-Harry I've been busy. I told you that."
"Oh, sorry Hermoine. I must've forgotten that sucking face with Ron counts as being busy. My mistake." he hadn't meant to sound so rude, but how dare she take such a high and mighty attitude? 'And when the fuck did it get so hot in the dungeons?' he thought, rolling up his sleeves. It was then he noticed the chair next to him slide out and someone sit next to him. He avoided looking at the person, that is, until he felt the person's eyes boring into his wrist. Nervously, he looked over at the other person, and his heart fell as he locked eyes on a neat patch of blonde hair and cold silver eyes.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, avoiding his gaze.
"Your arm…"
"You want my arm." Malfoy glared.
"No, I mean what happened to your arm?" Harry turned to face him, his black brows furrowed,
"I don't have to explain anything to you, Malfoy. Why'd you sit here, anyway?" Malfoy scoffed and leaned back in his seat, still admiring the scars on his desk mate's arms.
"Despite what you may have heard, Potter, I can sit wherever I damn well please." There wasn't as much venom behind Malfoy's words, but nonetheless, before Harry could reply, Snape started the lesson. The black haired Potions Master grimaced at the site of Harry and Malfoy sitting together, but, much to Harry's surprise, didn't say anything.
"Today, we shall be working on the Shinjitsu Potion, or truth potion (I can't think of the name of the truth serum in the story). It's effects are similar to those of the potion Aurors use, only it targets the drinker's deepest, darkest secrets." Snape's voice was low and deep, adding a more dramatic affect. " You will be working with the person next to you. The instructions and ingredients are at the front of the room, get started and don't screw up." At this dismissal, the students began bustling about the room, collecting the materials and then returning to their seats.
"I think that's it." Harry sighed as he and Malfoy finished the potion. Well, more like Harry finished the potion, Malfoy just sat there, reading off the instructions as Harry chopped, diced, and poured.
"Well, drink up, Potter." Malfoy sighed nonchalantly, resting his head in the palm of his hand. Harry gave him a surprised and somewhat angry look.
"Excuse me? You haven't done jack shit all class. You're drinking it, not me." the black haired boy complained. Malfoy sighed bitterly.
"Professor, Potter isn't cooperating." the blonde tattled. The potions master was on them in a second.
"I don't care what you say. I worked hard while you just sat on your fat arse all class." Malfoy's eyes widened, as did those of Snape and a few nearby students. "And I didn't complain once. Now you have the second easiest job in this assignment, and you're even to lazy to do that? By the gods, what the hell good are you, anyway, Malfoy?" Malfoy, at this point, looked as though he were about to cry, and Snape didn't know what to do.
"Potter-"
"No, I'll tell you what. I'll drink the potion, but you owe me big time, got it?" Draco (I'm tired of calling him Malfoy) nodded pitifully and Harry sat down, dipping the small pewter ladle into the bubbly royal blue potion and, when he figured he had enough, he pulled it out and up to his lips, sipping the potion slowly. By this time, everyone had gone back to what they were doing, and Draco was meekly sitting there, observing. 'Bottom's, I suppose' Harry thought as he felt the warm liquid slither down his throat. As soon as the liquid was downed, Harry felt a slight fuzzy feeling in his mind.
"W-well, Harry? D-does it work?" Draco asked shyly, not wanting to light Harry's already short fuse. Harry turned to face him, still feeling a bit funny.
"I don't know."
"What's your deepest secret?" Draco asked, still a little shy.
"I-I c-cut myself at night…"
A/N: Oh my ugly! I hope you guys like it, 'cause I don't. Not really. Oh, and for those wondering about White Houses, I cannot guarantee the completion of that. There is a fifth chapter in the works, but that may be it for a while.