Broken Dreams
A/N: I dont really know what inspired this. I wrote it at about 2 in the morning. I really like it. I hope to make it extremely long, but that just depends on how many reviews I get. *puppy dog eyes* plleeeaaase review? I can count the number of reveiws Ive ever gotten on one hand! *pouts in a corner* I feel unloved. But anyway, read and enjoy!!!
Hermione ran quickly to the astronomy tower, tears staining her pink cheeks. Her robes fluttered omniously behind her, the black clasp that hung off her small shoulders giving way to the pressure of the wind against it, making the cloak fall to the ground. She had no knowledge of where she was going, she wasnt even noticing what direction she was going. Her feet ran the hallways without her, her body hunching over in fatigue as her breaths began to come harder, in short gasps. Finnaly, she collasped, her hair falling to cover her face. Her hands flew forward to catch herself from smacking her nose into the ground, and in one of them, a small white note was clasped. Her shoulders shook as heaving sobs racked through her small frame.
"Why....."
~2 months later~
Her footsteps echoed against the empty corridor as she slowly walked down the maze of hallways. Her bony hands clasped her bookbag, her was grip slack, allowing the cloth material to scrape against the stone floors, emmiting a schree of sound as it passed over every bumb in the make. Her robes had fluttered open, and for once, she didnt care. There was nobody out in the hallways at that time at night, and so she had no worries as to what she usually hid underneath. With the robes open, her folded up skirt was showed, and her much too baggy shirt. She hadnt the money to buy new clothes, even if she did, what did it matter? Her legs were skinny and frankly all bones, her skin an unnatural shade of color. She sighed as she turned another corner, hopelessly lost. You would think that after a good 6 years of being in the same place, you could find yourself around it. She lazily walked up a staircase that had just recently appeared in front of her. She stood at the end of it, waiting. Finnaly, after at least an hour, the loud clang of the foundation was heard as the stairs shifted, leaving their previous place. Hermione was standing on the very last step, the backs of her feet balancing dangerously over the edge. Her eyes were closed against her thin, bony face, and she sighed, throwing her arms out to the sides. She breathed in deep, counted to seven, and let her breath go. After a moment of indecisiveness, she decided. Taking a second breath, she fell.
~
"Will she be allright, Madam Pomfrey?"
The plump lady walked briskly over to the white, pristine bed on which Hermione lay, her curly brown hair spread about the pillow like a halo around her face.
"I cannot honestly tell you. Im afraid that the fall was not the only thing wrong with her."
"Ma'am?"
"She is extremely below average weight. Its very common, especially with ones their age. They get self concious, want to look good, but they go overboard. Completly destroy their bodies."
"Miss Granger is hardly one to do that...not without reason..."
Dumbledore was greatly disturbed. Anorexia? On Hermione Granger? He frowned in his displeasure, a look of worried concern etched on his features. His mind wandered to a few months ago, when he had been informed by the ministry of the Voldemorts' latest killings. Miller, Thomas, Greening, Patterson, Henson, Weeks, McWilliams, White, Carlson, Granger. And then, when he had gone to talk to the poor girl...She had claimed to already know...that she was ok...But now it was evident that she was not. This. Was not ok.
Madam Pomfrey tsked in annoyence.
"Yes, well, its happened. Now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. The noise will wa-"
She was cut off as the door to the infirmary slammed open, and two bodies came rushing in, worry etched across their faces. Harry was the first to speak, sweat beading his brow from his run across the school.
"Is she ok?! What happened? We were just told..."
"Oh my god....Mione...."
Ron stood wide eyed next to her bed, looking down on her with amazed eyes.
"She--A fall couldnt have done that...What happened!!!"
At the tone of Ron's voice, Harry rushed over, looking down on her as well. His mouth gaped open, his eyes also widening as he took in the sight of her.
"M-Mione..." Madam Pomfrey frowned, walking over to them and placing her hands on her plump hips.
"And what do you think you are doing!? Coming into the hospital wing and making a rufus like that! I understand that you are worried about Miss Granger, but I must ask all of you to leave. All of you."
She said, looking pointedly at Dumbledore.
"But Madam Pomfrey!!!"
"NOW! You are disturbing my patients!"
She glared at them, pointing a demanding finger to the door. Dumbledore sighed, wanting to know more about the young girl, but knew better than to argue with Poppy about her patients. He gently laid his hand on each of the young boys' backs and silently lead them from the room, expertly ignoring thier loud protests.
With the extra people gone from her working space, Poppy briskly hitched up her sleeves and got to work, pulling a dense curtain around the small bed Hermione was on. She had to do a body check, and she was sure that the young lady did not want a person walking in to see her naked body. She whistled a little as she unbuttened the much too large blouse, but the sound immediately stopped as she saw her arms. They were not only thin enough that her hand could easily enfold the frial skin, but there were bruises, cuts all over them. Upon carefully looking at them, it was obvious it was self inflicted. She had seen some disturbing things in her time here an Hogwarts, paralyzed students, removed arms, but to see a being disrespected by itself...it was almost too much to handle. She could barely stop the tears from filling her eyes as she discarded the girl of the rest of her clothes, revealing that her arms were not the only thing that she had taken her frustrations out on. As she uncovered more, her pity for the girl was beggining to be over-ridden by horror as to how anyone could do that to themselves. What did it solve? As she tsked in anger- a nervous habit she had gotten into- Hermione stirred. She moaned as she slowly opened her eyes, looking around disoriently.
"Oh, your awake then. Good. Do you care to do some explaining?"
Hermione was instantly aware of her condition, starting to curl up in a ball to hide her body from the scrutinizing nurse.
"No, dont move."
Madam Pomfrey moved quickly, her strong hands forcing Hermione back into a laying position.
"Now. You fell off the stairs as they were moving, that I don't need an explanation for, that I can understand completely. But if you would so mind to say, as to why your body is covered in scratches?"
"I..I...I....I....run into stuff alot....and...."
"I am not a simpleton, Miss. Granger. Those are not from the result of a clumsy bump."
"I....."
Madam Pomfry opened her mouth to say more, but the sound of the opening door distracted her, and, frowning at Hermione, she whisked out of the curtain. Hermione quickly placed her body under the thin covers, her ears easily picking up on the conversation.
"Ah, Proffesor. Here for your sleeping draught again? I really dont see why you dont just make it yourself. It would make my job easier."
Snape's cold voice answered, not hindered what-so-ever by her scolding tone.
"Yes, well, seeing as it is not my job to keep the basic health working. And yes, I may be able to make it, but it takes a great deal of effort for me to do so, and seeing as you get it for no work at all."
Poppy sighed exasperatedly.
"Yes, Yes, I get the point. Here you are. Now, make sure you dont take too large a dose. Even if it clears the mind-"
"It does terrible things to the health. Yes, I know, Poppy, You have given me this lecture at least 50 times by now."
"Well, You never know. What with how suicidal the people in this school keep getting."
"Suicidal? Poppy, what are you talking about? There hasn't been a student like that in ages."
"Yes, well, there is now."
It didn't really faze Hermione that she knew that Madam Pomfry was talking about her, but it made her curious as to why the famous git of Hogwarts was being so nice to the nurse. She had never known him to be even nuetral to anyone. If she had seen the swift look of sadness that had passed over his face, she would have dropped down dead, sick or not. She sighed as he left the room again, leaving her to the mercy of the critical nurse. She groaned in annoyance as the lady walked back into her little personal place there, glaring at her as she fixed Hermione with a glare of her own.
"Oh, stop pouting, you brought it upon yourself."
Hermione pointedly glared at her again, and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall asleep, away from the pestering of the room.
~
Hermione walked up the rounded stairs to Dumbledore's office, being just let out from the infirmary. She knocked tentively on the wooden door, waiting for the soft "enter" to drift to her ears before turning the brass handle and walking into the large room.
"You wanted to see me, Proffesor?"
Dumbledore looked up, his old face lined with wrinkles that seemed much more prominant than they had ever seemed before on his normaly cheerful face. But now it was covered with sadness. He looked on her with pity, and it made her look away, a rage surging inside of her. She didnt want to be pitied. She just wanted them to leave her alone. Did they have a problem with that? What was so wrong with leaving a person be?! What did it matter to them what she did to herself?
"Please sit down Miss Granger."
Dumbledores soft voice cut through her thoughts, making her look up at him, surprised. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts she had actually forgotten that he was there. She nodded and walked over to the plush leather chair in front of his desk, plopping her frail body down on it.
"Now, I wanted to...Do you have something you need to talk about, Miss. Granger? Something you need to get out? To get over?"
Her eyes flashed again in anger. Why would she tell him?
"No."
Dumbledore didn't miss her reactions through the whole time, and he was fairly sure of her thoughts. The sadness that had been in him doubled. She had changed so much. So much had gone from her cheerful demeanor since that day. Voldemort had done this to her. And he hated the old Bastard more than ever at this moment. Hermione didnt deserve what she had gone through. She didnt deserve to have her family ripped away from her. She didnt deserve to be broken.
"Very well, Miss Granger. If you are sure...I would suggest you get back to your dormitory before curfew."
Hermione nodded, gingerly picking herself up and walking hastily out of the office. As the heavy door thudded shut, he put his elbows on the table, leaning his head into his gnarled hands.
"Damn you Tom...."
~
Hermione had no intention of returning to the common room. She didnt like it there. It was always too crowded and noisy, with people bothering you every minute. She took the well known passages up to the upper levels of Hogwarts, shivering slightly at the cool wind that breezed against her bare arms as she pulled open the door to the astronomy tower. Madam Pomfrey had given her fitting school clothes, but it seemed she forgot to give her a cloak. She hadnt thought much of it, It was after classes anyway, and everybody would be in the common rooms. She checked the small silver watch on her wrist, determining the time as she headed up the winding stairs to the roof of the tower. Five minutes after Curfew. Nobody would see her on her way back then, as long as she stayed clear of teachers. She might just stay untill sunrise, watch the rays hit the earth- as she did sometimes. But as she reached the top of the tower, her hopes were dashed. Sitting near the edge, a large, old looking book in his lap, was a shadowy figure, reading with a noncaring air about him. She sighed and walked forward, leaning against one of the stone pillars facing out onto the grounds.
"Evening Professor Snape, What a fancy meeting you here."
His head shot up, surprised at the voice, especially a student's voice.
"Miss Granger! What do you think you are doing here, after curfew! Fifty points off of Gryffindor and a detention with Filch, I wont report you to the headmaster only because it is barely after curfew. Now get back to your house. Or should I give a more feirce punishment?"
He glared up at her, waiting for the look of dissapointment cross her face, and for her to scurry away. But to his surprise, she merely crossed her hands in front of her chest and continued to stare out at the sky.
"I dont really mind the points, Proffessor, I would much rather stay here."
Snape's eyes widened. Hermione. Granger. Had just talked back to a teacher. The world could end now and he wouldnt be surprised.
"Just. what do you think you are doing, Miss. Granger?!" He was furious. Why wasnt she listening to him? She had the nerve to-
"Im looking at the sky, proffessor."
Snape was about to say something else as the clouds shifted and the moon shone through, bathing her in moonlight. The words died on his lips. Her skin wasnt normal...and it wasnt just the glow of the moon. It was pale and yellowing, and her bones showed easily through her taunt skin.
"M-miss....Granger....."
Hermione knew where his gaze was, and she rubbed her arms uncomfortably.
"I-I guess I'll go now...I am ...sorta tired....after all..."
Thats right. She didnt have her robes on. Idiot. She mentaly beraded herself as she walked towards the steps.
"Stop. Stay where you are."
She stopped in mid-step, her eyes fixed on the ground.
"Do you need something Proffessor Snape?"
He stood up, walking over to her. He stood right behind her, his long fingers brushing against her arm for a moment.
"Granger...what..."
Hermione quickly moved away, heading for the steps again.
"Goodnight, Proffessor."
"Miss. Granger!"
She walked down the steps, pulling the heavy trapdoor closed behind her. Once she reached the hallways, she broke into a run, not stopping untill she got to the portraight, where she stood, catching her breath so that she could gasp out the password to the picture and slink inside. She collasped onto the bed, falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.
A/N: Alrighties. Thats it. Tell me how you liked It!!!! *smile smile* Oh, yeah, I dont own Harry Potter. ^^ Whoa...ehhe....I just noticed that this one wuz pretty long. At least on my comp. It'll look so much shorter on the website....awww.....
A/N: I dont really know what inspired this. I wrote it at about 2 in the morning. I really like it. I hope to make it extremely long, but that just depends on how many reviews I get. *puppy dog eyes* plleeeaaase review? I can count the number of reveiws Ive ever gotten on one hand! *pouts in a corner* I feel unloved. But anyway, read and enjoy!!!
Hermione ran quickly to the astronomy tower, tears staining her pink cheeks. Her robes fluttered omniously behind her, the black clasp that hung off her small shoulders giving way to the pressure of the wind against it, making the cloak fall to the ground. She had no knowledge of where she was going, she wasnt even noticing what direction she was going. Her feet ran the hallways without her, her body hunching over in fatigue as her breaths began to come harder, in short gasps. Finnaly, she collasped, her hair falling to cover her face. Her hands flew forward to catch herself from smacking her nose into the ground, and in one of them, a small white note was clasped. Her shoulders shook as heaving sobs racked through her small frame.
"Why....."
~2 months later~
Her footsteps echoed against the empty corridor as she slowly walked down the maze of hallways. Her bony hands clasped her bookbag, her was grip slack, allowing the cloth material to scrape against the stone floors, emmiting a schree of sound as it passed over every bumb in the make. Her robes had fluttered open, and for once, she didnt care. There was nobody out in the hallways at that time at night, and so she had no worries as to what she usually hid underneath. With the robes open, her folded up skirt was showed, and her much too baggy shirt. She hadnt the money to buy new clothes, even if she did, what did it matter? Her legs were skinny and frankly all bones, her skin an unnatural shade of color. She sighed as she turned another corner, hopelessly lost. You would think that after a good 6 years of being in the same place, you could find yourself around it. She lazily walked up a staircase that had just recently appeared in front of her. She stood at the end of it, waiting. Finnaly, after at least an hour, the loud clang of the foundation was heard as the stairs shifted, leaving their previous place. Hermione was standing on the very last step, the backs of her feet balancing dangerously over the edge. Her eyes were closed against her thin, bony face, and she sighed, throwing her arms out to the sides. She breathed in deep, counted to seven, and let her breath go. After a moment of indecisiveness, she decided. Taking a second breath, she fell.
~
"Will she be allright, Madam Pomfrey?"
The plump lady walked briskly over to the white, pristine bed on which Hermione lay, her curly brown hair spread about the pillow like a halo around her face.
"I cannot honestly tell you. Im afraid that the fall was not the only thing wrong with her."
"Ma'am?"
"She is extremely below average weight. Its very common, especially with ones their age. They get self concious, want to look good, but they go overboard. Completly destroy their bodies."
"Miss Granger is hardly one to do that...not without reason..."
Dumbledore was greatly disturbed. Anorexia? On Hermione Granger? He frowned in his displeasure, a look of worried concern etched on his features. His mind wandered to a few months ago, when he had been informed by the ministry of the Voldemorts' latest killings. Miller, Thomas, Greening, Patterson, Henson, Weeks, McWilliams, White, Carlson, Granger. And then, when he had gone to talk to the poor girl...She had claimed to already know...that she was ok...But now it was evident that she was not. This. Was not ok.
Madam Pomfrey tsked in annoyence.
"Yes, well, its happened. Now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. The noise will wa-"
She was cut off as the door to the infirmary slammed open, and two bodies came rushing in, worry etched across their faces. Harry was the first to speak, sweat beading his brow from his run across the school.
"Is she ok?! What happened? We were just told..."
"Oh my god....Mione...."
Ron stood wide eyed next to her bed, looking down on her with amazed eyes.
"She--A fall couldnt have done that...What happened!!!"
At the tone of Ron's voice, Harry rushed over, looking down on her as well. His mouth gaped open, his eyes also widening as he took in the sight of her.
"M-Mione..." Madam Pomfrey frowned, walking over to them and placing her hands on her plump hips.
"And what do you think you are doing!? Coming into the hospital wing and making a rufus like that! I understand that you are worried about Miss Granger, but I must ask all of you to leave. All of you."
She said, looking pointedly at Dumbledore.
"But Madam Pomfrey!!!"
"NOW! You are disturbing my patients!"
She glared at them, pointing a demanding finger to the door. Dumbledore sighed, wanting to know more about the young girl, but knew better than to argue with Poppy about her patients. He gently laid his hand on each of the young boys' backs and silently lead them from the room, expertly ignoring thier loud protests.
With the extra people gone from her working space, Poppy briskly hitched up her sleeves and got to work, pulling a dense curtain around the small bed Hermione was on. She had to do a body check, and she was sure that the young lady did not want a person walking in to see her naked body. She whistled a little as she unbuttened the much too large blouse, but the sound immediately stopped as she saw her arms. They were not only thin enough that her hand could easily enfold the frial skin, but there were bruises, cuts all over them. Upon carefully looking at them, it was obvious it was self inflicted. She had seen some disturbing things in her time here an Hogwarts, paralyzed students, removed arms, but to see a being disrespected by itself...it was almost too much to handle. She could barely stop the tears from filling her eyes as she discarded the girl of the rest of her clothes, revealing that her arms were not the only thing that she had taken her frustrations out on. As she uncovered more, her pity for the girl was beggining to be over-ridden by horror as to how anyone could do that to themselves. What did it solve? As she tsked in anger- a nervous habit she had gotten into- Hermione stirred. She moaned as she slowly opened her eyes, looking around disoriently.
"Oh, your awake then. Good. Do you care to do some explaining?"
Hermione was instantly aware of her condition, starting to curl up in a ball to hide her body from the scrutinizing nurse.
"No, dont move."
Madam Pomfrey moved quickly, her strong hands forcing Hermione back into a laying position.
"Now. You fell off the stairs as they were moving, that I don't need an explanation for, that I can understand completely. But if you would so mind to say, as to why your body is covered in scratches?"
"I..I...I....I....run into stuff alot....and...."
"I am not a simpleton, Miss. Granger. Those are not from the result of a clumsy bump."
"I....."
Madam Pomfry opened her mouth to say more, but the sound of the opening door distracted her, and, frowning at Hermione, she whisked out of the curtain. Hermione quickly placed her body under the thin covers, her ears easily picking up on the conversation.
"Ah, Proffesor. Here for your sleeping draught again? I really dont see why you dont just make it yourself. It would make my job easier."
Snape's cold voice answered, not hindered what-so-ever by her scolding tone.
"Yes, well, seeing as it is not my job to keep the basic health working. And yes, I may be able to make it, but it takes a great deal of effort for me to do so, and seeing as you get it for no work at all."
Poppy sighed exasperatedly.
"Yes, Yes, I get the point. Here you are. Now, make sure you dont take too large a dose. Even if it clears the mind-"
"It does terrible things to the health. Yes, I know, Poppy, You have given me this lecture at least 50 times by now."
"Well, You never know. What with how suicidal the people in this school keep getting."
"Suicidal? Poppy, what are you talking about? There hasn't been a student like that in ages."
"Yes, well, there is now."
It didn't really faze Hermione that she knew that Madam Pomfry was talking about her, but it made her curious as to why the famous git of Hogwarts was being so nice to the nurse. She had never known him to be even nuetral to anyone. If she had seen the swift look of sadness that had passed over his face, she would have dropped down dead, sick or not. She sighed as he left the room again, leaving her to the mercy of the critical nurse. She groaned in annoyance as the lady walked back into her little personal place there, glaring at her as she fixed Hermione with a glare of her own.
"Oh, stop pouting, you brought it upon yourself."
Hermione pointedly glared at her again, and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall asleep, away from the pestering of the room.
~
Hermione walked up the rounded stairs to Dumbledore's office, being just let out from the infirmary. She knocked tentively on the wooden door, waiting for the soft "enter" to drift to her ears before turning the brass handle and walking into the large room.
"You wanted to see me, Proffesor?"
Dumbledore looked up, his old face lined with wrinkles that seemed much more prominant than they had ever seemed before on his normaly cheerful face. But now it was covered with sadness. He looked on her with pity, and it made her look away, a rage surging inside of her. She didnt want to be pitied. She just wanted them to leave her alone. Did they have a problem with that? What was so wrong with leaving a person be?! What did it matter to them what she did to herself?
"Please sit down Miss Granger."
Dumbledores soft voice cut through her thoughts, making her look up at him, surprised. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts she had actually forgotten that he was there. She nodded and walked over to the plush leather chair in front of his desk, plopping her frail body down on it.
"Now, I wanted to...Do you have something you need to talk about, Miss. Granger? Something you need to get out? To get over?"
Her eyes flashed again in anger. Why would she tell him?
"No."
Dumbledore didn't miss her reactions through the whole time, and he was fairly sure of her thoughts. The sadness that had been in him doubled. She had changed so much. So much had gone from her cheerful demeanor since that day. Voldemort had done this to her. And he hated the old Bastard more than ever at this moment. Hermione didnt deserve what she had gone through. She didnt deserve to have her family ripped away from her. She didnt deserve to be broken.
"Very well, Miss Granger. If you are sure...I would suggest you get back to your dormitory before curfew."
Hermione nodded, gingerly picking herself up and walking hastily out of the office. As the heavy door thudded shut, he put his elbows on the table, leaning his head into his gnarled hands.
"Damn you Tom...."
~
Hermione had no intention of returning to the common room. She didnt like it there. It was always too crowded and noisy, with people bothering you every minute. She took the well known passages up to the upper levels of Hogwarts, shivering slightly at the cool wind that breezed against her bare arms as she pulled open the door to the astronomy tower. Madam Pomfrey had given her fitting school clothes, but it seemed she forgot to give her a cloak. She hadnt thought much of it, It was after classes anyway, and everybody would be in the common rooms. She checked the small silver watch on her wrist, determining the time as she headed up the winding stairs to the roof of the tower. Five minutes after Curfew. Nobody would see her on her way back then, as long as she stayed clear of teachers. She might just stay untill sunrise, watch the rays hit the earth- as she did sometimes. But as she reached the top of the tower, her hopes were dashed. Sitting near the edge, a large, old looking book in his lap, was a shadowy figure, reading with a noncaring air about him. She sighed and walked forward, leaning against one of the stone pillars facing out onto the grounds.
"Evening Professor Snape, What a fancy meeting you here."
His head shot up, surprised at the voice, especially a student's voice.
"Miss Granger! What do you think you are doing here, after curfew! Fifty points off of Gryffindor and a detention with Filch, I wont report you to the headmaster only because it is barely after curfew. Now get back to your house. Or should I give a more feirce punishment?"
He glared up at her, waiting for the look of dissapointment cross her face, and for her to scurry away. But to his surprise, she merely crossed her hands in front of her chest and continued to stare out at the sky.
"I dont really mind the points, Proffessor, I would much rather stay here."
Snape's eyes widened. Hermione. Granger. Had just talked back to a teacher. The world could end now and he wouldnt be surprised.
"Just. what do you think you are doing, Miss. Granger?!" He was furious. Why wasnt she listening to him? She had the nerve to-
"Im looking at the sky, proffessor."
Snape was about to say something else as the clouds shifted and the moon shone through, bathing her in moonlight. The words died on his lips. Her skin wasnt normal...and it wasnt just the glow of the moon. It was pale and yellowing, and her bones showed easily through her taunt skin.
"M-miss....Granger....."
Hermione knew where his gaze was, and she rubbed her arms uncomfortably.
"I-I guess I'll go now...I am ...sorta tired....after all..."
Thats right. She didnt have her robes on. Idiot. She mentaly beraded herself as she walked towards the steps.
"Stop. Stay where you are."
She stopped in mid-step, her eyes fixed on the ground.
"Do you need something Proffessor Snape?"
He stood up, walking over to her. He stood right behind her, his long fingers brushing against her arm for a moment.
"Granger...what..."
Hermione quickly moved away, heading for the steps again.
"Goodnight, Proffessor."
"Miss. Granger!"
She walked down the steps, pulling the heavy trapdoor closed behind her. Once she reached the hallways, she broke into a run, not stopping untill she got to the portraight, where she stood, catching her breath so that she could gasp out the password to the picture and slink inside. She collasped onto the bed, falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.
A/N: Alrighties. Thats it. Tell me how you liked It!!!! *smile smile* Oh, yeah, I dont own Harry Potter. ^^ Whoa...ehhe....I just noticed that this one wuz pretty long. At least on my comp. It'll look so much shorter on the website....awww.....