a/n: the starr/asa stuff is really extraneous, but I used to love Asa/Starr scenes, so I wrote one in.

Jessica Buchanan fiddled with the bracelet around her wrist. Her father had given it to her on her sixteenth birthday. She hoped it would help her to gain strength for what she had to do today. For what she had to do to Antonio.

"Hey Jess."

"Cristian," she said, smiling a forced smile, as she turned around. He wasn't smiling back. "You're mad at me."

"You're helping RJ," he stated.

"It's something I need to do for me Cristian," she told him. "Can't you understand that? Can't this not affect us?"

"He's my brother," Cris told her.

"Yeah, and I'm your oldest friend," she informed him. "Our relationship has nothing to do with your brother or my sister. I would hope that we-" She broke off. Cristian wasn't looking at her anymore. He seemed to be lost in his own world.

"Cris, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't tell me that," she spat at him. "I know you better than anyone. And I don't know that look. I've never seen that look before. So tell me what's going on." He looked into her pleading eyes. Maybe he could trust her.

"Jessica," he said lowly, pulling her into an empty corner of the courthouse hallway, "what if I don't know you?"

"What?" she asked, confused.

"What if I'm not Cristian?" he asked.

"Cris what are you saying?"

"I mean, I don't remember you, or Natalie or Antonio or anyone. I recognize your faces and know some basic facts, but I don't have any memories. I remember you like I remember the civil war or math or something- it's like I've been taught to know you. What if I'm like, a clone or something? What if I'm not Cristian? And if I am Cristian, why the hell can't I remember anything?"

She searched his eyes. He looked at her, scared and helpless. "Cristian," she said slowly. "That's-"

"Ridiculous?"

"You're Cristian," she told him. "I know it. When I look into your eyes, I see you. You can't hide an artist's soul." Now it all made sense. Why she thought he seemed wrong. Because he came back wrong.

"Well then why don't I feel like Cristian?"

"I don't know. Have you told Natalie this?"

"No."

"Cris, she's your wife."

"And she's glad I'm back. I don't want to hurt her. You can't tell her Jess. Promise me."

"No, she's my-"

"Promise me and I won't hate you for Antonio."

She bit her bottom lip. "On one more condition."

"What?"

"You let me help you. You let me and psychiatrists help you remember. You try to fix yourself so my sister can have her husband back. And whenwe figure this out, you tell her everything."

He stared at her. He nodded.

"We better get inside, Jess. It'll be starting soon."

----------------------------------------

"Not going to the hearing?" Joey asked.

"Nope," Kevin replied. "Jess and I discussed it. I support her, but I can't support RJ. And that's what it would look like."

"Plus…" Joey trailed off. Kevin looked at him.

"Antonio's Jamie's father," Kevin finished the sentence. "I understand what he's going through. I may not like the guy, but I get it."

"You okay, Kev?" Joey asked sitting down across from him at the kitchen table. Kevin snorted.

"No, Dorian shipped Kelly off somewhere. I can't find her." Joey looked down. "I'm sorry Joey. I shouldn't talk about this stuff with you."

"No," Joey said. "I'm your brother. Who else would you go to?"

"But still," Kevin said. He paused, comtemplating if they should do this now. Fuck it, why not? "Do you hate me?" Joey smirked.

"Kelly asked me that same thing," Joey told him. "If I hated her, if I hated you, how I could hate one of you more than the other. How I could still blame her after all these years."

"What did you say?" Kevin asked quietly, a bit afraid of the answer.

"I'll probably never forgive it, never really understand it. In truth a part of me will always hate you both a little for it. It's why I gave up the church. I didn't feel right preaching forgiveness when I couldn't do it."

"So you and me? We'll never be okay?"

"We already are Kev," Joey told him. "You're my brother. You looked out for me, ever since I was a little kid. We'll always be okay, no matter what."

Kevin nodded.

"Besides, I understand the allure of Kelly Cramer," Joey told him, "more than anyone."

Kevin allowed himself a small smile. "And look where that's gotten us." They were silent for a bit. "So you gave up the church, eh?"

"Yup."

"Ever think about coming back to the Banner?" Kevin asked.

"Kevin, you're not even in charge there anymore."

"No," Kevin replied. "But I have BE. And in a few years, Natalie will be running it with me. And Jess is reporting there. And in a few years she'll be editing. And if you were there, all our family's holdings, they'd have this awesome Buchanan sibling unstoppable tag team."

"I sure hope that's not your pitch to potential investors," Joey told him. "Or else in a few years, there won't be any BE."

"Come home, Joey," Kevin pleaded, ignoring Joey's attempt at a joke. "Please, come home. I want my brother back."

Joey smiled, standing. "I'll think about it," he answered, patting his brother on the back before exiting the kitchen.

------------------------------------

"What are you doin here?" Asa Buchanan asked gruffly.

"What are you doing here?" Starr snipped back.

"My wife owns this joint," he told her. "I have every right to be here."

"So do I," Starr snitted. "I have more money than half these lowlives."

"Don't you have parents?" Asa asked gruffly.

"I'm not here with them," Starr told him. "I'm here with my friend Ginger."

"Well why aren't you with her?"

"I don't have to answer to you," Starr spat.

"So where are your parents?" Asa asked.

"At work," Starr informed him. "Dad's writing an editorial about your dirtbag grandson."

"And he's not writing one about your baby- stealing cousin?"

"He wanted to," Starr told him. "But mom said no. He had this awesome headline about Klepto Kelly."

"That's actually kind of clever of Manning."

"I came up with it."

"Figures," Asa noted. "You still like lizards?"

"Yup," Starr told him. "Why? Got anyone you hate?"

"Always," Asa told her. "How about you?"

"Jinnie Tomkins sucks," Starr told him. "But everyone else is just a minor annoyance."

"How bout that guy over there?" Asa asked.

Starr looked over. "Spencer Truman? Yeah, he's kind of creepy. No one believes me though. You think they'd learn after Max and the man on the wheel."

"He's in room 405," Asa informed her. "My wife owns this place. I can get any key I want."

"There's a pet store across the street," Starr added, cluing in to Asa's plan. "But Ginger will be here any second, she's just parking the car. You go get the supplies, meet me back here in ten minutes. I'll be able to slip away for a few."

"Keep your eye on the good doctor," Asa told her.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," Starr said. Asa understood the meaning.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," he told her. They smiled at each other, deviously, than departed for their part in the plan.

------------------------------------

Natalie sighed. The hearing was going to be hard. She was seated next to Cristian on Antonio's side. She looked wistfully over at her mother. She wished she was sitting with her. She took a sidelong glance at Cris. He was staring intently at the judge. She sighed inwardly. Would it always be like this?

"I love my daughter," Antonio insisted.

"I don't see how he could love her," RJ told the judge. "I had a daughter and have a grand-daughter and I can't imagine giving them up for anything."

"My son is a good person," Carlotta said, "and RJ is a criminal. He doesn't deserve my grand-daughter. And Jamie doesn't deserve to be some daughter substitute."

"It's true that my daughter jen died," Lindsey said. "And I loved her and I will always miss her. But my love for Jamie is very separate from my love for Jen. Just like my love for my son Will is. I love Jamie for Jamie."

"RJ Gannon has hurt a lot of people in this community," Cristian said. "He's put lives in danger. I don't want to see that happen to my neice."

"Yes my brother has a shady past," Hank admitted. "But he's been living the straight life for a long time now. Jamie and her mother, keri, rest her soul, have been such a positive influence on him."

"I am a good father," Antonio insisted.

"I don't doubt Antonio's fathering abilities," Nora said. "But when I see Jamie and RJ together, it's like they're both completed."

"Ms. Buchanan, how do you know Mr. Vega?" Evangeline asked.

"He's my ex-fiancee."

"And why are you not together anymore?"

"Many reasons," Jessica told her. "I needed to be by myself for awhile. I needed to be my own person."

"Do you think you two will ever get back together?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He's so angry. I don't know why. But he always had some vendetta. When he was a cop, it's like he got to alleviate some of it, but now that he quit the force… He picked a fight with his own brother for godsakes… and it's not like I ever thought he'd hurt me physically, but he did hurt me emotionally all the time. The way he said things, the looks he gave me, it all hurt. And I grew up in a loving home. I was lucky. My parents, the Buchanans are amazing people. And I want that for Jamie. Because I love her."

Natalie looked at her sister, smiling, trying to give her encouragement.

"If that's all," the judge said, "I'd like to adjourn until 2 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, where I will give my decision. Adjourned."

"Jessica made her way over to her mother and Natalie. The three hugged. Antonio stared at her- anger, hatred, sadness, all obvious on his face. Jessica looked down. Had she done the right thing?

"This has been a very difficult decision," the judge said, at 2 pm the next day. "Both Mr. Gannon and Mr. Vega showed they love Jamie Vega. However sometimes love isn't enough. Therefore, in light of some very persuasive testimony on the parts of Ms. Buchanan, ADA Buchanan, and DA Gannon, I hereby award full custody to Mr. Gannon. Mr. Vega will have visitation rights, to be decided with a mediator at a later date. In one years time the matter will be reevaluated. Thank you." The judge left.

Antonio looked down. Carlotta and Cristian consoled him. RJ kissed Lindsay. Hank clapped his brother on the back. Jessica stared at them. Yes, she had done the right thing.