Disclaimer: I don't own gundam Wing or any of the characters and don't make anything form writing these story. This is the only time I'm putting this up.

Enjoy the story and write me. Peace.

Prologue

Years now to consider everything in my life and I still come to the same conclusion 'I'm screwed'. Shaking my head I look down at the invitation again. I'm sure I don't want to go, but…there is that small side that keeps saying that I should go. I think…I think that despite everything that I kind of miss the others…I miss him. I know that I took off after the war, but I really do think I liked him.

I know what you're thinking you know. 'How can the perfect solider like anyone?' Let's get this straight now. I'm not the perfect solider and probably never was. One person showed me this. That's part of the reason I left so quickly after the war, I didn't want to face the truth of what he was saying. It's also probably why this small part wants to go because he'll be there.

Heero stood up frustrated. 'This is ridiculous. What could I say to them…to him? Hi sorry I took off, I needed to know that I could learn to live.' He sighed, 'right. I wasn't even supposed to be alive after the war.'

He looked down at the invitation in his hand and crumpled it throwing it into the corner. 'Stupid girl how did she find me again.' Eh sighed deeper, there really was no way to stop that girl, she always got what she wanted and apparently she wanted him. He looked at the invitation crumpled in the corner and frowned. "No not this time, I won't go.'

He walked over to the door grabbing his jacket on the way out. He knew that Relena would be calling sooner or later to make sure he had gotten his invitation and was planning on going. But for right now he needed to get his thoughts together. He headed out of his apartment and down the busy streets packed with people doing there Christmas shopping, heading to the small park just down the street. Nobody was around at this time of the year. It was far to cold to be outside but here he could be alone to think without interruptions. He sat down on the bench and sighed. This was better, much better. He never felt as trapped when he was outside so he relaxed and let the calmness of his surroundings wash over him. He'd deal with everything else later, when he was more in control of himself.