Meehee. Here goes.
Disclaimer: Must I repeat this? I don't own Artemis Fowl characters. I do own Katrina. I own #2 occasionally, when she is sane. That enough?
To my reviewers…
Nalie, Wottabout- Ooh, emotional breakdowns, claustrophobic ness. Must do something about that.
Spanishfaerie- yep, details. I must add details. I'm bad at details. I'll try to add more details here.
Nenton- Yes. I… HATE… Hao. –eats rabid lupe-
Hao-addict- Yes, Ko. Berus. Remember Berus?. Yes, I deleted the other one. For reasons unknown.
Fish stix satay- 'curtains' gave me an idea :P
Athleticsrulz-yes, hit me with the piano.
The Dark Empress of Eternity- Thanks again for your idea. I'm no good at romance fics either.
Miyu399- thanks :)
Syody- thanks :)
IhateSool- thanks, -looks for typos-
FetishFemale- I'm sorry if they scare you. Katrina is based off my friend, OtakuNekoGirl, so blame her for being scary. Umm… but I can't explain #2's scariness. She's a figment of my imagination, and she lives in the part of my imagination that I can't control.
Now, ON TO THE STORY!
"Well… it's Saturday." #2 said. "We're here. And so are two sacks of potatoes." Two sacks of potatoes suddenly fell on the ground, creating a large thud and making everyone jump.
"Potatoes!"
"Yes, potatoes. They'll be your breakfast, lunch and dinner. You need to peel them." She continued. "And, while you're doing it… we have to play a game."
"Which is…"
"Truth Or Dare?"
"What? NO! That's a stupid game!" Foaly stomped off to sulk in a corner.
"You must do what we tell you, otherwise you will be denied access to the bathroom for two days." Katrina reminded cheerfully.
"Fine."
"So you all know the mechanics of the game, right? The second speaker asked. (I'll just call her #2. She doesn't have a name yet. Actually, she does. But I won't tell you. Heehee.) "It's a stupid game, anyway, but our AUTHOR" – she paused for a while, clearly angry—"decided to put it. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, ONA?"
"Yes." A disembodied voice said from nowhere. "Now get back to what I told you to do. I am the almighty creator of this fic!"
"Did that just happen, or did we all finally go crazy?" Holly asked uncertainly.
"I think it's safe to say we've all gone crazy." Foaly said.
"Well, that's good enough an explanation for me."
"We'll be taking part in the game too. Another one of the requirements of the author." #2 said.
"Everyone in a circle. "
They followed instructions, and waited to see what would happen.
"I am O." Katrina explained. A circle appeared on the ground between Holly and Artemis.
"And obviously, I'm X." #2 said. The X was between Root and Mulch.
"Wait for the stupid arrow to stop. This is a stupid game. I'm overusing the stupid word stupid." #2 said.
There was now an arrow in the middle of the circle, spinning till it came to a stop… on the X.
"Oh, great." #2 said sarcastically.
"Truth or Dare?" Katrina said.
"Since I obviously can't do a dare, Truth."
"Umm…. ano… If you… um… I KNOW! If you had to choose who would you kiss Arty or Mulch?" (Author's note: My friend, Katrina, seriously asked this question when I asked her to help me with the fic. Yes, she's the same Katrina mentioned here.)
Artemis looked disgusted at the question. #2 would have looked disgusted too, if you could see her face.
"You're seriously asking that?"
"Yep."
"Well… fine. I'm going to kill the author of this fic if I ever gain control of my free will." She mumbled. "I'd have to say Artemis, because he's a member of the same species. HAPPY NOW, KATRINA?"
"Yes! Lol! very happy! LMAO!"
Foaly was trying to hide his laughter, but was failing miserably. #2 responded by dropping a potato on his head.
"Well, Foaly's out of the game, due to unconsciousness. Let us continue."
Well, at least we know that humans are the ones holding us captive… Artemis thought.
The arrow started spinning again. This time it landed on…
"Artemis! Look's like you're next!"
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth. But by taking truth I would be asked a very idiotic question. But it is better than the alternative."
"So, Arty, if you had to choose, who would you pick to be the most important people in your life—Butler, or one of your parents. You can only choose one!" Katrina said.
She was right. This IS a stupid game. Artemis thought irritably.
Told you so. #2's voice suddenly said in his head.
"I would pick... My father, for without him he wouldn't have married my mom who would have never had me, and if I wasn't a Fowl, like my father, Butler wouldn't be have met me. So there." He said in a rush, so that no one could actually hear what he was saying without recording it and playing it back slowly.
"Okay, I think you said that way too fast for anyone to understand."
"NEXT VICTIM!" #2 screamed.
The pointer was spinning again. This time, it landed on…
"HOLLY!" #2 said happily.
Holly stared at the pointer. "D'Arvit…"
"Fine. Dare."
"I KNOW!" Katrina screeched. "We dare you to kiss... MULCH!"
"WHAT!" D'Arvit, no!" Holly shouted, throwing a potato at Mulch's head."
"Katrina, you're sounding more like an idiotic teenager everyday.." #2 remarked. "That was such a predictable dare."
"No, it was a classic dare!" she protested.
"Stupid, Katrina, the word is stupid. And predictable."
"CLASSIC!"
"Oh, shut up. Holly, I'm feeling sorry for you, so you don't have to do this dare, because Katrina's an idiot. And also because it looks like Mulch is unconscious."
"It's classic, I told you, classic!"
"Shut up."
"PII!"
Well, the one we don't know the name of seems kinder… Artemis thought. To us, at least.Oh, gods, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me not do this… Holly thanked her silently. That was also a very lucky throw; hit him hard enough to knock him unconscious.
"Next? Mulch is out of the game, on the grounds that a potato has knocked him out. That's the second one already!"
"Well… what's next?"
"Spin again!"
The arrow started spinning again. It went around several times before stopping on the X.
"Not again… This thing must be rigged or something. Katrina, what did you do to it?"
"Hmm… your truth question is…"
"I have a better question," Artemis interrupted. "Why are you keeping us here?"
"No comment." #2's voice suddenly went from sounding happy to sounding deadly.
"Answer the question. It's part of the game."
"No freaking comment."
"It's your rules."
"I said no comment, Fowl, get that into your over inflated head. I will not answer that question."
"But we answered all your questions!"
"You know what, Arty, you're really starting to bug me. I have to devise a proper punishment for this."
They heard the sound of several buttons being pushed, and something began to happen. The room, which had been big enough for them at the start, was getting smaller. The walls were slowly closing in on them, as if they were about to be crushed.
"The walls!" Root shouted. He was trying to push the walls back into place, but obviously failing.
Butler gulped. They had taught him to handle many things at Madame Ko's academy, but how to handle shrinking rooms was not one of them.
Okay, so maybe she isn't as nice as we thought. Artemis noted.
The room was barely big enough for all of them to stand in when the walls suddenly went back to their normal position. Slowly, the room went back to normal size.
There was complete silence after that. No one spoke, no one moved. They all just stared at each other, shocked at what happened.
After what seemed like an eternity, #2's voice cut into the silence.
"Sorry!" she said, her voice suddenly happy again. "I had to do that to teach you all a lesson. If I won't tell you, I'll never tell you. I'm so sorry I had to scare you like that, but the reasons are top-secret."
"We'll be going now." Katrina was still there, and she also seemed stunned at what #2 had done.
"No more of your stupid questions tomorrow. But I promise that's the last time I'll do something like that. I'll be nice from now on."
"…" The residents of the room were silent, not wanting to anger her more.
"We'll do something fun tomorrow. And I mean real fun." And with that, they were gone.
A/N: That last part was stupid. Not exactly funny… but I plan to do something with #2's madness later… ;) Stay tuned for the next part. Includes purple curtains, a sewing machine and several thousand pillows.
-cowers behind another bulletproof wall-
ona