A/N: No school today! Ha-ha! YAY for teacher conferences! (Plus I'm getting all A's and B's and no C's for once so I feel fantastical!)

Hmm…this is NOT the blow ya mind chapter, but I do promise it will be interesting. 

Stan's P.O.V.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Fuck off." He seethed. "Whoever you are, stop calling me and fuck off."

Ring.

Ring.

RING.

"GOD!" he grabbed the phone and was about ready to fling it across the room when the answering machine picked the call up.

"Hello…Stan? It's Ruby, we really need to talk…please, pick up if your there. I can't say this on the answering machine, really."

What the hell was she talking about? A tidal wave of curiosity blew over him and he quickly reached for the phone.

"Ruby? Hey! I was er…in the um…bathroom."

"For two consecutive hours?" she replied coldly.

"Well, you could have left a message, I mean, before this, instead of just calling over and over and over…"

"Why were you in the bathroom for two hours? Did you pick up some chick? Catching up with an old girlfriend in the shower?" Her voice was so stiff and forceful his answer was a scream.

"NO! I mean, it's not like that! I wasn't actually in the bathroom; I just didn't want to pick it up because I thought it was…I don't know. Anyone besides you. I just didn't feel like talking."

Ruby sighed and when she did it sounded wet, like a wet sigh. She must be crying! He didn't want her to be sad like this. Why was he such an asshole? He should have just answered the damn phone.

"Listen honey, I'm sorry! I know I'm being a jerk, it's just, one of my friends brought his fiancée to breakfast this morning, and she was a huge bitch, and I know he deserves better, even though she's really rich, she's not a nice person, and I'm just not in a very good mood. I'm sorry!" He pleaded gently and found himself spilling out the whole horrible story of Cassadi that had been bugging him all day.

But she was sobbing louder now.

"Stan, this is killing me. You didn't do anything, and I'm not crying because you didn't pick up the phone. Really, I couldn't care less; it's the least of our problems."

"What do you mean…?"

"Well, lemme see. How do I say this? Uh…Stan, I'm pregnant."

Well, that was unexpected. Not unexpected like a surprise party, but unexpected like someone with a spiky metal shoe runs up to you and kicks you in the balls. Yeah. Like that, but worse.

"Oh…well, that's not really a bad…thing. I mean, I did always want kids." He started slowly, because if he talked any faster he'd pass out.

Ruby sobbed louder.

"That's the second part…it's not yours."

Uh-Oh. The unexpected kick in the balls again. Well, actually, that might have been kind of a relief, if it hadn't meant she had cheated on him.

"WHAT?"

"I know! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have cheated, but you've been gone for two weeks and I felt lonely."

"You…you…slut!"

"I know I am! Please, I don't want anyone to father my child except you! Honestly, it was a stupid, stupid, stupid mistake!"

Stan had never spoken highly of his girlfriend, not to his friends, his family, anyone. But he had never really believed she had cheated on him…until now.

"You stupid fucking whore. Get out of my apartment before I come all the way back there and beat the shit out of you." If he had been feeling cranky before, nothing matched how he felt now.

Ruby was sobbing, and then the phone went click. She had hung up.

Kyle's P.O.V.

"That's so harsh, I'm sorry Stan, but I thought you wanted to get rid of her?"

"I did, I guess, but not like…like that.

Why would anyone do that to her boyfriend? Or vice-versa, as it was? Kyle knew, no matter what, he would never cheat on anybody. Before, he would have probably never cheated, but know, looking at how hurt Stan's face was, he could never do it.

He reached over and awkwardly patted his friend's head, then regretted it because he felt as if he had been petting a particularly sad dog.

He touched his own hair. It felt kind of greasy. When was the last time he washed it? Ugh. Yesterday morning. At home he washed his hair at least once everyday. And it needed it. His hair was such a vibrant orange-y color that he felt if he left it un-washed for a while it would turn green or something…bleh. This was not easy though. He had quite a lot of hair. All stacked on his head in a kind of fro. It had been that way since he was, oh say, four? And he liked it that way. Cassadi didn't. She said for the wedding (now rapidly approaching) he should cut it, or do something so it doesn't look like he just stepped out of bed. He felt resentful towards that statement. He had never thought his hair was trashy, even if it was in, kind of, a fro. But it was a curly fro. Which was NOT trashy. Never. What did Cassadi know?

Dude, why was he sitting here thinking about his hair? His friend was in need of sympathy and he was not delivering it.

"Hey..." Stan started suddenly. "This could possibly be my worst heartbreak ever! No…not really, I guess. Since, you know, I didn't really love her."

Well, finally something to talk about.

"Is that so?" Kyle offered a small grin, "Then what was your worst heartbreak ever?"

Stan frowned, thinking. The he gave an answer that made Kyle shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"You."

Kyle's grin disappeared instantly.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I could have expected that." He looked at his nails, wishing he had kept to his hair rather then being in this uncomfortable situation.

"Yeah, I still don't get what happened, and why we all of a sudden started to feel like that but all I know is that it was hard, really hard." Stan seemed to have such an easy time talking about this.

"It was a phase, like our mom's said, ok? Now let's talk about something else, shall we?" Kyle snapped. That subject was so sensitive to him, he didn't even resent being so rude to Stan, who had, after all, just had his heart ripped out.

Stan's P.O.V quickie

Stan looked at Kyle, who looked a little angry and decided not to further the conversation. Why hadn't Kyle been this hostile the other night when Stan had basically just all and out called him a hottie? Why was he like this?

Stan continued to study Kyle even though he knew it was making his friend uncomfortable.

"Please stop looking at me like that Stan; I'm not a fricking picture, alright?"

Stan, for some reason, felt like pushing his friend over the edge.

"Oh, but your so lovely young man! You look just like a work of art!

"God damn it Stan!"

"And such lovely hair!"

"AAAH!" That was too much for Kyle. He shoved his friend to the other side of the couch, and hit him with a fancy pillow. Then he marched upstairs to take a shower and wash his hair, which he was sure, was turning green.

A/N: Aw…poor Stan! This story seems like it might go on forever though! I can't bring myself to the point! Oh well, someday! (P.S My co-writer Gina, is M.I.A. on this one so sorry if it seems to be missing something because it is, the co-author.