Again

By Ramsey Anderson

All characters in this fic are property of Squaresoft and were not created by me.

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Chapter 15

I had gathered Irvine, Selphie, and Zell at a table in the Garden cafeteria. I told them everything I knew about the current situation involving Squall. There wasn't much to tell, but there was plenty to discuss.

"So let me get this straight…" Zell stated. "Squall came to your classroom this morning, told you that he was going away somewhere and he tells you that you're taking his place as leader of Balamb Garden."

Zell was dead on. "Yes, that's exactly what happened. Now he's gone." I confirmed.

"Rinoa too. I think they left together." Irvine mentioned.

Rinoa had been missing since Squall had left, so it was quite possible that they had left together. One part of me hoped that she was with Squall, which meant that she was alright and that Squall wouldn't be alone against the dangers of the world. The other part of me hoped that she would show up somewhere in the Garden, which meant that they weren't together, which meant that I still had a chance to get together with Squall. It didn't matter, the situation was beyond my control. There was no use thinking about it.

"Now we don't know that for sure, she may just be around here somewhere, ya know." Selphie responded.

"Doubtful. Let's see, she's been missing since the time Squall left, she didn't answer the announcement that Quistis gave us to meet here, her dorm looks like someone went through and took out a bunch of stuff, and not to mention the success of Squall and Rinoa's date last night, heh heh heh. I mean, they really hit it off, so they could quite possibly-" Zell explained until Selphie jabbed him with her elbow.

"Anyways, what are we going to do now? Are we gonna try and find him or what? I mean, where could he have gone? FH is a harbor town, surrounded by water, the only place he could've gone is either East or West on the train tracks. If we want to look for him, then I think we should do that soon before it's too late to find him." Irvine suggested.

The idea of chasing down Squall went through my thoughts since he had left, but I didn't know where he was going, after all. It was quite possible that he had gone East or West on the train tracks out of FH, but that left me with two very different options. I figured that I could've gotten a couple of people to go East and a couple to go West, but that plan was faulty in several respects. First, Squall had been gone for an hour, which meant that he was far away already. Second, the process would take too long and FH wanted Garden to leave immediately. Thirdly, I had duties as leader of Garden, which unfortunately did not include finding Squall.

"No, we're not going after him. Balamb Garden has to depart from FH as soon as possible." I stated.

"Alright, you're the commander, uh, I mean commanderette." Irvine responded.

I proceeded to the third floor deck where Xu and Nida greeted me. They informed me that the Garden controls were figured and that Nida was the pilot. Cid had already informed the students of Balamb Garden via intercom that I was their new leader. Cid wasn't one to waste time; he announced it very soon after Squall had told him. The students seemed to like me as an instructor, so they were quite comfortable with me in charge. I wasn't too sure if I was comfortable, though. Cid had run me through the duties and responsibilities I was assigned with, but I felt so inexperienced. I wasn't ready for such a burden, but I had no choice. I guess you learn to live with those kinds of things if they're forced upon you.

"Any suggestions on where we should go?" I asked Xu.

"Hey, why don't we go back to Balamb? We don't know what's happened since we left. Besides, Balamb may be Galbadia's next target. It's a harbor town, just like FH."

"Alright, set course for Balamb." I said, attempting to sound authoritative.

"Quistis, were you planning on announcing our departure or should I?" Xu asked.

It hadn't even crossed my mind to announce our departure. Xu knew what to do, where to go. She'd probably make a better leader than me. Oh Squall, why did you do this to me?

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"Hey Selphie, what's been eating Quistis lately?" Zell asked me.

"She's under a lot of pressure with this whole 'becoming a leader' thing."

"Yeah, but I've noticed her acting different since before she became leader. I think there's something up."

"What do you mean?" Irvine asked Zell.

"Haven't you noticed it? She's never really happy any more. And when she does talk, she sounds like Squall before he changed, all quiet and stuff. She kinda seems to have low self-confidence too."

I knew exactly why Quistis was acting the way she did. She had major romantic feelings for Squall, but he was taken by Rinoa. It was tearing her apart and I couldn't do anything to help her except listen whenever she felt like talking. I didn't want to tell this to Zell and Irvine because it was a very private issue. Sure, I wanted to tell them, to finally have something worth gossiping about, but Quistis trusted me and I wouldn't betray that trust for any amount of gossip.

Men had a hard time figuring out women's emotions, so it was kind of a surprise to me when Zell and Irvine voiced their concerns for Quistis. If her problems were obvious enough to catch two guys' attention, then Quistis' depression must've been really bad, I thought. I had nothing else to do anyways, so I decided to pay Quistis a visit. I figured she was on the third floor deck. As a concerned friend, I made my way up.

When I reached the command room, I asked Quistis if I could have a word with her in private. We descended the elevator to Cid's old office. I said, "So Quistis, how are you doing?"

"I'm kinda stressed, but I'll pull through."

"I meant, how are you doing, Squall-wise?"

"Oh…well, I still have feelings for him, if that's what you mean."

"More feeling or less feeling since last night?"

"…More…"

"Honey, you've gotta let him go. I hate to be the one to tell it to you, but he's literally run off with Rinoa. If I were you, I'd try to forget about him, at least in the romantic sense."

"I'm in love with him!!" Quistis shouted. "I can't just give up that easily!"

It suddenly occurred to me that Quistis had never actually told me why she loved, or at least thought that she loved, Squall. I figured that it was quite an important factor, so I had to ask. "Tell me, why do you love him? Specifically."

Quistis sighed and half-rolled her eyes, as if it was obvious why she loved him. Before she spoke, her face froze, seemingly thinking about my question and not knowing the answer off-hand. I spoke before she answered. "Was there ever any real special moment between you two that you'll never forget? Has he ever told you something that really made your heart sing?"

"Actually, we had a very sweet moment in the training room's 'secret area' on the night I decided to quit being an instructor. He was very supportive of my decision and I found that very sweet…"

I continued to dig. "What else?"

"Well, he's very sweet to his friends, like when Zell accidentally mentioned Balamb Garden during the incident with Vinzer Deling, Squall comforted him. I found that very admirable."

"What else?"

"Isn't that enough? It's hard to find friendly guys that are strong and supportive out there, you know."

Isn't that the truth? If she were wrong, then no one would be single. I still couldn't understand why Quistis loved Squall. I sensed that there was something more to her feelings. I had to know, "I still don't get it."

"I'm worried about him, that's for sure. I don't know where he is, he could be in danger as we speak. Also, when he went to the missile base by himself, I was worried like crazy. And when we found him in the torture room, I knew that my feelings were real…"

"You know, it doesn't really sound like you're…romantically interested in him. It actually, to me anyways, sounds more like…I dunno, 'sister-like' feelings for him. I mean, you have known him for a long time, right? You've always protected him and taught him over the years, worried about him, tried to get him to open up. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what you feel."

"…Sister-like feelings? Wha, no, that can't be it…Listen, I've got things to do. Sorry, but we'll talk later or something. Be ready when we get to Balamb, okay?"

I'd done good, I had said something that made her think. The way she suddenly left the room, it was clear that she thought that there might be some truth to the whole 'sister-like' feelings theory. My work was done, I'd started the thought process and she would consider my opinion.

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I couldn't believe that Selphie had told me that my feelings for Squall were simply sisterly concerns and not romantic love. Sure, I hadn't decided if I loved Squall or not, but I knew for sure that I wasn't just feeling like his sibling or whatever. I ignored her implication and returned to my post.

It took about half an hour to reach the town of Balamb. We were there to simply see what was happening and if the sorceress had gotten there yet. It was obvious that she was there when we saw that Galbadia Garden was parked next to Balamb. It was quite a shock to see that Galbadia had found out how to move around in such a short amount of time. I couldn't figure out how they discovered that Gardens were mobile, but the fact was that Galbadia Garden had been residing next to Balamb.

After landing Balamb Garden near the town of Balamb, I gathered Irvine, Zell, and Selphie to the front gate. I informed them of our course of action and we approached the town. Normally Balamb was a peaceful, get-to-know-your-neighbors kind of town, but things clearly changed when Galbadia Garden had taken over. Balamb couldn't possibly fight against them; Edea had an entire army under her command and wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. I assumed that what Edea wanted was the takeover of all towns small and large, or even world domination as far as I was concerned.

The entrance to Balamb was blocked by a parked Galbadian vehicle and one guard posted next to it. I approached the lone soldier and stated, "Hello. I am Quistis Trepe, the leader of Balamb Garden, and I would like to speak with whoever is in charge here."

"Sorry lady, I have been instructed not to let anyone in. No exceptions."

"This is an urgent matter, I need to speak to him immediately." I lied; I was improvising my conversation with the soldier. I figured that I would convince the soldier to let us through, then find the commander and go from there. The soldier was hard to convince, however.

"Forget it, now get lost! You're lucky I'm not reporting this to the commander."

I led the other three of my teammates around the corner to discuss the situation. Zell was apparently confused and agitated. "Wait, we're not just giving up, are we!?"

The thought of giving up had crossed my mind, but I kept thinking about what Squall would have done. He would have thought of something; he wouldn't give up so easily. "No, we're not giving up. Balamb is being overrun by the Galbadians; we can't let this continue. Okay, let's come up with a plan to get through."

It didn't take but one minute before Irvine came up with a plan. I had to admit that the plan sounded decent. After making sure that everyone understood what we were doing, Irvine walked towards the guard while the rest of us remained out of sight. We were all close enough so that we could hear everything that was happening.

Irvine said to the guard, "Hey, this is a nice car…"

The soldier replied proudly, "Yeah, they're really expensi-" The sound of glass breaking ended the conversation as Irvine had slammed the butt of his gun into the vehicle's headlight. The soldier shouted, "Hey!! What do you think you're doing!?"

A gunshot was heard as I found out later that Irvine had fired a shot into the front windshield of the car. Irvine came sprinting past us and onwards towards Balamb Garden, shortly followed by the shouting Galbadian soldier. Irvine was faster and had more stamina than the guard, so he made it to Balamb Garden long before the guard ran out of breath and gave up. By the time he came back, Selphie, Zell, and I had casually entered Balamb.

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"Rinoa, what made you decide to come with me?"

"After you told me what you told me last night, I started to think…about how everything you said kinda fit. No one ever could figure out how you knew the things you knew. It almost seemed like you knew what was going to happen, and then you tell me that you did know what was going to happen. I couldn't deny it; you had to be telling the truth."

Faithful Rinoa, never doubting me.

"What if I had been lying? I mean, you put your whole life behind you when you chose to come with me. You didn't know what to expect, you didn't know if I was telling you the truth. I mean, it's hard to believe such a strange story."

"…After last night, the way we kissed, I knew that you couldn't have been lying. You'd have to be a really good liar if you could fake that kiss."

On one hand, the love of my life loved me in return; the best feeling a person can ever experience in their life. On the other hand, the known future lay before us, certain to make me and my love suffer. There was always a catch to happiness. For everything good that happens, something equally bad has to happen. The sad, terrible truth.

"Tell me the whole story. I wanna know everything that's happened to you. I mean, who knows, maybe a second opinion will be good for you!"

"It's a long story."

"Look ahead of us; it's gonna be several hours before we reach the end of the tracks. C'mon, please? I really really really really wanna hear it!"

"Good point. Okay, I guess it all started with me and Seifer fighting outside Balamb Garden…"

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After wandering all over Balamb and talking to just about everyone and their dog, we'd found the captain. Rajin, one of Seifer's cronies, was the captain of the operation in Balamb. I needed to talk to him, to find out what the Galbadians were doing in Balamb and what their next course of action was. Balamb Garden acted as a sort of rebellion against Galbadia, which meant that we had responsibilities, which included protecting towns such as Balamb from their devious plans.

We chased Rajin to the Balamb Inn, where we were confronted by a couple of soldiers. One of them warned, "Hey, you! Stand back. This could be dangerous! The commander's just about to…"

Rajin's voice was heard from inside the Inn, being yelled at by Fujin, who was apparently the commander of the operation. Rajin, the captain, emerged from the double doors and asked the two soldiers for assistance with taking care of Fujin. He noticed us and shouted, "Wooooow! What are you guys doin' here!?"

Zell had been upset at Rajin invading his hometown. Zell shouted back, "We're here to liberate Balamb, ya know!? ...I mean...uhh... We're here to liberate Balamb!"

Selphie, Zell, and I drew our weapons in preparation of the certain upcoming battle. I attempted to avoid the fight. "Rajin, what are you doing in Balamb? Tell me, what is the sorceress trying to achieve?"

"Hah! I'll never talk, ya know!"

Zell responded loudly, "Alright, then let's do this!"

Zell ran up to the soldier nearest to him and began his attack. Selphie, figuring that the battle had begun, swung her nunchaku at the other Galbadian soldier, which was quickly blocked by his sword. I kept my eye on Rajin, who seemed to have stepped back to watch the fight. He most likely thought that we wouldn't have been able to defeat the soldiers, much less himself.

Zell seemed to be winning the fight with his soldier, while Selphie couldn't land a hit on her opponent. I pulled out my whip and struck the soldier's shin, making him fall to one knee. Selphie immediately slammed her oversized nunchaku into the side of the soldier's head, knocking him to the ground. The still-conscious troop looked up just in time to see a Selphie's weapon hit him in the face, putting him out cold.

We both looked over at Zell, who was spinning his soldier around and then throwing him to the pavement fiercely. Zell turned his furious gaze to Rajin and ran at him, attempting to tackle him. Rajin's reflexes kicked in and he was able to move out of the way and cast a Thundara spell as Zell whizzed past him. A large thunderbolt fell from the sky and struck Zell, making him fall to the ground. Selphie immediately ran to Zell's body while I stepped back to cast a Fira spell. Rajin began running quickly towards me in hopes of stopping my attack, but he was too late; a large plume of fire scorched Rajin, who was amazingly able to continue running at me. Ferocity raging in his eyes, Rajin rushed me and my body fell face-first to the concrete. The skin on my face, hands, and knees scraped against the hot ground as I winced at the horrible pain. I knew that I had to stop concentrating on the pain if I was to heal myself. My mind disconnected the pain and I cast a Cura spell on my injured body.

Feeling for the most part rejuvenated, I stood up with anger swelling inside of me, ready to give Rajin what he had coming to him. In the time it had taken me to cure myself, Zell and Selphie had begun fighting Rajin themselves. Rajin prepared a magic spell but was interrupted by Zell kicking him on the left side of his jaw. The attack caused Rajin to spin around to meet Selphie, who spun her nunchaku into the right side of his jaw, spinning him back to Zell. Rajin surprised Zell with his unbelievably quick thinking by slamming his staff at high speed into Zell's face. Still spinning, Rajin turned and casted a Thundara spell on Selphie.

Rajin was a juggernaut, relentless and unfeeling. His years of being on the disciplinary committee gave him the physical strength of a bison and the reflexes of a cat. He could take damage in battle without withering his performance whatsoever. Yet he, like everyone else on the planet, had a weakness. I had known Rajin for years at Balamb Garden, and I had figured at least one thing out: Rajin had a huge ego, his fatal flaw.

Rajin laughed and shouted at Selphie and Zell as they struggled to get up. "Hahaha!! See, you can never defeat me, ya know!! You have to think quick and show no mercy. You gotta know where your opponents are and what they are doing at all times, ya know."

I uncoiled my whip, wrapped it around Rajin's right leg and pulled as hard as my will allowed. This sent the gloating Rajin to the ground, flat on his face. With much force, I put my foot on the back of his neck, signaling his defeat. Zell and Selphie would have praised me if they hadn't been healing themselves at the moment.

I asked nicely, "What's Galbadia doing in Balamb?"

"You think I'm gonna tell you, instructor?"

Selphie approached and wrapped the chain linking the two sticks of her nunchaku around Rajin's neck, choking him. Selphie spoke menacingly, "Maybe you'll tell me, ya know?"

"Okay, okay!! I'll tell, ya know!" Rajin coughed out. "We're looking for some girl named Ellone. Sorceress Edea is looking all over the world for her. Don't ask me why, because I don't know!!"

I continued to interrogate, "Who does know?"

"I don't know, maybe Fujin knows! Go ask her, she's at the Inn, ya know!"

Of course Fujin was there; whenever Rajin was around, Fujin couldn't have been very far. Fujin was the brains of the group, yet she was just as strong as Rajin and Seifer. Zell angrily ran from us into the Inn.

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I had been pissed since I had gotten to Balamb and seen that Galbadia had intruded. I had lived in Balamb for most of my life and had loved it there. I had so many friends there, my Ma lived there, it was my home. Anybody would be angry if their beloved hometown had been taken over my a ruthless government. I ran inside the Inn to see Fujin, the silver-haired, rarely-speaking, one-eyed commander. I had never really cared for Rajin or Fujin since they were so tight with Seifer, my mortal enemy. We had never actually fought, but there was a first time for everything.

I shouted, "So I guess you're the commander! Pack your bags and get the hell outta Balamb!"

Quistis and Selphie had followed me inside and were now standing to both sides of me, ready to fight. The battle looked like it would be easy until Rajin burst through the double doors and stood next to Fujin.

"I'm not gonna let you get away with what you did, ya know."

All five of us stood in our fighting positions, staring each other down, waiting for someone to attack. Rajin began by running up to Quistis with his staff high in the air. I had my sights on Fujin all along, so I sprinted over to her and begun my attack run. I started with a high punch, followed by a low kick, both of which were blocked. I kept attacking quickly, never letting Fujin attack.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Selphie on my right as she twirled her large nunchaku at Fujin. I stopped attacking and ducked under Selphie's attack. Fujin blocked it with her handheld circular spiked Zan weapon. Selphie and I continued to attack, but with no luck; Fujin blocked every one of our attacks perfectly. Eventually, Selphie was slashed across the chest and I was immediately kicked backwards. Fujin quickly casted an Aero spell on me, which caused a sharp, focused wind to take pieces of the floor and hurl them at my body from below at high speed. I attempted to ignore the pain and retained my balance. I was about to run up to Fujin until Rajin's staff met my lungs. He had come from my left, seemingly out of nowhere and had taken my breath. I fell to my knees and coughed for air.

The next time I looked up, Selphie was on the floor to my right and Quistis was to my left, both of them knocked down my the powerful duo. I suddenly felt a strong wind and I quickly realized that Fujin had casted a Tornado spell, a powerful wind magic. The mighty wind caused me and my friends to spin around the room, smashing into the walls and furniture, eventually landing hard on the tile floor. I'd felt like we had lost; we were in a lot of pain and were unable to continue fighting.

That was, until Rajin spoke up. "Hah! You think you're all big and bad, ya know! Trying to tell us to get out of Balamb, telling us how to do our jobs, ya know! Hahahahaha!! Ya know what? I think we should stay here a little longer, oh and Zell, doesn't your Mom live here somewhere?"

Rajin's words angered me more than I could've imagined. He wanted to stay in Balamb and he was threatening my Ma. I had lost against Rajin because of my blind anger. I hadn't thought things through and Rajin took advantage of my rage. I figured then that I should've learned from my mistakes, but it was hard to quiet the urge to get Rajin for what he had said.

The pain seemed to wash away and I stood up. I began walking towards Rajin, trying not to think things through, the only thing that could've stopped me then. When I approached him, he swung his staff at my head, which was the beginning of the end for Rajin. I ducked under his attack and in the blink of an eye, I jabbed him three times in the gut. This caused him to bend over in pain, which I took advantage of by slamming my knee into his nose. I continued to attack in a frenzy of punches and kicks all over Rajin's body, never giving him a chance to attack, if he could have done so that is. I found out later that Fujin had been preoccupied by Quistis and Selphie, which meant that Rajin didn't stand a chance. Finally realizing that I had beaten all of the fight out of him, I stopped my seemingly endless beat rush. He had enough energy to keep his balance, however wobbly, which meant I had to finish him off. I grabbed Rajin by the face and slammed his head onto the floor below.

Before I relaxed, I turned to Fujin and the others and decided to put an end to the fight. I yelled, "Get out of my town!!"

I casted a powerful Thundaga spell onto Fujin. Selphie and Quistis stepped back as a large lightning bolt came from above and struck Fujin, huge bolts of electricity flying every which way. She collapsed to the ground and said, "DEFEATED…"

Selphie, Quistis and I loomed over the two battered and bruised fighters, my anger slowly fading away as they were at our mercy. I coldly demanded, "You're gonna get out of Balamb and take your army with you. And I'm never going to see you around here again."

Fujin replied, "AFFIRMATIVE."

Quistis, the leader, needed to extract some information first. She asked, "Who is Ellone and why is Edea invading towns all over the world to find her?"

Fujin turned to Rajin. "EXPLAIN."

"Alright, alright, I knew all along, ya know. See, this Ellone has some kind of special ability. Like, I don't know what it is, but it must be really important if Edea is looking this hard for her, ya know. She won't tell us why she wants it or how she plans to use it, but she won't stop, ya know. She won't stop until she finds her, ya know."

Quistis responded, "So you two are taking orders from the sorceress?"

"NEGATIVE."

"The sorceress has nothin' to do with us, ya know!? We're actin' on our own! We're on Seifer's side, ya know!" Rajin mentioned. "Seifer has a lot of followers, but we're his only friends...we're a posse, ya know...? The Galbadian soldiers are only listening to Seifer 'cause they fear the sorceress. Without us, Seifer wouldn't have a posse, ya know...?"

I never did like Seifer, so I commanded Rajin and Fujin. "If you guys stand behind him that much...tell frickin' Seifer to stop this nonsense!"

"AFIRMATIVE."

Rajin added, "We ain't no sell-outs! We're behind Seifer all the way, ya know!?"

Quistis informed them, "Alright, if you want nothing to do with Balamb Garden, then that's up to you. Sorry to say this, but the next time we meet, we won't hold back."

Squall would have said it differently, more intimidating, but Quistis was still new at the whole leader thing, so I decided to not say anything about it. Rajin and Fujin got up and left, and within the hour the Galbadian army retreated back to their Garden and sailed away. Though I hated to admit it, what Rajin and Fujin had said touched me on some level. Even though Seifer was becoming even more of a jerk and siding with an evil sorceress, they still stayed beside him for the sake of friendship. I realized that I felt the same way about Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, and Squall. Almost like we had been friends for a really long time or something.

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As we walked along the train tracks, I told Rinoa the entire story of my 'repeating time adventure' as I called it. I told her everything that I had told her the night before, but in even more detail. Rinoa would ask questions now and then, about the details involving a certain event or how I felt during that time. We held hands the entire time, which was quite a while since the story took so much time to tell. I tried not to tell Rinoa too much about her near-death experience in space, figuring that she might not have been ready to hear such a terrible thing. Maybe it was that I felt that by telling her about it, I would have been ensuring the repetition of the event later on.

I felt a connection with Rinoa like I had never felt with another person before. Even when I was young, at the orphanage, when I adored Ellone so much, it still didn't compare to my feelings for Rinoa. It was there, walking along the train tracks while the sun set over the horizon that I began to think of our future. Loving someone meant that you could picture yourself living happily with them in the future. Thinking of it made me delirious, imagining a life with Rinoa; how we would eventually move to a small town, get our own house, maybe even raise a few chocobos, have children…it made me so happy, yet the worry of the dreaded future remained ahead, one that could destroy my life with Rinoa and take away my delirious happiness.

Rinoa asked a very valid question, "There's something I don't understand. Before we left, you said that if this course continues, my life would be in danger. But you said that I lived through that near-death experience. So really, even if the course of your adventure continues the way it did last time, wouldn't I still live? If I do, then what are we doing going to Esthar and all?"

I'd thought of the answer long before she even thought about asking the question. "You see, some things have changed this time around. Instead of doing the train mission with you and the others before I reached Timber, I went with Ellone on her ship and never did that mission. The Galbadian missile base never exploded, I never fought Edea, and I kissed you last night. I don't know what can change and what cannot. I can't take the risk of you-" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"What are we going to find in Esthar?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I guess we'll look for Dr. Odine or Laguna. I'm sure that they'll be able to help somehow."

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"So where are we going now?" Irvine asked.

"Hello, s'cuse me!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Yes, Selphie?" I asked.

"Have you decided on a destination?"

"Not yet."

"Um...can we maybe go to Trabia Garden? It's like...in the mountains, so maybe the sorceress will leave it alone...but maybe...you know?"

It was a better idea than I could think of right away. I'd figured that Selphie wanted to see Trabia, or at least what was left of it after the missile launch. I was still a tad bit angry with Selphie for suggesting that I had 'sister-like' feelings for Squall, but I wasn't so heartless as to keep Selphie from seeing her hometown. I felt that as a leader, I was doing the wrong thing by going to Trabia, that I should've been thinking more logically instead of emotionally. I guess I figured that Squall would have been doing things differently. Nevertheless, I instructed Nida to go North to Trabia Garden.