PART FIVE: (From Dawn's POV).

I placed the last of the plates on the table, then looked hopefully out the window. Connor and Buffy weren't back yet and I was beginning to get worried. Angel's dead and Buffy's bound to have a meltdown anytime soon if she hasn't had one already.

Willow seemed upset on the phone and promised to pass on the news to the others. But I can't help but think that she was partly pleased that Angel was dead. Maybe, I'm imagining it. God, I hope I am. Buffy will not be able to handle her friends being against her right now.

Knock, knock.

"Finally…" I ran from the dining room and to the front door. "Connor, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me and I have Buffy."

"Thank God you found her." I said pulling open the door. "I was getting worried."

Connor led Buffy into the house, my sister looked awful. "She got a little drunk."

"Buffy? Drunk?"

"Only a little." Buffy said, "I could have drunken a lot more, but the guy put the moves on me."

"Huh?"

"Not sure." Replied Connor. "Where should I put her?"

"In the living room for moment, I guess. I hope she doesn't have a hang-over when the Gang gets here tomorrow."

Connor's eyes darkened, but he didn't say anything, just held on to Buffy and he walked her into the living room. I slowly followed them, trying to think of any way to help Buffy and/or Connor.

"Here, Buffy, sit down."

"Why for?" mumbled Buffy as she fell face-down onto the lounge. "I don't want to sit down."

"No, but you'll lie down." I said, I'm so sorry, Buffy. "We'll leave her here while we have some dinner, okay?"

"Sure, I need to talk to you alone anyway." Said Connor, he walked out of the room without looking back.

I grabbed one of the throw blankets and placed it over Buffy, she was talking incoherently and I didn't catch any of it.

"I'm so sorry." I then also left the living room and went into the dining room where Connor was pacing along side he long table. "What's wrong?"

"She doesn't want to see them yet."

"Who?"

"Her friends. She doesn't want to deal with them, so you'll have to ring them back and tell them not to come."

"What? She needs them here! They are her friends, you don't even know them, I do. She needs them here. An-Angel's dead." I started crying, "she-she needs them he-here."

Connor sighed, "I'm sorry that you're hurting. I haven't really been thinking about you in all this. You might need them here, but Buffy can't have them here right now. She'll freak."

I nodded and turned away using the table as support. The tears continued to fall from my eyes. It hurt that Connor didn't come to comfort me, damn it! Stop being selfish, he wasn't – isn't – your soulmate. You need to focus on Buffy here, focus on Buffy, not on –

"Connor…" I spun around. Connor was leaning against the world, hunched over shaking from silently crying. "Oh…crap." I ran towards him and stood nervously next to him. "Are you okay? No, you're not. Can I do anything?"

He didn't answer, just kept crying silently.

"Here, sit down." I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him back against the wall, then practically force him to sit on the ground. "I'm sorry." I apologize sitting next to him, also leaning against the wall. "We were both thinking about only two people. Me: myself and Buffy, you: yourself and Buffy…and Buffy, well, I don't think she can form an actual thought that can be called a thought at the moment."

Connor calmed down and wiped the tears from his face with the back of his sleeve. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know you, Buffy or any of your friends, we all lost someone close to us and have at one point helped to save the world, but that's where any similarities end."

"I know. But…we are in this together whether we have anything in common or not. We lost Angel, that's a big thing to have in common."

"Your friends, do they like my dad?"

"That's an incredibly long and frustrating story. Half of me doesn't know when to begin, and the other doesn't want to start."

He laughed. "I want to hear it, from you, someone who was there seeing everything because no one was seeing you."

"That's an odd thing to say."

"Angel told me to ask you stuff as well in my letter." He confessed.

"He wrote about me?" I asked, touched that he'd even consider me in his goodbyes.

"Yeah, like a typical dad, told me to look after the two most important women in his life that are alive."

"Really?"

"You and Buffy were pretty important to him, it's not hard to see why. When this is all over, can we still keep in touch?"

"I'd like that. Buffy will need a link to him, she'd like it." We could almost be family in some weird twisted way, I thought. He's the son of my sister's soulmate, for once I wish something completely normal could happen, no supernatural stuff for at least a week.

"Maybe, we'll see what happens."

"Connor, could you tell me about you first, I read Buffy's letter – don't start on how wrong that is, 'cause I know – but I'd like to hear it from you."

"Sure, why not. But when the others get here, I'm only gonna say it once, got it?" he said with a hint of a smile. I didn't smile on the outside, but a part of me was happy that we could still smile considering the circumstances.

"I can't promise that Giles won't ask you to repeat it at every chance and maybe get you to write it down, but, okay."

The story that followed…I wasn't ready for it. Does Buffy know it is this detail? If so, how does she handle it, the jealousy, the pain, the regret and not having what Angel did, not having it with him? Maybe she is stronger than even I realise.

(page break)

I leaned over my sister and bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. She was snoring, something I'd never seen – well, heard – her do before. Must be a drunk thing. Connor was standing beside me, also looking at Buffy. He told me his long story, it took nearly an hour, and now we were going to move Buffy up into her room, then I had to ring Willow, Xander and Giles to tell them not to come for a while, something I don't feel like doing.

"Should we move her?" I asked, "she seems peaceful."

"Wasted is not peaceful," said Connor. "It would be better if she woke up in her own bed, wouldn't it?"

"I guess. Okay, you carry her and I'll go make her bed ready."

Connor nodded and went to pick Buffy up. I turned and ran quickly up the stairs and into Buffy's room. She had the largest bedroom in the house, it was quite beautiful. A huge canopy bed was pushed against the right wall, with a bedside table on each side. I walked around the lounge that was placed at the end of the bed, we call it the comfy lounge, it is the most comfortable lounge in the house, and for some totally unfair reason the lounge is in Buffy's room.

Once I got to the top of the bed, I pulled down the covers and the sheet, propped the pillow and turned to see Connor carrying Buffy into the room, looking very 'crossing the threshold.' Eww, in different circumstances, Buffy could be Connor's mother!

"Here," I reached out to help, and it occurred to me that I really couldn't do anything till she was on the bed, so I let me arm fall to my side. Most unexpectedly, I got a sudden feeling of helplessness.

Connor put Buffy gently onto the bed, I snapped out of my reverie and pulled the covers over her body and up to her shoulders. I nodded my head and turned to go, Connor was sitting on the comfy lounge, starring into oblivion.

Damn it, I hate this! I want to pick something up and throw it, I want to kick the shit out of some demon, I want to do something to get it out of me. What? What out of me? I don't know, this is so different from when Mom died, even from when Tara died, or Anya and even Spike. I don't know what it really is, because I cared – care – about Angel a lot too. Is it different every time?

"I would ask if you were okay, but you're not."

"Thanks for kinda asking anyway."

"I hate this." I said sitting down next to him, this lounge is really comfy. "But it keeps happening, people keep on dying and leaving…" I sighed, "I just hate it."

"Yeah. It does suck."

I laughed a bit, I know he wasn't trying to be funny, but I needed to laugh at the absurdity of this whole thing. Angel wasn't - isn't – one to stay down, he has come back so many times, okay only a couple, but he's like Buffy when it came to dying, they came back.

Connor smiled and got to his feet, I've got to call my parents. They don't know that I'm here and I should probably tell them that I won't be coming back for a while-"

"You know, you don't have to stay."

"I do. No one knows him in the States, his friends are all dead. You and Buffy, and maybe the others are all that's left. No use grieving with people who don't really care."

"I'm sure your parents would care."

"They don't know, I'm not really their son. I couldn't tell them, I don't want to. I hate lying, it's new for me, but I have to."

"I know what that feels like."

"So, I'll go ring them." He started walking out of the room, then stopped and turned back, "Have you rung the others yet?"

"No," I shook my head. "Not yet."

"I'll be quick then." He turned and walked out of the room. I got up from the comfy lounge and looked at Buffy as she slept.

She looked peaceful, but then again, it could be because she's off her face with drunkenness. I wonder if she's dreaming, or if they're nightmares. I once heard Buffy telling Willow not long after she came back from her AWOL session in LA, that she was having dreams with Angel in them and this was before he came back from Hell. Back then, I found it terribly romantic and sad, now I wish she was having one of those dreams right now.

"I hope you have nice dreams, you deserve them, Buffy. More than anyone else."

TBC...
Sorry for the long wait, hope you guys liked it though and you know the drill: read and review, luv Maddy.