Chapter Four: The Best Part Of Believe Is The Lie

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears and put them on ice
'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

I opened my window and glared at him.

"What do you want Jay?" I sighed.

"Can I come in?" he asked. He couldn't see Danica's crib from where he was.

"No, you can't."

"Will you come out here then?"

"Why?" I asked. I was getting annoyed.

"Emma, I want to talk to you. Why won't you just talk to me?" he asked. He raised his voice so much that Danica started to cry. Great.

"I gotta go," I said, trying to close the window. But he put his arm in the way.

"Is that a baby crying?" he asked. "Whose baby is that?"

"If you must know, it's my cousin okay?" I said, trying to force the window shut.

"Oh. Well, I guess you better go then," he let the window swing shut and stood up. I walked over to Dani and picked her up. I put her up on her changing table to change her diaper when I heard feet hit the floor. And Jay walked over to me.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked a little too loudly. Danica started to cry again.

"I only wanna talk. That's all," Jay answered. He's too persistent. I didn't say a word, just continued to change Dani's diaper. Jay watched me the entire time. "So why is your cousin's crib down here in your room?" he asked.

"My aunt had to go work overseas for a year and she asked me to watch her if she paid me," I lied.

"It must suck having to raise someone else's kid," he commented.

"It's not so bad." This lying thing was pretty easy.

'Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it

"Emma, I just want to talk. Did you get my letter while you were gone?" he asked.

"No, I didn't," I lied. Of course I got his letter. It made me cry. It was currently folded up under my pillow. I still didn't know what to do about it.

"Oh." His face fell. I could tell he was upset. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," he said.

"Jay, you gave me an STD. I don't think sorry's gonna fix that," I told him. I picked Danica up and rocked her until she started to fall asleep.

"I really care about you Emma. I always have. The only thing I can do is apologize and hope you'll forgive me."

"Look, I cared about you too. But everything changed. How would I even know you cared for me when you were doing the same thing with any girl at the ravine, especially Amy?" I said, raising my voice. Dani's eyes flew open and she was about to cry.

"Can I hold her?" Jay asked.

"I guess." I reluctantly handed her over and she didn't cry.

"I shouldn't have messed around with any of the other girls. And I'm sorry for that. I wanted to be with only you, and I still do." I took my daughter from his arms and placed her back in her crib.

"It's too late for that Jay. Way too late."

We're the lifers here till the bitter end
Condemned from the start
Ashamed of the way
The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts

"Can we at least be friends?" he asked.

"I don't know. I really don't," I said. "I'm not sure I can do that."

"Please just give me a second chance Em," he begged.

"I'll have to really thing about it," I told him.

"I can always help with the baby if you need it," he suggested. "That could my first attempt to make it up to you."

"Maybe."

'Cause I'll keep singing this lie
I'll keep singing this lie

"Well I guess I better go and let you get back to your homework," he said, eyeing my books on my bed.

"Yeah that's a good idea." I followed him to the window just to make sure he actually left. He climbed out and turned around, crouching down.

"Your cousin sure does look a lot like you," he said, letting the door swing shut and walking away.

The best part of "Believe" is the "Lie"
I hope you sing along and you steal a line
I need to keep you like this in my mind
So give in or just give up

At dinner, all I could do was think about what Jay said. Does he know? He's got to know. It's not that hard to figure out. I just didn't think it would be this soon when someone did. I pushed my food around with my fork; unable to eat.

"Emma, is everything alright?" my dad asked me after about ten minutes.

"Yeah Dad, I'm fine," I lied. I forced myself to put on a fake smile and eat about half of my food. "Can I be excused?" I asked when I had eaten all I could.

"Sure honey. Just put your dish in the sink," Mom said. I put my plate away and went down to my room. I still couldn't get Jay off my mind. What's wrong with me? I checked on Danica and she was still sleeping. I flopped down on my bed and pulled the letter out from under my pillow. I read it for probably the hundredth time.

Dear Emma,

First off, let me say that I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant for any of it to happen at all. If I could take it all back, I would. But I can't, so I have to hope that you'll forgive me. Please forgive me? I really care about you Emma. This might sound scary to you (it sure scares me) but I think I'm falling in love with you. I don't know if you're ever coming back, but I hope you will. I can't bear to think about living without you. Even if the only way I can see you is to pass by your house and hope you're outside, then so be it. I'm taking a year off before University next year, so I hope that maybe you'll be back then. Please, please come back Emma. I need you. I really do.

Love,
Jay

I quickly folded the letter back up. He doesn't love me. Does he? When I got mixed up in all of that stuff down at the ravine, I found myself having feelings for Jay. Even after I found out he gave me an STD. But then I found out I was pregnant and I knew I had to get away. Being away from Jay for so long has made my feelings die down a little. But I know that I love Oliver. I just never told him. And I can't love two people at the same time, can I? No, I can't.

I don't even know if I can bring myself to just be friends with Jay. It seems like it would be too hard. I know that I hurt worse with each passing day that I don't tell Oliver my true feelings. I don't want to hurt anymore.

I decided to call Manny because I promised that I would, and I also knew she could hold a grudge. After two rings, she picked up.

"Hey Manny, it's me," I said into the phone.

"Oh Emma I'm so glad you called! There's something that I have to tell you!" she squealed. Good old Manny. Some things never change.

"What is it?" I asked. It better be good. Sometimes she gets so worked up over the smallest things.

"Craig and I are getting married!"

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears and put them on ice
'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

A/N: The lyrics are from the song "Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year" by Fall Out Boy…they own it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This is the most reviews I've gotten on any story. I better write the chapters faster then!