CHAPTER 10: What's The Worst That I Could Say?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sigh, well, this is it, my lovelies! The last chapter. I want to say, thanks again for sticking with me and my never ending suspense of what the hell is going on and what the hell is going to happen. I have to admit, I'm a little teary eyed right now. This has been a pretty intense labor of love for me...not to mention this chapter is pretty friggin sad. Anyway, enjoy it and again thank you for the reviews, the emails, and just simply reading it!
Kei's eyesight was a little better. Everything was very blurry and greyish, but he could make out shapes and made it around the house with a little help. This help came in the surprising form of Feryn, who was quick to assist him around corners, furniture and people. But that still left him useless in a fight. And very bitter because of it. Mannen, Hajime and Shin avoided him as much as possible, especially in the morning before his coffee.
The entire house was tense because of this, no one speaking much. Mannen did a good job of keeping Hajime and Shin in line, quick to shout at them for even talking about using their leafe. Himeno trained harder than ever with Feryn, gritting her teeth and ignoring the sharply yelled French (she'd learned that retarde was the same in English as it was in French, and had decked him out for calling her it one day.) until she could draw on his leafe almost as easily as the other knights. And he kept pestering her about Yayoi at THE MOST inopportune times! Such as when Hayate and Sasame were both training with them. She'd not only gotten blasted by a sudden burst of sound, but then a wind lash came from her other side and she ended up sandwiched between the two. She'd unpreted, relearning how to breath with Hayate at her back, trying to get her to take deep, slow breaths. Then she shouted at Feryn for being such a perverted idiot. She stopped yelling when she saw Feryn had been hurt, having shielded her from both attacks at once. Himeno begrudgingly thanked him, after Hayate made it a point to do so himself. It did little to make the French knight's mood improve. Until Himeno called Yayoi to come over for dinner. THAT had gotten him to positively glow!
And she noticed something was wrong with Sasame. He looked exhausted, wasn't listening if someone was talking to him for more than three sentences. It couldn't all be from training, since he was busy with his radio show and something else, something he was keeping secret. And he flinched any time Takako touched him or kissed him. It wasn't very noticeable, and Takako seemed oblivious to it, but Himeno had seen it once and was confused by it. Himeno sighed and then hissed when Hayate rubbed a cut with antiseptic.
He glanced up at her before going back to what he was doing. People at school were noticing that she was sporting a few more bruises than usual, but she ignored the stares. She could ignore the pain, too. She had to be stronger! If whatever it was spread to the last knights...Hayate...It scared her to think of him in Kei's state. Or to do what Goh did. She couldn't let that happen to another knight, not while she could stop it!
"Maybe we should take a break," Hayate suggested softly, carefully putting a bandaid over the little cut on her knee.
"No, I'm alright," she said, forcing a smile.
"Himeno-,"
"Really, it's alright, Hayate! Just a few minor scrapes." She gaped at him when his hand brushed her cheek, thumb wiping away a smudge of dirt.
"I want you to take a break. You need to rest," he said softly. He looked so...so worried about her.
"Hayate..." She covered his hand with her own, closing her eyes. He really was so nice...when he wasn't stealing her damn pillow!
"Listen, if...if my leafe turns and you can't control it, there is one way you can save-,"
"NO!" She opened her eyes and felt the tears stinging close to falling. She knew what he was telling her. He was telling her to kill him if she couldn't control his leafe.
Hayate blinked and looked away, a single tear falling down his cheek. "Himeno, if it means knowing everyone is safe, I'm begging you not to hesitate. The leafe of wind will only last as long as I do. Promise me. Please, promise me you'll protect yourself."
Himeno broke down into tears and hugged him close. "I'm not making such a stupid promise! I WILL NOT be beaten by this, and neither will you!"
He hesitated and then his arms were around her and he was rubbing her back. "It was foolish of me to ask you that. I'm sorry."
"You're such an asshole!"
She felt him smile against her shoulder. "Whatever you say, Tulip-head."
Sasame opened the liquor cabinet lock, pulling out from the back a bottle of sake Kei kept stored there. His nerves were shot from having to keep up the facade that all was well. His hands shook so badly it took him four tries before he could get the bottle open for a healthy swig. He had to do this. The note was all written, explaining everything. She had to know, no matter what the others said. He tipped the bottle back again, throat warming with the strong alcohol.
Yes, it was almost time. Takako would be getting ready at the church. They had already made the arrangements. How could he do this to her? He had no choice. It had been made very clear; you do it or we will. And that wasn't fair to Takako. Another gulp, and he was ready. He left the house and flew over to Himeno's. He knew she always kept the balcony doors unlocked so she could sneak in after very long practice sessions. He snuck into her room and found the little diary she kept hidden in a secret compartment in her desk. She'd told him about it one day, and now that information would come in handy. Sasame pulled the note from his pocket and tucked it somewhere in the middle, where she hadn't written yet. She would find it eventually. He didn't want her reading it right away, but it wasn't fair that Takako be sealed away without her knowing the truth behind it. He left just as quietly as he'd come in, opening a gateway into Leafenia.
Himeno frowned, hands on her hips. "A surprise? What kind of surprise?"
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," Hayate answered. "I just want to show you something. Something I think you'll like very much."
"It better not be your bedroom!"
"You know, you really are the pervert here," he sighed.
"Hey, Feryn says all guys-,"
"There's your mistake right there, taking advice from Feryn. Now, are you going to close your eyes or not?"
Himeno still didn't trust him but...she closed her eyes and waited, expecting a whipped cream pie to be shoved in her face or something equally stupid. Instead, he took her hand and said, "Whatever you do don't let go of my hand."
Sasame drank the rest of the sake, his eyes sore from crying. He stared at the blackened tree with it's open hole and threw the sake bottle at it. The only thing worse than battle was waiting on the brink of one. One that he was going to start. He'd left his watch at the safe house. He didn't want to know the time. Shuddering, he reached up and removed his ear cuff, dropping it to the ground. This day, he was not a Leafe Knight. This day was the start of his death. Takako...he sank to his knees, fists clenched. Then, he screamed with everything he had, everything he would never be. All the dreams and hopes of his future, of his love, dying in that sound. And afterward, he lay where he was, a little more than half drunk and already dead inside for the terrible thing he was going to do. God, forgive him, for he knew Takako never would.
Takako waited. And waited. And waited. The priest was glancing from her to the nun serving as their only witness. He cleared his throat. And still she waited. Where was he? Sasame wouldn't forget today. He NEVER forgot anything. Then where was he? Panic began to fill her. He wouldn't...no, he would never...
"Miss, are you certain the groom knows he's getting married today?" the priest asked.
"Yes, we talked about it last night. He's just late," she said softly, sitting in the front pue. Eight hours late, her subconscious thought. He was supposed to be here at nine in the morning. It was now five at night. Where the hell was he?
The priest checked his watch for the millionth time. If he did it again, she was going to kill him. "Look, I have to get going. If you find him, give me a call and we can try this again tomorrow. I'm sorry." He and the nun left her alone in the church.
Alone, alone, alone. She was alone. No, she wasn't. Sasame? Sasame, where are you? Why did you leave me alone, alone on our wedding day? You wouldn't abandon me, would you? Would you? WOULD YOU!
Takako stood up, the bouquet of roses falling from her hands. She was alone. Alone again. NO! Sasame...she had to find him. Maybe the leafe...maybe he HAD forgotten. There were so many possible reasons. She left the church and used the senses she had as a Pretear to locate the other knights. Sasame was...
He was in Leafenia.
Thunder ripped through the sky, the heavy clouds blotting out the moon's light. And as she ran back to the safe house to have someone take her into Leafenia, the rain came pouring down, soaking her in a matter of seconds. She got to the house and noticed a shimmer of light in the backyard. Someone had left a gateway open! She didn't need their help now! Takako ran into the backyard and through the gateway, remembering to think of Sasame as she did. The gateway would take her wherever in Leafenia she needed to go if she thought of it. Sasame...
"Okay, open your eyes."
Himeno opened her eyes and looked around in awe, spinning in full circle to see it better. They were on a huge stone peak in the middle of nowhere. The only way they had gotten to the top was from flying. Below, she could see the dark cluster of trees in the twilight, looking like wavy black velvet. And, when she looked up..."Oh, WOW!" It was like they were floating in nothing but the sky filled with stars and...two moons? "Um, Hayate, where are we?"
"Leafenia," he answered. He was suddenly right behind her, standing close to her back, arms wrapping around her shoulders and holding her to him.
Himeno tilted her head back and looked at him as he stared at the sky. "What is this place?"
"Just a spot," he answered. "A spot where no one can interupt us, like they always do."
Himeno turned to face him. God, this was it! He was FINALLY going to tell her!
"Himeno, I have something to tell you, and I'm going to do it now before anything else happens."
She swallowed heavily as his hands dropped down her arms, going around her waist. She was lost in the blue of his eyes, falling, falling...no, wait, HE was leaning toward her, she wasn't falling. "Okay," she whispered, barely able to speak from the tightness of her throat.
"The fact is, Himeno that I...that I." He never finished what he was going to say because his eyes closed and...
She finished the movement, breath catching as they kissed, slow and deep. His hands moved up her back, bringing her closer. She stood on tiptoe so his neck wasn't at such an awkward angle, but he hadn't expected that and their teeth clicked. "Ow," she said, laughing.
Hayate smiled and said, "Don't move, okay? Let me do this."
"Okay."
His lips brushed her cheek this time, trailing a little lower, arms holding her up off the ground easily. So much for his theory she'd gained weight! He seemed to be doing a pretty good job of lifting her. "Hey, didn't you have something you wanted to say?" she asked, her mouth close to his ear.
"Yes..."
Sasame heard her approach. Hayate had left the gateway open and was keeping Himeno preoccupied. The Pretear would sense what was happening and they couldn't risk her stopping it before it was complete.
"Sasame?" she asked hoarsely.
She had been crying, he could hear it in her voice. So had he. He stood up shakily, leaning a hand against a tree for support. "Yes?" he asked, surprised his voice was as calm as it was.
"The wedding...you forgot?" Takako sounded so hopeful.
He swallowed heavily before answering. "No."
Silence. He could feel her desperation as strongly as if it were his own. "You...didn't? Is it the leafe? Is it starting to effect you?
God, he wished it would! He wished his leafe would rise up and kill him now. "No, Takako."
"Then what? Why...what...?" She was crying again.
She came up and took his hand. He jerked it back. "Takako...I can't marry you. I don't love you."
"What?" That one word held so much pain and denial to it. His heart was breaking, he could feel it.
"I only said I did because...because we wanted so badly to stop you from destroying the world."
She let his hand go. "Stop it," she said in a low whisper.
He turned around, face schooled into a perfectly blank mask. "Stop what, speaking the truth? You would rather I marry you and we live a lie together?"
Takako closed her eyes and covered her ears. "STOP IT!"
Sasame grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands away roughly. "No, listen to me for a change! It's over! I shouldn't have let it get this far to begin with."
Tear filled green eyes met him and the absolute wild despair creeping in them made him wish he could stop now, go back to the beginning and tell them all to go to hell. "You're lying to me. You have to be. I love you. You have to be lying to me," she cried.
"I'm not." I am.
"Liar. Tell me you love me!"
"I would be a liar if I said I did."
Takako yanked free of him, stepping away with her back turned and arms hugging herself. "LIAR!"
"Goodbye, Takako. I don't wish to see you ever again." He turned and began to walk away, the tears choking him to the point he could hardly breath.
"Sasame? Sasame! SASAME! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Himeno pushed Hayate back, sitting up and looking around. Hayate sat up with her, a little breathless.
"What?" he asked. His hands on her waist were distracting.
"I thought I heard something," she said. It sounded like a scream...
HIs lips brushed her cheek and her neck, and all thoughts of a scream were forgotten.
"It was nothing. The forest...that's all."
Himeno smiled and kissed him again, laying back down with him leaning over her, his hair hiding the stars completely from view.
Sasame waited, hidden in the shadows and crying silently. He had to be sure. He had to be certain it worked...
Takako fell to her knees, wailing in misery. His heart broke further and further with each heart-rending sob.
"Sasame, why? WHY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!" She screamed wordlessly, much as he had earlier.
And the shadows came to envelope her. The white wedding dress turned black and her hair moved in a breeze of her own making. "Sasame, are you happy now? Are you proud of what you've done? ARE YOU HAPPY, SASAME!"
No, God, no, he wasn't. He could feel those shadows pulling at his leafe. She wasn't strong yet. But she was getting there. He came out of the shadows again, drawing on his leafe. It had taken three knights to seal her away last time. Three knights had given their lives. He was one, he wondered who the other two would be. He let it out, slamming everything he had into her, sending her screaming into the hole in the Tree of Fenril, vines lashing out to bind her arms in place.
Takako turned glowing eyes on him, her tears shimmering in the growing violet light surrounding her. "So, lover, you've come to pick a fight?" she hissed. She pulled on the vine binding one wrist and it drew tight then snapped with a loud pop. Sasame fell to his knees, growing weaker and weaker the more his leafe was pulled from him.
Himeno hissed and shoved him away again, clutching her stomach.
"What is it? Did I touch a bruise?" Hayate asked earnestly. He quickly sat up, eyes worried.
"No...Takako! She's...she's the Princess of Disaster again," Himeno cried, standing up. How did this happen?
Hayate stood with her, straightening his shirt. "Can you sense where?"
She used the second sight and searched the woods. "There! She's at the Tree of Fenril!"
Hayate grabbed her wrist and they flew through the night to that dark spot in Leafenia. And the whole time Himeno's mind was racing with how this was happening again.
When they got there, the shadows were just a bit darker than they normally would have been. Takako...
She was standing by the tree, arms out to either side, head thrown back. The tears ran down her cheeks like glistening violet streaks. She was surrounded in a violet and indigo glow which was drawing the leafe away from the trees. And Sasame...
Sasame was laying face down, nearly completely faded.
"Sasame, no!" Himeno tried to run to him but a rush of power slammed into her, pinning her to a tree. It was so heavy, so thick and cloying! She couldn't shake the darkness off.
"Himeno. Come to witness my return?" Takako asked bitterly.
"Takako, whatever happened, you can't give in! Takako, listen to me!"
"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS!"
Hayate's scream of pain made her look over. She could see it now, the leafe, leaving him in thin silvery threads. It was being sucked up by the tree. The pressure on her chest eased and then Takako was thrown into the tree, vines wrapping around her wrists and ankles. The leafe was flowing from both Sasame and Hayate. Sasame was almost gone and Hayate...
"NO! HAYATE!"
Hayate lay on his back, eyes barely open. He was dying right in front of her. She had to DO something...
There was a great crack of lightening and then Feryn was there. He took a glance around, eyes wide when he saw Takako. "Mon Dieu! A Princess? Himeno, we must pret!" He held his hand out for her.
Himeno reached for him but, before her fingers could even touch his, Feryn fell to the ground, screaming as the leafe was pulled from him. Three knights were now dying...Three knight bound it before. The realization of what was going on suddenly slammed into like that surge of power before. The Tree of Fenril was trying to use them to bind Takako again!
"NONONONONONONO! I can't let this happen! I WON'T let this happen! Takako, why did you do this? Why did you go back?" Himeno couldn't stop the tears from falling.
Takako's scream was cut short by shimmering vines closing around her throat, pulling her further into the tree. Her eyes...pure hatred. Himeno knew in that look there was no saving her now. Takako had given herself completely to the darkness. Her knights...they were dying. Feryn...Sasame...Hayate!
"WHOA, look at that! Hold on, we're coming!" Himeno stared in horror as Mannen, Hajime and Shin broke through the trees, trying to get to their aid. No, not them...They couldn't die like this! She had to save them! One by one the younger knights fell prey to the tree sucking their leafe as well. Not them, not them! Please, God, not them, too!
A familiar warm feeling came over her and she looked at her hands. White light seemed to shine through her skin and she felt suddenly very light, as if she could float away. She had to save them. She wasn't going to lose another person that she loved, not if she could stop it. She looked up at the Tree of Fenril and could now see what she had to do. Leafe, it needed leafe. And she could feel it all over her. If it needed leafe to seal the hole, then she'd give it to the cause. Not them. Mannen, Hajime and Shin were all holding each other, on their knees, their leafe flowing from them into tha hole. Feryn and Hayate were nearly transparent. And Sasame...Sasame? She realized then that he had given everything he had to it. Sasame had died.
"No more," she said, but she couldn't be sure if it was outloud or in her head. The white light was pulsing in front of her. She focused it on the Tree and...Black spots ate her vision as the Tree fed off of her, the hole beginning to inch close. Himeno gasped, falling backward onto the ground. The blackness was creeping up more and more, edging out the white.
And the last thing she heard before she passed out was someone calling her name.
"Mon Dieu! She became the White Pretear without preting! C'est incredible!"
"What, you thought Hayate would lie about that?"
"Do you think she's awake yet?"
"I dunno. Hey, tickle her or somethin'!"
"Maybe we should poke her?"
"Or perhaps let a true lover kiss her awake, non?"
"Shut up, you abnoxious asshole!"
"Hey, is she awake NOW?"
"Quiet!"
Himeno winced, her hand moving up to touch her throbbing head. Except that it bumped into something. She forced her eyes open and looked directly into worried blue eyes and black hair falling around her. "H-Hayate?" she asked weakly, her voice hoarse.
Hayate's eyes closed, a look of utter relief flooding his features. His hand was stroking her cheek gently, but it was shaking.
"Hey, she's alright," Hajime called, turning back to Kei...Kei?
Kei smiled when she looked at him. "You turned into the White Pretear, and created so much leafe I got my sight back. And I came here after pulling the 'kick me' sign off my back." He turned a glare promising revenge to the younger three knights.
If Kei was healed, then maybe...she looked around for Sasame's familiar soft expression. And found it missing.
"It was too late," Hayate explained softly. Had he been crying? "Sasame's leafe was already being used and absorbed by the Tree of Fenril. He...he won't be coming back like last time."
Himeno stared at him. And stared and stared until the words sunk in and then she cried. She hadn't saved him! All of that, and she still lost one of them! Hayate pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently. Another set of arms surrounded her, and Kei's familiar hair brushed her cheek. Another and another until all of them were huddled together. All of them offering what comfort they could for her. She cried and cried and they all still were there, the younger ones crying with her. They were all trying to let her know they loved her, that they were there for her no matter what. Her sobs quieted slowly until they became nothing and the tears stopped flowing.
Slowly, the others began to move back, Kei and Feryn still holding Hajime and Shin. Himeno hugged Hayate harder, closing her eyes. "Is it finally over?" she asked weakly.
"Yes," he answered, voice barely more than a whisper.
"Good. Can we go home now?"
He kissed the top of her head and stood, lifting her up easily in his arms. "Kei, open a gateway."
Kei nodded and opened a gateway back to the safe house.
Once there, Kei and Feryn ushered the younger three to their beds. Himeno lay her head on Hayate's shoulder, closing her eyes. He carried her through the house, down the hallway with all the bedrooms. She was so tired... He shifted her a little to open a door and then she opened her eyes when he laid her down on a bed.
"Hayate?" she asked. This wasn't the guest room. There was a white rug on the floor and jersey sheets on the bed. Then, she saw a familiar black leather jacket draped over the chair at the computer desk and realized it was Hayate's room.
Hayate lay down next to her, wrapping her in against his body. "Shh, just sleep. I've got you." It felt so good and safe with him holding her, rubbing her back gently, stroking her hair. She decided then that she didn't need to hear it, she knew just from the way he was acting. Hayate really did love her. And that love was enough to fill the void in her heart, and fill it up completely. All the people hurt and lost...Sasame, Goh, her mother. She would always miss them, but she couldn't let that hurt her newly realized love for the Knight of Wind.
Himeno's eyes drifted close and she did as he asked for a change without arguing and fell asleep, dreaming of Sasame. Sasame laying there, fading before her eyes. Sasame...
She woke up later, gasping and sitting straight up. That last dream...Himeno looked around the darkened room and it suddenly felt clausterphobically close. Then, Hayate was there and he held her as she sat shaking from the all too real dream, brushing her hair back and whispering softly that he was there and she was safe. She lay back down again, snuggling in against his chest and whispered, "Hey, are you ever gonna tell me this big secret of yours?"
"Oh, that! Yeah. I love you," he answered jokingly.
Himeno smiled and said, "I knew it."