I guess I can still update some more chapters of this I just hope I'm still good at this...I'll make an appearance for the heck of it!
After taking care of the matter that Sora had ripped off Riku's clothes and nearly steering the ship to hell, they all went back to Destiny Island to recover some injuries and dignity. "Well, I've had enough excitement and gayness for one day" Riku stretches. "Don't go Wiku!" Sora grabs onto his leg. "You stay, I go. No following" Riku points at Sora. "NOoooooo! Don't weave me Wiku!" Sora whines as Riku drags him across the beach. "Oh, come on! I'm gonna be late for dinner and I gotta beat my older brothers at a straing contest (I can never EVER win those). "But they can pway with you tomorrow, besides you always see them!" Sora pulls Riku the opposite way. "AHHHH! Why won't this thing work!" Riku tries to flap his dark wing. "My Wiku!" Sora pulls him down. "WHHHHYYYYY!" Riku gives up and is being dragged across the beach hitting clams, crabs, Selphie, Kairi, missles, the basics. "What do I do?" Axel looks around as the others walk away.
Out of nowhere, his fangirls pop out and start to chase him alongside the beach. "Well, at least I have something to do" he thinks to himself as he runs, but he trips over Kairi, who's just being lazy, and lands in the water right when the fangirls got out some ropes and nets. "Oh, please! Have mercy!" he screams, but all fangirls have no mercy, only to catch the bishies. "You can come home with me for dinner, but that's it!" Riku tries to shimmy out of the rope that Sora tied him to a tree. "Reeeeeaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy?" Sora asks in a dreamy voice. "Uh, sure" Riku nods nervously. "YAY!" Sora cheers and unwraps Riku. "Yeesh, how tight can you make that thing?" Riku rubs his red and marked arms. "Do you want me to make it tighter around the both of us?" Sora smiles. Riku gives him a disgusted look and heads towards the partly destroyed dock. "You know, you should have your own theme song" Sora rows alongside Riku as they paddle aaaaaaaallllllllll the way to their home island. "I do, One Winged Angel" Riku answers. "Isn't that you're dad's theme song?" Sora asks, rowing closer to him. "Yeah, well. He won't give me one until I beat him in the Coliseum" Riku paddles a few inches away from Sora.
"What about your theme song?" Riku asks. "My stupid dad gave me the theme song of those weird guys. Who're they called again? Oh, yeah. The Turks" Sora sighs. "That music is cowboy music" Riku rolls his eyes. "I know, I wanted the theme song to that motorcycle chase or the Temple of the Ancients one, but he gave me some cowboy music" Sora groans as they bump into the shore. They both get out of their boats and press take out a remote looking thing. Riku pushes the boat alarm button, but Sora accidentally pushes the boat hop one, and his starts to bob up and down. "Maybe Cid shouldn't have given that to you" Riku snatches the remote and presses the right button. "Go let your parents know you'll be eating at my house and I'll meet you on my front porch" Riku walks to his house. "Hey dad!" Sora slams open his door. "What?" Cloud ansers from the kitchen. "I'm eating at Riku's okay?" he yells. "Fine, but don't let Sephiroth or his sons posses you. He did that to me once" Cloud walks out of the kitchen and over to him. He flashes back to he woke up without a shirt on with Sephiroth sleeping next to him. "Or maybe he didn't do that...Well, have fun!" Cloud smiles.
"Riku!" Sora runs over to him and tackles him to the ground. "Keep it down or else my dad-" "What's going on out here?" Sephiroth oepns the door and sees Sora on top of Riku, who's mumbling for help. "I need a vacation" Sephy shakes his head. "Brother!" Kadaj jumps out and tackles Sora. "Poor Riku!" Loz jumps and lands on Sora while trying to tear him apart. "It's good to have long hair and be sexy with it" Yazoo walks out and combs his hair with his hand. "A little help!" Riku yells. Sephy gets a crobar and separates all of them. "Get inside, it's time for dinner!' Sephy stomps back into the house. "Uh, oh. Daddy's angry" Loz whispers. "Ya think?" they all say at the same time. "You guys are mean!" Loz cries and runs back into the house. The others follow him and into the main room. "This is a nice house" Sora looks around. "Yeah well, since my dad was voted greatest villian, model, and bishie, the money started to roll in and we got this" Riku puts his arms to the side. "I wonder how come my dad hasn't gotten all this" Sora looks at a family picture of the family. "Maybe it's because he wasn't bid on when he was single" Riku walks up the stairs. "That could be the reason why we ended up with Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene, but at least she's cooler than your mom" Sora follows him.
"Why do you think I wanted to get off the island in the first place?" Riku rolls his eyes. "Welcome home Riku!" Aeris pops out of his room. "Mooooooom!" Riku whines. "I can see why" Sora laughs. "Why, if it isn't my would be son, but lost to a my enemy bartender, Sora!" she smiles. "What have you been doing in my room?" Riku looks behind her to the inside of his room. "Washing your clothes, cleaning around, and looking at your cute baby pictures!" she pulls out a book full of Riku's, Kadaj's, Loz's, and Yazoo's baby pictures. "Awww, isn't this one cute. You were just a few years old and you slept with your big brothers!" Aeris perkily (Is that even a word?) shows him and Sora a picture of Riku sleeping naked on his older brothers. "Do you have any I can copy?" Sora asks dreamily. "Mooooom! I said not in public!" Riku snatches the book. "Besides, I love my older brothers" Riku crosses his arms and pouts like a little kid. "What a Kodak moment!" Aeris takes out her camera and takes a picture. "Outta my face!" Riku points to the stairs. She giggles and walks out of his room. "Awww, but you were soooo cute Wiku!" Sora hugs Riku. "Lets just go eat!" Riku drags him down the stairs to the kitchen. The family is sitting down at the table, waiting for the other two.
"How come my hair won't grow?" Loz whines to Sephy. "If you wash everyday instead of once a weak, it'll get longer. How do you think I got my hair like this?" Sephy smiles. "Please! I want a picture to keeeeeepppppp!" Sora sits down next to Aeris's chair. "I'll give you a picture of me hot tubbin' if you shut up!" Riku yells as he sits down between Sora and Kadaj. "She showed you him the pictures?" Kadaj whispers. "She showed him my toushie" Riku bangs his head on the table. Kadaj pats him on the back. "You'll never guess what I made for dinner!" Aeris walks in with some plates. "I bet it's disgusting" Yazoo mumbles. She puts down the plates in front of them and takes a seat. They have dead monkey on their plates with mushrooms and sprinkles. "Oh, my GOSH!" Sora runs to the kitchen window and begins to...you know. Riku runs to the bathroom, Yazoo sinks down in his chair, Loz passes out of fright and disgust, and Kadaj is breathing into a paper bag. "Sephy gets upset and takes out the Masamune. "None of this!" he brings up the masamune and clashes it with the table, cutting it in half. "Oh, come on. I slave over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get? It doesn't taste that bad" Aeris takes a bite outta it and intsantly dies.
"Let's just order some pizza" Riku comes back from the bathroom, his face is really pale and he looks really weak. He takes another look at the hallucination and runs back into the bathroom. "That is one uuuugggglllyyy hallucination" Sora looks up from the window and points to the food. Kadaj stops breathing into the bag and calms down. "I'll have nightmares now!" he grabs and hangs onto Sephy's arm. Sephy takes out his cellphone and dials a number. "Chocobo Hut? Yeah it's me again, can you send two large pepperoni pizzas and a few cokes? Thanks" Sephy says and puts away his phone. "Why don't you kids go play upstairs until the food's here" Sephy points to the stairs. "Playtime!" Yazoo runs up the stairs while dragging Loz with him. Riku comes outta the bathroom, only to be carried off by Kadaj who's also carrying Sora. "Let's go play!" he cheers as he runs up the stairs. "How old are your brothers again?" Sora asks. "Kadaj is like, 17. Yazoo is in his 20s but he doesn't know, and Loz, well, lets just say he has more of a kid inside him" Riku answers as Kadaj takes them into Riku's room.
"Heeeeeeey, is Ansem a clone of your dad's?" Sora asks. "No, he was just some wannabe of my dad so he changed his hair color from red to grey, but he couldn't find the right contact lenses so he just kept them orange" Riku looks at a girl magazine. "Hewwo!" a girl with black hair and pale skin pops in through the window. The boys freak out and huddle to to a far corner. "Who the heck are you?" Sora points. "Call me DVG!" I jumps inside. "I don't like this paragraph thing anymore" I look down at the cazy words on the bottom of the screen.
DVG: That's better! There's more room and I don't have to type do much in one little graph!
Kadaj: Sooooo, where did you come from?
DVG: I come from Midgar, Paris, anywhere I want!
Sora: How'd you get here?
DVG: I flew! It's fun!
Yazoo: That's pretty lame. Everybody can fly by plane! Are you making me rhyme? I don't have the time! Make it stop! I gotta reputation to keep up right on the spot!
DVG: I'm the author of this crazy story and your rhyimg habit! By the way, I think all of you are hot!
All boy, except Loz: Thank yew!
DVG: I can fly cause I'm a vampire! It's fuuuuuuunnnnnnn! Plus Vinnie taught me how to fly!
Sora: You mean that guy with the red cape who my dad has a picture of him and another of a guy called Zack in his church home that he lives in because he thought Aeris was dead, but he could've used a phoenix down on her, but didn't because of his -takes a deep breath- stupidity that has probably passed onto me, but I may have some smarts because my mom is the hot bartender at the Seventh Heaven who knows martial arts and we're all living with some orphans and I have a little brother named Denzel and maybe a little sister name Marlene, who's hoping not to go back to her dad, because she doesn't like the way that he keeps saying 'I pity da foo' alot and how he has a gun for an arm -takes another deep breath- which reminds me of Fullmetal Alchemist how Ed has an automail for an arm except it's not a gun and speaking of guns, doesn't that Vincent guy have one along with some weird looking claw arm?
DVG: That's the guy!
Loz, who finally woke up: What's going on?
DVG: I was just saying hiiiiiiiiii!
Loz: I'm tired he curls up on Riku's bed and falls asleep
Riku: Everybody just sleep anywhere! -he throws down his magazine-
DVG: Walks over and picks up the magazine How to become a fangirl magnet?
Yazoo: Lend me that some time, I could use some more fangirls! Maybe more than nine. What the heck? How do you keep doing this without spell check!
All except Loz: -Sweatdrop-
Sephy: -Opens the door- What're you guys doing? -Sees DVG- And who's that?
DVG: DVG here to, um, I dunno!
Sephy: What does DVG stand for anyways?
DVG: Dark Vampire Girl, I'm an author! I was created at the Shinra lab!
Sephy: An author! That means you caused all of those bad things to happen in that fanfic...What was it called?
DVG: Can't Touch Dis...I couldn't think of anything else to do with you. But, I'll be selling alot of your plushies in my next chapter!
Sephy: Fine, anyways the pizza's here -He walks outta the room-
Everybody: PIZZA!
-The crazy dark background comes along with the booowoop sound-