"Michael!" she gasped. Turning towards him she smiled. "You scared the crap out of me just now."
"Sorry," he replied, looking slightly sheepish. "I guess I forgot about how jumpy we all are. I was just curious about what you and Monica had to talk about, I saw you sitting on the lawn a little while ago. I don't know, I guess I thought it was kinda odd, you two never seemed that friendly before."
She smiled broadly at him. "We were talking about how we ended up here."
"You mean the helicopters and Briggs' merry men and all that," he said, nodding in understanding.
"No, not that. I'm talking about how we came to be at the mall, when all this craziness started," she admitted.
"Wow, that must have been some talk."
"It was. I'm kind of disappointed with myself that I waited this long to get to know her a little bit, especially after all the time we've spent living together. She's a lot smarter than I ever gave her credit for," Ana told him.
They stood facing each other companionably now. Slowly, Michael reached out with his right hand and grasped her left one lightly, toying with her fingers briefly. It reminded her of a similar moment they'd shared one afternoon when working on the parking shuttles at the mall. "Maybe sometime you could tell me your story too," he said softly, looking into her eyes.
"I'd really like that," she said, squeezing his hand. "But there's something you need to know about first."
"What?" he asked, confusion in his voice.
"Briggs has decided that any of us who want to can fly out with them when they leave tomorrow. I've already told her that I wanted to be on one of those helicopters," she said, squeezing his hand tighter as she looked down at the ground.
Looking thoughtful for a moment, Michael smiled and said, "You know that I'm going wherever you go, right?"
Ana, looked up at him, surprise in her eyes. "I'd hoped you'd come with me, but I wasn't sure," she said hesitantly, looking away as her eyes began to tear up. Stepping forward, Michael reached out with his free hand and gently tilted her chin up so she would once more meet his eyes. He looked searchingly down at her face for a moment before smiling once more, obviously he'd seen what he'd been looking for in her eyes. Slowly, Michael leaned down and kissed her.
"Ana! Are you ready to head back up to the house yet?" Monica's voice called from just outside the stable's front door, causing the pair to break apart. With one long, last look, Michael disappeared through the back door just as Monica came into view.
"There you are," Monica said, walking over to Ana's side. She took a good look at Ana's face and giggled. "Come on, let's get out of here." Stepping through the door, Monica pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a deep drag. Slowly she exhaled and said, "Sorry about interrupting you and Michael."
Ana's face turned crimson, causing Monica to laugh once more. "Am I that obvious?" Ana asked.
"Only to everyone in the group, I'm sure you've still got the zombies fooled," Monica replied glibly.
"I know I should feel bad about feeling the way that I do about Michael, especially so soon after what happened to Louis," Ana said glumly.
"Why should you feel bad?" Monica asked, genuine surprise on her face.
"Why? Well, for one thing, I've only known Michael a few months. For another, I met him the same day that Lou died. I don't know, I guess you could almost say I feel guilty about it, I can't shake the feeling that it's somehow wrong to feel this way right now," she tried to explain.
"Ana, it's okay. I think they call it survivor guilt that you're feeling. You think you should feel bad about living when he's dead, but I'll bet in a different situation, like if it was Louis sitting here instead of you, you'd want him to move on and make the most out of whatever time may be left in his life. Right?" Monica asked.
"Well, yea. But, I don't know, somehow it still feels like I'm not honoring his memory. He's still out there somewhere, walking around Everett..."she trailed off.
"Forget about that Ana, you'll just drive yourself mad if you keep thinking about it like that. He's not really walking around out there, it's just, I don't know,his shell. It's not the man you loved, his body doesn't belong to him anymore. Don't cheat yourself out of some happiness because of some kind of misguided notion you have over what you owe your dead husband. Michael makes you feel good doesn't he?"
"Safe. Michael makes me feel safe," Ana replied. "He's almost the antithesis of Lou, my whole life with Lou. Don't get me wrong, I loved my husband dearly. We met while I was at college, he was working for the contractor that was putting up some new dorms on campus. He stuck with me through college and nursing school. We got married right after I graduated so that we could move to Everett together when I got a job at the hospital. He gave up his job and everything to be with me. But things were always so chaotic with him."
"More chaotic than all this?" Monica queried, lifting her eyebrows in surprise.
"Well, not like this, I don't think that would even be possible. No, it was more about the craziness of our schedules and trying to make time for each other. We could make plans for something so simple like watching American Idol together, and then I'd have to work late, or he'd.."
Monica interrupted. "Let me guess. Or he'd call and say that the guys were getting together after work for a beer. Don't worry though, he was only going to have one to be social, and then he'd come right home, but then ended up crawling home hours later smelling like a brewery."
Ana laughed. "Exactly! How'd you know?"
"It's a gift," Monica said, laughing. "Seriously though, I think that better than half of my friends who were either married or long term couples had the exact same problems."
"Really? How'd they handle it?" Ana asked, intrigued.
"Usually the long terms suddenly ended, and the marriages became divorces," Monica said. "But there were some outstanding trust issues involved in most of those cases too."
"Scary. Deep down I think Lou and I both knew that we had some serious issues about trust, but neither one of us wanted to admit it.. When he'd spend one of those nights at the bar with the guys, I was always terrified he'd go home with another woman. A couple times I found phone numbers in his jeans pockets when it was my turn to do the laundry. And I don't think Lou could ever get over thefear that I was going to run off with one of the doctors at the hospital," she finished.
"What gave him that idea?"
"Probably my friend Cora. She always had a new guy, and he was usually a married doctor. It was kind of a 'guilt by association' type of thing. But despite all that we were really happy together. As long as we never talked about money," she grinned.
"Uh oh, not one of those he-man, insists he has to make more money than the little woman, kind of guys," Monica groaned.
"I never could understand why some men get all bent out of shape over the idea that their wives earns more money," Ana said.
"Are you kidding? Most of the guys I ever dated had one thing in common. They all thought the biggest judges of their manhood was the size of their cocks and how much money they made. And not always in that order either," Monica told her. "Thank God not all men are like that, the boyfriends who had nojobs, no money, and no ambition to get a job to earn money proved that to me."
"Monica! That's terrible," Ana said through her laughter. "Jesus, how did we even get on this subject anyway?"
"Easy, you were comparing Michael to your husband."
"I wasn't comparing them!" protested Ana.
"Then what would you call it? You said your life with Louis was chaotic, that you had trust issues, and that you found it hard to spend a lot of time together. But I bet the sex was really hot when you did manage to get together," she added with a devilish smile on her face. "On the flip side, you say that Michael makes you feel safe, obviously you trust him, and you spend most of your time together. I just haven't figured out if you've fucked him yet or not. Now, how is that not comparing?"
"Wait, where did my sex life suddenly appear in your messed up equation?" Ana asked.
"Sex is almost always on my mind, it's what's keeping me sane right now. I always speculate about peoples' sex lives. And you're avoiding my question," Monica said, barreling Ana over with her bizarre logic.
"How'd you get to be so smart about this stuff?" Ana asked, still hedging.
"You're stalling."
"Okay, maybe I have been comparing them in my mind," admitted Ana. "But now I have a question for you."
"What."
"Will you be disappointed if Steve decides to stay behind here at the house tomorrow?"
"Not really, I'll probably do a little cheer. Like I said, while the sex is great, there's only so much of his personality, or lack thereof, that even I can handle," she said, grinning. "Besides, there's a couple of those soldiers I wouldn't mind getting to know a little better."
The two continued chattering like a couple of teenagers the rest of the way to the house. When they arrived, they immediately went in search of some rooms for the night. In another area of the house, Briggs and Cowboy toiled away in the computer room. After she'd left the stables she'd sought out Cowboy in the Senator's study. He'd made some significant progress with hacking into Kelmsley's personal files and downloading them onto discs to take with them when they left. Briggs had sat and joined him at the task, filling him in on her latest plans as they worked.
"You're doing what?" Cowboy laughed after Briggs told him about her decision to allow the civilians to choose whether or not they wanted to remain on the estate, or to accompany their team when the helicopters flew out. "Let me guess, that wanna be cop talked you into this."
"Charlie, don't start with me about that," Briggs groaned.
"What?" he asked innocently. "I just think it's awful fast moving for a woman who knew a guy for better than 10 years before she married him."
"I was barely 19 when I got married! I think I was allowed to drag my feet for better than 10 years considering the circumstances. And I was 19 and very dumb too I might add."
"Says the girl with the genius IQ But you also avoided any kind of serious relationship with any other guy, and now here's this blue collar security guard that you're all gung ho about playing house with," Cowboy continued.
"What playing house? We're just trying to make it through this shit in one piece man. So what if I've gotten friendly with the guy, it's not like I'm fucking his brains out every chance I get or something," Briggs declared defensively, causing Cowboy to break into another peal of laughter.
"I'm sorry Kenny, I'm just fucking with you, really. I think it's a really good idea to let some of those civilians come along with us, I mean, we've already lost two good soldiers since we flew outta Gull Island. Some of those civilians are damn good shots too,including your security guard. I can't help but respect a man who can handle a firearm as good as he does. But I'm sure you already thought about all that too," he said.
"Yea, which is pretty much why I let myself get talked into it," she said.
"You little bitch," he said, somewhat in awe.
"I still don't think it's the best idea, don't get me wrong there. But manpower is pretty short on our end, I'd have to be stupid not to accept the truth about that."
"So we're still leaving tomorrow then?" he asked.
"The sooner we get out of here, the better. I want Scarecrow to find a cold trail when he arrives. When we meet, it's going to me on my turf."
"How do you plan on arranging that? Caroline will probably spill everything as soon as he arrives."
"She won't know where we're going, we're the only two who know and that's the way it's staying," Briggs told him. Cowboy was silent, staring intently at the monitor before him.
"What, no arguments?" Briggs prodded, a little surprised at his silence.
"Did you know the Senator was keeping files on us?" he asked quietly, gesturing towards the screen.
"What?" she demanded, pulling up a chair beside him and reading. Scanning through the files quickly, anger shone from her face. "That motherfucker."
"It goes all the way back to 1984, when he took on two charity cases, goes all the up until abouta month before the infection hit," Cowboy murmured.
"Charity my ass, he used two troubled kids to boost his career and help him onto the fast track to the senate," Briggs retorted. "Download that shit too, I want to know what else he's done," she told him, rising to her feet.
"There's some stuff in here from Caroline too. Observations she made to the Senator, it spans from 1984 until you and Scarecrow got divorced," he told her.
"Download that too, on a separate disc from the rest," Briggs said. "There's no reason for anyone but the two of us to see what she had to say." She started to walk towards the door.
"Where you headed now?"
"The guest house. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of the camouflage look. I'll see what I can scrounge up for you too," she said, walking towards the door. When she reached the hallway, she found Dennis crouching by the door. "What're you doing here kid?"
He quickly stood, eyes downcast, and toeing the carpet as he replied, "Nothing."
"Nothing huh? Well then, why aren't you with your Mom or your brother? I bet they could find something to keep you busy. They're probably wondering where you are."
He shrugged, still staring at the floor, now shifting uneasily from side to side. "My Mom's been in the kitchen all day, she found a bottle of wine, probably more, she doesn't like me around when she's drinking. Zach doesn't like me around much either, especially if I follow him around, he says I'm just a pest," he said softly.
Mentally sighing as she thought about her own messed up childhood Briggs made up her mind to take the kid with her for awhile. "Come on kid, you can keep me company. I'm gonna go raid my old room at the guest house, see if I can find any clothes to wear that aren't green."
Looking up at her in momentary shock, a small smile formed on Dennis' face. "You really mean it?" he asked. "I can come with you?"
"Yea kid, that's what I said. Now let's go, times wasting."
The pair moved quickly into the guest house. It was a much smaller version of the main house on the outside, inside it was completely different. The first floor house a large kitchen and dining room along with a study and a library. The upstairs held 5 spacious bedrooms. Dennis still trailed slightly behind Briggs as she ascended the stairs, moving down the hallway to a closed bedroom door. She slowly pushed open the door, met with the stale smell of disuse emanating from the room.
Dennis wrinkled his nose slightly at the smell. "This was your room?" he asked.
"Yea, a long time ago," Briggs replied distractedly, moving towards the closet doors.
Dennis began walking around the room, looking at pictures littering the top of the dresser. "Is this you?" he suddenly asked, holding out a picture of a smiling couple, a tall dark haired man standing with his arm around a equally dark haired girl clad in what appeared to be Army Class A's.
Briggs turned to look, "Yea, that was my graduation from Basic Training."
"Your hair was black," Dennis commented.
"Yea kid, the miracle of hair dye. I didn't always like being a read head," she replied.
Nodding Dennis put the picture back, looking instead at another one tucked into the frame of the dresser's mirror. It was Briggs again, Cowboy was with her, and once more the dark haired man. "Who's the guy with you in all these pictures?" he asked, curiously.
Frowning, Briggs moved away from the closet and joined him. "That was my ex-husband Riley. I think you know who Cowboy is," she said, pulling the picture free from the mirror, looking at it reminiscently. She started to put it back into the mirror frame, but at the last moment shoved it into one of her pockets instead. Turning she pulled an old duffel bag from one side of the closet and began pawing through the clothes still hanging there.
As Briggs methodically worked her way through the closet, occasionally pulling something out and tossing it on the bed, Dennis continued to poke around the room. Peaking out from beneath the bed he saw the corner of a photo album. With a quick look at Briggs to see if she was paying attention, the boy quickly sat down on the floor and began thumbing his way through the book. As he scanned the photos inside, he recognized a much younger version of Caroline in several of them, as well as a younger looking Riley. He lifted the book higher to get a closer look at a picture where, posed in front of the Vietnam War Memorial, Caroline, Riley, a guy he figured to be the Senator and two kids that looked younger than he was now stood unsmiling. As he did, a creased and battered photo fell to the floor from the back of the book.
Reaching down, Dennis picked up the picture. It was the same two kids from the picture with the Senator's family, a blonde haired boy and a red haired girl standing with a tall blonde man. The three of them stood in front of the Vietnam War Memorial wall, much like the other picture that was so carefully arranged in the album. In both photos, the two kids were wearing the same clothes, so he figured they had to have been taken the same day. Turning the loose one of the man and kids over he saw something written on the back in a childish script, 'Me, Charlie and Dad, Memorial Day, 1984'it read. He struggled to remember what he'd heard Briggs and Cowboy talking about in the study earlier. Cowboy had said something about 1984 and two troubled kids. He wondered if it was the two in the photograph he was now holding. If only he could have heard more of their conversation in the study, but it hadn't been easy to hear their voices all the way out in the hall where he'd been eavesdropping. He thought about asking Briggs about the two kids, but then he would have had to admit that he'd been listening. Glancing over the side of the bed to see if she was watching, Dennis carefully slipped the photo into his jeans pocket.
"You about ready to head back to the house?" Briggs suddenly asked, causing the boy to jump. She was just finishing up loading some clothes into the duffel bag she'd put on the bed earlier.
"Yes," Dennis said, quickly stuffing the photo album back beneath the bed where he'd found it. "You must come here an awful lot to have your clothes here already," he said nervously, uncomfortable in the silence.
"Not really. Actually it's been a few years since I was here last. I left in such a hurry that I never even bothered to stop and pack up my stuff," she replied, walking swiftly down the hall.
Hurrying to keep up, Dennis asked, "What for?'
"I got into a really big fight with the Senator, and after that I didn't feel much like sticking around long enough to pack," she said.
"But why?" he asked.
"Because there are more important things in life than material possessions," she told him. "Especially when someone like the Senator tries to control you."
"What do you mean control you?" Dennis asked, trying to understand what she was saying.
"You sure ask a lot of questions," she said gruffly, wanting to change the subject. "Why didn't you want to go hang out with your brother? "
"I told you, he doesn't like me following him around," Dennis said bluntly.
"Why not? I mean, granted you're a little bit younger than he is, but it's not like he's got friends he's trying to impress or something," commented Briggs.
"I think Zach has a crush on that girl Nicole," Dennis confided. "And he's trying to show off to her, especially in front of Terry."
"Deliver me from adolescent boys," she mumbled in response.
"What was that?"
"Nothing," she grinned. "What else doesn't Zach like about you?"
"Zach's only my half-brother. He doesn't like me much 'cause my Dad stuck around and married our Mom and his didn't. That's what Uncle Tom told me one time, he'd found me after Zach had locked me in a toy box. Zach's never even met his real Dad so he resents me, or at least, that's what Uncle Tom says," Dennis said matter-of-factly with far too much maturity for a kid his age.
"Yea, parents can really screw up a good kid," Briggs said offhandedly. "What about your Dad? Where's he at?"
A sad look came over the boy's face, almost making Briggs regret having asked the question. Finally he said, "I don't know. Zach says he's become one of those things that was trying to break into our apartment back in Kansas City. He'd gone to work the morning after all the news reports about those zombie things had started. I got up when Zach did for school, and Mom was talking to Dad on the phone and he told us that we had to stay inside with the doors locked. Mom was crying a whole lot. I guess Dad had told her some of the crazy stuff he'd seen on his way downtown, he said he was coming back home, but we never saw him again. A couple hours after he'd called, Mom tried to call him at the office, but the phones were dead. After awhile, Uncle Tom showed up, one of those things almost got him outside the apartment door, but he kept hitting it in the head with a tire iron until it fell down and didn't get back up. We spent the whole night waiting up for my Dad and watching the television, but by the next morning none of the stations were broadcasting anymore. Until you guys showed up we weren't even sure there was anyone else left alive. Uncle Tom climbed up on the fire escape and hung up the t-shirt we'd written on, butall he heard were people moaning on the roof so he figured they were all dead too."
After listening to Dennis' story, Briggs was half tempted to say something reassuring about his father possibly still being alive, but she couldn't bring herself to commit to a falsehood that could only scar the boy worse. Instead she decided to change the subject.
"So what makes you think Zach's trying to show off to Terry and Nicole?"
Looking surprised at the question, the boy answered, "He's always trying to find reasons to flex his muscles around her, and he likes to brag about being the Captain of the football team to her." Grinning, Dennis added, "But he was only gonna be trying out for the JV team this fall. He's really jealous that Terry gets to carry a gun too."
"Speaking of which, it wouldn't hurt for you and Zach both to learn how to handle a weapon. You never know when you're gonna find the need to defend yourself," Briggs said thoughtfully.
"You really mean it?" Dennis cried out excitedly.
"Chill little man. Firearms are not toys and you and Zach will only be allowed to handle them when you're with me, or someone I say is okay. Got it?"
He nodded his head enthusiastically in agreement. "When do I get to start learning how? Will you teach me first?"
Rolling her eyes, Briggs sighed. "How about after I get changed out of these BDU's? There should still be plenty of light for a few more hours, we can go out on the lawn aways, where you can't accidentally shoot somebody."
The rest of the way to the main house Dennis kept up a steady stream of chatter about learning to shoot a gun. Escaping into her room at last, Briggs leaned back against the door for a moment, hoping she hadn't made yet another mistake.