The Wizard of La

Disclaimer: I own neither The Wizard of Oz nor Marvel Comics. Please, exercise some common sense, people! As an additional disclaimer, I did bring in some of the original lyrics from the film and alter them in this chapter.

Chapter Three – Off to see the Wizard!

For the third time in an hour, Remy found his new friend skipping with his footless stubs across the road.

"Hey, mon ami, why da Scarecrow cross da road?"

"I don't know, Remy, why?" Scott said, smiling brightly in anticipation of a joke.

"'Cause if he didn't, Remy woudda blown him up f'skippin'! Straw makes fo' a good fire, y'know." Remy plucked a handful of straw from Scott and charged it, horrifying him as it exploded in the air.

Undeterred, the scarecrow fell behind. "Where are we going?" Scott said, walking behind Remy.

"Remy is goin' t'see some wizard. He don' know why y'followin' him." Remy replied.

Scott suddenly brightened. "Do you think if I went with you this Wizard would give me some brains?" He looked hopefully at Remy, who snorted and laughed.

"Ain' nobody dat can do dat, Scott." He said to the scarecrow, who frowned. "'Sides, Remy killed some bitch's frere and she's real mad at him. Some wicked witch or somet'in.' Prolly jus' a girl wit PMS."

Scott put his arms to his sides and stuck his chest out. "Witch? Huh! I'm not afraid of a witch! I'm not afraid of anything – except a lighted match. And you making me go boom!"

Remy smirked. "Don' blame y'for dat, homme."

"Won't you take me with you? I'd face a whole box of matches for the chance of getting some brains. Look, I won't be any trouble, because I don't eat a thing, and I won't try to manage things, because I can't think." Scott plead with Remy, even bending to his stiff knees.

"Remy jus' wish y'went t'dis much effort in da real world, mon ami." The scarecrow looked at him confusedly. "Oui, ya can come, but no more singin'!"

"We're off to see the Wizard

The Wonderful Wizard of La!

We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz

If ever a Wiz there was

If ever oh ever a Wiz there was,

The Wizard of Oz

Is one because

Because, because, because, because, because…"

Scott was cut off when Remy charged his clothes. "What did Remy jus' say?"

"No more singing," Scott replied. "But I jus' thought that."

"Don' t'ink until y'get a brain, homme. And don't sing!" Remy cursed and continued walking down the road. "Remy gonna kill whoever responsible for dis."

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Next Chapter: Talking trees. Remember them? Hilarity to follow.

bunsdarien – As much as the role of Wolverine as the cowardly lion amuses me, I have a much funnier role for him. You'll see. Kisses for you and your reading of my work.

BJ – Oh yes. But all the painkillers in the world don't numb the pain of a broken femur. I've actually been told that it's actually quite difficult to break that particular bone, so I have a half-assed sense of accomplishment to go along with my painkillers. I did not, however, get to utilize the 30-foot beer pong.

afreddiefan – I used to love Cyclops. Then I went through puberty and following the rules became less cool. Now I think I am enjoying making crude comments about having something up his ass.

Puppybaddog – Here it is…I'm still quite thankful you updated and finished Remy's Predicament, because I really liked that story. It was wicked awesome.

BlkDiamond – Yay! Sinister will be in this story, I can't seem to write anything without demoralizing or screwing around with him. Him and Magneto. I love half-villains!

Inantiodromia – Cross dressers in general are funny (no offense to any of you guys!), especially the tall, masculine ones. You all have to admit that any tall, muscular man dressed like Dorothy would make you laugh. I did, however, spare him the shame of carrying a little dog around.

Tokyo Fox – The bad witch is a secret. Patience, patience! And make sure you keep reading and commenting, because I become lazy in the absence of proper motivation.

Xmaxx – It's actually a lot of fun to write. I looked a copy of the script up on the internet and I'll just start laughing for no apparent reason when I figure out what to do with something.

Brazos – Glad this made you smile. :D Here's more, hope you like.