Cathartic Moments

This story is AU from the "Experience is the Teacher". Basically think of it as an alternative ending if Mr. Zwick and Co. had the allotted 22 instead of 19 eps. Stupid ABC. For the purpose of the story, Karen is still in hospital. Everything remains intact from "Experience is the Teacher".

Disclaimer: This fic is designed for non-profit use only. I own nafink. NAAAAFINK. It's all Mr. Zwick and Co. and the good people at ABC who used to and abused the show mercilessly. Good work ABC, you fickle sods

Feedback means everything to me, so please READ and REVIEW. Thank you so much for every one who reviewed so far. It meant the world to me, it really did.

And finally, shout out to my awesome beta reader Karen who catches all the little things that I never do. Cheers, Karen!

Chapter Two

"Home." Karen Sammler sighed, leaning heavily on her cane. She exhaled her breath which she felt she had been holding throughout the car trip home from the hospital.

The last months had been so achingly painful; full of fear and pain. In the darkest moments, alone at night, nothing seemed exist outside the slow monotony of time. In those moments, Karen felt sure that nothing lived outside the hospital, that her home, her job, her life was nothing but a distant illusion. But here she was, bathed in sunlight in front of her house. She suppressed the urge to laugh, so giddy she was with relief.

"Mom?" Eli strode to her and gently held her side. "Come on, let's go in."

"What about my bags?"

"Jessie'll get 'em. Jess, the bags."

"Ok," Jessie called behind them.

Karen tentatively hobbled forward, face bathed in sunlight as her son supported her. As they reached her front door, she hesitated, suddenly fearful of what she may find.

"Come on, Mom." Eli said gently. Squeezing her side, he opened the door.

Her house was in the exact same state she left it in. On closer examination however, a thick layer of dust had settled into every corner of the room. The air was heavy and stale. A stack of legal papers were stored on a cabinet, untouched for months and Karen spied Eli's gym bag over in the corner.

"Yeah," Eli chuckled nervously. "Sorry about the mess."

"Oh Eli," Karen sighed, tears welling. "It's perfect." 'It's still my home' Karen thought happily.

Eli helped Karen over to a chair. Jessie then hurried in with her bags. "Where do you want them?" she asked.

Karen leaned back and closed her eyes. "Just anywhere," she said tiredly.

"Mom?" Karen opened her eyes. Eli and Jessie both were looking worriedly at her. "Do you want something to eat?" Jessie asked obviously concerned. "Or, or maybe to drink?"

"Just no Jell-O." Karen smiled weakly. Jessie and Eli laughed quietly. "Maybe a drink of water honey."

"I'll get it." Jessie said, relieved to be helping. She turned and headed to the kitchen.

For a few moments, Eli and Karen stayed silent. Then Eli asked "So what now?"

"We'll just follow the instruction Dr. Jenkens gave." Karen said. She paused, unsure whether to continue. "I believe Henry will continue to see me."

Eli scrunched up his face. "Henry?" he queried.

"My physiotherapist," Karen said a shade too hastily.

"Right." Eli looked down and hooked his thumbs in his pockets. "I'm glad you're back." He mumbled quickly.

Karen smiled lovingly at the young man before her. "Me too, honey."

"Got it!" Jessie hurried in. She sat next to her mother and handed her the drink. "Is there anything else you need? A pillow or a book?"

Karen drank the water, feeling it wet her parched lips. "No, no," she motioned to Eli to sit down. "I want to hear all about your lives."

"I got an A for my English paper on Othello!" Jessie said excitedly. "I'm helping out with the English and Art Faire next month. I might be joining this after school gym club, to keep practicing my tae kwon do and everything!"

Karen lightly caressed her daughters slightly flushed face. "That's wonderful, sweetie. Are you sure that's not too much work?"

"Definitely not," Jessie said confidently, enjoying talking with her mother.

Karen turned and addressed her son. "Eli, why don't you sit down? What has happened with you? It feels so long since I've known."

"Uh," Eli suddenly felt quite ill. He couldn't be here, next to these accomplished females when he himself had failed in every endeavor he had tried. He felt all the more humiliated looking at his mother's open, expectant face. Realizing that she was waiting for him to speak he reluctantly sat down. "Working for Judy and Jake is really great," he lied. "I could go there full time."

"Oh Eli," his mother gasped, clearly thrilled. "That's so wonderful." She threw her arms around him and grasped him tightly.

"Yeah," Eli whispered.

Karen let him go. "I'm in no state to cook, so why don't we order take- out," she crowed mischievously. "Some pizzas maybe? Extra fatty."

"Mom!" Jessie sounded shocked.

Karen cuddled her daughter. "I think you both deserve it!"

"I'll just have tea thanks." Lily said to Judy.

Judy raised an eyebrow. "Only tea huh? Trying to loose weight?"

"Of course not!" Lily snapped. She wandered over to a table and sat down. "I, unlike you, am not slave to the caffeine monster."

"You say that today, but soon ye shall see the light!" Judy smirked. She told one of her employees to bring a latte' and a tea out. Sitting across from her sister she asked "How's Grace?"

"Recovering." Lily said miserably. "It breaks my heart to see her like this. Every day she comes home from pale and upset. School isn't meant to be an ordeal."

"Rumours die down. Soon it'll be the next unfortunate kid who pisses off a popular bitch. And if it does continue, you could always move her to another school."

"Upton is a great school!" Lily protested. "She's just heart broken. I'm sure in time everything will be ok." The waiter brought the women their drinks. Lily stared morosely down into her cup then picked her spoon and listless stirred clockwise, then paused and stirred counter clock wise.

"Ok." Judy sighed. She snapped her fingers in front of Lily's face. "Earth to Queen Lily! What else is wrong?"

"Nothing!" Lily protested. "I'm worried about Grace."

"Of course you are," Judy said simply. "But there's something else, and you didn't come all this way not to tell me. Come on, Lily."

"I," the words caught in Lily's throat. Fingering her cup, she suddenly found herself petrified. Lily knew that uttering these words made the worries buzzing in her head, concrete, more real. "I've been ill lately."

"Lily," Judy gasped, eyes widening. She put a hand to her chest. "It's not, not serious, right?" she asked with dread.

"No!" Lily assured her quickly. She watched her sister release a relieved breath.

"Ok, then what's the problem?" Judy asked confused.

"Well, it's more that I've been ill every day this week." She paused. "In the morning."

Judy's eyes widened. "My God," she breathed. "Are you late?"

"I think," Lily hesitated. "I think I am."

"Whoa." Judy gazed at her sister intently. "Have you told Rick?"

"There's nothing to tell" Lily insisted, her voice shrill. "I don't know anything yet!"

"Lily, this isn't bank bills. You can't just ignore it."

"I know Ok," Lily snapped. Lily pushed her tea away, suddenly not thirsty.

"So, this is a case of maybe a baby," Judy wryly said. "You don't seem so pleased."

"I am, I just what…" Lily didn't want to comprehend what a baby may mean. "I just don't want to get excited over nothing."

"Ok," Judy said, sipping her coffee and watching her sister, curiosity piqued.

Beaming, Mr. Bellows picked up a pile of assignments from his desk. "Poetry is never easy," he said. "Plenty of people just believe that a poem's main purpose is to sound nice. I found however that most of you grappled well with what poetry is really about, meaning. So, uh, excellent work everyone."

A few members of the class mumbled their thanks as Mr. Bellows proceeded to enthusiastically return the assignments. Grace stared at the wall, completely zoned out, pitifully wondering whether she was able to endure Bellows dull voice for the rest of the year.

"Ms. Manning." Grace started. Mr. Bellows peered at her then handed back her assignment. "Good work."

Grace flashed a fake smile then looked down at her assignment. Her heart thudded when she saw the result. 'A B' she thought incredulously. She wildly looked around, certain that a catastrophic mistake had been made. Her stomach dropped further when she saw Mr. Bellows hand back Alexa's assignment. "Fantastic result," he beamed. Alexa looked flummoxed, and then her face broke out into a wide smile. She caught Grace's look and smirked.

The shrill ring of the bell interrupted the standoff. Grace quickly packed her bags, her desire to leave overwhelming.

Grace stormed down the hall wall, rudely pushing past the kids leaving their last class. Grace's breath came out as wheezes as she struggled to control her anger. 'I hate this place' she thought.

"Grace!" It was Alexa. She too was pushing past kids as they were heading for the bus ride home.

"What," Grace snarled.

"Well excuse me," Alexa sarcastically said. "You left in such a hurry I was just checking on how you were."

"Sure," Grace drawled. 'As if you care.'

"I'm guessing you're upset. But come on, you obviously got the mark you deserved. I mean, Mr. Bellows is an actual teacher."

"What!" Grace's voice dripped with anger.

"He is. Mr. Dimitri was hopeless and you know it."

"He was not!" Grace snarled. Lowering her voice she looked Alexa straight into her eyes. "You're just jealous and now you're taking it out on me."

Alexa flinched as if she had been struck. Momentarily she seemed to struggle to control her rage but soon an ugly smirk slithered over her face.

"Or maybe you're not the writer you thought you were and Dimitri only gave you the marks because he wanted to fuck you."

Both girls paused and let the implications of what Alexa said sink in. Then laughing humorlessly, Alexa turned and stormed off.

Groaning, Grace wrenched open her car door and climbed in car. Not bothering to hold in the tears that were now streaming now her face Grace turned the ignition on and angrily shifted the car into first and drove off.

The car trip was horrible and somewhere in Grace's consciousness she knew that she was in no condition to drive. Before she could process Alexa's statement she was in front of her drive way. Shoving open the door she stormed into the kitchen and to her profound relief found it empty. Grace practically ran up the stairs and hoping no one would hear her closed her door.

Throwing herself onto the bed, Grace hiccupped through her tears. 'It's not true'

But seeds of doubt were springing into her mind. She knew that Mr. Dimitri cared for her, but somehow she trusted him to keep his professional integrity intact when he marked her work. But emotion often clouded reason and now Grace felt uncertain as to whether she was at all talented. All the encouragement, all his criticism and praise she received from him was now placed under suspicion in her mind.

He had made her feel wonderful and now he was gone she was Grace again, lonely and insecure. How did she know that anything he said was real?

Sniffling Grace hauled herself up and grabbed her notebook. Mr. Dimitri had once told her to use her emotions. Determined she took her pen and began to write.

Jessie peered into the microscope, adjusting the lens to see better. Sighing, she recorded the results then tiredly rubbed her eyes and glancing anxiously at the clock. She resumed working but a moment later she was hugged from behind.

"Hey Jessie!" Katie grinned. Jessie jumped, but then relaxed and eased into the contact.

"Hey," she said, tired. "Why are you still here? Its, like, four thirty."

"Mr. Bellows gave me an after school detention for not handing in an assignment." Katie said cheerily.

"Really?" Jessie asked incredulously. She wiggled out of Katie's embrace. "But you always charm your way out of detentions!"

"But I knew you were going to be here," Katie sweetly said. She glanced around the room. "Where are Bill and Jenny?"

"They didn't show up," Jessie said quietly.

"What!" Katie exclaimed. She waved her hands around in the air. "Isn't this a group assignment? Shouldn't they be here, helping you?"

"It's ok," Jessie said uncomfortably. She was upset about them not showing up too, but she didn't want to make a scene. "I don't mind doing it. I'm sure they have a reason."

Katie glowered and watched Jessie with concern. She noticed the slight bags under her eyes and the slump in her shoulders. Next to her was a great big pile of work equipment. Obviously this was an assignment meant for more than one.

Katie suppressed a sigh. It was in Jessie' nature to be altruistic, but her altruism bordered on doormat occasionally. Katie knew that Bill and Jenny were aware of Jessie's hard working tendencies and were willing to exploit them fully.

Shaking her head but smiling tenderly, Katie reached over and tapped Jessie shoulder. When she turned Katie leaned forward and gently kissed the younger girl, using her left hand to stroke her face.

"Why don't you come back to my place?" Katie whispered when they broke away. Off Jessie's shocked look Katie grinned. "I intend nothing racy, Miss Sammler."

"But the assignment…"

"You can finish the rest at my house. You're finished with the science equipment."

Jessie continued to look hesitant so Katie grabbed her hand. "Come on Billie!" she pleaded. "Its crappy weather and really, who wants to hang around school at four thirty?"

Jessie needed no further persuasion. As they entered Katie bolted to the cupboards. "No study would be complete without Caaaaaaaaandy!" she waved sugared goods around. "I also have some potato chips and pop in here as well, I think."

"Wow," Jessie said in wonder. "My Mom hates me eating junk food even on my birthday."

"My Mom doesn't really care all that much," Katie said lightly. "So, more treats for me I suppose!"

An hour and a half later, Katie checked on Jessie who was in her study. "Jessie you haven't finished!" she gaped. "When's it due?"

"On Thursday," Jessie said weakly. "I didn't know there was so much work."

Katie glowered. 'It would have been fine if her group had helped her,' she thought.

Pausing, she regarded her girlfriend. Jessie was slumped on the floor, her eyes glazed and unfocused.

"Jessie," Katie said mock sternly. "Time for a study break."

They were up in Katie room, both sitting on the floor and munching on potato chips. "I can't believe the school year is over," Jessie ruefully said. "Where'd it go?"

"Yeah, I swear it was September yesterday," Katie grinned. She paused, "I remember when I was a kid time used to drag and now, like, there suddenly isn't enough time."

"I know," Jessie said dreamily. "Time should just stop sometimes."

For a long moment both girls stared at each other, enjoying their connection. It was strange, to be so aware and in sync with another individual. Both could hear each other's breath coming in and out with the rise and fall of their chests.

"So," Katie interrupted the moment, feeling uncomfortable with its intensity. Jessie had to shake her head, as if coming out of daze. "Grace still part of the Gay/Straight Alliance?"

"I don't think there is one," Jessie admitted sadly. "Grace and Mr. Dimitri were the driving forces behind it, and now he's gone and Grace doesn't seem to have to heart to pick it back up."

"So, I guess no dance then. " Katie frowned. "Probably a good idea."

"Why do you say that?" Jessie asked, irrationally feeling offended.

"Well, I doubt it would have been a success. I mean, most kids, gay or straight would be too embarrassed to come and any gay kids who go as a couple would probably get lynched or…" She trailed off when she saw Jessie's hurt face. She winced and inwardly cursed herself. "I'm sorry, that was dumb."

"No, you're right I guess." Jessie said, suddenly overcome as she looked down at her hands. Sniffling Jessie tried to wipe the tears prickling her eyes.

"Jess," Katie said, moving over and wrapping her arms around her.

"Its n-nothing," Jessie hiccupped. " It's just… if a gay kid went and everyone would just look at them like they'd be some big freak and…" she trailed off and Katie could see Jessie drop her gaze down, and suddenly Katie had a terrible sinking feeling the 'everyone' Jessie was talking about was her family. Jessie sniffed," It's not even fair," Her voice hitched. "Because, I…I just really want to dance with you."

Neither girl could say anything as that statement hung in the air. Katie heart beat rapidly as she held on for dear life to the girl in her arms. 'That does it, I'm falling for her," she thought ruefully. Attempting to calm her beating heart, she extracted herself from Jessie and turning on her CD as Billie Holiday's "God Bless the Child" began to play.

"Dance with me?" Katie asked solemnly.

Feeling her throat contract with emotion, Jessie could only nod. Holding each other gingerly, both girls began to sway to the warm melody that wafted through the room.

"And God Bless the child who's got his own.

Who's got his own…"

"Judy!" Lily waved to her sister as she and Grace entered Booklovers. "Jake, come over here!"

"She doesn't get that this is our work place." Judy growled to Jake as they both waved Lily and Grace over. Jake just smirked and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you haven't heard the news!" Lily said cheerfully.

Judy shifted and looked at her sister dubiously "Does Rick…"

"Grace has been nominated for the Young Writers Award!" Lily's said loudly, her voice overlapping her sister as she shot Judy a deft warning look. Judy heeded it and stayed silent.

"Honey, that's great," Jake grinned widely. She drew his daughter into an embrace.

"Its nothing," Grace muffled voice protested.

"It's definitely something," Jake gushed. He motioned towards a table. "I believe celebrations are in order, so how about a meal on the house, Pumpkin!"

"Dad!" Grace laughed, blushing as she lightly swatted her father. "I'm seventeen; I'm too old for names."

"But not too old for a meal on the house! Lily, would you like anything?"

"A muffin, thanks Jake." Her ex-husband nodded and walked off. Turing to Grace, she asked, "What was the book you wanted?"

"Fahrenheit 451. It's for an English assignment."

"Science fiction over to the far left." Judy called as her niece walked away. She then turned and glared at her sister.

"What!" Lily said defensively.

"You haven't told Rick, have you?"

"Well, not exactly." Lily then bristled as her sister looked shocked. "I only found out it's definitely a baby a few days ago, and Rick is so busy with trying to organize some hotel deals that I don't want to…"

"Face this!" Judy interrupted.

"That's not true. It's finding the right time to tell him. You said it yourself it's a pretty big deal."

"He has a right to know." Judy said, sipping her drink. "Since he was involved and all."

"I know Ok." Lily snapped. "It's just…wait, what if Jake comes back?"

"Casanova? No, he's probably found some pretty thing to flirt with. Now," Judy lowered her voice. "Why are you so scared of Rick all of a sudden?"

"It's just…" Lily sighed with frustrated. "I've thought I was pregnant with Rick's baby before… and he didn't take it that well."

"Oh, and you think it'll be the same now?"

"Of course!" Lily insisted. "Everything is crazy for us now. I mean, what with blended families, him marginally employed and my insane radio job our life is so full. I just don't see how anything else could fit!"

"Yeah," Judy attempted to keep the jealously from her voice. A nasty glower flickered over her face as she thought maliciously 'Here she is, complaining again about how her life is too full with wonderful things.'

Judy automatically felt ashamed of feeling resentful of her sister. A new baby was a shock to anyone, she imagined somewhat enviously. Judy hoped Lily didn't catch onto to her brief fit of jealously but thankfully Lily seemed too preoccupied to notice anything Judy was doing at the moment. Judy decided to weigh in her opinion.

"Well, when I first met Rick he was hard to pin down. He's always so distant, aloof…" Judy looked thoughtful. "I remember often thinking he was repressed."

Lily shot Judy a look of pure venom but Judy held up her hand. "He can get that way. However, I have to admit, there is more to Rick than that and it's not fair that I judged him. I think you have to stop judging him before he deserves judgment."

Lily pretended to glare at her sister, but she sighed and slumped. "When did you get so wise?"

"When I realized that counseling other people' love life is so much easier than dealing with my own!"

The two women regarded each other for a moment then burst into giggles.

Eli leafed through a book about the evolution of rock music. Unfortunately the book had very little pictures and Eli tried valiantly to read the whole chapter. However old problems reared their head and Eli soon found all the words to be nothing more than black indistinguishable mess. It reminded him too vividly of school, where he would concentrate all his effort on sport and popularity to ignore the fact that he was less able than the other students.

"So much for finding a book to enjoy, Jake." He thought bitterly.

Hearing footsteps, Eli stood up, expecting a customer. To his surprise, it was Grace.

"Hey, Eli" Grace grinned. "The music section, where else where you going to be?"

"I do actually work here," Eli said a tad more defensively than he meant. "I was just taking a break to check out this book."

"A book?"

"Yeah, who would have thunk it?" Eli chuckled, embarrassed.

"Let me see!"

"It's nothing!" Eli turned and returned the book to its place, embarrassed that his step- sister would laugh at him for trying to read a book about music. Turing to Grace he raised an eye-brow. "OK, what are YOU doing here?"

"I need a book." Grace paused, and then flushed proudly. "I was also chosen to represent Upton Sinclair at this national Writing Competition."

"Really, that's awesome. We should celebrate."

Grace rolled her eyes and poked Eli on the arm. "Ew, I know your idea of celebrating! I'm not trying that stuff ever again."

Eli lowered his voice and smiled. "What, weed? Everyone has a bad reaction the first time around. It gets heaps better the second time you try it." He paused. "Not that I'm encouraging you to try it again, since I work for your Dad and everything."

Grace chuckled and rolled her eyes. She then leant against the book shelf opposite Eli, obviously thinking deeply about something. Not wanting to interrupt, Eli waited until she was ready to speak.

"I have no idea why they chose me." She said finally. "But they have. The deal is I have to submit a piece of writing. Like the best that I've ever done."

"I'm sure you have heaps of choices then."

"Hardly. There is one piece though, I wrote it when I was upset over, over that thing a three weeks ago."

"Oh, right." Eli surmised that Grace must be referring to that creepy teacher who Grace had the hots for.

"It's kind of personal, you know?" Grace couldn't look Eli in the eye. "Like, I don't mention any names or anything but it's a snap shot of how I felt in a moment. It's like, showing a part of your life to a bunch of strangers who don't know you and can just sit back and judge your piece. It's kinda scary."

"Well, I, uh, heard that the art that transcends the mediocre is often something more powerful behind it, like an expression of an emotion of something. I mean," Eli shrugged. "It's up to you and everything. I know nothing about writing. Or art, I guess," he said ruefully, suddenly acutely embarrassed.

"No, thank you." Grace said sincerely. Eli could see the look of shock on her face, as if she was flabbergasted that he said something half- way intelligent. 'Not surprised, doesn't happen often.' He thought sullenly.

Suddenly, Eli saw with clarity the difference between the two eldest children of the Manning-Sammler clan. Here Grace was, strong, determined and ambitious desperate to get out of Illinois and follow her passion for writing and now she had the opportunity for a real break. And here he was, the most popular guy in high school who now was stuck working in a bookstore and hopelessly unable to see where he was going. Grace had no idea how lucky she was.

"So, what else is up?" Eli said, wanting to break the silence.

Grace twisted her face unhappily. "Nothing. I hate school. I'm so over it." And she was. Everything about Upton Sinclair reviled her, the cliques, the bitchiness and repetitive mindless study.

"I just so desperately," Grace's voice faulted slightly with emotion. "I just want to get out of here."

"I get that." Eli said quietly.

"I'm being stupid." Grace looked embarrassed. "Anyway, I probably should find this book. Are you going to be around much?"

"Yeah, I mean my Mom needs to be taken care of for a few days, but I'll spend a couple days at Dad's. Why?"

"Oh," Grace rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly. "Since I've been nominated I have to give a speech on the impact of this year's English syllabus for a bunch of boring old adults at 'The English and Arts Fair'. My mom's got some appointment on that day so she's taking the car and…"

"Grace, Grace, it's OK." Eli interrupted, waving his hands dismissively. "I'll give you a ride."

"Seriously?"

Eli snorted. "It's no big deal. I mean, it's not as if I have anything better to do," he said lightly, chuckling uneasily.

"Oh my God, Eli you're the best!" Grace enthused. She turned ands grabbed a book of the shelf, and with a parting smile, turned and walked away. Eli watch Grace head to the waiting arms of her mother, who laughed and loudly congratulated Grace while ushering her to sit down to a meal. For the first time in a long time, Grace smiled and Eli felt relieved and jealous at once. He saw Jake wander over and rest his hand on Grace's shoulder, and both he and Lily looked at Grace with unabashed pride in their eyes.

Taking a slow breath, Eli turned and walked away.