Cathartic Moments
This story is AU from the "Experience is the Teacher". Basically think of it as an alternative ending if Mr. Zwick and Co. had the allotted 22 instead of 19 eps. Stupid ABC. For the purpose of the story, Karen is still in hospital. Everything remains intact from "Experience is the Teacher".
Disclaimer: This fic is designed for non-profit use only. I own nafink. NAAAAFINK. It's all Mr. Zwick and Co. and the good people at ABC who used to and abused the show mercilessly. Good work ABC, you fickle sods
Feedback- thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far- I've read what you have said and it means everything to me and inspires me to continue to work on this rewarding and challenging story. After you read this chapter, please take two minutes out of your time and review. I'm needy.
And, as always, shout out to my incredible, wonderful, koala loving beta reader, Karen. Thank you so much.
Chapter Five
Twenty minutes prior…
Cautiously, Jessie ducked her head inside the kitchen door. Seeing it empty, she heaved a sigh of relief and hurried inside. "Katie, come in," she hissed.
"You know your crazy behavior is just going to make everyone more suspicious," Katie said dryly, strolling casually in. "Try and act less hyper, Billie."
"Shut up," Jessie faux growled. She saw Katie pout and she giggled, stepping forward and swiftly kissed her firmly on the mouth.
Hand in hand, both girls wandered in to the living room. "Dad?" Jessie hollered. She glanced around the empty halls, "Lily?"
"They're out," Zoe suddenly popped into view and wandered down the stairs.
Jessie dropped Katie's hand.
"Oh, ok," Jessie frowned, "Where?"
"I don't know. They said 'going out," Zoe said blithely, looking at Jessie as if it was an adequate answer.
Jessie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Grace?"
"Studying. But I wouldn't go near her," Zoe's voice lowered. "She's being a bitch."
"Really?" Jessie said gleefully, ideas already forming in her mind. She flushed as enticing images flew by. "You've still got homework, right?"
"Yes," Zoe grumped. "It's so unfair, I'm young. School is meant to be a place where you expand your social horizons. You don't have time to finish that AND do stupid homework," she glanced at Katie. "Hey Katie."
Katie was highly amused at Zoë's outburst. "Hey."
Jessie sighed with irritation. "I know, homework sucks but you should really just go and do it."
"Why?" Zoe asked mischievously. "I want to stay here with you."
"You can't," Jessie snapped, balling her fists in frustration. Next to her, she heard Katie chuckle. Feeling greatly irked, Jessie tried a sly tactic. "I'll give you cookies."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, I've got some left over from Mom, they're with vanilla icing. But only if you go up and finish ALL your homework." Jessie narrowed her eyes and sweetly said, "Now."
Zoe was not oblivious to the tension in the room. But the cookies sounded too tempting. "Ok," she said shrewdly. "I'll leave you two alone." Before Jessie could respond, Zoe whirled around and bounded up the stairs.
Jessie groaned in frustration. "I cannot believe her," she growled. She turned and eyed a still amused Katie. "And you, thinking she was funny. You were practically egging her on."
"I wasn't egging! See, no eggs," Katie made a show of examining herself. "I would have told you if I brought eggs."
Jessie shook her head bemusedly. "You are a goofball," she said, before giving into her impulses and kissing Katie.
They kissed hungrily, expressing their desire which had been forcefully repressed during school hours. However, there was something titillating and erotic about their clandestine make out session. The fact that they could be caught only seemed to fuel the younger girl's desire, leaving her torn between wanting and fear. Jessie was only beginning to accept how Katie could not only stimulate her mind, but also her body
Feeling adventurous, Jessie broke the kiss and indicated towards the couch. Katie needed no further encouragement and within moments the two of them were splayed on the couch, grasping at each other. Between kisses Jessie mumbled "we should stop," but made no attempt to follow through with her statement.
Never allowing her lips to leave Jessie's, Katie murmured. "Yes, stop," She then pulled her head away from a dazed and very flushed Jessie. "So this is me, stopping."
Jessie was still half on top of Katie, and she struggled against the still relatively new sensation of hormones crashing through her body. For a moment she remembered how derisive she was as a child of adults losing their wits in relationships. She smiled at her own naivety.
"Just one more," she whispered, leaning over and languidly kissed Katie.
So immersed she was that she didn't hear her father shut the kitchen door. It was only when she heard his voice waft from the kitchen that Jessie bolted upright, heart pounding manically and her face flushed.
She blearily saw her father's face register shock and confusion. Lily bumped into Rick, and then gaped at the two girls who were now upright, unsuccessfully trying to look normal.
"Oh," Lily said.
For a moment nothing was said as all four people wordlessly attempted to accept the situation. Jessie's breath was coming out in short, sharp bursts and her body was humming with adrenaline. But her mind felt heavy, like cement thickly congealed.
Next to her, Katie's body sagged, in an attempt to pretend she was invisible.
Lily glanced at her husband, whose mouth was still hanging open in shock. She hadn't seen anything explicit, but the expressions on Rick and Jessie's faces were enough.
"Guys, Rick and I are just going out to the Chinese shop for take out," Lily said the first thing that arrived in her addled mind. "We'll bring some back just after we get my coat from my room." She forced a wide fake smile to stretch over her face. She glanced at Rick, who had stopped gaping but was unable to look at his daughter, so he stared blankly at a wall instead. Lily reached over and manhandled Rick up the stairs, leaving a stunned Jessie and Katie alone.
Lily closed the door of their room with a thud. "Are you OK?" she asked, rushing to Rick's side.
"I don't know," Rick was sitting on the bed, his eyes still glazed with shock. "I walked in there, and for a moment it looked like they were," Rick was unable to force the words out. He shot a desperate look at Lily. "They can't have," he whispered. "There's no way."
"Oh, honey," Lily wrapped her arms around Rick, who leaned his head against her shoulder. Lily stroked Rick's hair and thought of what to say. It was painfully apparent the reality of the situation. She understood Rick's confusion, though. Until she had discovered the girls sleeping she too was completely oblivious. Lily knew that in the midst of the new baby, her discovery of Jessie and Katie that morning had completely left her mind. She considered telling Rick now, but realized it would only further agitate him.
"Well, it's possible," Lily mumbled, realizing the irony of the words. She was aware of Rick sagging even further, his hair wilting.
"I don't understand," Rick said faintly. "I thought she was dating Tad?"
"Oh, Rick," Lily continued to stroke his hair. "I think we both know Tad hasn't been in the picture for a while."
Rick lowered his head. He felt everything was moving in painful, slow motion. His body was heavy, like lead but his mind was buzzing with a thousand different voices, all different, all confusing. He shook his head, trying to dislodge them, desperate to find some way to silence them.
Lily looked at him sympathetically. She knew that he was in no state to properly deal with the situation now. "How about I go get the take out by myself and drop Katie home?" she asked gently.
"Not hungry."
"Ok, well, I'll still," Lily stuttered awkwardly, not quite sure what to say. She took a deep breath and decided to broach the subject bluntly. "You need to talk to her," Lily said.
Rick wearily looked at her for the first time, dismay and shock naked on his face. "I will. Just not quite yet."
Lily bit back her retort that was sitting on the edge of her tongue. "It's not my right to butt in," Lily thought, going against her natural instincts to meddle. She looked at her despondent husband and murmured "Ok."
Not trusting herself to keep silent, Lily turned and walked out of the room, leaving Rick to his thoughts.
Jessie and Katie sat on the opposite edge of the couch, too awkward to even look at each other. Both felt mortified, as dread spread over of them, dragging them down and dulling their senses. They listening numbly to the sound of the clock and with each tick the sound grew louder and louder until Katie could no longer stand it.
"Jessie," she whispered, panicked. "Jess, please, just look at me."
Katie's stomach lurched as Jessie slowly turned towards her, her face a tight, rigid mask. Her skin was pale, almost sallow, like all her color had been sucked from her face. It was only her eyes that gave her away, eyes that held embarrassment, regret, fear and anger beneath its blue surface.
Katie was horrified. "Jessie, are you OK?" she asked dumbly.
Jessie giggled. It was an odd reaction, and Katie flinched at its unnatural sound. "I can't believe this is happening." She said in a dazed, sickly sweet voice. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."
"I know," impulsively Katie moved towards her. Jessie unconsciously shrank back, and Katie stopped, stung. "We'll work it out," Katie continued thickly, striving to keep eye contact. She opened her eyes wide; sincere in hoping Jessie would see her optimism and be heartened. Jessie gazed at her, and nodded slowly, yet there was doubt in her eyes, doubt that Katie felt incapable of allaying. A long uncomfortable silence again stretched over the room and both girls started when Lily's bright voice broke the deadlock.
"I'm going to get dinner," she said brightly, but with a tangible undercurrent of concern. She glanced at Katie. "Katie, why don't I take you home on the way?"
Katie wanted to defy her, to stand by Jessie, to prove her loyalty. But Katie now felt horribly like an alien, an intruder that had rocked the Sammler household. She buckled under the weight of obligation and nodded a silent concurrence to leave. She stood up and walked to the door, but not before she turned to look at Jessie again. Their eyes locked and an unspoken agreement passed between them. They knew now that everything was different, and both were unsure what changes were about to occur. Katie bid Jessie a soft farewell then followed Lily out of the house.
Jessie only now felt as if she was waking up. It had been at least five minutes since the unwelcome intrusion and now Jessie wondered if it had been all a bad dream.
She dreaded her father's appearance yet desired it, yearning to discover what was to unfold. It was just so surreal; her shock slowly dissipating and replaced with a burning, buzzing panic.
Yet she kept a calm exterior even standing up and rearranging the pillows on the couch. Once she had finished, Jessie felt another presence in the room. Sighing wearily, she turned to face her father.
"Dad," Jessie said softly.
Rick nodded curtly. Father's face mirrored daughters', each trying to keep hold of emotions threatening to overwhelm them. Almost as if nothing had happened, Rick walked over to sit on the chair opposite Jessie.
"What I saw," Rick said, his voice hoarse. "Was it…" Rick struggled to get the words out. "Are you involved?"
Jessie lowered her head, the weight of the truth crushing her. The silence felt damning.
"I see." Rick's voice was neutral. "How long?"
"Three months," Jessie whispered, eyes watering.
"Oh," Rick's mouth opened and closed like a fish, and he brought a nerveless hand up to rub his forehead. The only sounds he was capable of making were choked wheezes, the impact of what his daughter was saying impossible for him to register, to fit into a box and hide away deep in his subconciousness.
Jessie looked at her father, profoundly sad at his reaction. But she knew him well enough. Without saying a word, Jessie stood up and walked out of the room, leaving her father sitting alone on the couch, reeling and still.
Karen opened her door and was stunned to see Henry. "Henry?" she said. "What, ah, what are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood visiting my niece," he answered, smiling nervously. He indicated to the living room. "May I come in?"
"Of course," Karen said and ushered him in. An awkward pause commenced.
"Can I get you anything…?"
"I know it's late…"
Both smiled, embarrassed at speaking at the same time. Henry indicated for Karen to continue.
"Don't get me wrong, Doctor Higgins…"
"After everything Karen, you can call me Henry." Henry said quietly.
"Henry." Karen allowed herself to be corrected. "I am surprised, and happy that you are here," Henry smiled warmly at her, and Karen felt a flush creep up her neck. She berated herself for her weakness. "But I would like to know, why exactly are you at my home at eight o'clock in the evening?"
"Well, as I said I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I would see how you are. Maybe we can get you off that cane."
"I see," Karen limped to the couch and sat down. Henry eagerly followed.
"Get help around here?" he asked.
"My son is basically living with me full time while I recover." Karen explained. "He visits his dad during the day sometimes but for the most part he's here, helping me out. Jessie is staying over there for a few days to compensate, but she'll be coming back at the end of the week as per our custody arrangement."
"That's good," Henry said softly. "We wouldn't want you to be lonely."
Karen smiled and looked at Henry intently. "Why don't you tell me the real reason you are here?" She asked.
Henry momentarily looked at the floor then raised his head to meet Karen's inquisitive eyes. "How inappropriate do you want me to get?"
Karen exhaled. "Henry," she sighed.
"I may be overstepping my bounds here," Henry said quickly. "But I just want to know, do you feel as if there is something between us?"
"You're right, this is overstepping your bounds," Karen commented dryly.
Henry absorbed this. He cocked his head and looked at Karen. "Would you like me to leave now?" he asked slowly.
Karen struggled against her better instincts. Her non-answer seemed to fuel Henry. "One outing," He said earnestly. "I would like to get to know you better."
"How much more of me do you want to see?" Karen snorted exasperatedly. "You saw me at my worst in that hospital."
"I don't think that was your worst, Karen," Henry replied honestly. "The woman I saw at the hospital, she was something. You're just, like some powerful force," Karen blushed with embarrassment. "It's just…you make me want to be around you," Henry continued huskily.
"Oh well," Karen's hands fluttered nervously. She felt exposed, totally thrown. A part of her felt deeply resentful that this man could challenge her, so carelessly throw her off her axis. But she also yearned to feel her world shaken up, to allow someone in again.
"One outing," Henry repeated softly.
"One outing," Karen mused. She jumped slightly at the ring of the telephone. Grasping her cane, she struggled up, but was pleased at her ability to walk almost normally. "Maybe I can squeeze in one outing," Karen grinned at Henry, who looked thrilled at this. He continued to watch Karen as she picked up the phone.
"Hello?" she said, still smiling warmly at Henry. Her eyes then widened in fear. "What do you mean, 'its Jessie'" she snapped, clearly worried. The look of fear seeped away and was replaced by incredulity. "Excuse me?" she snorted. She chuckled uneasily. "Are you sure you have everything-I see, no, no I'll be there straight away." She slammed the receiver down.
"Karen?" Henry asked, standing up in concern. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm sorry but I have to leave now Dr. Higgins." Karen said in a neutral, business-like tone. She grabbed her cane and her car keys and hobbled directly to the door. "Let yourself out."
Henry was stunned. He wished Karen goodnight and walked out the door into the starry night.
Lily and Karen arrived at the Manning Manor at the same time. Lily was wrestling with the take out bags as Karen approached. "Where's Rick?" Karen asked brusquely.
"So he told her," Lily thought. She gulped. "Upstairs."
Karen didn't even acknowledge her as she turned to walk away. Unable to help herself, Lily called to her "Karen!"
Karen turned slowly, her eyes a blaze with fierce defiance. It was almost as if she was willing Lily to butt in, as she drew herself up to her full height, a proud woman itching for a fight.
For the first time, Lily felt intimidated by Karen. Her words stuck in her throat. Feebly, Lily just shook her head and Karen's face subtly registered surprise and satisfaction. Without another word Karen turned and walked determinedly into the house, not using her cane at all, the only remnants of her accident was a subtle limp that didn't seem to bother her. Feeling a growing sense of dread Lily waited a few moments then followed closing the front door with a thud.
Both Zoe and Grace were waiting for her. "I'm glad you're home Mommy." Zoe said eagerly. She indicated to the bags. "Is that dinner?"
"Yes!" Lily said brightly. She walked to the kitchen as her daughters followed.
"Good I'm so hungry," Zoe said enthusiastically. Without taking a breath she asked. "Was that Jessie's Mom?"
"Mmmm hmm." Lily concentrated on unpacking the take out.
"She looked pissed." Grace commented.
"Why is she here?" Zoe asked.
"Rick and Karen just need to talk to Jessie." She noted Zoë's expression and answered her daughter's unasked question. "And no, it is none of our business and you are to leave them alone until they are finished."
"Ok," Zoe pouted. She grabbed some Hokken noodles. "Can I eat this in the living room?"
"Sure." Lily unpacked some more take out as Zoe left. She indicated to Grace. "Do you want some?"
Grace was looking at Lily now with a shrewd expression on her face. "What about Jessie?" she asked, leaning in.
"I told you it's none of our business!" Lily snapped.
"Has it anything to do with Katie?" Grace asked her curiosity piqued. Her mother's shock answered her question.
"Katie? Why would…how did you know?"
"Oh Mom! Come on," Grace groaned.
"So you know…"
"That they're dating!" Grace hissed quietly.
Lily looked at her daughter as if seeing her for the first time. "How long have you known?" she asked, her tone holding a tinge of accusation.
"For ages," Grace snorted.
"Did she tell you?" Lily asked, flummoxed.
"No, I could just read the neon fricking lights that have been blasting over her head for the last few months," Grace drawled.
Lily shook her head in confusion.
"So, are you going to help her?" Grace asked impatiently.
"Grace…"
"What?"
"It's not my place to butt in," Lily said sadly.
"Oh please Mom!" Grace snapped. "I may not believe that Jessie is some porcelain doll that must be protected at all costs but there is no way she should be alone in this."
"I want to help!" Lily protested. "I do. But for the moment, this is Rick and Karen's concern, and Jessie is their daughter…"
"Oh just listen to yourself!" Grace snapped savagely. "You sound as if Jessie has just murdered a whole bunch of people."
"I am not saying that at all!" Lily seethed, trying to keep her voice down so not to attract Zoë's attention. "Karen and Rick are trying to come to terms with this situation."
"What, that they have no idea what their daughter is really like?" Grace sneered. "That they're so shocked and disappointed their daughter could fall for a girl!" Grace took a breath then continued. "It's kinda like how some people reacted when someone fell for their English teacher."
"Oh Grace this is so not about you," Lily retorted wearily.
Grace's eyes flashed dangerously. "She shouldn't be alone. If you're such the wonderful step mother that you believe you are then you should help her." Glaring daggers at her mother, Grace grabbed a carton of take out and turned on her heels and stormed righteously away.
Lily let out a heavy sigh and cast a guilty look upstairs and wondered what was going on.