"Hidden Memories" - Chapter 5
Watching the other man slowly pace to and fro, Sisko took in a deep breath and steepled his hands decidedly in front of his chest. A gesture he had repeated so often before, indicating his firm attitude he would not let go, no matter the consequences. His expression deadpan but resolute, he was intently watching Telac.
"You know, why you're here, Captain?" The other man suddenly stopped in mid-stride, hands clasped behind his back. Slowly but deliberately he turned, taking a short step toward the small table with its two plain chairs where Sisko was waiting for Telac to voice his business to him.
"Actually I don't," Sisko replied in a firm voice, about to extend his answer and then deciding to hold back and let Telac make the first step. He had already heard about Telac's incredible plan from O'Brien and therefore knew that he was very likely to hear it first-hand now – though he couldn't say he was looking forward to it.
Telac nodded. Without another word he moved to the table and nonchalantly took the seat in front of Sisko, facing him with a seriousness that startled even the captain.
"I need data," was everything Telac said, his cold tone clearly indicating that he wouldn't allow any contradiction.
"What data?"
Telac made a vague gesture, snorting scornfully at the question, as if its answer was too obvious to be voiced aloud.
"About the wormhole. I need you to tell me about the wormhole. About your Celestial Temple as you may call it. I need you to tell me about its internal subspace structure, its neutrino flux sequence, the very details to lend my work the destructive power it needs. To cut it short, I want all the data that your Starfleet has available, on the internal structure of the wormhole."
Leaning back, Sisko didn't take his eyes off the other man. Telac might be serious, but so was Sisko. Very serious. Although O'Brien had already elaborated on Telac's plan to destroy the wormhole, Sisko hadn't really believed it to be true.
At first sight, it was ridiculous. How could anyone seriously project to blow up the wormhole linking the Alpha and the Gamma Quadrant? There were so many things to consider. Not only the bomb, the specifications that had to be applied to its warhead in order to match the exact neutrino sequence so that the destructive energy outburst actually made the steady subspace matrix of the wormhole collapse. Absently shaking his head, Sisko thought of the difficulties of such a wild-goose chase. But apart from the technical complications, he wasn't sure if Telac was actually aware of the fact that his bomb wouldn't even make it anywhere near the wormhole's entrance. If he had a ship and directly placed the device into the passage, it might have been possible but under the present circumstances – there wasn't even any chance the bomb could elude the regular sensor sweeps of the Federation's subspace relay system. Telac's plan was absurd and utopian – but somehow Sisko couldn't shake the feeling that this didn't even matter to the man.
"I can't give it to you. And I wouldn't do it if I could. I don't know what makes you think you can get away with such a deed but you should be aware of the consequences. Even trying to send a bomb to the wormhole will be considered an offense on the United Federation of Planets. Apart from the fact that your plan won't be successful, you'll have to officially account for your actions."
Telac shook his head, an expression of pure contempt crossing his face. His brow furrowed with disdain as he squarely held Sisko's gaze.
"Don't you dare make a fool of me, Captain. I'm very well aware of the difficulties I'll have to face and believe me, I've already undertaken every step necessary to make everything go off without a hitch. I'm not insane, Captain, I'm more sane than anyone else," he hissed, then regained some composure, taking in a deep breath and scowling at the other man.
"I'll just end what has unnecessarily begun four years ago, when your race made use of the passage leading to our world. You have never been asked but still you decided it on your own, planning to explore the unknown territory, intruding into our privacy, making the Gamma Quadrant one of your little adventure trips." Sisko could see the open hostility that was now almost distorting Telac's face, his former composure gone with the intense rage and hatred now so perceivable beyond his dark, cruel eyes.
"No one ever welcomed you here, Captain. But nevertheless you came and you brought with you only trouble and unrest by forcing other worlds to follow your principles. Obtruded principles by a race not satisfied with what it has already annexed. No. Your races, your United Federation of Planets, your adventurers never had enough. With the Alpha Quadrant so uninteresting, so familiar, so normal, you were more than delighted to have a new opportunity to gain new influence, new territories. You established colonies. On worlds already inhabited! How could you even dare? How could your Federation even dare intrude on other peoples privacies? Who are you to rob the freedom from others, to establish strafes in worlds not even your own?"
Telac's tirade was all but finished, when he suddenly turned his head, casting his gaze toward the floor. His eyes were so full of hatred and wrath that Sisko wasn't sure if he would ever make it out of the room alive.
"Yes you came, Captain, and you brought us war. And now I'm going to end this war. I'll close the passage. I'll make the Gamma Quadrant what it had been for centuries, for millennia before your disturbance of peace. And I'll make Felan III the authority it once had been."
Sisko's brow furrowed, not knowing how to tell – how to actually convince – Telac that one single, certainly futile terrorist attack would change nothing . "You don't believe in what your saying, do you?"
"I do, Captain Sisko, I do. I'll restore my planet's dignity. As soon as the wormhole is destroyed, Felan III will regain its former power. And then we'll restore peace. We'll never let it happen again."
It was absurd. Not only Telac's plan to close the wormhole but all his ideas. The man obviously twisted reality to his favor, though Sisko couldn't think of how to make him realize that he was wrong. That all his conception was a wrong and distorted version of reality.
To the best of his recollection, Felan III had never held any significant status within this territory of space. When he had consulted the computer's library back on the station, Felan III had been put as a planet fairly detached from outer worlds. It didn't even dispose of any larger space vessels, nor of any other necessary means to realize Telac's claims. With the planetary defense system in its orbit, the Felani were at best able to keep uninvited guests out of their homeworld. Expanding policies just didn't fit with them – not mentioning that they were all but viable.
"What about the Dominion?"
Telac seemed to be caught off guard as he faced Sisko in confusion, his hatred replaced by some nondescript emotion that was hard to place.
"You forgot about the Dominion," Sisko bargained thoughtfully, not missing Telac's slightest reaction. "If there's anybody claiming to police order and peace in the Gamma Quadrant, it's the Dominion. I don't think they'll agree to share power."
"You apparently don't understand. It's not about the Dominion. They're far away, busy with their own business. I'm talking about Felan III, about the outer territory of the Gamma Quadrant. The Dominion has never claimed to control these regions so utterly uninteresting to their aims. But still we do need some order-making authority. We need peace. We have to reestablish order!"
"The Dominion won't share your opinion," Sisko held, still determined to stop this madness.
Telac obviously was about to follow up with still more vehement ideological ideas, but kept silent as he shook his head in resignation. Chuckling humorlessly, he let out a long sigh, before he finally resumed the conversation.
"And even if they would, it's no business of yours, Captain. The only thing you have to contribute, is the data I need. It's that easy."
"And I'm sorry that I can't give it to you. I won't change my mind, Telac."
A short but intense silence followed Sisko's last statement, then the other man spoke up again, slightly shaking his head and smiling a sad smile. It was too calm and rational a reaction to bode well.
"How amazing. Your doctor said the same…"
"What about Dr. Bashir?" Sisko asked, feeling his own pent-up rage slowly rise and filling in his chest.
Drawing himself up, Telac sighed. "How I hate these discussions. They're long and exhausting and in the end you never get anywhere." Turning to Sisko he clasped again his hands behind his back. "It was the same with Julian. Brave young boy, he was. He'd said exactly the same, refused to help me, told me that I was mad and that he'd never agree to my plans. Believe me, Captain, it has taken me great effort to make him realize that he was wrong."
Almost feeling the bile rise in his throat, Sisko suddenly stood up, too. He couldn't bare hearing Telac speak in that irreverent way of Julian. Not after what he had actually done to the young man….
"Torture isn't the right means to make anybody voluntarily believe in your truth, Telac," the captain scornfully said through clenched teeth.
"It isn't," the other man replied coldly, "but it is effective. Given time, you'll see that."
When Sisko didn't reply, Telac nodded.
"I'll leave you some time. You may consider my offer till then – but keep one thing in mind: You and your friends are completely at my mercy. As well as Julian's health."
Before Telac could turn round and leave, he was called back by Sisko's angry voice.
"What about Julian? Where have you taken him?"
Telac stopped, fixing Sisko with his chilly stare. "As I said, your doctor's health is completely in my hands – or let's say, in yours."
Without another word he left, making Sisko only slowly realize what the last words really meant.
"Any news?"
Jadzia was still sitting with her back against the uneven wall of the cell, her legs folded in front of her. She seemed tired, though he couldn't tell if she was just missing sleep or weary because of the last days' enormous mental stress. When he settled himself next to her, leaning back and gently rubbing his eyes, her frown involuntarily deepened. Even though he couldn't see her with closed eyes, her expression must have been one of worry and seriousness.
"How did it go?" she gently asked, waiting patiently for Sisko to settle in and share his experience on the encounter.
"Not very well... I suppose."
"You suppose?"
Sighing shortly, Sisko took away his hand and tried to compose himself. It was hard to fight down the anger their little conversation had provoked within him and it was harder still not to give in to the urge now and thump the wall behind him. Being so helpless and without an alternative just furthered his annoyance. Not wanting to repeat Telac's ludicrous version of reality, he cut it short: "Telac plans on destroying the wormhole."
He could see Jadzia's bewilderment as she all at once sat up completely. "So it's really true?"
"I guess it is," Sisko said tiredly, not sure how to estimate the new turn of events. "Though I can't see anything we could do about it, except wait." And in an afterthought he added: "How's your work going, Chief?"
After Telac had both Bashir and O'Brien lead out of the cell, only O'Brien had come back some hours later, telling them about Telac's work and that he was expected to take part in finishing the bomb. They didn't have too much time to discuss the matter, when O'Brien had been called back again – and hadn't returned yet when Sisko had been called to see Telac, himself.
"Too well, I guess," O'Brien snorted. "Most of the inner systems are already online – or will be within the next few hours. I'd say, one or two days more and the bomb will be ready for launch. They're already running test sequences with miniature probes; small and harmless enough to actually trigger the wormhole. I tried to delay the progress the best I could without anyone noticing, though they're already growing suspicious. Telac has one of the guards assigned to watch every step I take and he just doesn't strike me as a very easy-structured type."
"Chief, according to your estimation, how much destruction could the bomb make, if it should actually reach the wormhole?"
The Irishman's frown deepened as he was obviously feeling uneasy about an answer. "Well, if it really reached the wormhole, I'd say, we'd better be back in the Alpha Quadrant by then."
Jadzia's mouth gaped open. "You mean, there really is the danger that…"
"…Telac could destroy the Celestial Temple," Sisko ended the sentence. "We have to prevent this by all means."
"There's still hope, Captain. When Telac asked me to help I wondered what there could be left to do… It's the shield emitters. Telac doesn't know how to get his bomb into the wormhole without it being detected in the first place. He's got the bomb but he still doesn't know how to fire it without anyone noticing and destroying it before it reaches its aim," O'Brien elaborated, giving them a thoughtful look.
"And he won't know if we don't tell him." Sisko was anything but glad about the direction this discussion was leading into.
Dax wasn't too convinced yet. "Why doesn't he just bring it aboard a ship, set course toward the wormhole and place it directly into the passage's opening? That would be much easier."
Shaking his head, O'Brien took a deep breath. "The bomb's too heavy and bulky. He'd need at least three times as big a ship to transport it and from what I know the Felani don't dispose of such heavy vessels." And in an afterthought he added: "They're no spacetravelling world. The planet might have some survey ships, small cargo vessels or short-range runabouts, but nothing as big as being of any use to Telac's plan. The only way he can place the bomb, is to directly fire it from the planet's surface. And without the specific shield emitters it won't make it past the subspace relay system."
"At least this is good news." Sisko sighed and recalling his conversation with Telac some time earlier, he said: "There's also another thing still missing in Telac's scheme. He still needs the right specification to adjust the energy modulation in the warhead to the exact neutrino flux within the wormhole to work the most destruction and make its inner subspace matrix collapse."
"He could have learned that from Julian," O'Brien said in confusion, "Such specifications are not secret. Julian would have known. Even by checking the runabout's data base Telac should have easily been able to find out about the internal neutrino flux."
"Well, whatever happened, let's be at least glad he hasn't." His face almost completely expressionless, the captain seemed absorbed in his own thoughts.
"We have to play for time. I'm sure DS9 already knows what happened. We have to gain enough time to delay Telac's plans as long as possible." Jadzia wasn't glad about the idea either, but there wasn't much choice left. They had to prevent Telac from finishing his bomb, no matter what may come.
It was when Sisko didn't answer, when he took a deep breath, clearly showing his uneasiness, that the young Trill knew that he hadn't told them everything. Some sort of misgiving already told her, that their plan wasn't as simple as she had thought.
"It's not that easy, Old Man. I wish it were, but it isn't. Telac still has Julian – and he'll use him to make us follow his orders. Not telling him what he wants to hear is very likely to involve Dr. Bashir, and make his situation even worse."
"You mean, they'll torture him to make us talk," O'Brien slowly grasped, shooting them a confused look.
"But Benjamin, we can't give Telac the information, that's just impossible." Sisko could sense Jadzia's bewilderment but also her fear of losing Julian.
"I know," he said, wishing that he didn't. "And you can be sure that Telac won't get any data. And that's an order. Not one of us will give him any information he needs, neither the specifications of the wormhole nor any actual help on his shield emitters. Our only hope lies with being rescued in time. Until then we have to hold out."
O'Brien incredulously shook his head. "But what about Julian? We'll risk his life! He'll be tortured! He'll probably even be killed…"
"I know that, Chief, and believe me, I'm sorry. I wish I could help Julian but under the circumstances no one can. Neither you, nor Lieutenant Dax, nor I. The only chance left is to keep him alive long enough for Starfleet to find us." Rubbing over his grainy eyes, Sisko let out a long sigh, wishing that it wasn't true, wishing that everything was a nightmare he could finally wake up from. But it wasn't. It was reality, and he had to face it.
"I…see," the Irishman mumbled, turning and leaning his head back against the wall.
They didn't talk any more. There was nothing left to say.
He was sorry. He was so sorry that he'd rather die himself than submit his crewman to more pain. But the choice wasn't his. He could do absolutely nothing to save Bashir from whatever Telac was planning. Even if he had given his own life, there was nothing he could do right now.
The awareness brought no relief, though. Nothing was freeing him from the indescribable guilt he felt, the crushing weight of remorse.
He could only imagine what the last three months must have been like for Bashir. Crashed down on an unknown planet, captured and abused for maniacal aims, broken by a man trying to seize control over a considerable territory of space. And there had been no one to come for him. No one to help him endure the torment. Sisko could barely imagine what Julian must have felt when he had finally realized that he was on his own.
He could even feel it himself. Now, in the dark, lying on the side and waiting for recovery time to end. He could feel it – the creeping helplessness, his own mind making him doubt his resoluteness. And the loneliness. Yes, he could feel it – how Julian must have felt.
How long had he held on? How much pain had he endured before breaking under the merciless pressure? He didn't even dare imagine. Sisko knew Julian, knew his eagerness, his compassion, his sense for justice – and he knew that it had just made things worse. He had seen him in the end. There was not much left of the young, buoyant Julian he had once known, the man he still wanted back by all means.
He hated his position, hated having to give orders that were very likely to destroy another man's life.
But there was no choice. He was the captain. And he had to save as many lives as he could. Allowing Telac to finish his bomb, to actually destroy the wormhole was beyond discussion. He would do anything to stop this maniac, to save the link between the quadrants. To save the Prophets. But he was also very well aware of the silent anger that was starting to rise in his chest. An anger directed towards those who had led him here, who had given him enough hints to find Telac, find out what he intended to do. Who had send him to prevent the extinction of their kind…
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep that anger from clamoring in his chest.
Oh yes, they had led him here, shown him everything he had to know to save them. But the truth was, he had been used. He was the Emissary, a puppet of the prophets, and they had used him for their very own aims. Obviously they didn't care about his captivity, nor did they care that his orders, his conviction would finally destroy another man's life.
In that very moment he hated them with his whole heart, hated them with a wrath he had never imagined he would dare to bring up.
But the most stifling and suffocating truth of reality was, that he could do absolutely nothing to change their current situation. Nothing to avoid the unavoidable. He was captured in a flow of time when there was nothing he could do but watch. Watch and fear what the future held for them.
He had to follow his conviction, his principles – his position – even if it meant to lose Julian…
He didn't know how much time had passed when he was finally called to Telac again. It might have been hours, or even one or two days. He wasn't sure of it, had lost every sense of time in the arbitrarily arranged artificial environment – though it didn't even matter in the end.
Sisko was standing in the middle of the small room, its cool, unpleasant and oppressive atmosphere only furthering his inner uneasiness. He didn't even have to take a look around to know that it was the same room where he had first witnessed the encounter of Telac and Bashir…
"I suppose you've already made up your mind?"
Not reacting to the slippery voice that penetrated the stifling silence, he kept staring in front of him. A few seconds later, though, the other man was entering his view.
He looked fine. Almost happy. Their last conversation apparently hadn't had any too deep effect on Telac's egotism. Smiling his perfect smile, he was waiting for Sisko to answer, arms folded in front of his chest. Telac was taking him in with a penetrating gaze, making Sisko feel even more uneasy, though he tried to clamp down on his nervousness the best he could.
The captain inhaled deeply and braced himself against the squeamishness that came rushing over him like a wave engulfing around a drowning man. He had already played it through so many times in his mind. But still, standing now in front of his captor and telling him the decisive words came almost as an effort he was barely able to make.
"I have. And I'm sorry, but I'll have to refuse."
Telac nodded, ever smiling. A sadistic, self complacent smile it was, making Sisko wish to violently smash it with his fist. He held himself in, though, not willing to lose control in front of Telac's eyes. Instead he kept scowling at him, the only thing he could actually do in his present condition; where he felt very much like a will-less puppet on his captor's strings.
"Well, I can't say that I hadn't expected these words. But very well then, Captain. I've already warned you. In the end I'll have you talk, believe me."
Only a few seconds – and a short beckon by Telac – later, he was brought in.
He seemed proportionally all right, though Sisko knew that even if his outward appearance was fine, his inner one was not. He intently watched Julian being walked over and strapped to the wall, the young man's expression blank and his stare broken. He didn't even offer the merest resistance, though he involuntarily winced when his injured arm was roughly bent upward and fitted into the iron brackets. When the guards left, he didn't look up, just kept absently staring toward the floor in front of him. With his body so still and motionless, he barely seemed alive at all…
"Shall we begin?" Telac was facing Sisko again, rounding the captain as he cast a long look toward his second prisoner. "I need the specifications. As you know it's the last piece still missing in my perfect puzzle of a new world. If you could just tell me what I need to hear, I'll swear that I'll never bother you or your crewmen again."
When Sisko didn't give any response, Telac nodded – and only seconds later Sisko wished himself far, far away.
Julian's sudden cries were so heart-wrenching, so full of misery and hopelessness that Sisko was barely able to endure them. He didn't even have to look into the young man's face to know that he was almost past the verge. He would lose him. Writhing and tearing, Bashir struggled frantically to free himself, convulsing with pain as his mind was slowly pushed towards the abyss. Ever so slowly.
"That's enough," Sisko yelled, too incensed with rage himself. The words came sputtering out even before he was aware of them. "Make it stop!"
It didn't take another second and the cries subsided, turning instead into some sort of quiet sobbing. He could hear him unevenly gasp for air – and the sound almost made Sisko's stomach turn. He didn't look at Julian, couldn't endure the dead weight of guilt any longer.
"As you say, Captain. If you could just give me what I want, I swear, I'll give him back to you. I won't hurt him any more. Just give me what I need and he'll be safe."
Scowling at Telac, Sisko was barely able to hold back his emotions. His fists shook with rage as his chest filled with unspeakable hatred.
"He's not of any use for you any more. I suppose you had what you wanted. You dragged it out of him by force. So let him alone. I won't tell you the specifications and you know that. No one will. No matter how much you'll try to make me sway, I'll not help you. There's no need to make Julian suffer any longer," he shouted out, unable to control his own voice.
Telac's stare was icy and calculating, his vicious expression almost like a blow in Sisko's face. "There is, Captain. I don't think you got the whole point of all of this but somehow it doesn't even matter…"
"You're running out of time, Telac, and you know that," Sisko finally managed. He had to gain some time, had to involve Telac into conversation – give Julian enough time to re-gather some strength…
"Don't try to fool me. I know what you're alluding to. I hate to break it to you, but you're on your own. There'll be no one coming for you. No one will ever know you're here. Playing for time is senseless." He almost hissed the last word.
It was the way Telac spoke, his slowly growing anger and impatience so clearly perceivable beyond his dark eyes. He was feeling uneasy, no doubt to that. He was acting under pressure, no matter how much he tried to hide it. So Sisko's hope would probably come true. More than before he knew he had to keep Telac distracted, preventing him from hurting Julian even more. If he just knew it for sure, if Sisko just knew there was someone coming for them…
"Fine then…" Telac suddenly spat out. "Very fine. I've got other ways to get what I want."
Sisko wasn't sure he heard right. Startled about his unexpected change in demeanor, he tried to follow Telac's idea, though some voice deep within his heart already told him that those other ways wouldn't be any better than what Telac was doing right now.
"You don't even have to try the same with Lieutenant Dax and Chief O'Brien. None of them will talk," Sisko hurriedly said, wanting to prevent his other crewman from getting involved.
Telac laughed out humorlessly. "I won't use your precious crewman, don't worry. The one I'm counting on is your doctor. Alas, you won't survive to know if I succeeded."
Feeling his heart skip a beat, Sisko glowered at him with open disdain. "What are you up to?"
"Your doctor has a very amazing mind. I'm not sure if you were aware of it but it's amazing indeed," Telac absently retorted, then suddenly meeting Sisko's eyes he added: "I wish it weren't, though. It would have spared me these petty problems."
"What have you done to him?" Sisko was nearly about to shout.
Telac seemed to muse his words over for a short moment, obviously thinking over if Sisko was worth being told the truth.
"I tried to drag out the information I was seeking. He didn't give it voluntarily so I had to make him give it to me. But somehow I failed." Telac shook his head again, a blank smile crossing his face. "I made him betray everything he believed in. I broke him. I made him realize that his life was worthless, that I was owning his life. I almost had him tell me the data I needed. Almost. But then his mind shut down. I don't know how, but he suppressed what happened. He banished it out of his mind, shut every thought of his past life down. He just didn't remember. No matter how much I tried to get the information afterwards, he couldn't tell me. He simply couldn't remember anything of his past life. Not concerning Starfleet anyway."
"That's why he can't recall anyone of us…", Sisko whispered with sudden understanding under his breath. Pure bewilderment was filling his eyes.
"He was useless to my plans, the only way to obtain the data he had forgotten along with everything else, would have been to forcefully make him recall what happened. To bring it all back to his mind."
"But you couldn't have been sure if he wouldn't crack under the pressure. You would have risked losing him – and the data – forever…" Sisko concluded.
Despairingly he tore his gaze away, some part of him wishing that Telac was lying, that all his story was only another way to make him sway. But looking into the other man's unfathomable dark eyes, sparkling with some warped kind of amusement, Sisko unmistakably knew for sure that Telac was telling the truth.
"I didn't have another chance to wait. Some time he would finally remember," Telac said almost sadly, glancing back at Julian who still didn't dare move any more, the only thing preventing him from collapsing right in front of them the iron brackets that unyieldingly held him in a nearly upward position by his wrists. "But then you came… and made everything worse…"
Following Telac's gaze and spotting the sunken down figure, Sisko felt a painful twinge. "What are you going to do…?"
"Make him remember. By force, if I have to. I can't wait for you to come down to tell me what I need, so I'll take him."
And without another word, Telac turned, beckoning at the guards to fetch Sisko. He didn't oppose when he felt the firm grip around his upper arms, his mind desperately searching for a solution. For a loophole. Something to regain control over their situation.
But he bitterly had to realize that he was no longer in any position to influence the course of events. And probably he never really had been.
He was led into yet another room, larger than the previous – but apparently of the same use. They strapped him to one of the walls, then left without any further word. Not sure what was to come next, he closed his eyes, trying to regain some inner composure. Thinking of what Telac had said about Julian, he felt the bile rise in his throat. He could hardly imagine what the man was up to, how he would make Bashir recall events he had banished out of his mind in a last desperate attempt of self preservation. He only knew that it would destroy Julian. Even if the prior events hadn't, forcing him to remember what he had so frantically tried to forget would destroy what was left of him.
Abandoned to guilt and despair he didn't even take in further details of his surroundings, until the guards suddenly reappeared, bringing Lieutenant Dax and Chief O'Brien along. And John.
He suddenly noticed that he hadn't seen the young engineer since he had been called away to meet Telac the first time. He hadn't even remarked that he had been gone ever since Sisko had been brought back to the cell. Although John seemed all right, he didn't meet the captain's eyes, nor did he meet those of Dax or O'Brien.
Sisko couldn't even blame him – after all that had happened.
John had warned them. He had tried to do so ever since their first day in Velurin, ever since he had learned who they were and what part they had been playing in Julian's past life. But Sisko wouldn't have listened. No, he couldn't blame John for loathing them. He had every right to do so.
Glad for not having to endure John's reproachful gaze, though, he leaned his head back against the cool wall and tried to mentally brace himself for what was going to come.
He heard his crewman being strapped next to him and wondered why Telac needed all of them. He wasn't sure what role they would be given in his game, though he was all but eager to learn.
"What was that all about, Benjamin? What happened?" Dax whispered to his left, scowling at the guards who already stepped back, taking position next to the door. Not showing the slightest hint of having heard, they obviously ignored their tiny, meaningless conversation.
It took Sisko some time to answer, but then he reluctantly turned his head. "Telac is going to use Julian in getting the specifications he needs," he answered blankly and seeing her confused expression he slowly added: "After all I heard from Telac, Julian must have cracked under the pressure. He's closed his mind to everything that had happened before, forgot about his past life – and Starfleet as well. That's why he doesn't recall anyone of us. He's suppressed those memories and now Telac wants to force them back to his mind."
"He's doing what?"
It was John who suddenly interrupted their conversation, his face flushed with some vague emotion that hovered somewhere between anger and panic. Leaning forward the best he could with the iron brackets holding his wrists back beside his head, he excitedly eyed the two Starfleet officers.
"He can't do that. You've seen what happened when you tried to make Julian remember, Captain Sisko. You've seen his reaction back in the cell. He won't be able to cope with the memory. He'll break!"
"Don't tell me, John. I've seen him. But there is nothing we can do about it…"
John didn't have any opportunity to answer, when their conversation was suddenly interrupted. It was Telac, accompanied by Julian, who entered the room. He somehow seemed even more nervous than before, pushing Bashir roughly farther into the room, his grip around the young man's arm firm enough to force him to stay in an upward position while he finally directed his attention to Sisko.
"I already told you that I don't have time for your little games, Captain. I'll get the information and then I'll complete my work. It's a pity that it has to be this way…"
"Telac, wait!" Sisko suddenly shouted, a small hope flickering up in his mind. "What if you're failing. Do you want to risk losing your only opportunity to obtain the data by destroying Julian? What if his mind breaks? You'll win nothing and you'll lose the only trump you have. Are you really prepared to take such a risk?"
"Honestly, I don't care. I'll get what I want, either this or that way. It's just a matter of time but in the end I'll have either one of you talk. Believe me."
Telac instantaneously turned to Julian, producing a small dagger-shaped knife from somewhere behind. Bluntly he grabbed for Bashir's arm, pulling him closer towards the prisoners and with a serious and resolute expression, he presented him the knife.
"Listen to me, Julian, there is something I want you to do for me," he said, intently watching Bashir's reaction. Seconds elapsed until he finally voiced aloud his decisive order. "I want you to kill Sisko."
Not believing his own ears, O'Brien gasped for air. "Julian don't listen to him. He can't force you, you just have to hang on. Kira's already coming for rescue!"
O'Brien knew that it was a lie, even though he desperately wished it to be true. Nevertheless he had to attract Julian's attention, keep him from doing what Telac had said – dragging him back from the abyss Telac was pushing him towards. He could see Julian shake his head, his expression one of pure panic.
Having seemed apathetic and passive before, Bashir demeanor had changed in a split second, now only incredulous bewilderment filling his eyes.
"No… I… " the young man stammered incoherently, refusing to take what Telac was presenting him. He didn't have a choice though. Telac forced it in his right hand, closing his own around Julian's in an unyielding grip.
"You know what will happen, if you don't obey. You know it, don't you?" Telac gently whispered in the young man's ear, not letting go of his shaky hand.
No matter how unimportant or trivial Telac's words might have seemed to the others, Julian was paralyzed, staring wildly at the Starfleet officers in front of him. Frozen and with dilated eyes he stood ramrod stiff, apparently having been given the key to memories lost, long since…
Not able to move or speak, Bashir stood still in the middle of the room, though his horrified stare made Sisko involuntarily recall Telac's earlier words; that he wouldn't be alive to see if the experiment had succeeded.
"If you refuse to obey, the chief will be first to suffer the consequences."
And only a short moment later, one of the guards drew his weapon and directed it at O'Brien.
"I'm waiting, Julian."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He was in shock. His mind flooded by memories long lost – long forgotten. Memories he desperately tried to shut out. Memories he feared and dreaded more than death itself.
But they were there.
Within seconds his vision shrank into a small quadrate – with Sisko in its middle.
His whole world was starting to revolve violently around him as his vision blurred and his mind exploded into a dizzy whirl of chaos. But still the man in his view's center remained steady, his glassy eyes stabbing through Julian's body like sharp daggers, making him feel nauseated and sick with guilt. He couldn't banish him out of his mind. No matter how hard he tried to push the memory away, no matter how much he struggled to fight the memory down, he couldn't. It came rushing over him, drowning him under its icy floods, dragging him ever farther downwards into the engulfing darkness of despair. Frantically trying to tear his gaze away, he wasn't able to shut his eyes from the horrific sight. He couldn't ignore the man. Neither the blood. So much blood, sticking to Sisko, sticking to the walls around him, pooling on the floor, tripling from Julian's very own hands.
And then there was Dax. Her once-beautiful face so utterly distorted with pain and bewilderment. Her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead, her mouth twisted with disbelief, praying to him to make everything undone.
He screamed, feeling his legs give way a moment before he hit the ground. Pressing both arms frantically around his head, he was writhing with pain and horror.
Make it stop. Make it stop!
But it didn't.
The young girl. The blonde young girl he had once sworn to protect. He had sworn to save her life. Dead. Lying in front of him, her throat cut with a single knife. He had betrayed her like he had betrayed everyone. Her long hair was forming patterns of death, making him realize everything he had tried to run away from. It all broke down upon him in a merciless flood, drowning him in its dark water, making him shake with disdain and abomination.
Make it stop!
He barely felt himself any longer, so lost was he to the overwhelming terror and the concomitant guilt. But then a cruel and cold voice cut through his dizzy mind, like Julian's knife once had forced its way through Sisko's innocent flesh.
"I'll count till three, then he'll die."
No. No. No. No.
No more murder! When there was one thing he was capable of grasping it was that he wouldn't any more people to die because of his own miserable life. He would do anything, anything to prevent further murder. Anything to stop them from hurting him. He didn't want to suffer any pain any longer. He wanted it to stop. He would do anything to just make it stop!
On the verge of bursting into desperate tears, he bluntly grabbed for the knife's hilt, scrambling and struggling up with his last strength. His vision blurred, though he had already made up his mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Julian!" It was not so much the fear for his own life than that for the young doctor's, that made O'Brien act before it was too late. "Don't listen to him, Julian! If you don't give him the data, he won't…" He suddenly relapsed into silence when the phaser rifle's barrel forcefully hit his skull. Immediately he collapsed.
"Telac, stop it!"
Sisko tried in vain to free himself, making the iron brackets cut painfully into his wrists, though he didn't care. He didn't know what Telac had done to Julian, but the young man was hovering on the verge of madness. Gripping tightly the short knife, Sisko could see the unnatural effort it took Bashir to will himself to move.
When he was level with Sisko, their eyes met. And Sisko winced at the emptiness he saw. Julian's expression was beyond rationality, leaving no doubt to it any longer. Sisko was looking into the eyes of a broken man…
"I'm… sorry…" Bashir brought forth, almost choking on the words.
"Julian, it's me, Benjamin Sisko. I'll get you out of here. You'll be safe. Please, Julian, take away that knife."
He knew that it was one of the worst things he could have said to Bashir. He was begging for his life.
"I... can't," Julian cried, shaking his head ever so slightly. His voice was barely above a whisper now. "He won't let me. He'll kill more people. I… don't want any more people to die…"
Carefully he raised his hand, placing the point of the knife on Sisko's breast. His hands were so shaky he barely was able to hold it in the right position. With closed eyes, Julian clutched the hilt with a white-knuckled grip, though something still held him back.
"That's enough, Julian."
The disruptor bolt shot across the room, making Julian head involuntarily jerk up – and subsequently he lost hold of the knife when he saw the yellow streak squarely hitting O'Brien's chest, making the chief's already unconscious body convulse under the heavy impact.
"No… I… I just…" Bashir stammered, but was interrupted by Telac's firm voice.
"No more delay or John is the next one."
Not able to pick up the knife again, Julian could do nothing but stare at his friend's lifeless corps. He had killed O'Brien. Julian had killed his best friend like he had killed everyone else. Paralyzed by the thought he couldn't move. He tried to, but he couldn't. Still staring in terror at the cruel sight, Julian seemed on the brink of physical and psychological breakdown.
"Julian!" Telac harshly admonished, already walking with wide steps over to the unmoving young man – and all at once and without forewarn, he lost his footing like everyone else did, stumbling for hold as the lights flickered and vanished only second later. Instantaneously, the ground heaved and trembled, and from above small trickles of sand and plaster came rushing down as the loud thump above shook the small, subterranean room.
When the backup system abruptly churned to life, the room was bathed in a dull red glow, casting ghostly shadows on their ashen faces, while the ground continued to shake with the increasing thunder that resounded muffled, with the stone walls around. Staggering to his feet, Telac somehow managed, not to be thrown off his feet again. Briskly brushing away the dust and filth he instinctively looked upward – though he could see nothing but the dark, red-tinged ceiling.
"What's going on?" he shouted and with enough presence of mind he managed to run over to the comlink and punch in commands. Only a moment later, one of the guards made it up as well.
"Sir, this is Mehel, we've been fired upon. You better come up here as soon as possible," another voice over the comlink cried out, roughly interrupted by another blast that seemed to have occurred not far away from their present position.
"Fired upon? What the hell is going on here?" Telac's voice was tinted with fear, his eyes wide with bewilderment. Spinning around he raced through the door, followed by the two guards who didn't even cast a last look around as they abandoned their prisoners to whatever fate would await them if the destruction continued to be so severe.
"Kira?" Dax hopefully raised her voice over the din, trying to keep her footing as best she could on the heavily shaking earth.
"If it's really Major Kira, her timing couldn't be better," Sisko replied, ducking his head when another trickle of sand dropped from the ceiling. "I can't imagine any other person who should have a reason for attacking Telac's lab, though whoever it is, we owe him or her more than our gratitude."
When another bolt hit some hundreds of meters above, a whole part of the ceiling caved in, though by mere luck, no one was hurt.
Turning his head, Sisko saw Julian, still kneeling where he had gone down to the ground. His shoulders hunched and both arms clutched around his abdomen, he didn't even seem aware of what was happening. He just kept staring at O'Brien's corpse.
"Julian," Sisko gently tried. If he could induce Julian to free them, they would have a much better chance than to wait in this damaged room for either somebody to come for their rescue – or for the rest of the ceiling to cave in and bury them under a lethal layer of rubble. But what was urging him the most to gain Julian's attention was his worry that they had to take care of Bashir as fast as possible and help him through the trauma Telac's action had caused with him.
"Julian!" he tried, this time more vigorously.
The young man immediately jerked up, and fell backwards as he was all at once hauled back into reality. Reaching out to catch himself, he let out a sudden cry as his broken arm couldn't sustain his body's weight, though he didn't waste any more time on his injured arm. Precipitantly he scrambled to his feet again and when he somehow managed to draw himself up – even against the still unsteady ground – he whirled around and instantaneously broke into a run. Almost crashing against the wall behind the open door, Julian didn't even look back as he vanished out of their sight.
"Julian!" Sisko called behind him, though the young man was already out of earshot.
"Julian, wait! It's the Defiant! JULIAN!"