This story is AU from the "Experience is the Teacher". Basically think of it as an alternative ending if Mr. Zwick and Co. had the allotted 22 instead of 19 eps. Stupid ABC. Everything remains intact from "Experience is the Teacher".

Disclaimer: This fic is designed for non-profit use only. I own nafink. NAAAAFINK. It's all Mr. Zwick and Co. and the good people at ABC who used to and abused the show mercilessly. Good work ABC, you fickle sods

The usual request: Please review. I'm attention starved. And thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed. You know who you are!

Chapter Nine

The morning was sticky and still as the students of Upton Sinclair attempted to shield themselves from the heat. Most were huddled under shade or in the long, open hallways striving to escape the sun. Katie Singer was in such a hallway, surrounded by a group of girls, all animatedly talking about a particular art class.

Katie seemed so distracted that she didn't notice Jessie skulking by her locker. She watched Katie with dismay and felt a pang of envy when she heard Katie's warm laughter waft by her.

"Jessie!" she was distracted by her old friend Marnie, who was busy trying to balance books in her tiny arms. She hurried over.

"Hey Marnie," Jessie greeted politely. "Do you want some…um…" she indicated to Marnie's books, which were balancing precariously in her arms.

"Oh no!" Marnie chirped brightly. "I'm, uh, fine, I have a whole lot of eighteenth century novelists I have to read for English." Jessie nodded sympathetically. "So, uh, I was sick last Tuesday, can I borrow your notes for Geography?"

"Sure," Jessie turned and opened her locker, momentarily rifling through her things until she found the notes in question. "Here. Just give them back before Friday, 'cause I'll need them then. Oh, and can you not go over them with any pen, or even pencil if you can help it."

"I won't let anything near it," Marnie promised. "Thanks Jess, I knew I could count on you." With a bright smile Marnie turned to leave.

"Wait," Jessie protested. Marnie turned to look at her, perplexed. "We should do something," Jessie continued sweetly.

"You serious?" Marnie asked. "I mean, sure!" She noticed Jessie looked a little miffed by her reaction. "Oh, it's nothing. I guess I'm just surprised!"

"Why?"

"Well, I mean, you've been hanging around Katie Singer so much I thought you wouldn't have time for us," Marnie said, her tone slightly resentful.

"I know," Jessie admitted. "I'm sorry; I guess I've been kinda obsessed." She rolled her eyes facetiously, "how about this Friday?"

"Sure, cool!" Marnie grinned cheerfully. "See you," her eyes widened at someone behind Jessie, but before Jessie could respond she had scuttled away.

"Somebody doesn't like me," Katie's wry voice commented.

Jessie sighed and turned around.

To the casual eye Katie may have seen normal. But her smile was plastered on her face, stuck on pale, pasty skin. Her limp hair clung to her shoulders, and her eyes were missing of its usual mischievous spark.

Jessie looked away. "That's just Marnie." She muttered. "She's always just hated popular people on principle. Like, she doesn't even get to know them; she just believes they aren't worth her time or something."

"Oh," Katie looked a little bemused. "Well, that's interesting, life- style wise."

Jessie gave a stagnant chuckle. Both girls stood awkwardly.

"You didn't come say hello," Katie said, her voice not disguising a sulking pout.

"You seemed pretty busy," Jessie pointed out evenly, "with all your friends. I didn't want to interrupt."

"No matter what I'm doing, coming to say hello wouldn't be an interruption," Katie's tone was ominously light.

"Well, I didn't want to be rude," Jessie countered, keeping a saccharine sweetness to her voice. She turned her back on Katie and played with her locker combination.

"So, I'm thinking maybe I should see you, sometime."

"Oh. Ok," Jessie said cautiously.

"Like maybe this Friday?" Katie asked warily.

Jessie sighed "I would but I just promised Marnie that I would hang with some of old friends."

Katie's mouth hardened. Jessie sensed this, and turned and threw up her hands, exasperatedly. "What?"

"Ok, not only are we going to pretend nothing happened, now you're actively avoiding me!" Katie accused.

"What?" Jessie spluttered. "I'm seeing an old friend who I have been neglecting since becoming…friends with certain people! Why are you getting angry at me?"

"So, that's what we are? Friends," Katie asked bitterly.

"Is now really the right time to be talking about this?" Jessie whispered urgently, stepping close to Katie. Katie rolled her eyes.

"Knowing you, it'll never be a great time to talk about it," Katie sniped sullenly.

"Oh, ok, thanks!" Jessie reeled, as if Katie has slapped her. She stuffed some books in her bag. "If that's the way you feel, maybe I won't talk about it then." Jessie shut the locker with a bang and began to leave.

Katie followed her. "Jessie! Jess." Jessie stopped and sighed, whirling around and angrily glaring at the floor, not daring to drag her eyes to meet Katie's for fear tears would spill. "I don't care what time it is," Katie hissed. "I just need to talk to you. I don't understand why you won't! God Jessie!"

"Tell me when," Jessie said dully, her lips quivering. She bit her lower lip hard, feeling a spike of pain as teeth sunk into flesh.

Katie glared at Jessie with consternation, too frustrated to care about her obvious suffering. "At lunch. Meet me at my car."

"Ok."

"Ok."

But it wasn't.

Over at the other side of Chicago, an anxious Eli sat restlessly in his chair in the waiting room of "Light Ldt". The room itself was uninspiring, a sparse environment with harsh white lights displaying the ugly grey peeling paint on the walls for all to see. Next to him sat three twenty-something people, dressed in formal attire, all continuously flipping through papers. He caught the eye of one girl, and he smiled weakly, in an attempt to allay the fear that seized his body. She gave him a nervous smile then her eyes flickered down to her magazine, dismissing him.

"Ok, next." Benton stuck his head out as a woman walked out of the interview room. Benton's eyes rested on Eli. If he recognised him, he didn't show it.

"Hey Benton," Eli said nervously, sticking his hand out.

"Hello," Benton grabbed his resume and made a show of reading it. "Eli. Come inside my office."

Benton's office was in the same drab vein as the rest of the building. It was small and cramped, with papers over crowding the tired silver cabinets that were shoved against the wall. An ominous large, leather chair was placed behind a huge wooden desk. A few feet away a small chair was seated near the middle of the room. Benton indicated that was where Eli was to sit.

Eli shuffled and sat down gingerly. Benton took his seat and proceeded to gaze at Eli's resume.

"Excuse me. Ah excuse me sir," Eli stuttered. Benton barely glanced up. "I'm sorry but I don't exactly know, er, what this job is. I mean, I'm glad to be here and everything…" Eli trailed off when it became apparent Benton wasn't listening.

"Right," Benton said after a moment, pursing his lips and taking his eyes away from the document. His disapproval suckered Eli like a punch.

"OK, well my job is to distinguish talent. Raw tangible talent. Or at least, that X- factor that will likely guarantee stardom," Benton's mouth twitched, as if he found this thought amusing. "My firm, "Light Ltd", then manages for gigs in the greater Chicago area and if they're lucky through me they can land themselves a really big gig with a company like Sony."

"Wow," Eli gaped, mouth hanging open.

"Yes, it can seem that way when you hold young people's dreams in your hands," Benton replied loftily. "So, I want to know, young man, what skills YOU can offer ME."

"Well," Eli mumbled nervously. He cursed himself silently as he struggled to remember his prepared answers. "If I love something I'm willing to work hard. Like, I work at this place, er, Booklovers and I'm always on time and everything."

"You love books?" Benton asked politely.

"Yeah. Sometimes. Uh, you know, it obviously depends on the uh, book reading material."

"I see," Benton said neutrally, loudly clearing his throat. "And you have no formal training in music?"

Eli sunk visibly in his seat, feeling inevitability of rejection. "No."

"Nothing at all?" Benton asked, eyebrows raised.

"No. I mean unless you count, like seven years playing lead guitar and you know, writing lyrics in a band. But I do love music!" Eli tried to be upbeat, but even to his ears it sounded feeble.

The look on Benton's face was inscrutable. "Ok, let's move on. So, what would you say is your greatest weak point?"

Eli felt humiliated as his heart sank. 'Here we go again.' "Uh…"

Jessie was waiting by Katie's car as the owner in question met her. "Hey," Jessie said quietly.

"Hey," Katie replied stiffly.

They both stood powerlessly as another awkward silence commenced.

"Look, I didn't come here to listening to the cool wind blow," Katie said snidely, breaking the emptiness belligerently. Jessie withdrew from her quietly, wrapping her arms tightly around her. Katie sucked in an angry breath. "I don't know where to begin," she sighed and looked at Jessie seriously. "Jess, am I even part of your life now?"

"Yes! Of course you are!" Jessie replied softly.

"Then how come you haven't talked to me at all for the last week!" Katie accused.

"Oh come on!" Jessie hissed, irritated at Katie's tone. "It's is not as if you've been talking to me."

"Yes I have! Who came up to you in the hall way?"

"You're accusing me of not talking to you when you haven't rung at all the last week."

"Haven't rung of course I haven't rung," Katie snorted incredulously. "How can I ever ring your house again?"

"What is wrong with my house?"

"God, I have no idea how your family thinks of me!" Katie wailed shrilly. "I have no idea what YOU think of me now."

"What?" Jessie breathed, mouth hanging agape. Her heart was clanging like a bell in her chest.

"Jessie!" Katie sighed. She shook her head, obviously in turmoil. "It's…I've been thinking and…what am I to you?"

"Katie!" Jessie said desperately. Her breath quickened. "You mean so much to me."

"I dunno," Katie choked out, her lips quivering as tears began to dribble down her cheek. "The last week, I've felt as if you, like, HATE me or something."

"No!" Jessie breathed, aghast.

"I can't help it!" Katie protested weakly. Impulsively, she stepped towards Jessie, needing contact. Jessie's arms slipped around her. "After everything now, I just don't know…if I fit."

"You fit," Jessie breathed softly, eyes flittering downwards. Katie cocked her head and her gazed dropped to Jessie's lips, staring at them in a stunned stupor. Both began leaning in, drawn to the same comfort. They felt warm breath's tickle their lips when a large clang jerked them from moment. Someone over at the oval had dislodged a small aluminum rubbish bin and thrown in against a wall. They heard kids laughing at the sight.

As if she was stung, Jessie pulled back. Katie let her arms fall limply by her sides.

"Jess." She snapped.

"What?" Jessie retorted.

"Why did you just…"

"Katie!" Jessie said heatedly. "It's bad enough that my family knows I don't want the rest of the school to know that we're…"

"What?" Katie asked, self-righteous anger beginning to bubble in her veins.

"You know…" Jessie sighed.

Katie stared at Jessie for a long moment. Her face was inscrutable, like marble, but as seconds ticked by her façade crumbled and her eyes filled with a terrifying resigned sadness. Katie pursed her lips, as if tasting something very unpleasant.

"No, I don't," she said finally. She shot Jessie a baleful look before turning sharply on her heel and walking away.

"Katie!" Jessie begged.

But the older girl would not be stopped.

"I got you some of your favorite berry ice cream!" Lily coaxed Zoe gently just after the young girl had been dropped to the Manning Manor by Jake.

"It's ok, I'll have an apple." Zoe said simply, wandering over and grabbing the fruit in question.

Lily surveyed her daughter closely. "So," she said brightly, trying to please the kid. "Somebody's birthday's coming up," Lily rubbed her hands together eagerly, "I feel a party coming!"

"Huh?" Zoe turned around and looked at Lily dubiously. "You're throwing a party?"

"I don't know," Lily said playfully. "Do you want one?"

"I dunno," Zoe said nonchalantly, peeling the sticker off the apple. "I thought you'd forgotten."

"Forgotten!" Lily gaped, her hand flying to her chest. "How could I forget your birthday?"

"Mom! We're home," Grace's voice called out. She and a miserable looking Jessie entered.

"Hi guys," Lily said, still reeling from the last conversation.

"I'm going up to my room," Jessie said softly.

"Oh, ok," Lily said, narrowing her eyes. "I've got some raspberry ice cream for a snack."

"I'll have it later," Jessie said politely. Within a moment she was gone.

Grace watched Jessie go with a shrewd expression on her face. She was jolted when her mother waved an envelope in front of her.

"Honey!" Lily said excitedly. "Look it's from the 'Young Writers Competition!'

"Really?" Grace yelped, grabbing the envelope from Lily's hands.

"Go on open it!" Lily encouraged eagerly.

"Oh, I would but…homework," Grace stalled. "There's no rush! I'll look at it after dinner." Grace smiled, hoping she looked excited. As usual, Lily was fooled. She bobbled her head in agreement. Grace indicated to the fridge. "Didn't you say something about raspberry ice cream?"

"I did!" Lily practically bounced off. She threw the fridge open and enthusiastically gave the ice cream to Grace.

Within a moment a surly Eli jerked the kitchen door open. "Eli!" Lily greeted him. "Want some ice cream?"

"No." He muttered.

"What's your problem?" Grace asked rudely.

Eli glowered at her. "Nothing. There's nothing," he mumbled bitterly. Feeling utterly inadequate and ashamed he angrily avoided eye contact with anyone. Shoving his hands in his pockets Eli tried to forget the ordeal he just experienced. 'Why bother if I know I'll never be good enough.'

"Eli are you sure you're ok?" Lily asked, noticing his demeanor.

"Fine," was his terse reply, "I'm just grabbing some stuff from my room. I'm staying with Mom tonight." And with that he strode off.

"I'd better go," Grace said, discarded her empty bowl in sink. She breezed past Lily with the envelope firmly pressed against her chest.

"Oh." Lily said to their retreating figures. She steeled herself to address her youngest daughter. "Now what was this about…?"

But when Lily turned, Zoe had gone.

"Ok," Lily said dryly to the empty room. "Nice to know there are people to talk to in this house!" Lily glanced down at her stomach. "I guess it's just you and me little guy."

And that thought made Lily smile with delight

Grace stood by the entrance of Eli's room, a feeling of trepidation settling over her. With a shaky hand she knocked quietly on Eli's door. There wasn't an answer and Grace grew annoyed when she heard the faint strumming of a guitar. Setting her jaw tightly, she wrenched open his door and found Eli sprawled on his bed, his guitar in his lap and a churlish look on his face.

"Weren't you supposed to be packing for your mom's?" Grace asked irritably.
Eli raised his head, looking confused and affronted. That passed quickly and he stared at Grace with unabashed annoyance.

"I'm going to do it in a sec," he snapped, then ignored her and continued to play.

Grace folded her arms and shifted her weight from foot to foot, unsure how to proceed. "I just wanted to see how you were," she started cautiously.

Eli grunted and continued to strum his guitar. He could sense Grace's disapproval, wafting towards him in waves, increasing his ire. He just couldn't bear to look at her, the very picture of smug elitism.

Grace caught the look on his face and felt hurt. "You're still mad at me?" she said feeling a little nettled.

Eli glanced up irritably. "Mad about what?"

"That fight we had!" Grace insisted, "about the faire."

"What?" Eli said peevishly. "Oh. You still on about that?"

"Well, I was coming to apologize but obviously you're not in the mood." Grace sneered, feeling righteous anger pulse through her veins.

Eli shrugged, unconcerned, his mouth a hard line. "That's about right."

"I can't believe you!" Grace sighed angrily.

Eli glared daggers at her. "I'm not mad about that, OK. Leave it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, forgive me for existing," Grace said snidely. She crossed her arms "What are you upset about?"

"God," Eli growled, discarding his guitar and rising from his bed. "I told you to leave it, OK. It's none of your business." He stalked around his room and gathered some clothes to together for his weekend with Karen. Grace reeled momentarily, but her eyes clouded as she glared indignantly.

"Fine by me," she spat nastily, throwing him a look of contempt. She turned on her heels and slammed the door shut. Eli glared after her, feeling anger hum through his veins. Unhappily, he continued to pack.

The Manning Manor was eerily silent for a Monday afternoon. Zoe had flittered in and out of the room before leaving for a friend's house, Eli had come and gone with nary a word and Jessie and Grace seemed cocooned in their respective rooms, not even the prospect of ice cream and The View marathon enough to lure them away from their cubby holes. One would be forgiven to think the Manor was completely deserted if not for Lily sprawled on the couch morosely eating potato chips. Every now and then she would drag her attention away from Star Jones favorite recipes to glance surreptitiously in the direction of Zoe and Jessie's rooms. Sighing helplessly she stared at the television where a "special" guest was presenting the watch words of parenting: discipline, encouragement, and of course, communication.

Lily unhappily shoved a potato crisp in her mouth.

She was actually relieved when the phone rang. Wearily rising, Lily padded over and answered, "hello?"

"Lily?"

"Rick, hi."

"Hey," Rick's voice sounded fatigued over the phone, and Lily frowned, little crinkles appearing between her eye brows. He continued. "I'm so sorry, but I have to stay back at work. We have to come up with some preliminary designs, and Colin is not backing off."

"What is up with you and horrible bosses?" Lily asked playfully, disappointment belying her words.

"Colin is a cake work compared Mr. Maniacal," Rick quipped tiredly. Lily smirked, her mind flashing back to Miles Drenthal.

"Ok, well I'll set the table for one less," Lily said, attempting to sound enthused but falling flat. She shot a concerned look up the stairs.

"Rick," Lily sighed. "I'm a little worried about Jessie."

"What? What's wrong?" Rick's voice was alive with urgency now.

"No- it's nothing, you know," Lily continued lamely. "She's just so miserable."

Rick's voice was barely audible. "I know."

"Well, what are we going to do about it?" Lily said insistently.

"I don't know what else to do about it," Rick retorted irritably. "Karen and I have talked to her, reassured her, but I think," Lily heard him clear his throat uncomfortably. "I think maybe she needs time."

"What, more time to freak out?" Lily sniffed self righteously.

"Lily, please," Rick said warningly.

"Well I'm sorry, I just think you have a daughter who is miserable and who needs her parents," Lily hissed, frustration that simmered within her beginning to boil.

"Oh, Lily don't even start," Rick's voice shook with anger. "You have no right to judge! And you know it."

Lily blanched at his tone, as chagrinned flush burning her cheeks. "I know," she admitted ruefully. "I'm worried, that's all."

"I know," Rick's voice was to back to his usual soft, gentle keel. "I wish I could be home to see her, but I," Lily's breath lodged in her throat. Rick sounded so sad. "Just, please at dinner, make…please make sure she eats."

"Rick," Lily gasped, aghast. "Of course," Lily glanced frantically up the stairs. "Is she…is it happening again?"

"Lily, please," Rick begged, his voice catching.

"Ok," Lily whispered. "I promise."

Dinner was a subdued affair. Zoe insisted on talking and eating simultaneously on the phone while Jessie sat and morosely stared at her plate, picking at her food only when Lily would nag her. Even Grace seemed leery, shoveling her food down while nary giving Lily a glance.

With considerable trepidation Lily climbed the stairs towards Jessie's attic. Zoe was too busy on the phone to ask about her problems and it had been over a week since Lily and Rick had discovered Jessie and Katie. Lily felt hesitant about talking to Jessie, considering how her discussions with her step-daughter had panned out in the past. However, she steeled herself, unable to put off the inevitable.

Jessie was seated at her desk, the wispy blue material that covered her bed almost obscuring her from view. Her room, as always, was messy. Jessie was a lot of things, but tidy was not one of them.

"Jessie?" Lily asked gently. Her step daughter turned with a resigned look upon her face, fully deducing what Lily's intentions were.

"Can I sit?" Lily asked, indicating the bed.

Jessie shrugged. "Sure."

"I just want to say…" Lily trailed off. She actually didn't know what to say. She had of course had a nasty shock when she mistook Grace's orientation and she grimaced at the thought of how ignorant and bigoted she had acted. Thankfully, it was only shock that made Lily act that way and Grace was none the wiser. Jessie wasn't as lucky.

"Honey, I'm not here to lecture you, or say you've done anything wrong. I am here to say that I've been watching you the last few days. And I know the way your dad has acted…is very upsetting." Lily searched Jessie's face for a reaction, but her expression was inscrutable. Gamely, Lily continued. "And I'm sorry for the way he's acted. But I want you to remember that your dad loves you very much," Jessie's eyebrows shot up cynically but she didn't comment. "And that he's adjusting. Poorly," Lily tried to engage the young girl. "Well, I think we both know how your dad reacts when faced with unseen situations."

Jessie snorted in agreement then studiously studied her table, not trusting herself to speak.

"And your mom, well she's also adjusting but the thing is, I know they both love you very much," Lily took a deep breath. "And I love you very much."

Jessie head jerked up as she looked at Lily in shock. Jessie bit her lip to stop it from quivering and gripped the table fiercely.

It took supreme effort, but Lily refrained from taking the girl in her arms. Jessie's body was like a steel trap, and Lily knew from experience she could snap at any moment.

She was more like her father than anyone had ever imagined.

"And I know that I'm not your mother or anything but I am a part of your family and I'm here for you. Anytime. And…" Lily took a deep breath. "And despite what you think, my house is always open to Katie. Or any one else you choose to care about."

"MOM!" Zoë's voice pierced the air.

"Just a minute, sweetie," Lily called, feeling irritated. She turned to Jessie who was sitting still, her eyes glazed over.

"Jessie," Lily said eagerly.

"Mom, I think I broke the phone!"

"Just ah," Lily's mind was blank as she attempted to think of something to say.

"It's ok," Jessie said, sensing Lily's struggle. "You better see what it is."

"I should." Lily reached out to hug Jessie but hesitated, scared to broach a boundary that had existed ever since she'd known her step-daughter. Lily settled for a soft reassuring squeeze of Jessie's shoulder. Jessie continued to look down at the floor.

Lily felt there was nothing else to say, so with a heavy tread she walked to the door.

"Lily," Jessie's voice stopped her.

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

A gentle knock interrupted Grace, who was absent mindedly throwing a soccer ball in the air as she reclined on her bed. Scrambling upright, she hid the ball and grabbed a book on her bed side table, "come in."

The door hesitantly opened. Jessie peeked inside then immediately looked contrite. "Sorry. You're busy." She made to leave.

"Wait," Grace said quickly. Jessie turned. "I'm not. Just pretending in case Mom chooses to barge in."

"Oh," a ghost of a smile played on Jessie's lips. "I wouldn't worry. She's downstairs with Zoe. Phone Debacle."

"Figures," Grace said rolling her eyes at her sisters' incompetence. "Come in."

With considerable unease Jessie entered the room. She sat on the bed with Grace, keeping a wide buffer between them.

"So," Grace drawled, trying to allay the discomfort that was radiating off Jessie.

"Grace," Jessie whispered.

"Yeah?"

A look of yearning flittered over Jessie's face but as quickly as it arrived Jessie caught herself, eyes darkening, as if furious with her display of emotion

"I'm sorry," Jessie managed, picking at her sleeve. "I shouldn't…I should go."

Impulsively Grace grabbed Jessie's arm. Jessie tensed at the intrusion and stared at Grace, shocked.

"It's Katie." Grace stated bluntly.

Jessie looked at Grace long and hard for a moment, mistrust and hope mingling on her face. Her eyes then flickered as Jessie drew a ragged breath and set her jaw, steeling herself.

"I just thought you would understand." Jessie said softly.

"Yeah," Grace shuffled and made room for Jessie. Almost against her will, Jessie sat down.

Grace studied her downtrodden companion. It struck Grace as ironic that their only connection was their convoluted love lives. It rankled her that Jessie still looked perfect when she cried, but her tears meant that she had been hurt. And pain caused by love was something Grace was used to.

"What happened?" Grace asked gently.

Jessie chuckled bleakly. "We fought at lunch today. Again. Ever since we were caught…" Jessie looked up at the ceiling. "Everything has changed." Her voice was choked, tense with wound emotion. "You should see the way they look at me," Jessie squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head in dismay.

"Like you've done something wrong?" Grace said quietly, feeling her pain keenly.

Jessie sniffled in agreement then looked down at the bed sheet. "And now…I don't know what I feel. And Katie is asking all these questions and it's like, I can't answer, so why are you asking them?" Jessie said shrilly, her desperation now tangible. "And for a whole week I couldn't think straight but now Katie might leave m-me all I can think of is her."

"Oh," Grace said softly.

Jessie felt faint as her world threatened to spin. Clenching her eyes shut she muttered,

"How did it, was it…different for you?"

Grace sighed as annoyance bubbled up inside. She drew a breath to rebuff Jessie, but once she set her gaze on Jessie's forlorn figure she bit back the retort that was sizzling on her tongue. "I don't know." Grace said instead, reaching into the recesses of her mind. "I'm not sure if it's possible…to compare. For a long time it just hurt," Grace grimaced then continued resentfully. "The thing is…for ages I thought love was this beautiful thing, but when he- when he left, it all changed. The way I felt…it turned into this like, gross, weird, sickness. It was like, every minute I would see something that would reminded me of what he said or how he smelt. Which just made everything…hurt more."

Next to her Jessie sucked in an inaudible breath.

Grace sighed as a thoughtful expression settled on her face. "But after a while other stuff kept happened like school, home, this competition and I just started to stop… thinking about him I mean." Grace shrugged, a sliver of pain still evident in her eyes. "Until I realized I wasn't thinking about him at all anymore. There's so much stuff going on in my life that I didn't have time to remember him. And when I realized that was ok…it started to hurt… less."

Grace looked down at her hands. "And that's how I feel now. And I'm sorry but I can't tell you what to do with Katie because…I'm not you. I don't know how you feel, only you know that."

A sickening wave of bitter resignation hit Grace as she stared at Jessie. "But at least you have a choice," she choked.

"Grace," Jessie reached out and compassionately squeezed Grace's shoulders. Grace shut her eyes tight and tried to fight the wave of nausea swirling in her gut.

"It's ok, it's ok," she mumbled, wiping her eyes. She couldn't be this vulnerable around Jessie. "Ugh, I'm being sappy. Just ignore me. God," She sighed, disgusted with herself.

Both girls sat in mutual, pained silence.

"Hey what's that?" Jessie asked finally, eager for a distraction

"That!" Grace jumped up and grabbed the item of the desk. "Oh this…this is."

Grace momentarily panicked, attempting to find an adequate lie. It was so very tiring.

"This is the response by the 'Young Writers Competition.'" Grace said nonchalantly. "I made it past the first round of elimination…I mean, it's not a big thing, there's still, like fifteen other competitors and everything left," Grace finished modestly.

"Oh my god," Jessie pulled herself from her stupor. She smiled a happy, albeit soggy smile. "I didn't even know you met the application date. I heard about that thing with Eli."Jessie grinned encouragingly, "You could actually win this thing."

"No I won't," Grace countered quietly.

"W-what," Jessie stumbled. She looked uncomfortable. "You don't know that."

"Yeah I do," Grace chuckled regretfully. "You know, the funny thing is, with that fightwith Eli I got so mad at him but really, I was the one who stuffed up."

"What?"

Grace muttered bitterly. "I was scared of showing myself to these people. I didn't want them reading about my life. So, instead of sending my best piece, the piece about," Grace struggled to force out his name. "Mr. Dimitri. I sent in another one of my works, even though I knew it was inferior."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Grace breathed bashfully. She looked down. "I was stupid. Stupid for thinking I was no longer afraid of anything. "

Jessie sat, immobile, and let Grace's words wash over her.

"You know the thing about Mr. Dimitri was; he was so bitter because he had wasted his life. He kept looking at his past failures that he didn't realize that he still had time to rectify them." Grace was now speaking as if Jessie was not in the room. "I'm not like him. I've got plenty of chances. So I guess," Grace chuckled. "I'm lucky."

Jessie stared at Grace, her mind ruminating over what she had said. "I think you are."

Grace snorted as her lips twisted into a mocking smile. "Thanks," she said archly, a clear 'your highness' implied.

Jessie rolled her eyes and felt the familiar feeling of exasperation that Grace inspired in her. "I don't care what you say; I think your Mom is going to want to see."

"Yeah. She's going to keep asking about it. I just know it."

Jessie sniggered, feeling infinitely better. "Sure. I would say congratulations but you'll be getting that enough in the next few days."

"Probably," Grace said easily.

Their teasing was familiar. Both girls took comfort in that; only now were they accepting the tenuous détente that existed between them. It was one thing to antagonize each other, but friendship was a line neither felt compelled to broach "I should do the rest of my homework," Jessie sighed, eager to be alone.

"Me too," Grace groaned.

Jessie walked out, and with a nod of appreciation to Grace, she opened the door, where Zoe was clearly still whining to her mother about the phone.

Both snickered. Some things never changed.