Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, or the Wizard of Oz.

Chapter Ten – City Fun, Part One

Remy found a large door blocked he and his friends from entering the city.

"I wanna push the button!" Scott said, beginning the slow descent from his opiate high. He pressed the button several times and waited.

Soon, a small window opened within the door. Remy jumped when he saw who the doorman was, and considered fleeing for a few moments. "Who rang?" Apocalypse boomed from behind the window.

Remy swallowed. "He did!" He said, pointing to Scott, holding Logan by the tail to keep him from running back into the poppies. Remy didn't care WHAT Apocalypse did to them, as long as it didn't involve sticking his tongue back into the straw-filled mouth. What disgusted him even more was the fact that he'd enjoyed the kiss prior to learning it was Scott he'd kissed.

"Read the notice, mere mortals!" Apocalypse said.

"What notice?" Creed growled back. Apocalypse stuck one of his massive arms through the window, grabbed Creed, and smashed his face onto the door where a note had been nailed, the nail leaving a dent in Creed's forehead. Creed slid down the door and rubbed his head. "You could have pointed."

"Do not question my wisdom, you are but a mortal in an inferior – " He was cut off by Remy.

"Inferior vessel, yada, yada, yada. Remy's heard it, let us in, already, y'overgrown fish!" Remy said. "We're goin' t'see da Wizard, an' dere ain' not'in y'can do t'stop us, mon ami!"

"Ooooh! The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Whiz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Whiz! Even I've never seen him!" Apocalypse said.

Remy chuckled. "Da Great Poccy?"

"Do not mock me!" Apocalypse growled, which caused a hiss to come from Remy's pocket.

"How do you know this Whiz even exists?" Scott said.

Remy rolled his eyes. "Remy's getting' impatient. Also has a touch of da munchies." He charged the door and stood back, blowing it to pieces and then walking through. "Uh oh, inferior vessel mon arse!" He kicked Apocalypse's charred head like a soccer ball and quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Nobody seemed to care, so Remy assumed Apocalypse was so much of an ass it didn't matter. He kicked the head backwards across the drawbridge and watched as it landed in the moat that surrounded the Emerald City.

"I'm getting hungry!" Logan said, whining. "And the city is scary!"

"I know a place where we can eat!" Scott said, smiling. "435 Main!" He said, as if reciting the Bible. He lead them down several streets to a large stone house. He knocked on the door happily. A woman opened the door and Scott smiled. "Jean?"

The girl frowned. "I'm MADELYNE, asshole! Thanks for calling, by the way!" She slammed the door in their faces.

"I was hung up!" Scott yelled through the door. He turned to Remy, who crossed his arms and grinned. "It's not my fault! They look alike, it's easy to get them confused!"

"Dis happened before?" Remy asked.

Scott nodded. "Don't ever yell another witch's name while you're snuggled up to her twin sister. How do you think I ended up with a metal pole rammed several feet up my ass?"

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Puppybaddog – I know, I know. You have to admit, it was sick, but you liked it.

BJ – Glad you enjoyed. Logan and Remy….that's a lot of hair. :D

Kitty Rasputin – Jean is the Witch of the North. Storm will be in this story still, and Kitty and Jubes are coming back later.

BlkDiamond – Wheeeee! Here it is. Hope you like.

Fauna Greywolf – Hey, it's about time Scotty loosened up somewhere else than in the sphincter. : )