This story is AU from the "Experience is the Teacher". Basically think of it as an alternative ending if Mr. Zwick and Co. had the allotted 22 instead of 19 eps. Stupid ABC. Everything remains intact from "Experience is the Teacher".

Disclaimer: This fic is designed for non-profit use only. I own nafink. NAAAAFINK. It's all Mr. Zwick and Co. and the good people at ABC who used to and abused the show mercilessly. Good work ABC, you fickle sods

Feedback I've received has been wonderful, and copious amounts of thanks for even bothering to read. But, as always, feed my insecurities and REVIEW, y'all.

And, as always, cheers to Karen, my beta, who had to work quite hard on this chapter. Thank you again, Karen.

Chapter Ten

"Tiffany, you sure this is a good idea?" Jake asked dubiously.

"Yes!" Tiffany insisted brightly. They were standing with Judy in the middle of Booklovers. A few patrons were milling around but the store was mostly empty as it was almost closing time.

"Ok," Jake sighed, rolling his eyes at Tiffany. Smiling tenderly, he gingerly took Maddie from her arms and began to walk.

"See here honey, this is where daddy works," he cooed. He indicated with his head. "Over there is the kitchen where daddy manages and through here are all the books that one day you're going to read." He Eskimo kissed her. "Yes you are!"

"My god," Judy breathed. "Who knew Jake could be this cute? I mean, he's always been charming in his own nymphomaniac kinda way but this is just…sweet."

"I know!" Tiffany smiled. "I told him it's very important that his daughter knew exactly what her daddy did. I read that a child can store memories from like, in the womb. So it's vital that Jake makes this place a happy memory."

"Well, she's always welcome," Judy encouraged.

"Thanks." Tiffany watched Judy closely. "So when are you having a baby?"

"What?" Judy blanched.

"Oh I'm sorry!" Tiffany blathered. "That was rude. It's just…"

"No it's ok. I should just stop having a hernia every time someone asks me," Judy commented wryly. She paused. "Really soon," she confessed. "I mean, I love all the children that are in my life but there's nothing like having your own." Tiffany smiled in agreement. "I mean, Sam has to agree. And anything that involves commitment he gets cagey. Still, it's something I would love to share with him someday. And if he doesn't…well, I guess nowadays you don't need a man for a baby."

"Yeah," Tiffany agreed, her eyes wandering to Jake, who was showing Maddie the children books. "Still, every kid wants their daddy."

"Yeah," Judy said, watching Tiffany carefully. "I guess they do."

"Hey guys, do you wanna close up?" Eli emerged from the store room.

"There's my man!" Jake called from the other side of the room. He wandered over.

"You see this kid," he said to Tiffany eagerly. "Been here since opening and has stayed here all day. That is some serious commitment."

"Yeah," Eli looked vaguely embarrassed and avoided Tiffany's eyes. He looked over at Maddie and a grin materialized on his face. "Hey, there's a cute kid."

"Isn't she just?" Jake asked proudly, chest puffing out.

"I'm sure your kids will be just as cute, Eli," Judy teased.

"Hey whoa whoa!" Jake joked loudly. "You wanna make the kid a priest?"

The adults laughed indulgently while Eli smiled bashfully. "Go home, Eli," Jake said kindly. "The ladies and I will lock up."

"Thanks," Eli said, appreciative. He said his respective good byes and then proceeded to drive home.

Pulling into the Manning Manor he rested his head against the steering wheel. This constant cloud of disappointment hung over him, like a bad cold, and no matter how he distracted himself; it didn't seem to go away. Instead it continued to gnaw away, seeping into his skin and occupying his every thought.

He worked with renew determination at Booklovers because that's where he knew he was going to stay. He had no choice.

With great effort Eli collected himself, wandering into the kitchen where Lily was fixing herself a tomato and jam sandwich. Eli shook his head. Lily's eating habits were just weird.

"Eli!" Lily greeted him warmly through a mouthful of jam. "There's a message for you." She swallowed then continued. "Some man named Benton. He wanted to meet with you right away at his office. He said you'd know where."

"Straight away? Like now?" Eli stammered.

"Well yeah," Lily said innocently. "I tried calling you at Booklovers but Judy said you'd already left."

"I gotta go. I'll see you later," Eli called, turning on his heel and heading out.

"Will you be home for dinner?" Lily protested but it was useless as he was already gone. Lily sighed in frustration. 'Kids'.

Eli sat nervously waiting in the reception hall of "Light Ldt." Within a moment, Benton stuck his head out, looking aggrieved.

"Eli! You're late. Get in here."

Feeling like he'd been spat on, Eli shuffled into Benton's room.

"Don't just stand there and look pretty," Benton smirked. "Sit down, kid."

Eli gingerly did so.

Benton glanced irritably at his watch. "OK we don't have that much time so I'll just jump straight in. I thought I should discuss that interview you gave a week ago. I gotta say, you don't have the credentials I thought you would have."

"Sorry."

"No no, it's my fault for just assuming," Benton said blithely, flipping through some papers on his desk. Eli felt annoyance prickle him.

"Everyone else that came for that interview had at least three years formal education in music." Benton commented cheerily.

"Yeah I guess," Eli glowered, wondering why he was here.

"And, just between you and me, the way you conducted yourself in the interview was… well, it was like I was going to stab a hot poker in your gut at any moment," Benton chuckled indulgently, smirking and shaking his head.

Eli narrowed his eyes, deeply affronted. "Look, I'm sorry that I don't have some great experience at taking interviews. And it seems to me that there were plenty of other people more qualified so I don't know why you called me in here just so you can criticize me because frankly, I've had a really long day and don't have time for it."

Benton chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "Me neither. I like that, kid, you got some balls." His lips twisted into a smile, "although, if you talked like that to most of your employers you'd be fired immediately."

"Fired?" Eli repeated dumbly.

Benton reclined wistfully in his chair. "Most of the kids that came in here were so chock full of knowledge that they forgot the most important skill you need in music," he cupped his ears. "Ears. Frankly, you had an advantage coming here because the kid I saw at that festival was the only person in that whole damn place that was really listening. See, I get thousands of tapes from potential wannabes every day. And all the time I gotta use my ears to find that special something that no other wannabe's has. And you can know everything from Beethoven to Cat Stevens but if you can't listen then you're pretty useless." Benton cocked his head and was amused by Eli's stunned reaction.

"Now, I was being serious about my criticism. If and when I decide to move you from part time to full time I'll probably help fund to send you to one of those music schools just so you can get a degree, so I can say that all my staff are fully qualified and crap. And in future you may not wanna gape like an idiot every time the interviewer asks you a question. But despite everything," Benton threw his arms wide. "I'm offering you a part time job here. What do you say?"

"Say?" Eli shook his head, forcing himself out of his stupor. "Uh, yes I mean," Eli let out a relieved chuckle. "I would love to," he sighed.

"That's great. I'll see you next Monday. I'll give a schedule to the hours I expect you to work," shuffling around on his desk Benton finally gave Eli a time sheet. "Work it out with these 'Booklovers' people."

"Thanks," Eli stood up gratefully. "I'll see you next Monday I guess."

"Sure kid," Benton said, already immersed in his work. "Just bring your ears."

"The boy is back in town!" Jake strolled into Tiffany's house casually, not bothering to knock. Tiffany jumped but relaxed when she saw it was just Jake.

"Hello you," she said brightly. "Just in time for a diaper change."

"Really," Jake grinned. He indicated to the door. "I'll just come back in five."

Tiffany smirked, aware of his teasing. She held out the diaper for him. Jake smiled. He felt an odd desire to kiss her, a wanting that sent shivers down his spine. He settled for giving her a peck on the cheek instead.

Tiffany flushed and sat next to her ex-boyfriend. She noticed the ease in which Jake changed Maddie's diaper.

"How was work today?" Tiffany asked, carelessly brushing a stray blonde lock from her eyes. Jake shrugged as he changed replaced the dirty diaper with the clean one. "A little slow today, but hopefully with the whole heap of new arrivals coming up the patrons will go book crazy." He finished changing then proceeded to affectionately tickle his daughter's tummy. "So, how have you two been?" he asked as Maddie gurgled happily.

"Fine. I tried to get her into that lovely dress Monica bought her but she was very stubborn. She is a typical Capricorn." Tiffany smiled at her daughter.

"Is that right, you're being a pest?" Jake picked Maddie up, smiling down at her. Jake cooed at her. "I think someone wants their Mommy!" Jake Eskimo kissed Maddie then gently gave her to Tiffany. Tiffany snuggled her daughter to her chest, happily as Jake stood behind her. They gazed tenderly at their daughter, perfectly content. All was right in the world.

Rosenfeld's office was cozy.

It was one of the first things Jessie had noticed when, not long over a year, she had ventured into the room for the first time, determined to spurn this man, who was looking dissect the pieces of her life. An apprehension to speak about her feelings still lingered in her, even now, but as Jessie spied Rosenfeld's usual easy, gentle smile, sitting in a room so familiar, her heart stopped clanging so loudly in her chest.

"Jessie, hi," Dr. Rosenfeld said warmly, indicating for Jessie to sit. Uneasily she plonked down on one of the comfy chairs.

"So," Rosenfeld joked lightly, reclining laconically. "Rough week?"

Jessie chuckled ruefully. "You have no idea."

Rosenfeld cocked his head to the side, looking at her gently. "Want to tell me about it?" he asked, grinning. "I'm all ears!"

Jessie laughed at his playfulness. "I'm surprised you don't know," she said sardonically, rolling her eyes in disgust. "I'm sure Mom must have come in and told you."

"Do you think she'd do that?"

"Mom?" Jessie snorted. "I'm surprised she hasn't given you a thesis."

"Ok, so your Mom has told me." Rosenfeld admitted easily. "How does that make you feel?"

"I don't know," Jessie shrugged sullenly. "It doesn't really matter anyway."

"What doesn't matter?"

"I don't know," Jessie muttered resentfully. "Who cares who else knows? It's not like some big secret any more."

Rosenfeld frowned slightly. "So I guess that bugs you, since you wanted to keep this a secret." Jessie just shrugged so Rosenfeld decided on a different tact.

"How'd the parents take to this discovery?"

Jessie chuckled although her laugh was devoid of humour. "They were shocked I guess. They pretended it wasn't some big deal but…"

"It was a big deal."

"Yeah," Jessie's face started to fall, like a damn that was beginning to crumble. With great internal effort she pulled herself together, clenching her body tight, willing her emotions to go away. Rosenfeld noted the sore point.

"Your parents don't usually make a big deal out what you do, huh?" he noted gently.

Jessie looked away. "I don't know," she choked.

Rosenfeld nibbled the end of his glasses thoughtfully. "So how exactly did they make this a big deal? By grounding you, taking away phone privileges, not allowing you to see Katie?"

"Well that's the thing!" Jessie latched on this, facing Rosenfeld and drawing herself up indignantly. "They aren't punishing me. They keep saying how OK it is and how welcome Katie is but I know it's isn't true. They're lying to me," Jessie finished bitterly.

"Well, how would you have liked them to react?" Rosenfeld asked, a puzzled expression clouding his features.

"I don't know," Jessie's voice sounded choked again as she slouched in her chair. She waved her hand dismissively. "Anything other than…this!"

"Well have you thought about their point of view?" Rosenfeld asked, watching her closely. "Maybe, they might be at least trying to support you."

"I know that, OK!" Jessie challenged loudly, feeling his comments sting like precise incisions. She glowered at him, hackles raised.

Rosenfeld paused, waiting for Jessie to stop glaring. After a beat he then continued gently. "So what are you finding so difficult?"

"It's just…the way they're looking at me, because I see them, trying so hard to be supportive and trying to be there for me despite the fact that they're so obviously freaked. And they're trying so hard that it just…" Her entire body felt terribly alive, blood burning hot, and she thought that he must feel the scorching heat radiating from her body. Jessie drew away from Rosenfeld, chewing the inside of her cheek; hard. She pushed herself into the seat as far as possible, her back sinking against the fabric of the chair, blinking back tears, attempting to bring her body back to a normal equilibrium.

Rosenfeld silently took this in.

"And Katie, what does she think of all of this?"

"Katie?" Jessie replied weakly, relieved that she could move onto another topic. "She's uh, tried to help. But um," Jessie shook her head and stared at the floor, chastising her weakness. "We had…a, a fight. She got mad and left. And she hasn't spoken to me since."

"Are you serious?" Rosenfeld opened his eyes wide with shock. "My goodness, this is totally different from the Katie I know. I can't believe she doesn't want to talk to you at a time like this."

"Look it's ok," Jessie protested feebly.

"Are you sure? I mean, I thought she'd try and support you?" Rosenfeld said, clearly chagrined. Jessie lifted her eyes and stared at him, shock and confusion swimming amongst unshed tears.

"Stop!" Jessie pleaded

"Why stop? I can see that she's obviously upset you!"

"I said stop it it's not her fault," Jessie snarled, her vicious reply piercing the air. Rosenfeld's demeanor immediately shifted back to neutral, his eyes full of understanding.

"Whose fault is it then?" he asked softly.

Jessie blanched as if he had slapped her.

"It's no one's fault," Jessie whispered.

"If it's no one's fault, what is everyone so upset about?" Rosenfeld asked, the picture of befuddlement.

Jessie lowered her eyes, finding the couch fascinating. "I don't know."

"Jessie, if it's no one's fault what are you so upset about?"

His words lashed at her painfully as they reverberated in her mind. "Please stop," Jessie whimpered, tears bright in her eyes.

Rosenfeld looked at her solemnly. "It seems to be the secrets you're keeping now, they aren't fun anymore." His tone turned hard. "What are you hiding? Why can't you tell anyone?"

"Because it's me, ok!"

"What do you mean?"

"This whole thing happened because of me!" Jessie cried, chewing her pinkie furiously. "I shouldn't let us get caught. I should've made sure we were careful!"

"I get it," Rosenfeld soothed gently. "But why are you the one who has to be responsible?"

"Because somebody has to be!" Jessie snapped, her voice catching

Rosenfeld looked at Jessie for a moment, his mind ticking over frantically. He hesitated, then sucked in a breath as if he decided something.

"Is that why you need to punish yourself?" Rosenfeld said quietly.

"Punish myself?" Jessie repeated her voice small.

"If everything is your fault, is that why you're pushing people away?"

Jessie looked down and seemed every inch the scared, confused lost girl. For a moment, Rosenfeld thought he had pushed her too far.

"Why shouldn't I?" Jessie asked quietly. She sucked in a deep breath, but it did not prevent tears that fell and rolled quietly down her cheeks. She smiled bitterly. "Every one is so concerned about me," she whispered scornfully. "But the thing is; they shouldn't be."

"Why?"

"God isn't it obvious?" Jessie spat fiercely. "I'm. not .worth. it."

Jessie picked at her cuffs, the reality of her words beating her like a mace. "My parents are so disappointed in me. I let them down. I hurt them, and it's just after Mom has had an accident. And Katie…she cares about me so much but I can't voice it like she can and I know it hurts her and it would be just better for everyone if they didn't know me at all!" Jessie's face was soaked with tears. Familiar self- loathing gnawed at her gut. She tucked her knees into her chest, growing smaller and more diminished in Rosenfeld's sight.

"Maybe you have disappointed people." Rosenfeld said simply. "Maybe some people have been hurt." Jessie sniffled at this. Rosenfeld took a deep breath and continued. "But the thing is you can't keep thinking that it's your responsibility to keep everyone happy."

"What if it is?" Jessie whispered.

Rosenfeld smiled, his tone turning sardonic. "Well, that's a pretty lousy role in life. How can you be solely responsible for the happiness of your family? I mean, your dad seems pretty happy with his new marriage. From all accounts, since the accident your mom has had a new lease of life. Are you responsible for that?"

"No," Jessie mumbled.

"So you're not responsible for all the happiness in your family."

"N-no."

"Then how can you be responsible if something goes wrong?"

"I can't, OK!" Jessie choked angrily. Her face was soggy with tears. "I just wish…I just wish I hadn't hurt people."

"Jessie," Rosenfeld leaned towards her, clasping his hands together and regarding her earnestly. "In life, you're going to have to realize that you are going to hurt people. I mean, I think we've established that people are pretty stupid. They get all worked up over the weirdest things." Jessie smiled wanly as Rosenfeld continued. "And sometimes, when you hurt someone, you will be responsible. But sometimes…you're not at fault at all. Have you ever wondered that maybe it's your parents' responsibility to accept who you are?"

Jessie shrugged, clearly unsettled.

"And the thing is; you can't change how they feel about you by pushing them away…or by not eating." Jessie's head jerked up, eyes wide as guilt flashed across her face. A look of vehement denial then barged across her features but after a moment Jessie swallowed whatever comment she was about to make and stayed quiet, silently staring at Rosenfeld.

"You're only responsible for you. And if your parents are going to act kinda stupid, then you have to make sure that you don't act stupid too."

"How?"

Rosenfeld smiled. "I think you know."

Jessie wandered of therapy with a dazed expression on her face. Karen was sitting in her SUV going over her legal papers.

"Honey," Karen smiled, ushering her into the car. "How was therapy?"

"Good," Jessie muttered, clearly distracted. She turned and looked at her mother urgently. "Mom, can you do me a favor?"

Once they arrived Jessie immediately jumped out of the car. With a sense of trepidation she warily made her way up the garden path, ignoring the sounds of laughter from the neighbours' children or dogs barking or any other inane sounds of suburbia.

She stood demurely on the front porch, her sandals obscuring the tatty 'welcome' doormat. The wooden door stood forebodingly before her as she raised her hand and grazed its rough surface, flecks of paint lingering on her fingers. With a shaky sigh she rapped on the wood, once, twice, then waited.

Jessie heard someone trudging to the door and after a moment, a surprised Katie answered. "Jessie?"

"Hey Billie," Jessie answered weakly.

Katie looked touched but then her face hardened, sullenly crossing her gangly arms across her chest.

"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly, craning her neck past her own car and spying Karen watching them from her SUV.

"Look, I know I'm not your favorite person right now," Jessie stuttered. Katie's face didn't soften so Jessie sighed and took the remainder of her courage with two hands.

"And I know I've been…pushing you away."

Katie's eyes widened and unconsciously her arms fall to her side. She leant against the doorframe and watched Jessie cautiously.

"But the thing is," Jessie continued hoarsely, tears brimming. For once, she didn't hold them back. "The thing is, I can't…I can't lose you." She whispered.

"Oh," Katie murmured, her mouth dropping open.

"My parents…are kinda freaked right now," Jessie admitted. "But the thing is, they're going to have to get used to the fact that you are…you're my girlfriend," she choked.

Katie's mouth closed, a gleam of hope rising in her eyes.

"I mean, if you want me to be," Jessie amended quickly.

"If I want you to be?" Katie repeated incredulously. A smile grew that rose from her mouth to light up her eyes that twinkled with mischief

"Yes I do. So much!" Impulsively, she reached for the other girl pressed her tight within a fierce hug. Jessie buried her face in Katie's hair and whimpered, as she felt Katie cling to her; her hot breath tickling Jessie's cheek. Jessie squeezed her eyes shut as she felt all her strength seep from her body as she began to sob, hiccupping fiercely, beginning to release all the hurt and anger that clogged her heart.

Katie could hear Jessie's choked sobs as she clung to her; she kissed the tears that fell, the salt prickling her tongue.

Karen watched this from afar. The girls clasped each other, tightly entwined. Karen saw Katie gently cradle Jessie, watching her with an expression of reverence, as if she was holding something most precious.

Taking a deep breath, Karen smiled slightly, turned on the car and with a final loving look at her daughter, and drove off, leaving the girls standing on the doorstep, blissfully alone.