Never Leave
Written by Sanzo's Guardian Angel
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki.
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What the?
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'ONIMASHA, ONIMASHA!'
'What do you want?'
'What's the point in walking, when you'll never reach your destination?'
'Stop repeating the same old thing, I don't understand? You say this and yet, you don't make any sense?'
'So what? It's not like you have much time left…?'
'What are you talking about?'
'Don't you know? Don't you feel it? Your times almost up……'
'Your making it sounds like I'm going to…huh?'
'Took you long enough to realise'
'No…You don't mean…?'
'That's right, Death is waiting'
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'
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Time for a wake up call
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"Zonaki?" the door slammed open, Sanzo came in; he walked slowly, each step sounded louder than the last one.
Zonaki huddled, "No, no, no, no, no……" she mumbled, as she tightened her eyes, and her grip on the bed covers. Tears started to come down.
Sanzo then scrounged round in his robes and slowly pulled out the harisen and swung it down on Zonaki's head.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zonaki looked round, she seen Sanzo standing right beside her bed, he stared at her; Zonaki blushed and raised the covers over her head.
Sanzo frowned, and tugged the covers off, revealing Zonaki crying, again.
"What's wrong?" Sanzo took out a cigarette and inserted it into his mouth, Zonaki didn't answer. She just placed her hands over her face, feeling the icy tears touching her hands.
'I feel like a prat, an emotional, helpless prat' Zonaki felt awful and embarrassment, she didn't want to remove her hands, especially in front of that man.
Sanzo took out his lighter and sets the cigarette a light; he smoked out the white tobacco smoke, and then looked down at Zonaki, "How long are you going to cry for?" Sanzo sighed.
Zonaki still didn't answer, she was afraid to reveal her weakness or worse her sensitiveness, "Ummmm?" Zonaki huddled her knees up, this made her feel really uneasy.
"Well?" Sanzo was clearly losing his patience, Zonaki, feeling insecure
'What am I going to do? Think Zonaki…you don't even know if what she said was true? But it usually is? I mean when did she ever make a mistake? Well I, I…aww man…'
Zonaki started to panic, she immediately pulled the covers over her head, and Sanzo grabbed the cover before she could pull it over her head again, Sanzo looked at her from the corner of his eye, Zonaki slapped her hands over her face again.
"Why don't you just say that you're not feeling very well than give me all this hassle?" Sanzo closed his eyes.
"Sorry" Zonaki whispered softly, as she continued to cry, this was actually the first time she ever cried in front of Sanzo.
'Now I feel like a helpless, emotional, sensitive, prat' Zonaki didn't want to move, didn't want to admit.
'How can I ever tell them that I might die without even knowing if it's true or not…?'
"Get up and get dressed…"
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Can't stop thinking about it…
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"Should we get anything before we leave town?" Hakkai turned back, from the driver's seat to face Gojyo, Goku and Zonaki. Gojyo and Goku shook their heads signalling that they didn't need anything, Zonaki didn't answer, she was just leaning her head on her hand, and leaning her arm on the side of the jeep.
"Zonaki?" Zonaki didn't answer, this is usually the part where she shouts out cigarettes, but today something really important was going though her mind. Hakkai didn't bother to call her name again, because she wouldn't answer.
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How much longer is she going to sit there for?
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"Hey no fair" Zonaki looked beside her; Gojyo and Goku were playing a card game, Gojyo won again.
"How isn't that fair, those are the rules"
Zonaki ignored them and looked at the endless deserted dessert, mountains of sand all over the place and not a single sign of civilisation. Zonaki sighed. The wind blew rapidly through her hair. She gently closed her eyes hearing the countless echo's the wind made.
'Why can't I just disappear? What ever I did in my past, I must've made a lot of people mad at me…not to mention brought them a lot of pain, that nightmare…that endless horrible nightmare, when will it end……?'
'It'll never end…'
Zonaki opened her eyes again, 'that voice…It sounded so…familiar…I…I must've heard it along time ago, before I lost my memory? Who is it?'
"Hey Zonaki?" Zonaki turned round to her left, Gojyo was looking at her
"Why are you so quite it isn't like you…?" Zonaki blinked, wondering what he meant. "It's like your expecting to die or something" Zonaki flinched and turned her head away, trying hard not to cry.
'I'm sorry Gojyo, I wish I could really tell you what's wrong…but, but I'm just so scared, I never want this jeep to stop…cause I don't know what'll happen? When it does I might not be around to see you all smile…'
Zonaki was hoping, that'll never stop, cause if it does, the five members going to the West, could be reduced to four, and Zonaki doesn't want them to worry.
The end, To be continued