Ooh, this is a long one. All you fans, all one of you, are gonna love this one! Hooray for spell check! An update, can you believe it? I was just reading through this very fic just to see how much I rule, when I realized, it sucks. Yeah, not just a boring suck , I mean just welcomes flames & needs to die. Well now I promise I'll do better.

In the place of a dear friend lost in the first chapter, we bring you Glitter Girl, cause It's the only thing I can think of right now. Glitter girl, audience; audience, Glitter girl.

We join the crew in a heated debate.

'There is no way Sesshomaru is human, no way!"

"Well he eats tequitos doesn't he?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I feel nothing."

HB has wandered off to god knows where. What are 'equities'? Sessy is watching Gacy, a movie that makes author cry. Poor guy hooker, & he was so angelic.

N has begun to go in & out through his bedroom window so we can't catch him But we know he's back when Columbus' left earlobe twitches. She knows things.

A blood curdling scream of, 'Why are you sniffing my underwear?' can be heard from N's room. We now know where HB went. Ah, Naraku's panties, I'm wearing a pair as we speak, type.

Muffled musings, "What? You'd look really good in a thong!"

Monotone terror, "Take them off."

More Muffle Musings. " Ooh, kinky huh? Well, sure I'll take them off."

Vomiting.

N decides to join us in the living quarters, room. Karakul, I like that name.

'What kind of whirlwind adventure shall we go on today', I wonder. Nothing really seems fun right now. How about we go to the actual Inuyasha thing & send the real greasy haired Naraku to make a sandwich. That sounds like fun doesn't it? Well follow me children, and let Auntie Lynn show you the way!

REAL Inu Yasha:

Naraku was masturbating to his Kikyo porn when he decided he wanted a sandwich. Vulgar, I know, but know that he will wash his hands before eating said sandwich.

A simple trip to the kitchen he thought, but oh was he wrong. As he walked through what will look like my future home, he heard a faint growl. Thinking it was his empty tummy, he didn't acknowledge it. I few feet (or meters) later he heard it again, but this time louder. 'Now this is getting ridiculous!', he thought. So he turned around only to come face to face with that baby-crying-giant-aborted-scorpion-fetus thing from Hellraiser! "Oh shit", he squee-ed to no one in particular. I roll the dice and they decide that he gets a sword and the pants to a suit of armor, because I don't have any life points left…well the breast plate then, that will help more.

So he gets his armor and sword, then, chanting the words he learned as a wee child he says, "Thunder, thunder, THUNDER CATS, HOOOOOO!" Yeah, and using the powers of the planet Liono's from, he destroys the creepy Hellraiser monster and saves Castle Grey Skull!

Whew, that was close. So he's walking, and, he's walking…when he sees aaaaa(n)….. UNICORN! Yeah, a Unicorn. That word is so magical it needs to be capitalized.

Except instead of a horn it has a dildo. Gigiddy, gigiddy, goo! And, it does something, and Naraku doesn't care. Well, he cares how it got there but he doesn't care what it did, so he keeps walking. Can you tell I'm making this up off the top of my head?

Then all of a sudden ninjas appear! And they're all like, "Hey hommes, we all bad, & we gun' cut you good, man!" & He's all like" Try it Beaners!" So they do. And with his awesome sexin' powers, he instead, cuts them good.

By now, to him, this is all getting very tiresome. So he continues through the halls which have miraculously turned into a tropical rainforest, so now he's got all these damn mosquitoes. He wishes he'd brought his 'OFF'. He manages to bite & flail his way out of the forest, when all of a sudden…

Gackt, yes Gackt, the epitome of human perfection, shows his beautiful, god-like face. Ok, I need to go jerk one off, but I will return momentarily.

Alright, I'm back. So Naraku has to face off with Gackt to get his sandwich, and damn it, he'll do it!

Gackt, being the superior life form he is, finds Naraku to inferior to even speak to, so he just looks at him all, egotistical like. That, and he can't speak English worth a shit & I don't know very much Japanese.

"Tentacle rape attack!", shouts Naraku.

But, Gackt is wise to his ways, and I think he'd like that tentacle rape thing. Perv.

Gackt uses his tight-shiny-pants of doom attack, disintegrating Naraku's tentacle root things.

Naraku is pissed, he lunges at Gackt! But, Gackt, being Gackt, uses his rubber spine attack.

Naraku misses and lands flat on his face. He's had enough, and so has Gackt.

Now the final crescendo, the crème de la crème. It's nice how they have those little accent things in spell check.

Gackt uses Gackt Face™.

But Naraku has a face of his own. He uses uber-goff look!

It is miraculously strong enough to counter the Gackt Face™ !

Gackt gives him that look of, ' You are indeed a worthy opponent.' and he takes a step back.

"Beam me up Scotty." He says. And he is teleported back to his mother ship where he undoubtedly has to perform an anal probe. Yeah right, anal probe, more like BUTT SEX!

Naraku's journey is at an end. He walks into the kitchen to make his sandwich only to find that he has no bread. His mascara runs.

A/N: Wasn't that sad? What do you want me to write about next, fan? Birthday, thanksgiving, meet the parents?