Disclaimer: I don't own DC or Teen Titans. Kmarganarff and all kmarganarff related rituals are mine, though.

Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind

Chapter 9: Starfire

Greetings! I am the Teen Titan known as Starfire. It is the literal translation of my Tamaranian name, which is Koriand'r, although my other friends do not know this; not even Raven, with whom I have shared most of the details about my life. I am also the Princess of Tamaran, but that title holds no importance to me.

After coming to Earth, I have come to realise how foolish it is that bloodlines determine who is Grand Ruler on Tamaran, rather than who is best suited for such a position. I wonder if Galfore will continue the tradition and give the throne to his children… In any case, it is most fortunate that I am not the Grand Ruler, for I am not what Robin would call 'leader material'.

Do not misunderstand, Robin has never told me that I am not 'leader material', but he has talked of 'leader material' when referencing Cyborg or his tutor, 'Bat Man', and from the way he talks about them, I know that I am not 'leader material'. I would like to meet this 'Bat Man' one day – it would be most interesting to see where the Robin that I know came from, just as I am sure it was interesting for Robin to meet Galfore and see the similarities between us.

Although, for much of that time Robin seemed most angry and sad, so I am not sure he was paying attention. I understood his feelings on that day, because I felt them when he was forced to take the most evil and horrible Kitten on a 'date'. I recall that I was most puzzled after the conclusion of that mission.

You see, on Tamaran, prospective mates are open about their feelings for each other as early as possible, which often leads to conflict. I had assumed that our feelings for one another were made clear that night, especially after the most magical dance we shared. I confess that I was not skilled in the dancing, but it was a most wonderful experience. I had assumed that we had just gone on a 'date', and that we were now the boyfriend and the girlfriend. But then, the next day, Robin seemed almost exactly the same as before. It was most puzzling.

However, the most puzzling thing was the fact that Robin is a great warrior. For on Tamaran, warriors are even more open about their intentions towards mates than normal Tamaranians. That does not seem to be the case on Earth. From watching the TV, I have come to the conclusion that Earth females prefer males who are at the same time modest but confident, and quiet yet not shy.

It is most confusing.

As is Robin.

And I believe that Robin is the reason that I am talking to you now. You see, earlier today I was engaging in the 'post Kmarganarff bathing experience', wherein a Tamaranian hangs upside down in midair and bathes in the freedom of the experience. It is a most vital part, because if the ritual is not completed, the Kmarganarff becomes highly lethal and burns away the face of any taking part in the ritual. Robin commented about the danger of such a ritual, but I find Earth beauty products to be so… weak in comparison to Tamaranian ones.

And so, that is how Robin found me; floating upside down in my room, my back to the wall, the Kmarganarff still covering my face. I was most embarrassed that Robin was seeing me in such a condition, but I did not dare move for fear of interrupting the ritual. However, we are free to speak in the ritual as long as we remain upside down and do not open our eyes.

Robin wished to speak to me about something 'important'. I felt uncomfortable with Robin talking to me while I was upside down, and so he decided to stand upside down himself, putting his legs against the wall I had my back to and balancing on his hands.

That is the part of Robin that you do not see very often; the kindness. For example, whenever I or the others are feeling bad about something, Robin will secretly leave a present in our room to raise our spirits. He will deny any knowledge it, but it is most obvious that it was he who put it there. In truth, it was most likely this kindness that attracted me to him when we first met.

That is not to say that my other friends are unkind; it is very much the opposite. However, they have all, at one time or another, become impatient with my lack of knowledge about Earth culture. They are not obvious, but I can tell. Friend Cyborg frowns and blows air from his nose; friend Beast Boy rapidly scratches his neck; and friend Raven rolls her eyes. Robin, however, has never shown anything but kindness and understanding towards me, even though I had done nothing to earn it.

Robin asked me about 'relationships in the team', and my heart 'skipped a beat'. Is that the correct term? I am unsure, but it sounds very much correct. I attempted to control my reaction, but I have never been good at hiding my emotions. I have never needed to, in all truthfulness.

I have only lied once in my life, and that was for Silkie, so I believe it was justified. In any case, I was unsure of what to say, and there was a long and awkward silence. There are many of those when Robin wishes to talk to me of something 'important'.

He inquired if I approved of relationships within the team. If I approved of… romantic relationships. I did not know what to say, but there was one thing I did know; that he was talking about us. Do not tell me how I knew, but I was sure. And so, I merely told him that whatever decision he made, I would understand.

He was not expecting this, because he fell from his upside down position and crashed to the floor. I wished that I could have helped him up, but I could not even see where he was. Robin then said goodbye, and I was left alone once again, although I was not as peaceful and calm as I was before.

At that moment, I wished that I could have spoken to friend Raven. We have frequent, I believe the phrase is 'girl talks', although friend Raven is not very… what is the word friend Beast Boy uses… 'chatty'. However, she talks much more than she did when we first met, so I am happy for that. It is most unusual that I find her so easy to share my difficulties with, particularly because she is everything that Tamaranians are not, in that she is very quiet and controlled but also possesses great strength.

On Tamaran, quietness is related with weakness, and loudness to strength. This is why I knew that friend Cyborg and friend Beast Boy were strong when I first met them. However, I have come to learn from my time on Earth that loud does not necessarily mean strong, and quiet does not necessarily mean weak. Our enemy Slade is very quiet, and yet he is one of the most deadly, and indeed, frightening people I have ever met.

Robin is also very quiet. I must confess that I was most surprised by his skill as a warrior when I first saw him in battle.

Oh! I am doing the changing of the subject to Robin! I apologise. I will attempt to remain on the topic. Friend Raven can frequently be very unkind in how she speaks to her friends, although I have come to learn that she does not mean what she says on these occasions. I remember that I would be most hurt when she would refuse to do the hanging out with me.

On Earth, one who responds in such an emotional way would be considered weak, yes? But I do not care. My friends, to me, are the most important part of my life. Without friends, I would most likely be like my sister Blackfire.

I am very grateful that friend Cyborg and friend Beast Boy are very open about how they feel, although even I find their arguments about the breaking of the fast tiresome at times. However, if they did not argue every morning, it would not be the same; something would be missing. Beast Boy and Cyborg are most entertaining, although Cyborg is not as… obvious as Beast Boy is.

Beast Boy enjoys being the center of the attention, and I am most willing to let him simply enjoy it… most of the time. As time has gone on, however, I have begun to understand why friend Raven is so frequently angry with Beast Boy. Although as I have said, one cannot take Raven too seriously – and Beast Boy never does.

With friend Cyborg, I find that I can always depend on him to improve my mood, no matter what the cause. I recall how I felt after Robin's activities as Red X were revealed to us, and how Cyborg cooked a most glorious meal for us to make us feel better. And although Robin had elected not to join us, I still enjoyed it, because I realised that everything would be all right.

I still do not understand what drove Robin to become the Red X. Although I do not understand his obsession with Slade either. I simply endure both and help him as much as I can.

Those are the times I feel this terrible pain inside. When Robin has become so consumed by something that he becomes… something dark, and most definitely something that is not the Robin I care for. I am sure it is most difficult for my other friends to understand why, but it is again because of my Tamaranian heritage that I act this way.

When a Tamaranian is happy, they are ecstatic, and when they are angry… well, many villains have been on the receiving end of my anger, and they will tell you just how deadly an angry Tamaranian can be. And so, when a Tamaranian is unhappy and worried...

Oh, I apologise! I do not mean to make you unhappy as well, but Robin…

I am talking about Robin once again! I am sorry. In all truthfulness, I often find it frustrating that my thoughts linger on him at the most inconvenient moments. Such as our hand to hand training sessions, which are most wonderful. I enjoy that we are always last on the list, as it allows us to spend time together without Robin feeling embarrassed. It confuses me how Robin can become embarrassed by his feelings. It is not as if I could be displeased by them.

Unfortunately, I usually end up injuring Robin during our training sessions. I must confess, I do become most distracted during these sessions because of how close I am to Robin as we fight. I often have to stop myself from giggling because of the nervousness I feel, although I am not always successful. I am doubly embarrassed by this, because I doubt that Robin becomes distracted during these sessions, because he is most serious and professional about the training.

In all honesty, I do not know the extent of Robin's feelings towards me. I know that it is something more than the friendships he has with the others, but after I was stranded on that alien planet with him, I have become unsure of what he feels towards me. Perhaps he does not know.

Or perhaps he does not feel the same way for me as I do him. He could have been talking about friend Raven. Although it shames me to admit it, I have begun to feel the jealousy… because Robin and Raven are alike in as many ways as Robin and I are different. He seems to have no difficulty talking to her, whereas when he is around me, he engages in the blushing and the stuttering as if he is embarrassed to be there talking to me.

Oh! The kmarganarff is drying! I apologise for leaving, but I must remove it before an hour passes or it will become a part of my face, and that would be most unpleasant.

Goodbye, friend… um… I am unsure of your name, so I will simply say many thank you's for listening!

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(A/N: Well? Mustard good? Or Mustard bad? Review!)

Next: Robin has carried out his (very simple) plan, but what will he do? You'll just have to wait and see…