Under the Full Moony

Scroll 8: Sweet Severus

Sirius PoV

We're doing homework. The teachers have always piled it up before exams, but not like this. Never like this.

Maybe it's because of the O.W.L.s ... oh right. Back to work.

I sigh and turn back to page 352 of The Advanced Book of Spells.

I have to pass these things ... and I have to finish that stupid essay.

But it's so bloody HARD to concentrate.

So hard.

When Moony's right next to me and the common room's empty except for us four. And I can hear him breathing.

Not Prongs, and not Peter, just him ... breathing ... bent over the parchment, frowning over his glasses at page 355, and scratching his chin with the end of his quill.

Drip.

He sighs as he accidentally blots his homework. He's never failed a test before, but he's specially anxious about the Potions portion.

He's never been specially good at them.

O.W.L.s mean a lot to him.

Oh right, O.W.L.s ... essay ... study ... must focus ...

But it's TOO difficult ... WHY must he have those strange Dumbledore-type glasses ...oh, but they look so much better on him ... so cute ...

O.W.Ls!

I turn back to page 352. But my eyes flicker back up.

Remus smiled and rolls up his parchment, "Well, I'm finished. Good-night everyone."

Peter looks up anxiously, "Can I see your-"

"Sorry Peter, no ... you've got to learn on your own."

He half-waves and walks up the stairs.

I sigh and turn back to page 352.

On the bright side ... I can concentrate now ...

Normal PoV

June; Hogwarts Express

"So how do you think you did, Remus?" Sirius asked, leaning against him.

Remus glanced sideways at him, "O.W.L.s, you mean?"

He turned back to his book.

"Yes, Moony. O.W.L.s ... why are you being so ... weird! You've hardly said a word ..."

"Peter, kindly inform Mr. Black that he may speak to me when he has learned to be a human being and not tease innocent people just because he is bored."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Peter, tell Mr. Loopy that I've only two things to say to him. One: If he wants, he can go comfort his boyfriend Snivellus, instead of sitting here with us. And Two: He probably doesn't have the faintest idea of what being a human being is!"

Peter and James gasped.

"Padfoot ..." began James. "You went ... a little too far ..."

Sirius' eyes were flashing, and he was pouting angrily. Remus' eyes has stopped moving over the page and he'd gone white.

Suddenly he closed the book with a snap and stood up, the book fell to the floor. He glared for a moment at Sirius, then looked at the floor and smiled at Peter, "I'll be patrolling the corridors ... then I shall be in the Prefects carriage if you need me ..."

Sirius sighed as Remus strode out, "Moony, wait-"

His words were cut off by Remus slamming the compartment door shut.

Sirius quickly followed him, "Moony! Remus! Wait ..."

He caught Remus' arm and whirled him around, "I didn't mean it ..."

"It's time you realize how much you can hurt a person with mere words ... have a good summer, Mr. Black."

Sirius gaped after him. Then he turned and strode back to his compartment, but something caught his eye.

"Jorkins!" he whirled around and aimed a hex just as a figure ducked behind a sliding door. "Honestly, get a LIFE!"

"How'd it go, Padfoot?"

Sirius ignored him and sat where Remus had previously sat, stretching out on the seat.

Peter gave James a meaningful look and James got up, "I'll be right back with something that'll cheer you up Padfoot."

James returned with a copy of Adult Wizard, "Smith let me borrow it."

James held it up, open to a picture of a very naked, very pretty woman.

Peter turned red instantly and Sirius' mouth dropped open.

The girl in the picture flipped over and winked at them, she began making suggestive movements when Sirius grabbed the book away and threw it to the ground, "James! I am NOT going to see that!"

Peter picked it up quickly, "Well I am!"

"Here, here!" said James.

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked at the book Remus had dropped. He picked it up and looked through it, stopping at the chapter on major constellations.

Smiling at Canis Major, Sirius thought, 'Astronomy ... who needs it ... '

He looked at the brightest star in the constellation and in the sky, "Sirius, the Dog Star ..."

'Remus ... '

The door slid open and for a fleeting second, Sirius was sure it was Remus, as if he'd mentally called him.

It was Smith.

"Hey um ..." he began nervously. "Can I have my magazine back?"

James sighed and threw it at him, "Has it been twenty minutes already?"

"Yes."

"Okay, leave!"

Smith practically ran away, his magazine clutched in his sweaty hands.

Sirius grinned and sat up to watch as Smith ran smack into someone coming out of the first compartment.

It was Remus.

Sirius, James, and Peter watched as Remus frowned at the magazine. He looked through it and turned very red. Shaking his head, he tapped it and ...

It burst into flames.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James ran out and sank to his knees in front of the still smoldering ashes. Sirius followed, laughing.

"Well that's a nice ending, Prongs," Sirius said.

"What's going on here!" asked a girl's voice.

Lily Evans walked out and looked at James, who immediately stood up and messed his hair up in one quick motion, "Hello Evans ..."

Sirius sniggered at James' "mature voice" as he called it, and James stepped on his foot.

Lily looked at Remus frowning, "What's going on, Remus?"

"Well ... I've just confiscated and gotten rid of a particularly ... crude magazine, if you please."

"Well why was Potter yelling?"

Remus smiled, "I assure you it is quite alright, he just thought I was setting Mr. Smith here on fire. He came to Smith's aid."

Lily raised an eyebrow, "Either Smith owes him something, or he's setting James up with a girl. Otherwise he'd just have let Smith burn and snuff it."

With a nod at Remus, she left, sliding the compartment door closed behind her.

James sank to his knees again, smiling like an idiot, "She used my NAME! She called me JAMES!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Get a grip .. now let's go ..."

The four walked back to the compartment. It wasn't until Sirius reached for the Astronomy book at the same time Remus did, that he noticed Lupin's presence.

Lupin smiled, "I suppose you were trying to make up for the fact you were ogling at some naked women."

Sirius said defensively, "I did nothing of the sort, excuse me!"

Remus looked at him, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Fine, don't believe me ..." Sirius looked away.

Remus regarded him a moment, "You really didn't?"

"No! I was looking at the book of yours! I can name the THREE constellations on page 325!"

"Go on then."

"Canis Major, Lupus, and Leo!"

Remus smiled, "Alright ..."

"Why does it matter?" asked Peter suddenly. "He IS a boy ... "

James coughed twice and shot a glare at Peter.

Remus frowned and Sirius looked away.

Finally Remus spoke, "It doesn't really matter ... it's just I never thought of you and Sirius as perverts ... James maybe."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean-"

As James ranted on and on and begged Remus not to tell Lily that, Sirius grew quieter, and quieter.

'Was that all ...? For a moment there I really thought he was jelo- nah ... not Remus ... he thinks of you as just a friend ... get it into your head, Padfoot!'

Finally, the train stopped and there was a scramble to get one's trunks and make it out of the train.

Remus stopped Sirius on the way out of the compartment, "Hey ...? I noticed ... something's wrong with you."

Sirius shrugged and walked out, into the crowd. Remus followed, "Is it because of what I said ... that it didn't matter."

Sirius shrugged again and walked out of the train, Remus walking alongside him, "Sirius? Is it?"

Finally Sirius faced him, "Yeah ... but whatever. Like you-"

"I'm a good liar, aren't I!" Remus said with a laugh. Then with a wink he walked away to find his parents, leaving Sirius staring after him.

Sixth Year

"Have we got things planned for this year!"

Sirius grinned at Remus, who was sitting across from him in the train compartment.

Remus rolled his eyes, "What's new?"

"Well, James has got the most perfect idea! We could create some sort of guide or map or something ... telling all the secrets of Hogwarts!"

"AND," began James excitedly. "We're working on all sorts of new spells! Snivellus is going to have fun this year! Setting buttocks on fire ... clothes-changing according to gender."

Remus sighed and rummaged through his trunk for something to read, "You're all insane ..."

"And so are you, Moony! Remember, we're all Marauders," Sirius turned to James.

James grinned, "That's right. All for one and one for all!"

"Catch your pants before they fall!" finished Sirius.

Remus felt his pants sliding off and stopped rummaging immediately and grabbing the waist of his pants, "I can't believe you! Look at my belt!"

James snickered, "We warned you."

"What are you doing!"

Sirius stared at Remus, "It's the first day back! We're getting started on the gender-clothes-changing!"

"We have an essay to do!"

"Yeah, isn't Slughorn a rotten piece of-"

"Well why aren't you working on it!"

"Because! I don't like Potions!"

"Then WHY did you choose it!"

"I didn't want you to feel like a loser! All alone in that class with no one but ... Snivellus ... plus! It's good to know how to recognize poisons ... and stuff ..." Sirius cleared his throat and continued tapping his wand on a quill.

"Well, I'm going to the library. I'll be there if you need me."

"Not Greyback, again!"

"No! I need the book Silent Killers: A Guide to Poisons ... for the essay ... "

"Right, yeah whatever ..." said Sirius moodily. "I can't believe you're going to start ditching us already ..."

"Sirius," began Remus, pulling Sirius' tie. "I barely passed Potions ... I need all the help I can get ... when I'm done, I'll come right back."

"Okay ... and will you let us copy?"

Remus shook his head, "If you must. Have you seen my quill?"

Remus reached for the quill Sirius had been tapping. Sirius' eyes widened, "No don't-!"

Remus' clothes shortened into a girls' uniform: a very short gray skirt, a long-sleeves shirt with the tie neatly tied, knee-length socks, and girly boots. His eyes widened and he looked down, "SIRIUS!"

"I told you not to-"

Sirius looked Remus up and down, "Hey ... you look good ..."

Remus rolled his eyes and threw him the quill, "Now I have to go change-"

"It'll wear off in a few minutes! Anyway, who's going to be at the library on the first day!"

Remus sighed and walked out of the common room as fast as he could, hoping no one would recognize him.

Sirius bit his lip as he watched Remus go, his skirt flying out and showing off much more than Remus would have liked, "Mmm Mmm Mmm ..."

He turned to James, "I think I like this spell, a lot."

'I guess Sirius was right ... no one here.'

Madam Pince barely looked at him as he walked to the Potions Section of the library. Remus looked for the book Silent Killers. He was just about to give up and go back to the common room, when a very old book with a dark-green cover caught his eyes.

'That's it!'

But just as he reached for it, another hand reached for it. A pale, sallow-skinned hand. Remus looked at Severus Snape in surprise. Snape just looked him over, then his gaze flickered to Remus' face.

Remus blushed as Snape's upper lip curled in disgust, "I never knew you were into cross-dressing, Lupin."

With that he took the book to a table in the corner, walking in his twitchy manner.

Remus bit his lip but walked over to the table, "I need to borrow that book ..."

Snape glared at him, black eyes glittering, "I don't think I care."

Remus looked around. Had any of the other Marauders been with him, he'd never had done it. But since the coast was clear he sat down across from Snape.

"I need that book. I'm terrible at Potions. I will sit here and wait until you are finished with it."

Snape looked up at Remus, "Why'd you take it for N.E.W.T. classes then?"

"Because-"

"Never mind, I don't care."

Remus watched Snape work, flipping through pages rapidly, scribbling furiously on the paper.

"You really like Potions, right Severus?"

Snape looked up, eyes narrowed, a cold calculating look, "Yes ... but I prefer the Dark Arts ..."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "I assume you mean Defense Against the-"

"No, Lupin. I meant the Dark Arts."

Snape held Lupin's gaze for a long time, finally looking away, flipping pages frantically.

'Well, who better to explain Golpalott's Third Law that the Potions Class genius? It's worth a shot anyway ...'

"I don't understand-"

"Many things," cut in Snape.

"-Golpalott's Third Law," finished Remus simply

Snape raised an eyebrow, "You're a Gryffindor. You're not supposed to understand that sort of thing. You're supposed to be good at Quidditch and Transfiguration, and have all the girls chasing after you."

"I think that's annoying too," said Remus with a smile.

Snape gaped at him, "What are you insinuating?"

"Only that we're very much alike-"

"How so!"

"We don't like being the center of attention, preferring the background-"

"I see," Snape looked at him with that cold, calculating look, before turning back to the book.

"Golpalott's Third Law ... states that the antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components," recited Snape from memory.

Remus looked at him blankly.

Snape sighed, "Okay, let's see ... in words YOU'D understand ... a BLENDED poison, obviously has more than ONE poison in it, right?"

Remus nodded, not at all offended by Snape's rudeness in treating him like an idiot.

"So, when you use Scarpin's Revelaspell and SEPARATE the different poisons ... THEN you can find the substance that counters the poison. In short the ANTIDOTE, you know, that word we learned in second year? It's useful ... remember it."

Remus just kept nodding.

"So ALL the poisons that make up the blended poison have substances that counter them. You need to use ALL the ANTIDOTES in the ANTIDOTE for the BLENDED POISON."

Remus nodded, "Okay, I get that, but the next part confuses me. It says something about sums and equal to, how do you know-"

"Ah yes, sums ... those are difficult for your feeble brain, I expect. But let's see if I can explain."

Snape ripped off a large bit of parchment, "Okay, say we have Hystedoxida."

Snape drew a cauldron, "When we use Specialis Revelio, we see that this blended poison is comprised of Alihotsy leaves and, doxy fangs, and snake fangs."

"So now we find the antidotes for those?"

"Right ... Alihotsy leaves cause hysteria, and are countered by ..."

Remus reached over and flipped through the pages of Silent Killers while Snape rolled his eyes.

"Um ... Grumbumble Esscence?"

"Right. Now, Doxy venom is usually countered by the most simple antidote."

Snape looked at Remus, expectantly, but Remus looked stumped.

"It comes from the stomach of a goat?"

Blank.

"It's a stone ..."

Blank.

"It's on the page you have the book open to!"

"Oh ... um ... a bezoar."

"Right, but since snake fangs make the poisons twice as powerful we have to ..."

Remus looked down at all the squiggly marks and symbols on the parchment that Snape had drawn.

"Oh come on, Lupin! A PAIR of snake fangs! How much is a PAIR! It's TWO! That means-"

"You'll have to add twice as much of the antidote to counter the blended poison," cut in Remus.

"Nice of you to join the real world," sniggered Snape. "So instead of one bezoar?"

"Two."

"And instead of 25 milliliters of Grumbumble Esscence?"

"Fifty milliliters."

"And so concludes this tedious job. Good-bye."

Remus smiled, "Thank you for helping me, Severus."

Snape gaped at him, "I ... I didn't HELP you ... I ... just ... "

Then Snape glared at him, the cold calculating look back, "Go play with your little friends already ..."

Remus smiled, "Thanks anyway."

With that Remus grabbed the parchment with the 'explanation' on it and left quickly, skirt flying out behind him..

Snape stared after him, thinking, 'His arse is showing and he doesn't care ... honestly ... all Gryffindors are alike.'

A/N: "giggles madly" Lupin in a skirt. HAHAHAHA! Anywho ... Snape ... help Lupin ... WHY! Hmm ...

"wink" "wink"

Review and I just might tell you!

SIRIUS BEGINS TO REALIZE HE'S ATTRACTED TO REMUS AND DENIES HE IS A POOF ITS JUST REMUS NOT OTHER BOYS IN GENERAL AND HE STILL LIKES GIRLS

SNAPEUNDERPANTS SCENE ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL