Her Sweetness: A weird new writing style for me. But I like it. And Claire's love of Chaseshipping really made this happen! She's gotten inside my head.
I should leave.
I should get on that train and leave and go and never be here again.
…
So why am I still here?
I can hear everything around me. Kind of. I can hear people talking and I can hear people laughing and talking and laughing and laughing about me. About me, are they laughing about me? Are they?
Why?
I just stand here, on the train's platform, ticket in hand and they're laughing about me.
They want me to go?
…
Or do they want me to stay? Do they want me to go or stay?
They want me to go.
I want me to go.
I want me to go! Go!
But why am I still here? Ticket in hand, at the train's platform, why am I still here? Why?
I know one thing for sure. He wants me to go.
He does.
He told me. He wants me to get up, get on the train's platform and leave and go and never come back, never come back to him or anything or anyone. Or Domino.
But I can't go!
My legs are wobbling, the voices are getting louder and the train should come in about two minutes, that's what my ticket says. In two minutes, I'm supposed to go.
But why? Why should I go? Why should I get on this train and leave him and my friends and Domino, why should I go?
Why can't he go?
If he went and was on this platform and was waiting for the train and was waiting for everything to stop for him so he could catch this train and leave, I would still be here.
I WOULD STILL BE HERE.
…
Don't make me leave.
Don't make me go.
Let's throw this ticket away and pretend none of it ever happened and I could come back to him and we could stay here forever and we would never have to get on this train.
I wouldn't have to get on this train.
I wouldn't leave.
The sounds are getting ever louder now! They won't stop, they won't go away, they won't…
Let me stay here.
Let me stay here.
Please.
…
"Now arriving, 118. Now arriving, train 118 out of Domino."
…
No.
My legs are moving. A line forms. The train has pulled to a stop and everything's moving so quickly, every person is trying to get on the train and I'm trying to get on it, but I can't, I'm standing here and the doors are open.
"Are you getting on?"
No…
"Yes, I'm coming."
I pick up my bag and start going towards the door and the man is standing there waiting for my ticket. His hand looks so inviting; he wants me to go, to go with him.
I'm going.
I'm going with him, I am.
"Stop."
A voice. It makes me tremble and my spine shivers and I look behind me and there he is.
"Don't go. Come on, come home with me."
I…
Shouldn't go? But you said… you SAID. You SAID to go, get out of here, I never want to see you again, you SAID. You did… You SAID to leave, you BOUGHT me this ticket. You did…
"Come on."
I turn away and hand the ticket to the man. He rips it in half and moves aside so I can get on.
"Don't leave."
I can feel the tears welling in my eyes now and I can't believe he's telling me NOT to leave. You SAID, you SAID…
I shake my head slowly and look back at him for the first time in nearly two days… And even though he SAID get on the train, you worthless whore, get on the train… Leave.
He's smiling.
The train leaves. Without me. And what should I do now?
Tristan?
What should I do now?