Under the Full Moony

Scroll 20: Lie Low At Lupin's

Midnight ... the dark time of night when you think everyone's sleeping ... A loud howl pierces the air and the sound of chains rattle against the walls of the basement.

12:00 AM

Padfoot! Padfoot! Moony wants Padfoot! Where is Padfoot!

12:30 AM

Can't smell, can't smell, can't smell!

Where's my Padfoot, where?

1:00 AM

The werewolf sniffed the air, hopefully.

No scent ... no scent anywhere ...

1:30 AM

The wolf frantically scratched on the wall.

Night air ... cold ... dark ... have to get out!

Find Padfoot, find Padfoot, find Padfoot!

2:00 AM

Open air ... get out! Must get out! Must find Padfoot ...!

2:30 AM

Alone ... alone ... no one here ... Moony alone ... alone again ...

3:00 AM

The chain rattled violently as the wolf bit and scratched at itself.

Padfoot is a liar! Liar, liar, liar!

3:30 AM

The wolf lay on the floor, bloody, weary, defeated ...

Padfoot is gone ... Moony's alone ...

Summer; 1994

Lie low at Lupin's, I will contact you there.

It had been so easy for Dumbledore to say it, no one else could have noticed the meaning behind his words,

Lie low at Lupin's, I know you have matters to clear up with him, I will contact you there ...

Remus Lupin was sitting on his couch, now very old and tattered and patched, reading Hairy Snout, Human Heart by an anonymous author.

There came a knock at his door and he put the book down, dismayed.

'No ... no ... not like this! Why's the Ministry checking up on me today!'

It was true. Once every ... random amount of years, the Ministry would send a member of the Werewolf Registry and Werewolf Capture Unit to check up on Remus.

It had been Umbridge last time; Remus prayed it wasn't her this time.

After flicking his wand a few times, in a feeble attempt to clean some dust up, straighten the cushions, and hide the mess in his bedroom, he walked to the door.

But when he opened the door, he found himself half-wishing he hadn't, half-wishing he could throw his arms around the person that stood leaning against the doorframe, grinning and holding a chain that led to a hippogriff.

"Hey," said Sirius, casually, as if he'd only gone for a ride in his motorcycle and forgotten his keys, like he always used to ...

Remus stared at him stupidly for a full five seconds with his mouth slightly open.

Finally he blinked and managed to choke out, "Sirius? What-? Why-? Is that ... Buckbeak!"

Sirius' grin grew wider, "The one and only."

Remus' eyes widened, "You ... well ... that makes sense but ..."

Sirius just kept looking at him and Remus looked away, "You shouldn't stay outside for too long ... come, come in."

Sirius jerked his head towards Buckbeak, "What about him? Basement?"

Remus nodded, "Yes, but only-"

"Only if you don't need it," finished Sirius.

Remus nodded, "Right."

He held the door open for Sirius and Buckbeak. Then he spent a full five minutes locking the door back up. He pressed his forehead against the door and sighed.

Finally, he turned around to find Sirius staring at him. Buckbeak was probably already in the basement.

"So ... how, how are you, Sirius?"

Sirius still just stared at him, "I'm good. You?"

"I'm good too ... would you like-?"

"This house hasn't changed," interrupted Sirius.

"Tea? Of coffee? I expect you're hungry-"

Remus was cut off again by Sirius, "Why? You still have my old things, don't you, Remus? Remus?"

Remus continued, determined to change the subject, "-and would you like a bath? Second door to your left."

Remus turned around and walked into the kitchen. He suddenly felt Sirius' arms around his waist. Remus tensed. Sirius had always, always done this, sneak up on him and hug him from behind ... and whisper into his ear ...

"I know where the bathroom is ... I lived here for four years ..." Sirius whispered into Remus' ear, his hot breath on Remus' neck.

Remus shivered, like he'd always done right before giving in to Sirius and resting his head on Sirius' shoulder, and letting Sirius kiss his neck ... maybe even bite it a bit and lick ...

He could just close his eyes and be twenty-two again ...

'No!'

Remus came to his senses and pulled away from Sirius, who just stared at him, like a puppy deprived of its bone.

"Si-Sirius ... we can't ... we ... we're not twenty-two ... anymore ... it's ... complicated ..."

Remus put his hand on the counter to steady himself, "I'm sorry ... I ..."

But Sirius was already walking away, "I'll be taking a quick bath ..."

It was only when he heard the bathroom door close that he sighed with relief and put his face in his hands.

He was angry. Angry for being so stupid. Angry for hurting Sirius ... angry for not letting himself give in.

'Damn it all!'

A ridiculous thought came to him suddenly, 'Sirius will need a towel ...'

Sirius leaned against the tub and stared at the water. His wiped away the excess shampoo from his hair and threw it onto the water.

'Remus hates me ... well, I guess I shouldn't have expected for him to throw his arms around me and start shagging ... '

Sirius sighed again, 'Damn it! I should've ... rather, I shouldn't have just approached him ... so casually ... we're ... we've been apart for so long ... I just couldn't resist-'

Sirius' thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. Remus came in with a towel.

"Just thought you might-"

Sirius' eyes locked on Remus, who suddenly blushed, "Oh Merlin ... I didn't knock, did I! I'm so sorry ..."

He turned to leave but Sirius spoke up, "It's nothing you haven't seen."

Remus sighed, wearily, "You're ... so thin ..."

"So are you, but in my case I have an excuse. You see having one meal a day that consists of a leaf of bread and a jug of water ... yeah, that'll do that to you."

Remus smiled when he saw Sirius grinning. He walked closer and dropped to his knees, near the tub. Sirius started scrubbing his hair furiously, as Remus looked on.

After a few minutes of scrubbing and pulling a few dark hairs out, which fell sadly to the water, Remus laughed a bit. Sirius looked up, mouth open. Remus had laughed ... not his new 'mature-person' laugh, but his old 'school-boy, young-person-in-love-with-Sirius' laugh. It was more of a gigglethan an actual laugh.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "If you must stay and watch me battle with the tangles in my hair, you might as well hand me a pair of scissors!"

Remus smilesd and retrieved them, "Here."

Sirius hacked at his hair, leaving it hopelessly uneven. Remus couldn't stand to watch it.

"Stop! Or you'll be bald before long. I'll do it."

Sirius handed him the scissors grudgingly, "Yeah well ... it doesn't matter."

Sirius sat in the bathtub, staring at the water, and at his skin getting wrinkled.

"Are you DONE yet!"

"Yes I am, in fact," Remus stood up. "Go on, take a look."

Remus motioned to the mirror over the sink. Sirius stood up, having completely forgotten he was naked, and got out of the tub.

The first thing he said was, "Oh my god! I look like ... like ... when I was at school! It's ... strange ... "

Remus shrugged and handed him the towel, "I liked you then."

Sirius faced him and took the towel wrapping it around his waist, "And now ... you don't?"

Remus bit his lip and turned around, "Dinner's almost ready."

Sirius laughed, the kind of laugh Remus missed, his 'dog-like-bark' of a laugh, "I hope not! If you're still as bad at cooking as you are at brewing potions, I'm not eating!"

Remus shook his head and walked out, leaving Sirius to dry himself and/or finish his business in the bathroom.

Once he had, he came out, long, black hair dripping wet, but clean shaven and looking miraculously younger. Perhaps it was because he was smiling, and his wild hair was neatly combed (as neat as Sirius liked, anyway) and shiny, like it always used to be.

Remus couldn't help but stare at him, a trace of what had once been young beauty, not quite there, but not quite gone.

"Um ... about my clothes-?"

"You know where they are," replied Remus, looking away.

He didn't understand why he couldn't face Sirius when they spoke of what had been ... and what could come to be. Maybe, he reasoned, it was fear. He was afraid of succumbing to the look in Sirius' cool gray eyes ... afraid of letting go of all his pain and guilt and breaking down and losing control. Afraid of giving in to what his body and heart yearned for.

After all, Sirius was the only one who made him feel this way ...

A few minutes later, Sirius joined him at the table for dinner. He was wearing black trousers and a gray sweater with 'Padfoot' on the back. Remus had given it to him for a birthday, he'd forgotten which one. Since Remus had so much experience with sewing, he'd stitched 'Padfoot' in black letters on the back with magic.

Remus' breath caught in his throat, "Sirius ... what are you wearing!"

Sirius looked at him blankly, "Clothes ..."

Remus just sighed and handed him a bowl of soup.

Sirius sniffed it, "Smells like those canned soups ..." After tasting it, he nodded, "Yup, I knew it."

Remus just smiled.

There was a few minutes of silence after that, until Sirius spoke up, "I saw your watch."

Remus tensed, "Oh?"

"Yeah, it was all dusty and stuff, but it still works. I put it on the night-table."

Remus frowned, "I ... didn't want anything to remind me of you after ... and then I forgot about it ... I'm-"

"Don't apologize."

After more silence, it was Remus who spoke, "Why? Why didn't you-?"

"Tell you?" finished Sirius. He put his spoon down and looked Remus. "After Dumbledore told us there was a spy ... I suspected you."

Remus just frowned again, "Why Sirius?"

"Because of ... something stupid really. Something that never mattered before," Sirius said, glumly, while putting his face in his hands.

Comprehension dawned on Remus' face, "Because of what I was? Am? Because I'm a werewolf?"

Sirius nodded, face still buried in his hands. Remus felt a stab of pity.

More silence, then Sirius looked up, "And you? Why'd you suspect me?"

Remus looked away, "What's interesting is that no one suspected Peter."

"That's not going to work, Remus," said Sirius, tilting his chair back on two legs and grinning haughtily.

"And he was the spy all alone. It just shows-"

"Why, Remus? It can't be that bad," Sirius interrupted.

Remus sighed, "Because of something that never mattered before, I guess."

Sirius frowned and let his chair fall back onto all four legs, "Huh?"

"I thought that ... after Regulus ... you'd-"

"WHAT! By Godric ... no! You thought because I was a Black-!" Sirius looked furious.

Remus just stared calmly at him, "You went out all the time, never telling me where you went. I tried asking James, he said he hadn't seen you either.

Sirius calmed down a bit, "That was a lie. I was there all along. And ... that letter you got ... with the silver and the howl ..."

Remus nodded, "But as you put it so well in the Shrieking Shack, I would have died rather than betray my friends ..."

Sirius put his face in his hands again, "It's all my fault, you know."

Remus reached across the table as if to take Sirius' hand, but thought better and pulled it back. Sirius, though, noticed, and took Remus' hand in both his own.

Remus tried to tug his hand away, but Sirius held fast, "Remus ... why do you try to pretend you don't-"

"Because I don't. Because-" Remus started firmly, but was cut off.

"Why can't everything be like it was! We can try-"

"That's the problem! Everything isn't like it used to be! We're not seventeen Sirius! We're not in Hogwarts and James and Peter aren't here anymore! Everything is NOT fine, just because we say! And we can't do anything we want, because everything is not possible!"

"Never say nev-" started Sirius.

"Don't you dare finish that! Sirius ... that day ... you could have said something! You suddenly knocked on the door, told me to stay here until I heard from you, the next thing I know ... I pick up the Prophet and you've been arrested, James and Peter are dead, and I was the only one alive! I felt so ... I felt that I should've died too!"

Sirius sighed and stood up, finally letting go of Remus. He walked over, but Remus stood as well and backed away.

"I felt that, if I wasn't there to have prevented it all, I should've died or gone to Azkaban as well. You were as good as dead to me, Sirius. Then you change my life again ... you're now innocent and ... "

Remus was backed against the sink, "I'm afraid that you'll change my life abruptly if I ... give in ... I don't want to, not again!"

And Remus let go, like he did so rarely, and cried. Tears cascaded down his cheeks and onto Sirius' shirt, that was now pressed against Remus' cheek.

Remus held onto Sirius tightly, as if afraid that he would disappear if Remus was to let go. Sirius held him and breathed in that familiar scent, half-Remus/half-Moony, that he'd missed so much.

He tilted Remus' head up and kissed him. Remus was reluctant at first and tried to pull back, but finally gave in to the feeling coursing through his body, the warm, happy feeling that he'd missed so much.

They pressed lips almost harshly, bumped teeth awkwardly, but finally found the rhythm they'd had so long ago ... they tongues licked at each other hungrily, as if it was their last kiss.

Finally they broke apart for air. Remus looked at Sirius, his lips swollen and parted.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and pulled him closer so they were right up against each other. He kissed Remus cheek and moved down to his neck. He nibbled Remus' ear gently and whispered, "Love you, Moony ..."

Remus had his hands around Sirius' neck, he pulled his closer still and whispered back, "Love you too, Padfoot ..."

"I wish I could stay like this with you forever ..."

Remus suddenly pulled away, "The full moon has very rotten timing ..."

Sirius pouted, "No! Aw man ... so Buckbeak's gotta be let in the house?"

Remus grinned, "As long as he keeps off the bed ..."

"Oh yes, that's totally just ours," said Sirius with a wink.

Who are you! Get out! GET OUT! Night ... air ... must get out ... must ... bite! Kill!

Padfoot frowned, You don't recognize me?

Moony turned back at him and growled, Get out! NOW! This is MINE! I want you OUT! OUT!

Padfoot just ran over to him and pinned him down, You remember me, Moony?

Moony froze, What did you call me?

Moony. It's Padfoot. I'm back.

Moony shoved him off and retreated, Get away! Moony hates you, Padfoot! Padfoot left Moony! So many moons alone! MOONY HATES YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT OR MOONY WILL TEAR PADFOOT TO PIECES!

Padfoot just walked over and lied down next to him, Moony ... I promise I won't leave you ... ever! Never, ever again! I swear!

Moony stared at him, great honey eyes narrowed, Swear?

On my canine honor!

Moony frowned, Moony doesn't understand ...

Padfoot laughed, Um ... I swear on ... my tail.

Moony considered him for a second, Padfoot swears on his tail!

Padfoot nodded.

Padfoot can lie next to Moony, said Moony simply.

Padfoot smiled and did so ... just lied there, sleeping with the great gray wolf next to him ...

The rising of the sun was one of Sirius' favorite parts of he Full Moon night. He sat up and watched as the first few rays shone through the cracks under and around the basement's door.

The wolf's legs lengthened into human legs and arms, the paws into hands and the claws shrank back to nails. The snout of the wolf shrank back into a face and the fur disappeared, leaving only Remus' light-brown hair more speckled with gray and the lines under his eyes more pronounced than Sirius remembered.

He bounded forward, still as the dog and licked Remus' face. Remus opened his eyes feebly and smiled up at the dog. He raised a skinny arm and scratched behind the dog's ears.

Remus raised himself up on one elbow and wrapped pulled the dog closer, feeling the softness of the fur against his cheek.

Then the fur was gone and Remus was left with Sirius, pressing his cheek against Remus. Remus felt himself being pulled up and off the ground, and he was being carried away from the dusty grimy floor of his basement. He hugged Sirius closer and closed his eyes, succumbing to sleep.

The first thing Sirius noticed, upon entering his and Remus' old bedroom, was that nothing had really changed much. There were still pictures of the two of them scattered around the room, most turned away or turned down.

Sirius placed Remus in their bed which still didn't squeak, and pulled the covers up to Remus' arms. He walked over to 'their' bedside table. There was the picture of the time they had tried ice skating on the lake in front of Hogwarts.

Sirius laughed. He'd managed to teach Remus just how to actually do it, when he'd tried showing off and fallen through thin ice near the center.

"I'm going to let you go, okay Remmy?"

Remus looked up, eyes wide and fearful, "And if I fall!"

Sirius let go laughingly and skated around Remus, who seemed frozen to the spot.

"It's easy! Just do as I taught you!" yelled Sirius over his shoulder, skating away, his scarf trailing behind him. Remus skated forward, cautiously, past James who had a camera and was ready to take Lily's picture whenever she came by.

Sirius attempted a spin and landed on his behind. He laughed as James took his picture and Remus skated towards him. Then he'd fallen through the ice and almost drowned, had it not been for the giant squid and Remus, for all James had done was take pictures and snort with laughter.

Sirius sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the 'silver' watch he'd given Remus for the last Christmas they'd been happy. Instead of numbers, there were moon phases; full moon for the 12, new moon for the 6. In the center was the star Sirius and at the ends of the hour and minute hands, there was a black dog and a gray wolf.

'I really wish I could ... go back to that time ... when everything was ... different ...'

Beside him, Remus stirred and sat up, "Sirius?"

Sirius turned around and smiled, "Remus ... hungry?"

Remus nodded and pulled the covers higher, "Can you ... well, I'm not wearing anything-"

Sirius just stared at him, "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Remus' cheeks were tinged with pink at Sirius' words. He took a deep breath and spoke again, "Sirius, about last night-"

Sirius leaned against the headboard, "Here it comes ..."

"The moon was really addling my brains-"

"The Nile," said Sirius yawning.

"I really didn't know what I was saying," continued Remus.

"-is a river in Egypt," finished Sirius, smiling at Remus.

"And I ... don't think what I did ... was what-"

Sirius pounced on him, suddenly, pinning him down against the pillows, lips pressing hungrily against Remus'. Remus' eyes widened, but he wrapped his arms around Sirius, deepening the kiss. Sirius pulled the covers down, reached for Remus-

"Ahem," came a voice from the doorway.

Sirius and Remus broke apart, instantly, their eyes wide.

Remus paled, "Oh ... god ... Professor Dumbledore!"

Sirius just grinned, "How's it hangin'?"

Dumbledore smiled a bit, his eyes twinkling madly, "I shall pretend I have not seen any of this, and will be outside making a cup of tea. Would you like some?"

Sirius nodded, seeing as how Remus was petrified.

Dumbledore started walking away, but turned, "Incidentally ... Remus, you might want to ... hitch the covers up just a bit."

Remus came to his senses and pulled the covers up red-faced. Sirius stood up and stretched, "We'll be out in a sec, Proff. We've got a bit of ... er, unfinished business."

Dumbledore just smiled mysteriously, "I know that well enough. And, Sirius ... enjoy the happiness while it lasts. I daresay you won't be pleased with what I'm having you do."

With that, Dumbledore walked out. Sirius looked at Remus, eyebrow raised.

Their thoughts were one, 'What's Dumbledore having us do, now?'

A/N: Yeah, what IS Dumbledore having them do now? DUN DUN DUN! Tune in next update to: Under the Full Moony!

Throws Moony X Padfoot plushies at reviewers: Step right up and grab your plushies!

But Siriusly, review please!