Under the Full Moony
Scroll 21: Number 12 Grimmauld Place
"Over my DEAD body!" yelled Sirius, standing up quickly and knocking his chair over.
Remus frowned up and Sirius, "Honestly, Padfoot-"
"ARE YOU INSANE! I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THAT HELL-HOLE!" Sirius shook with anger and glared at Dumbledore who merely smiled at him.
"It's the only place we have to set up head-quarters," Dumbledore replied calmly.
"WELL, well ... what about here?" said Sirius, ignoring Remus' glare/
"The ministry, I believe, has this residence registered in the Werewolf Registry, am I right Remus?"
Remus nodded, "Sirius, stop acting like a child and sit down."
Sirius grabbed his upturned chair, righted it, and sat down sulkily. He tried to avoid looking at Dumbledore.
'Filthy, wrinkled old- I'd like to see HIM live there! There's plenty of other places, why there!'
Remus put his hand on Sirius, "Do it for the Order."
Sirius pulled his hand abruptly and titled his chair back on two legs, "Damn the Order to hell! In fact, I quit!"
"You can't quit," said Dumbledore, still smiling.
Remus, however, was outraged, "Sirius Orion Black! How can you talk about the Order of the Phoenix as if it were ... some CLUB! And who do you think is keeping your sorry arse out of Azkaban? Kingsley Shacklebolt, Kingsley Shacklebolt's son!"
Sirius frowned, "Kingsley named his son Kingsley?"
"But that's beside the point! The point is, Dumbledore's helping mislead the Ministry and he could very well stop!"
Dumbledore kept smiling, "I really wouldn't, but I don't think Sirius would want to quit. You'd betray Lily and James' memory, and disappoint Harry greatly."
Sirius bit his lip and thought a while.
"And Remus would have to go on the jobs alone-"
"ALRIGHT! I'll do it, dammit! But you-!" Sirius turned on Remus who looked amused. "-you're coming to help me make Number 12 Grimmauld Place suitable for human life!"
"If you insist," said Remus sarcastically.
"Well, then, gentlemen, I will get cracking on the Unplottable Spells and Disillusionment Charms. I well see you there.." With a nod and a wink, Dumbledore was gone.
Sirius grumbled, "I ran away from that old place, and now I'm forced to go back, that's all crap!"
Remus reached out for Sirius, but stopped half-way, "I ... I'm sorry I said all those things to you-"
Sirius sighed and stood up. He took Remus' hand and pulled him out of the chair, pressing him onto his own chest, "Moony ... Moony ... I hate that place ... it'll bring back bad memories ... and the place is a total freak show! Wait until you see it!"
Remus buried his face in Sirius' sweater, "We'd better get going."
Sirius nodded and held tighter to Remus, "Yeah ..."
Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, "We wouldn't want to be late ..."
"Oh no, of course not," mumbled Sirius.
They stayed for a long time like that, in a tight embrace, forgetting the world around them.
Let's dance in style,
Let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait
We're only watching the skies
"Sirius?" whispered Remus.
"Yeah?"
"I can't help being afraid ..."
Hoping for the best
But expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
"Of what?"
"Of ... this ..."
'Of falling in love again ... and having my world crumble.'
Sirius sighed, "You keep saying that, but you never say exactly what you're afraid of."
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power
But we never say never
"If ... If something should happen to you, if you should leave me," began Remus choosing his words carefully.
"Don't even think of that, Remus! We're barely building things up again and you're already tearing it down ... "
Sitting in a sandpit,
Life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men
Remus bit his lip, "There is a war going on, there's always the chance that I ... or you ... will get killed ..."
Sirius frowned, "Hey, you can't get rid of Sirius Black that easily, no siree!"
Remus laughed, "Mighty Sirius Black is back, then?"
" 'Back in Black!' is my new motto!" Sirius laughed, then looked down at Remus concerned.
"Do you really expect me to leave you again?" he asked softly.
"I have come to expect the worst from life."
Sirius gasped, but did not pull away, "When have you had to expect the worse from me!"
"I guess ... never ..."
Sirius pulled away and grabbed Remus' hand, "Well, let's not get old standing around here! We have a house to detoxify!"
Remus smiled, "You seem enthusiastic."
"As long as you're by my side ... anything's fun, Remus," said Sirius, pulling the other to the door.
Remus' heart beat wildly in his chest, 'Sod it all ... I feel twenty-two already.'
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don't they stay young ..
"Cheerful place you grew up in ..." said Remus looking around at the elf heads on the walls, along with the dingy dust covered floors.
Sirius nodded, "Isn't it?" He walked past the grisly display in the hall and motioned for Remus to wait there.
Remus sighed and looked around again. Black moth-eaten curtains caught his eye. He walked over frowning and pulled them open.
He knew it was a mistake in an instant. The life-sized portrait of a woman with long black hair, that had been sleeping, started screaming.
"WHO DARES- WHO GOES THERE- BEGONE FROM MY HOUSE, YOU-"
Sirius came running back to the hall, growling, "DAMN YOU, HAG! I so wished I'd never hear your stupid voice again!"
Remus backed away as Sirius grabbed the frame and started pulling at it. The woman just laughed, a cold high laugh that was very familiar somehow ...
"YOU!" was her greeting to Sirius. "YOU ABOMINATION! SHAME OF MY FLESH! HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT, THAT-"
"THAT is MY lover, Remus Lupin, if you must know, you b-"
The woman gasped in horror and glared at Remus, "YOU! BEGONE FROM MY HOUSE YOU CREATURE! YOU WEREWOLF! HALF-BREED! HOMOSEXUAL-"
"ARGH! SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP, WITCH!" Sirius wrenched at the frame violently but it stayed put.
Remus sighed, "It's got a permanent sticking charm you know."
Sirius pulled at his hair, "DAMMIT ALL!"
He yanked at the curtains, trying to pull them shut. Remus rushed over to help and together they managed to close them. There was silence once more.
Sirius slumped to the floor, "So it begins ..."
Remus kneeled in front of him, "So, who was that?"
Sirius looked up, "Oh right, I forgot to introduce you, Remus this is my dear, sweet, understanding, kind, and caring ... mum."
Remus' mouth dropped open, "THAT ... I mean ... she's your mum?"
Sirius let out a bark of laughter, "Unbelievable isn't it. I coulda set her on fire if I had a wand."
"Speaking of which, what are you going to do without one? You can't just walk into Ollivanders and ask for a wand ... nor can I ..."
Sirius rolled his eyes and stood up, "My family keeps the deceased's wands and bodies. You know that I buried Regulus in the crypt under this very house."
"I remember you didn't let me in ..."
"Right, well, I had my reasons, didn't I?" Sirius shrugged. "Let's go up to the upper floor, see if I can find my dad's wand."
Remus was about to say something, thought better of it, and just followed him, hand in hand with Sirius, who seemed to think that the house would attack Remus otherwise.
"Right, Moony. We're going into my parent's old room. If something comes at us, duck!"
"You forget, I'm the one with the wand," said Remus.
"You forget I'm a Black," Sirius shot back and threw the door open.
Nothing came hurtling out at them, or screamed at them, or even move. The large bed stayed put, dusty and all.
Sirius walked quickly to the bedside table and rummaged through it. He brought out a long silver box and looked at Remus, "This is why I can't you wander off anywhere."
Remus sighed and sat on the dusty bed, "I'm not two years old ..."
Sirius frowned, "I'm trying to be your knight in shing Black armor, humor me?"
Remus laughed, "Alright, you we're right. How could I have ever thought I'd get along in the world without you?"
Sirius smiled and opened the bow. He lifted a black wand and pointed it at Remus, who flinched.
Nothing happened.
Sirius pouted angrily, "What the hell! Why's it not working! What am I going to do now, Moony!"
Remus stood up, "Well ... there is ... one other person ... who might be a better match than your father ..."
Sirius wrinkled his nose, "I DOUBT my mum's wand-"
"Not your mum ..."
Remus looked out the door, to the door across the hall ...
Sirius swallowed hard, "No. I'd rather not have a wand, I mean, you can go get another wand that matches you, it'll work fine!"
"Sirius ... if you want, I'll get it-"
"No! We'll go together ... this house is pure evil, Moony."
Sirius motioned Remus to follow him to the room across from his parent's room. He threw open the door quickly and walked in, grumbling.
Remus looked around. In the whole house, this room seemed to be the only one that had pictures of Sirius. He looked at a picture in a silver frame of unmistakably Sirius, about nine years old, and a smaller boy who looked almost exactly like him, around seven years old, laughing and sticking their tongues out.
There was a large family portrait that took up the whole wall. Thankfully, it was silent. The same woman from the portrait below was sitting on a silver and green chair, looking haughty and holding a small boy's hand. Behind her, stood a tall man with stormy-blue eyes and long, black hair. He had a hand on Sirius' shoulder. The two boys were sticking their tongued at each other in turn.
There were three girls off to the side, all long-haired, but two were dark-eyed and dark-haired, and one was pale-eyed and pale-haired.
Remus turned to Sirius, who had a wand in his hand, "This is Regulus' room right? The small boy ... that's him?"
Sirius nodded and looked at the ground. He said in a rather hoarse voice, "So are we ... going to ... get out of here?"
"Does the wand work?"
Sirius looked at it a moment, "Dunno ... "
"Try it then, Padfoot. Go on."
Sirius pointed it at Remus, who was bombarded by little chocolate bars.
Remus laughed, "It works then."
"Yeah, let's go Moony."
Remus walked out and Sirius closed the door, muttering ,"Colloportus
"You locked it?" asked Remus, concerned.
"Yep. Hey, wanna see my old room?"
Remus shrugged, "Sure. Are you actually going to sleep in it?"
"I might as well. Plus, the only guest room on this side is next to my room ... and I want easy access to your room."
Remus frowned, "What's all this talk of my room, your room? Why can't we just share-"
"Molly Weasley's coming. With her lot of kids. You can at least pretend you're sleeping there, right?"
Remus grinned and looked at the watch Sirius had given him. He'd taken to wearing it everywhere, usually hidden, but still there, "Got ya."
"It's going to be hard, you know, with her here. We're going to have to use 'Muffliato' a lot," said Sirius as he waved his wand over the room, lighting the candles and fixing the currently broken bed.
"And we'll have to make sure your mum doesn't shout out what abominations we are for being together," Remus said with a small laugh and pointed his wand at the dust, which disappeared.
"I can see it now, 'Shame of my flesh, snogging other men in my house, and a werewolf no less! Treacherous, poofy, bastard! Sodomy! And blood traitor!' " Sirius said with a very good imitation of his mother, while lighting the lamps around the room.
Remus just laughed, that 'giggle-type' laugh that Sirius liked so much and managed to change the sheets with a flick of his wand.
It was hard work, hiding it from Mrs. Weasley. She caught them, once, snogging in the attic, which they were clearing out for Buckbeak. 'Slow Hand' by the Pointer Sisters was on Remus' old record player and Sirius and Remus were sitting on the floor, snogging like rabid teenagers.
Mrs. Weasley had cleared her throat various times before Sirius had released Remus, very reluctantly so. She, apparently, disliked Sirius, enough to even ignore the fact that he was sleeping with Remus.
"Why don't you find yourself a nice girl?" she'd ask, even though Sirius was sitting right next to Remus. Sirius, seeing as how the nine Weasleys and occasionally Moody, or Kingsley, or Mundungus were in the room, could only grit his teeth as Remus smiled at Mrs. Weasley and shrugged and Moody sniggered, but thankfully said nothing.
Then there was Snape. Obnoxious, oily-haired, Snape who hadn't changed a bit, in Sirius' opinion, since their school years.
"How's your dog doing, Lupin?" he'd ask.
Or sometimes, it would be, "Pity, you were on the wrong side. We could have, ah, become so much more ..."
It wasn't only that Sirius hated Snape for ever daring to have a crush on HIS Moony, it was the fact that Regulus had turned his back on Sirius, partially, because of Snape. He'd gone and joined the Death Eaters and gotten himself killed for believing that Snape could ever love him.
Maybe Snape knew that, and wanted to get his revenge on Sirius that way, of maybe he didn't ... and had just made a mistake.
In any case, their secret was getting harder to keep, and the two lovers made the most of the rare occasions they found themselves alone.
Alone. Remus hadn't realized it, but ... he now really was alone. Sirius had ... left him again ...
Moony knew that ... and didn't like it. And it took three years for Remus to figure out what it was that left him feeling so empty and betrayed after the full moon.
Night ... night air ... must get out ... Padfoot ... hate Padfoot ... liar ... he left moony again ...
The wolf hacked at the manacles binding him.
Padfoot ... left! Moony knows... Padfoot ...
The great, gray wolf lunged at the wall, but only succeeded in hurting his snout. Nonetheless, he did not surrender.
PADFOOT! MOONY KNOWS! PADFOOT LIED! Moony knows ...
The wolf began to pace, as it had done for three years worth of full moons.
Moony knows, Moony knows, Moony knows ... Moony can sense it ...
The wolf let out a long mournful howl, and waited, listening carefully for the dog's howl that would usually follow. He heard only silence.
Why ... why ... ANSWER! Moony knows, Moony knows ...
The sun was rising. The great wolf lied down, weary and defeated.
Moony knows ... Moony smells ...Padfoot ... is out there ...
The sun rose high into the sky and shone through the crack below the door to Remus' basement and onto his face.
He awoke with a start and sat up. There were only two words that came to his mind, "Sirius ... alive ..."
Remus Lupin had changed a lot during the three years after Sirius' death', even Harry knew that much. He had noticed Remus laughed less, even now that Voldemort had been defeated and everyone was considerably more cheerful. He noticed Remus stared at the fireplace when everyone else was having conversations and such, that he was quieter at mealtimes (in the rare occasion that he actually showed up at Mrs. Weasley's), and that even though he let Tonks hold his hand, he never looked her in the eye when he spoke to her and he'd find a way to slip out of her grasp unnoticed.
He was too poor, too old, too dangerous, he said. "Personally," Moody always said in his gruff manner. "-I'd have thought it be obvious to Tonks, Lupin's just not a good match for her. She's still in the puppy-love stage, pun intended, where holding hands is a big thing; Lupin's gone much farther than that. Oh yes, I should know! The number of times I walked in on him and-"Then he'd be cut off by Mrs. Weasley, who would shush him and nod pointedly at Tonks.
But Harry had a feeling he knew what Moody was talking about. He'd never really known the full extent of his godfather's relationship with Lupin ... and he had a feeling he wouldn't want to ...
And Lupin had gone through so much ... he'd lost so many people ... been through so much pain ... One could argue (as Mrs. Weasley so often did) that Tonks had lost Sirius. But, she hadn't really known Sirius for that long, a year at most ... one cannot compare a year with twenty-three years.
Lupin had proved to be a very surprising individual; most unpredictable ... When Snape's trial had been held, Lupin had argued in favor of Snape going free. Harry never really knew what had happened exactly while he was facing Voldemort. He knew there had been a very confusing fight ... something to do with Remus going after Bellatrix ... then Fenrir and Bellatrix dueling Remus at the same time ... then Snape helping Remus fight the both of them ... In the end, Snape had gone free and regained his post as Hogwarts Potions Master.
Now, three years later, Remus still mourned Sirius' death.
"They're holding Bellatrix's trial in a few weeks," was Lupin's greeting to them all, one afternoon in late August.
Moody frowned, "I still can't believe you argued in Snape's favor! It'd been straight to Azkaban if it had been up to me!"
Lupin looked away, "I have my reasons ..."
"I'd sure like to hear them!" prodded Moody.
"Oh, this and that ..."
"Well, I trust you won't help THIS one out!" asked Moody, in his prodding manner again.
Remus froze and when he spoke, it was in an icy tone, "Of course not. She killed Sirius."
Remus looked away, wondering if he should tell them about his dream.
"Technically, the veil killed him."
Remus looked at Harry, "What? What veil!"
"The veil ... in the center of the room ... when he fell through."
Remus heart beat faster, "Wait, Bellatrix killed him ... with Avada Kedavra ..."
"No! The light wasn't green ... I know it wasn't that. It was red, I think it was a Stunner."
Remus put a hand on the table to steady himself. He seemed in deep thought. No one made a sound.
'It wasn't ... wasn't a dream then ... Sirius is ... Sirius is ... what Moony sensed was ...'
Finally, Remus spoke, "That veil can't kill ... not if he was stunned ... that veil ... Sirius ... he's ..."
Tonks frowned, "But that was the Death Room-"
"Yes, yes it was ... but ... that veil is ... it lead to an antechamber ... it doesn't lead directly TO the next world ... it's a ... it's the space BETWEEN the two worlds! Don't you see!"
Remus looked at them wildly. When Tonks spoke, it was in a tight voice, "Remus ... Sirius is dead ... you shouldn't ... you should-"
"Move on, dear ... it isn't good for you to focus on someone that isn't coming back-" interjected Mrs. Weasley.
But Remus wasn't listening. He just looked at Moody, smiled, and left just as quickly as he'd arrived.
Tonks frowned at Moody, "What-?"
"You'll understand when you're ... older," was all Moody said.
He'd done it. He'd gone and tried it and failed. After sneaking in to the Department of Mysteries, which was easier than he'd though, after all that had happened at the Ministry and security was still not tighter ... and gone directly to the Death Chamber. He'd tried every spell he could think of, but the veil remained as ominous and Sirius-less as ever.
"I tried summoning Sirius, blasting the arch, setting it on fire, nothing worked!'
He'd come home alone, confused, and miserable, and was now sitting in the dark, with but one candle alight. He sat on what had been 'their' couch, for him and Sirius.
They had been planning to actually tell Harry that they were 'going-out' the very night Sirius had disappeared.
'Disappeared ... not dead ... not yet ...'
Remus thought of that night ...
"Moony?" Sirius sat in front of Remus, who was reading a book.
"Yes, Sirius?"
"Don't you think we might as well tell Harry ... about ... about us? I mean, we sent him a joint present and we haven't really been hiding anything from him. Yet, he still doesn't get it."
Remus laughed, "We don't snog in front of him for it to be THAT obvious!"
Sirius raised an eyebrow, "PLEASE, I caught you staring at me for about ten minutes, and I know for a fact Harry noticed as well!"
Remus put his book down and crossed his arms, "Well, you were the one flirting with me, when we were supposed to be reassuring Harry James wasn't a self-centered git!"
Sirius kissed Remus' cheek, "You look cute when you pretend to be angry. And James WAS a self-centered git!"
"Quite," said a new voice. " In any case, his son Potter has gone into the Forbidden Forest with Umbridge. He is still not back and I fear he's believed a vision he saw. 'He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden.' I believe were his exact words."
Sirius stood up abruptly and glared at the raven-shaped Patronus that had Snape's voice issuing from it, "No! Remus, alert the Order! We're going to the Ministry!"
Remus grabbed his arm, 'You stay here!"
The raven sniggered and Sirius frowned, "No Remus, this is my godson. I'm coming as well."
Remus sighed and looked at his watch, emitting a soft white glow.
'If only he'd listened ... if only ... damn it all ...'
The light from the flame reflected on the watch that Sirius had given him and cast a big spot of light on the wall opposite of him.
Realization hit Remus like a slap in the face.
He stood up quickly, "Reflection ... the light is brighter when it's reflected ... I have to go to him! He ... he MUST know!"
With that, he grabbed his coat and disapparated.
A/N: Whew! Long chappie! And SO fast-paced! What do y'all think? What now! Who's Remus going to for help!
I want a happy ending ... beyond Half-Blood Prince "plots mysteriously"
I'll totally have to make it up, but ... "cough" ANYWAY, BEFORE I GIVE AWAY THE ENDING "AHEM"
Review please!