The next few days went by in what seemed like a blink of Sakura' green eye. And before she knew it, three days had passed her by like a mere hour. Life was so happy with Kakashi. Living with him as if they had already wed, acting as if they were already husband and wife even if it had only been a short while ago which he had proposed. But it wasn't like she had been acting like it. In her eyes she felt that this was what married life would truly be like. She would wake up in his arms that had wrapped around her body sometime in the night as if it was a natural motion. Hearing his heart beat had been a regular thing to wake up to as she laid her tired head over his chest below his chin that comfortably rested on top of her head. The way he touch her, she had grown quite familiar with. As she had come to be well known to each scar on his body, and each feature of his hansom face.
Kakashi had even woken up earlier the morning before to cook her scrambled eggs and bacon. She had woken up to breakfast in bed in quite a startle.
"Morning."He had whispered. She felt her heart swell with such admiration. Never before had she been woken to breakfast in bed, and the concept was quite alien to a girl who would always be the one to make the breakfast for her father. But she was never to bring it to his room. He had forbided entrance to his room, she remembered that.
FLASHBACK
A much younger Sakura stood before the small stove of the apartment which she now shared only with her father. Since her mother had passed away in a mission the year before, she had been left in the care of her father. Even though she was deep saddened from the lost of her mother and best friend, she took some happiness known that she still had her father. But even if he was in the same apartment, she had failed to see much of him in over a year. Father had chosen to seclude himself in his bedroom for most of the time. She found it strange that he didn't even cry at mothers memorial service. Sakura did. A lot. And when she tried to take comfort in her father, he had pushed her away. Father had never been really affectionate towards his only daughter, but she would receive a gently hand on her shoulder once in awhile or a small smile from his lips. But ever since that day, she felt like he never really knew she was there. His eyes were always so cold and unfocused, so that even if he was addressing her, it was like he was looking right past her.
He short pink hair was tied up in pig tails on top of her head, and she wore a white t-shirt with the Konoha design on the breast with grey Capri's. The beautiful song bird that perched on the windowsill seemed to be singing her a song of his making, so it made her happy. She softly hummed along with the melody, a smile on her face.
"Almost finished father!" She cried out, before shutting off the heat of the stove and pouring the sunnyside up eggs onto a plate she had set beside the stove on the counter. She knew that father liked sunny side up eggs because mother would always make them for him and he would always smile. He didn't smile anymore. Even at ten she knew that his spirit had broken after mother died. She wondered if he'd ever be the same.
She turned out of the kitchen down the hall to where her fathers door was shut.
"Father i made you breakfast!" She smiled,no answer."It's sunnyside up eggs like you like, come on an eat them before they get cold."She replied through the door. Still no answer. Sakura raised an eyebrow in confusion. Maybe, he's still asleep? She decide to set the plate of food beside his bed for when he woke up.
She shifted the plate to one hand so that her other could quietly twist the knob as not to wake him. Gently pushing the door open, she found the room dark. Looking at the window she saw that big heavy curtains had been draped over them to prevent any sort of sunlight from entering.
"Father?" She whispered, so softly that she barely heard the call herself. Not surprised to hear no answer. She did however see the intense mess the room had become to fall under. She hadn't been inside this room since the memorial, and it looked as if father had failed to clean at all. This room brang back so many memories, she decide to set the plate and leave as soon as possible.
Her shaky foot raised to take a step...
"What are you doing here?"She snapped her gaze to beside her when the voice broke the eerie quietness that had once filled the room.. Gasping in surprise when she saw her father standing beside her, his body covered in darkness of the shadows. But even still, she managed to make out the regular kimono he wore always. Even when he was grieving, he was traditional. Mother hadn't been, she only wore a Kimono when out in public or when guest came over. Any other time she wore just normal shinobi clothing.
Swallowing she replied,"Morning father, I brang you some breakfast." She tried to be as cheerfully as she could, but the fact that his face was covered in a shadow frightened her somewhat.
"You shouldn't in here." His voice was dark, it sent chills down her spine. Why was he acting like this? It was scaring her.
"I just brang you-"She held out her plate of offering with a smile.
"GET OUT!" She gasped as his hand smacked the pate out of her hand and into her chest, covering her white t-shirt in yellow stains. She felt his strong hand push her weak body back, and she was roughly thrusted into the wall outside of the room. Seeing the room slam shut with a loud bang, that shook the house.
Her heart took awhile to being to beat again, her eyes wide in confusion and fear. She faintly heard the plate drop from her shirt and shatter as if hit the floor.
END FLASHBACK
"Kakashi, come eat! It's getting cold!" She ordered. She flipped the perfectly golden brown pancakes onto two separate plates and set them each of the small kitchen table.
"Hai, hai."Kakashi replied, making his way down the hall, Sakura couldn't hear his bare feet walking out the floor, but sensed his arrival. Looking up she saw his enter the kitchen/dining room/ living room, a towel draped over his damp silver hair as he rubbed circles in a attempt to fully dry the wet hair that currently was flat against his face. He was also shirtless, and wearing only a pair of grey boxers to cover his naked body. He had just gotten out of the shower a moment ago.
"Would you like some orange Juice or water?" Sakura asked, whipping her hands on her nice kiss the cook apron, even her hands hadn't gotten that dirty at all.
"Orange Juice please." He replied lazily, pulling the chair out of the table to take a seat in it. Actually it was more like slumping into the set due to that fact that it was anything but graceful or civilized.Sakura opened the refrigerator and began to rummage in search of the juice.
"It smells nice, but how does it taste?" Kakashi joked, glancing up at her to see her reaction but only saw her ass sticking out from behind the fridge door.
"Just eat it smartass!" She laughed, Kakashi smiled and once again looked back down at the food."That takes a lot of skill to get those pancakes perfect golden brown I hope you know." She shut the door after retrieving the carton. Kakashi chuckled and tossed that damp towel over the couch beside him before picking up his fork. Sticking the utensil into the top pancake , he carefully put it up to his nose to smell it.
Sakura set the glass of of orange juice in front of him.
"Thanks."He replied, taking a further smell and then a small nibble. Sakura felt a vein pop on her forehead.
"Stop acting like it's poison or something, damn it!" She spoke with great restraint and control over her frustration. Kakashi took a large bite and chewed the food.
"Mmmm, It's really good!" He smiled. Sakura smiled and untied her apron from the back and hung it up on the hangers beside the fridge, taking her seat across from him.
"Thanks. But don't you want syrup or something?"Sakura inquired after noticing that he eat the food plain. Kakashi's glanced up from his meal, and calmly shook his head.
"Uh, no I don't like syrup.. too sweet for me."He replied and took another bite. Sakura reached for the syrup bottle in front of her.
"Then why do you have this in your fridge if you don't like it?" She asked. Kakashi shrugged.
"I guess It was there just in case you needed it when you were here." He smiled. Sakura smiled back and poured the thick liquid over her meal."Oh, I have to go for a short over-nighter mission tonight, so I'll be leaving around noon-ish or so. But I'll be back in the morning, so don't get too upset." He spoke up.
"Oh, Okay." In her mind, she really didn't want him to go quite yet. They after all, just got time to truly be with each other after so long of hiding from everyone else. In truth, she wanted to remain this close with him. But she knew the shinobi life as he did. When a mission came up, that would be your top priority. She took a bite of her pancake, to break her thoughts away from where they had strayed."Hey this is pretty good! If I do say so myself!" She smiled, but thankfully kept her mouth shut partly.
"Oh, one last thing Sakura." Kakashi quickly remembered before he had managed to get all the way down the steps of the front staircase. Turning back to face her where she stood in the doorway of their new home that they shared together.
"Yea, what?"She raised her eyebrows, as she watched him once again walk the steps back up to the top to where she stood. He stopped just a few inches away from her body.
"I think that's it's a wise idea that you remain here while I'm gone." He replied in all seriousness. Sakura frowned slightly.
"Why?" She asked. His hand came to rest on her arm.
"Well, with your father and all, I just don't-"
"Okay, if you think it's best." Sakura replied, reaching up to place a hand over his. He smiled, underneath his mask that is.
"Good girl. Love you."He leaned forward past what little space was between them to start with to place a gentle kiss goodbye on her lips. She savored the lip lock even if it was threw the mask, until the last second when his hand left her skin and he had disappeared. Sakura's eyes opened to tilt her head towards the blue sky.
Sakura nervously bit her bottom lip as her hands played with the hem of the large black t-shirt that she had borrowed from Kakashi's clothing drawer. She could feel her heart race inside her chest as she looked up at the house before her.
'What am I doing here?' She asked herself. 'Kakashi told me to stay in the apartment while he is away, and being here... at this house, is going totally against his best wishes for me. But I...' She paused. What reason did she have for truly being there? Sure she had no clothes of her own besides that dress, but Kakashi's clothes were fine and would certainly last her until tomorrow when he comes home, but... Maybe.Maybe the real reason why she was standing there, in the pitch black street before the one house where she wished to get away from. Was that she still had unfinished business with this place. With her father. With herself.
During the past couple of days, her fathers image had finally begun to fade from her conscious being. Sure she still had re-acuring dreams about the past, but other then that, Kakashi had taken over as the main thing she thought about. She was thankful to him, for that. The simple act of making her smile when her mind had begun to drift back to a tim have was fake and disgusting. But since she's been living with Kakashi, the smiles just come natural to her. She didn't have to fake or force the smile but she truly felt like doing it. It was a wonderful feeling. That in which she hadn't felt in a long time, besides the brief moments which she spent with her lover in secret.
Before she knew it, her feet had taken her to the front door of the house which she had called home for so very long. All her life in fact. But just being this close made her heart beat more rapid, if possible, to make sweat form on her forehead.
'Stop being so nervous Sakura,'She kept telling herself. 'Fathers always at his council meeting on friday, he won't be home for at least three hours.'And three hours would defiantly give her enough time she needs and get out without him even knowing she was there.
Inhaling a deep breathe she reached for the knob, locked. Pulling out the key from her pocket she unlocked the door and pushed it open to step inside the house. Shutting the door afterwards, she looked around. Everything was different. The apartment wasn't clean as dirty dishes and scrolls lay everywhere around the once very respectable dining room. She also noticed that the red silk curtains that hung from the wall had been ripped down and tossed over the floor. Sakura knew that he had done this when he was angry. And she knew what he was angry at.
Slipping her regular slipper over her bare feet, she moved deeper into the home.
The places that you've come to fear the most,
It's the place that you have come to feat the most
She made her first visit into the living room. Everything looked pretty much normal in there. Kneeling before a small cabinet beside the the far wall, she pulled out a small key that she kept in her pocket as well, and unlocked the top drawer. Inside was empty except for a single golden medal that was attached to a long red ribbon, folded neatly into the centre of the drawer
A thin smile appeared on her lips as her she slowly reached into the darkened area to lift the metal into the palm of her hand, as her other hand picked up the ribbon afterwards. Studying the item that was filled with so many memories, she tilted her head so that the ribbon could slip gracefully around her neck. Sakura then gently tucked the item underneath the t-shirt she wore.
Once again her feet had robotically brang her to the door step of the shut shut that belonged once to her parents but now only served to bring back harsher memories of what her father had become after her mother had passed away. She was nervous again, this time more than she's ever been. The orders of her father to never enter this room still seemed to run over and over in her mind, momentarily halting her movements. The green eyes she called her own narrowed as her hand came up to rest gently on the surface of the closed dorr that served as a gate from what she needed that lay behind it.
FLASHBACK
"Mommy, are you up yet?"
"Of course I am silly, come on in!"
END FLASHBACK
Sakura moved her hand to the knob and without allowing herself to waste time, turned it open.
Like a scared child about to do something that would give her a time out, Sakura opened the door only a crack, enough so that she was able to peek into the room. It was so dark, she couldn't see anything like this.
Moving the door open a little more her slender arm was able to slip threw the part to flick on the light switch on the wall next to her. Light gave her nerves some ease as she could now thoroughly see what the room held. She finally pushed the door fully open but remained in the door way, just so that her eyes could search the room for what she was looking for.
So many memories were in this room, so many great times she shared with her mother while she was living. And even some fun times with her father when mother would make him laugh when he was too serious. Her gaze fell over a far bedside table, maybe that's were she should look?
Slowly making her way into the room where she hadn't been in over eight years, she passed the messes of clothing and broken glass to stand over the table. A picture frame was lead face down on the surface. Sakura reached and picked in up, turning it over she found a picture of her family. Father... mother...herself. Sakura had found it, what she had been looking for. Slipping the photo from the broken glass she slipped it into her underwear beneath her pants.
Suddenly her head shot up in surprise. She felt someone... someone else was in the room. Sakura's eyes widened in fear as she forced herself to slowly turn around to face what was to come. Her heart immediately dropped into her stomach when she saw him.
His face was dark, as if had been that day. And she noticed his fists were clenched tightly at his sides, so much that she saw red blood drip from the wounds on the palms of his hands to the floor below. His shoulders were also shaking slightly as if he was struggling against his anger. Her hand came up to lips as she always did.
"F-father."She whispered, her voice low as if she was once again a child in front of him. He would had so much control over everything she did.
"You bitch."His voice was strained and also he spoke ina whispered. Sakura flinched at the harsh name which she should have grown used to being called, he certainly called her that enough. She wanted to move away, back away from his now piercing gaze, but her feet were frozen.
"I'm sorry, father... I'm sorry for...letting you down, making you ashamed. I know that I have tarnished the Haruno name with my actions but I do not apologize for making them." Sakura tried to remain strong and to make sure that he knew that she wasn't sorry for loving Kakashi or wanting to be with him.
"You dare to disobey me! I'll-" Sakura gasped as he had suddenly appeared in front of her and before she could even think, his hand had cracked over her jaw sending her falling to the floor by the wall. Her hand came up to touch the already swollen spot of her lip, and to gently whip the blood that had dripped from her mouth. She pushed herself up to her knees."I'm embarrassed to call you my daughter."Sakura shut her eyes, his words hurt.
She was now being dragged roughly to her her feet by her collar, his fists choking her with her own shirt. She struggled to gasp in air, as she stared wide eyed into her fathers mad gaze.
"YOU EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF THE VILLAGE, THE HOKAGE AND IN FRONT OF THE COUNCIL!"He screamed in her face so much that her eyes shut partly to keep them from drying out, as he roughly threw her thin body effortlessly to the fall behind him until she slide to a painful stop at the doorway.Sakura tried to once again push herself up to her knees but found it impossible as his foot appeared to her back and crushed her body down to the floor with all his might. She stifled a scream into a grunt of pain as she felt her back crack in several places, her eyes widening in fear.
"Father... that hurts." She struggled to whisper through clenched teeth of effort, her fists tightening over the hardwood floor beneath them.
"Oh, yeah.? That's good to hear!" He hissed and lifted his foot to stomp harder. This time a cry of pain escaped her mouth as she could no longer hold it in, immediatly stifling the cry of weakness into a much quieter whimper. Tears began to form at the corner of her eyes, and she squeezed them closed tightly.
'Why am I so weak?'Thoughts ran through her mind.'If I was really worthy of a jounin level I should have enough strength to stop him. To push his foot away and easily block his attacks, but even though I hurt and my arm feels like it's broken...' The though that father was doing something wrong never entered her mind. All that mattered was that he needed to see that she was strong enough to take anything from him.
Sakura felt his foot leave her back and she was grabbed by her shoulder and yanked to her feet, at which time she struggled against his death grip that pierce her skin, frantically grabbing at his hands that dug into her shoulders to try to pry them off of her. She couldn't take it anymore. The pain hurt more then anything.
"Please let me go." She pleaded, but he just snorted and smacked her face again when he turned her to face him. Sakura's head tossed to the side as blood dripped from her lips, but that seemed like nothing next to the punch in the gut that she received next. Sakura's eyes went blank for a moment, until she was thrown against the far wall in the hallway. Her back hit the hard surface and with a gasp she sat to the floor when her legs gave out from underneath her. Hanging her head, she felt the pounding headache send painful throbbing waves through out her head and into the sockets of her eyes.
Struggling to her feet, she tried to force her legs to allow her to run, even if they only gave her a limped jog, she was grateful to move. The tears she cried stung her eyes, and blurred her vision a little so that the hallway looked like it was under water. The fogginess in her left eye cause by her fathers fist made her vision worse.
"How pathetic... you are a worthless waste of a shinobi! You're weak, and for you disobedience, you must learn to deal with the consequences of your actions!"She couldn't pin point his voice, but she didn't care. All she wanted to do was to leave this house. Coming here was stupid of her, she should have just listened to Kakashi. Her head hurt so much.
Suddenly another punch hit the side of her head and she staggered to the left but still managed to remain on her feet. Inhaling deep breathes that stung her broken rib cage but gave her the much needed air to her lungs.
"Stop it please... I.. I'm injured..."She whispered,even thougnshe knew he didn't care. Why would he if he had been the one to inflick them onto her?
"...This is your fault Sakura." His voice was suddenly softer. It scared her more then his angry tone somehow. Slowly turning her head to glance over to where he stood, she felt her body sway slightly on shaky feet and aching limps."Why couldn't have you just listened to me?... If you had, then this could have been avoided. But instead... you have chosen to go against me and continue seeing that bastard! AND NOW I AM TO SUDDENLY ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND THAT MINE HAVE NO EFFECT!" His voice was screaming once again.
Sakura's head titled down so that her gaze fell onto the floor. She mumbled something only she could hear.
"What did you say!"
"... I said." Sakura's head lifted to glare at her father with a sudden anger that she had never felt towards him before, she felt like she had finally snapped."... That Kakashi is not a bastard. He's the kindest person I know and I love him with all of my heart."She whispered. Her fathers eyes widened in surprise and hatred. His mouth curled into a snarl.
A scream echoed throughout the street.
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Okay pretty sad chapter but I liked it. Based on Dashboard confessionals- "The places that you fear the most",
Never again- Nickleback the first verse only.