@)~~~~
"Well, I'm officially pregnant." Kagome said sweetly, dropping her purse on the floor as she sauntered into the foyer, "Now what?"
Mrs. Higurashi's answer was muffled by her blubbering sobs.
"I guess I'll pick out baby names next," Kagome continued, oblivious to the nostalgic tears streaming down her mother's face.
"I'm thinking Kenji if it's a boy--" Mrs. Higurashi could no longer contain herself and let out a high-pitched "SCREE" of motherly desperation and loss. It was then Kagome realized something was wrong.
"Something wrong, Mom?"
Mrs. Higurashi stared at her daughter—no, not her daughter, but in fact, the woman who had a baby with a test-tube and was now picking out baby names—BABY NAMES—a sacred ritual of argumentation and make up sex done between couples and here she was, watching Jay Leno and trying to decide on Kenji—the name she and Mr. Higurashi were considering for her if she'd been a boy. But no, she was a girl; a pregnant fatherless and husbandless girl at that---and then the cycle continued itself in Mrs. Higurashi's head.
"Aw, cheer up, Mom!" Kagome's voice seemed unusually perky and demanding to Mrs. Higurashi today. There is a point between sadness, rage, and ecstasy in the emotional scale of every parent and Kagome had officially introduced Mrs. Higurashi to "numb" and "slightly drunk off NYQUIL."
Kagome logically realized her mother, a traditionalist of her own invention, would not exactly be complying to the idea of in vitro fertilization, but decided to ignore it because, after all, ignorance was bliss and letting her mother catch onto the idea that she may have a social IQ greater than 30 was counterproductive to her happily independent single mother scenario.
She was going to have a baby, and that was all that mattered.
"Well, Mom," Kagome said two minutes later, "This has been a lovely visit. We should do it more often. I'm going to leave now, so try not to have any sugar or fruit unless you really feel it would prevent you from having a conniption. The mailman hasn't been in today, so your Tokyo Living won't be in, but that's okay, because there's a special on the cooking channel dedicated to oden. You know how much I like oden! It'll be so much fun when we get together when I get those cravi--"
Kagome sprinted for the car as her mother's wails resounded through the neighborhood, angering a few strays and a pizza delivery boy.
@)~~~~
"She's not taking it well, Sango."
"I could have told you that."
"Yes, well, having babies are supposed to be a happy thing. I even told her about the IY guy and how much we have in common and--"
"She started crying?"
Kagome looked up at Sango, bewildered, "Why, yes!"
"And then, you started discussing cravings and baby names and she started chopping onions to make it seem like her sudden hysterics were because of those?"
"Yes! How did you know?"
"BECAUSE IT'S THE EIGHTH TIME TODAY I'VE HEARD ABOUT IT AND--"
Kagome grasped Sango's hand, partially to comfort her and partially to assure the other members of the seaside café they were in that Sango was indeed publicly supervised and it was safe for their children to feed pigeons without a lunatic in taijya uniform jumping out of a nearby bush and yelling "Boo!"
Sango gave the secretive nod all women give during a monthly. Kagome was more so oblivious than usual and handed her a Bean-O.
Sango stared at the tablet in awe of her friend's...well...what was it about Kagome...while Kagome went to get another packet of soy sauce. Sango was interrupted in her musings by a melodious and deplorable voice.
"Why, hello again, Sango my dear..."
@)~~~~
Inuyasha never considered himself a cynic and like most cynics, he considered himself a realist who knew, in fact, that the entire universe had been specially created for the sole purpose of pissing him off.
Yes, it was Sesshoumaru...again.
Inuyasha had trouble believing it. There was no way a man of Sesshoumaru's caliber, one minute as bouncy as a cheerleader with new implants, and the next minute as stoic as his father after a particularly long bath (the clan of Inutashio maintained certain dog like qualities—hatred for bathing, cats, and car bumpers) was actually functioning as a normal human being in the workforce. The man cheerfully welcomed his clients (who, for some reason, were always remarkably young women wanting to divorce unthinkably geriatric men) and then did a 180 when Microsoft Word took more than ten seconds to load.
Oh, well, Inuyasha thought hurriedly, perhaps that wasn't exactly what ticked him off. I mean, I didn't exactly—okay, so I did—know that French Vanilla made him break out into melon-sized hives...and...and...why does he have the stuff anyways?
Later on, as Inuyasha sat terrified under the castigating glare of his father, he found out that Sesshoumaru's personal secretary, Rin, had a fetish for French Vanilla and his brother, to please her, had bought them in numerous factory-sized boxes. Inuyasha allowed himself a small grin. Idiot.
He needed to get out and pound the crap out of Miroku, who put him in this position in the first place.
@)~~~~
Inuyasha did not understand how the "sonuvabitch lecherous decrepit excrement of manhood" had managed it, but he had both pacified the hanyou and gotten him to go into a public café.
It was suspicious, and seeing the way Miroku was heading towards a rather depressed looking young woman, it began to make sense.
Not wanting to be associated as the accomplice of a public groper, Inuyasha inconspicuously headed towards the condiment table—
--where the world just fucked him over again.
@)~~~~
Kagome was a pregnant woman. Logically, she would be allowed into the front of the line for soy sauce. Assuming the world knew of her condition, she walked aggressively forward—
--and went slamming like a catapulted walrus that had mercifully met its destination against Inuyasha—
--who, being larger than her, despite her early stages of pregnancy, did not fall, but instead acted like a hardwood trampoline from which she practically bounced and landed semi-conscious against a wall—
--which was when Sango decided to scream.
"OH MY GOD! DID IT HURT THE BABY, KAGOME?!" And, being an experienced man of trouble, Inuyasha knew he was knee deep in it.
"Well, I'm officially pregnant." Kagome said sweetly, dropping her purse on the floor as she sauntered into the foyer, "Now what?"
Mrs. Higurashi's answer was muffled by her blubbering sobs.
"I guess I'll pick out baby names next," Kagome continued, oblivious to the nostalgic tears streaming down her mother's face.
"I'm thinking Kenji if it's a boy--" Mrs. Higurashi could no longer contain herself and let out a high-pitched "SCREE" of motherly desperation and loss. It was then Kagome realized something was wrong.
"Something wrong, Mom?"
Mrs. Higurashi stared at her daughter—no, not her daughter, but in fact, the woman who had a baby with a test-tube and was now picking out baby names—BABY NAMES—a sacred ritual of argumentation and make up sex done between couples and here she was, watching Jay Leno and trying to decide on Kenji—the name she and Mr. Higurashi were considering for her if she'd been a boy. But no, she was a girl; a pregnant fatherless and husbandless girl at that---and then the cycle continued itself in Mrs. Higurashi's head.
"Aw, cheer up, Mom!" Kagome's voice seemed unusually perky and demanding to Mrs. Higurashi today. There is a point between sadness, rage, and ecstasy in the emotional scale of every parent and Kagome had officially introduced Mrs. Higurashi to "numb" and "slightly drunk off NYQUIL."
Kagome logically realized her mother, a traditionalist of her own invention, would not exactly be complying to the idea of in vitro fertilization, but decided to ignore it because, after all, ignorance was bliss and letting her mother catch onto the idea that she may have a social IQ greater than 30 was counterproductive to her happily independent single mother scenario.
She was going to have a baby, and that was all that mattered.
"Well, Mom," Kagome said two minutes later, "This has been a lovely visit. We should do it more often. I'm going to leave now, so try not to have any sugar or fruit unless you really feel it would prevent you from having a conniption. The mailman hasn't been in today, so your Tokyo Living won't be in, but that's okay, because there's a special on the cooking channel dedicated to oden. You know how much I like oden! It'll be so much fun when we get together when I get those cravi--"
Kagome sprinted for the car as her mother's wails resounded through the neighborhood, angering a few strays and a pizza delivery boy.
@)~~~~
"She's not taking it well, Sango."
"I could have told you that."
"Yes, well, having babies are supposed to be a happy thing. I even told her about the IY guy and how much we have in common and--"
"She started crying?"
Kagome looked up at Sango, bewildered, "Why, yes!"
"And then, you started discussing cravings and baby names and she started chopping onions to make it seem like her sudden hysterics were because of those?"
"Yes! How did you know?"
"BECAUSE IT'S THE EIGHTH TIME TODAY I'VE HEARD ABOUT IT AND--"
Kagome grasped Sango's hand, partially to comfort her and partially to assure the other members of the seaside café they were in that Sango was indeed publicly supervised and it was safe for their children to feed pigeons without a lunatic in taijya uniform jumping out of a nearby bush and yelling "Boo!"
Sango gave the secretive nod all women give during a monthly. Kagome was more so oblivious than usual and handed her a Bean-O.
Sango stared at the tablet in awe of her friend's...well...what was it about Kagome...while Kagome went to get another packet of soy sauce. Sango was interrupted in her musings by a melodious and deplorable voice.
"Why, hello again, Sango my dear..."
@)~~~~
Inuyasha never considered himself a cynic and like most cynics, he considered himself a realist who knew, in fact, that the entire universe had been specially created for the sole purpose of pissing him off.
Yes, it was Sesshoumaru...again.
Inuyasha had trouble believing it. There was no way a man of Sesshoumaru's caliber, one minute as bouncy as a cheerleader with new implants, and the next minute as stoic as his father after a particularly long bath (the clan of Inutashio maintained certain dog like qualities—hatred for bathing, cats, and car bumpers) was actually functioning as a normal human being in the workforce. The man cheerfully welcomed his clients (who, for some reason, were always remarkably young women wanting to divorce unthinkably geriatric men) and then did a 180 when Microsoft Word took more than ten seconds to load.
Oh, well, Inuyasha thought hurriedly, perhaps that wasn't exactly what ticked him off. I mean, I didn't exactly—okay, so I did—know that French Vanilla made him break out into melon-sized hives...and...and...why does he have the stuff anyways?
Later on, as Inuyasha sat terrified under the castigating glare of his father, he found out that Sesshoumaru's personal secretary, Rin, had a fetish for French Vanilla and his brother, to please her, had bought them in numerous factory-sized boxes. Inuyasha allowed himself a small grin. Idiot.
He needed to get out and pound the crap out of Miroku, who put him in this position in the first place.
@)~~~~
Inuyasha did not understand how the "sonuvabitch lecherous decrepit excrement of manhood" had managed it, but he had both pacified the hanyou and gotten him to go into a public café.
It was suspicious, and seeing the way Miroku was heading towards a rather depressed looking young woman, it began to make sense.
Not wanting to be associated as the accomplice of a public groper, Inuyasha inconspicuously headed towards the condiment table—
--where the world just fucked him over again.
@)~~~~
Kagome was a pregnant woman. Logically, she would be allowed into the front of the line for soy sauce. Assuming the world knew of her condition, she walked aggressively forward—
--and went slamming like a catapulted walrus that had mercifully met its destination against Inuyasha—
--who, being larger than her, despite her early stages of pregnancy, did not fall, but instead acted like a hardwood trampoline from which she practically bounced and landed semi-conscious against a wall—
--which was when Sango decided to scream.
"OH MY GOD! DID IT HURT THE BABY, KAGOME?!" And, being an experienced man of trouble, Inuyasha knew he was knee deep in it.