Chapter Four: Sometimes I wonder…: Chapter eleven

Ossa

"Hey Lloyd, why aren't you angry that someone tried to kill our best friend?" Asked Genis to Lloyd after the surprise attack of the mysterious, yet clumsy assassin.

"I don't know. When we were fighting, I saw something in her eyes, a kind and sincere look, as if she was trying to kill Colette for a reason…"

Genis looked at Lloyd and shook his head, "I could never understand you Lloyd."

Temple of Wind

"Why are you doing this? Don't you realize that our journey will save the world?" yelled Raine at the ever-so-persistent assassin.

"Your world? Only your world will be saved!" Sheena rebuffed as she sprinted back into the depths of the ruins.

Lloyd looked puzzled and deep in thought, "Our world? Isn't ours the only one there is?"

Night at destroyed Luin

Sheena took a look around, no one was awake. She could easily save Tethe'alla just be sneaking in the tent next to her and pulling out a dagger…no. That is not the honorable way. There must be another way.

"Oh, so your awake." a quiet voice snuck into her ears, almost like a swallow's song to the wind. Sheena looked around, next to her, leaning forwards was the person who saved her life, Lloyd.

"Tch, oh. It's you. Coming to make sure I don't betray you? Man, you guys are a cautious bunch." she snapped, trying to erase all thoughts of killing the Chosen of mana.

Lloyd shook his head, "Nah, I just can't sleep with the wandering souls of so many people who died."

Sheena was a bit shocked, that was the same reason why she couldn't sleep. "Yeah, it's hard sleeping on a battlefield. So many dreams and hopes left unrealized."

"Yeah…I agree with you." Lloyd sat down and sighed. "Let's just hope we can help those who are still alive."

"…All that we can do is hope." Sheena's gaze swung upwards, looking at the stars. Suddenly, it hit her; why was she telling him all this? "H-hey! Stop trying to break me down! I'm still your enemy!"

Tower of mana

"Dammit! Look out!" Sheena quickly grabbed Lloyd and brought him up against a wall as the floor began to give way. "Be more careful next time, you idiot." Sheena scolded Lloyd.

Suddenly, Sheena noticed an arrow flying right at her. A flash of light and darkness as her mind raced, "Arg!" She felt herself fall to the ground, but she felt no pain. Instead, when she looked up, She noticed Lloyd pulling an arrow out of his right arm before falling next to her.

"Dammit! You idiot!" Sheena quickly pulled out a tourniquet and covered Lloyd's wound. Within a second, she whispered a quick spell. A white light surrounded her arms and worked her way to the wounded area. "Life seal!" She yelled silently as she pressed harder against the blooded area.

Lloyd's sharp breathing subsided, "Man. Thanks Sheena. That's twice you saved my life."

Remembering the past, Sheena got off him and put the blooded tourniquet away. "No. Now we're even. Let's get going and not keep Colette and the others waiting."

"Right."

Outside Meltokio

"Well, this is where my journey ends with you guys." Sheena smiled while scanning over the faced who helped her travel this far.

"Why? Aren't you going to stay with us?" asked Lloyd with a strong concern over her new friend.

Sheena shook her head 'no', "Well, as you know. I was sent to kill the Chosen. So my chief is going to be pretty pissed off at me. So I have to report my failure to him."

Lloyd thought ahead, "Well, let's not say goodbye then. I'm sure we'll meet up in the future."

Sheena smiled, "Yeah. Let's just say we'll see each other later." Sheena dug into her pocket, "Oh yeah. Could you give this to the king of Meltokio for me? It's a letter." She gave it to Lloyd. But in doing so, she brought him closer and gave him a tight hug.

"Yeah, I'll defiantly see you later, Sheena." Lloyd whispered in her ear.

Sheena closed her eyes and she let go the letter, "Yeah. Thanks Lloyd. How about me and you…" Sheena opened her eyes, Genis was sighing while Raine was shaking her head. And Colette just stood there, emotionless. She quickly let go, "Oh. Sorry. I'll see all of you later."

Mizuho before volt

"Hey…What's up?" Asked Lloyd as he approached Sheena who was overlooking a graveyard. She had a long look on her face, as if remembering a painful past.

Sheena scanned the graves, as if looking for a long lost friend, "You see all these graves Lloyd? They're all my fault. My inability to capture Volt let to their deaths. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Lloyd shook his head and stood next to Sheena, "Who said we'll die?"

"Because I'm here Lloyd. My inability to do something led to people's death. It's my fault they're dead Lloyd." Sheena held her head closer to her knees, keeping her eyes barely opened.

"It'll be different this time Sheena. Your not like the past, your different now." Lloyd sat down and smiled.

Sheena looked at Lloyd in the eyes, "What if Volt goes berserk again?" She looked at Lloyd with tearful eyes.

"Then I'll cut him down myself!" Lloyd unsheathed one of his swords and held it before Sheena. "I'll protect you, just like you want to protect the people of Mizuho."

"…Lloyd." Sheena began to feel more tears well up in her eyes.

Lloyd put his arm around Sheena and gave her more confidence, he didn't know it at the time, but Colette was watching them both form behind a building.

"Sheena. What matters is now. I believe you can do it, just like I believed in you at Thoda, Balacruf, and Triet. You can do it because I know you can."

Temple of Ice

Celsius looked at the several warriors who would dare walk into her home. "Well, what do you want?" she asked impudently.

"I seek a pact with the Summon spirit of ice. I am Sheena. I ask that you annul thou pact with Mithos and form a new one with me." Sheena said, remembering word for word what she was taught.

Celsius sighed, "Alright. But your tone of voice is like telling me what to do." she turned around and whistled.

"So does that mean you'll do it?" Asked Lloyd, looking around, behind him his friends we're running to catch up. It was only him and Sheena in the actual temple grounds.

Suddenly, Celsius hit the floor with her fists, a large ice wall rode out of the ground and blocked any entrance or exit from the temple. Leaving Sheena and Lloyd stranded. "What? Do you think Fenrir will do it for free? You've got to be kidding me! Let's do this!" a large ice wolf jumped overhead Celsius and ran towards Lloyd. "It's fair. Two on two." Celsius eyed Sheena carefully, "Ice breaker!" She hit the ground again with her fist, ice began to rise to her direction, razor sharp ice.

"Pyre seal!" yelled Sheena as she placed a red piece of paper on the ground, in quick timing, she formed a magic circle around her. She chanted a prayer to the summon spirits, "Take her down Efreet!"

The giant summon spirit of fire materialized in front, breaking the ice columns with ease. "So we meet again Celsius."

"Humph, never thought I'd have to see your pitiful face again." Sheena noticed as Efreet and Celsius began to fight, not with magic, but with fists.

Sheena averted her gaze to Lloyd, who was fighting defensively against Fenrir. He was losing the battle, he wasn't nearly as fast or mobile as the summon spirit of ice. Suddenly, the wolf landed near Sheena and began to jump over her, from reflex, she placed a fire seal on it's stomach. Causing it to set on fire. Before it could be doused, Fenrir was already unconscious.

"Swallow dance!" Celsius landed three successive attacks on Efreet before he disappeared. She then looked at Fenrir, raising her hands she admitted defeat. "I yield. Your worthy!"

"Thanks Sheena. Any more and I would of been history." Lloyd said, sweat drops hitting the temple floor and freezing.

Sheena smiled, "No problem."

Sheena

I couldn't get back to sleep, my memories with Lloyd are far to vivid. The last few days have been hell. From Iselia, we spent two days in Triet, then we walked across the desert again and now we're in our last day here in Izoold. But now it's the worst yet, when we first left Iselia, my dreams were always around my friends and how they would react… now it's always about Lloyd and Me.

I got up from bed and began to look out the window. Both Celsius and Colette were asleep, and everyone else was tucked in bed and retired for the day. So I guess I felt safe to walk around outside and daydream. The night was actually pretty tranquil considering the storm that was inside my heart. I eventually found my way to the wooden docks, each of them stretching out into the calm ocean that lay before me. I wanted to jump and swim all the way to some deserted island and escape all the problems in the world. But I just sat down on the edge and let the water caress my feet.

"Lloyd, what do the stars and moon mean to you? Are they just there? Or maybe they are there for someone special." I know what he would say and do, he would sit down next to me and place his arm around me and say 'Sheena, they are always there for everyone and one person. Sort of like how your there for everyone and me'. That's what he would say. I feel like an idiot now that I think of what I said. I can't believe myself sometimes.

"Hey, Orochi. When you look at the stars, what do you think of?" I asked my husband on just random night when I was bored. I sat at the edge of the river, dangling my feet over the edge, letting the water be it's only covering.

"…I don't think of anything. They are just there because Mana put them there. Let's get back inside, you'll catch your death of cold." Orochi, your sweet and all, but your not Lloyd. No one can ever be Lloyd.

"Sheena? Are you okay?" It was Colette. I can tell her sweet, loving voice a mile away. I feel like running like I always have, away from the truth, away from life and everyone who loved me.

I won't this time, "…Colette. I want to say that I'm fine, but I'm not. I have something to tell you." I told Colette, my voice breaking.

"Okay. We're friends, so we gotta talk to each other, right?" She smiled softly and kindly at me as she sat down. Would she be happy that I left Lloyd? Would she be glad that he's now her's again?

"Yeah…Colette. Lloyd's condition. It's all my fault." I told her, keeping my eyes hidden so only that the fish could see them. "I broke Lloyd's heart. I told him I hate him. I told him that I never loved him."

"Sheena…why are you lying to me? Why did you lie to Lloyd?" She looked sad at the fact that I destroyed all of Lloyd's dreams. "Your horrible. Lloyd admired you and looked up to you."

"…" I couldn't reply. Does she know? "I can't love Lloyd though…I'm married already."

"Lloyd once told me," Colette looked down at the waters below her, the moonlight shining off her hair and forming almost as peaceful aura around her. Her bright blue eyes reflected in the water, causing it to stir happily, "He told me that love is something that life is worth living for. From that I learned that it was you, Sheena, it was you who kept Lloyd alive for all this time."

"Me?" I couldn't comprehend any of it, it was Lloyd who kept me alive, his hopes and ideals that kept me going. Not the other way around.

"Sheena, the hope that you gave Lloyd gave him everything he needed to defeat Mithos, even from the beginning. Lloyd saw himself in you. He saw that if he defeated Mithos, it meant that your Clan didn't have to be alone anymore. That you wouldn't be alone anymore. But Lloyd lost something by defeating Mithos."

"What was that?"

"He lost all his dreams and hopes. He placed all of those in you without you knowing it. By killing Mithos, he recognized all your hopes which were his. All he wanted was to see you become wanted once more."

"…I…I'm sorry…"

"Sheena…Say your true feelings to Lloyd. We will see him again, I know we will. Tell him everything Sheena. It means more then everything to him, it means his life."

By killing Mithos… he helped me? Then I remembered…Mizuho. The fight with Kuchinawa.

The fight had taken it's toll on me. Even thought I won, I had exhausted every cell in my body. I could move, barely. Everything I did felt like it was a one-thousand mile journey. It was night time, so it was deemed too late to go back to Mizuho. The island was small, no longer then forty feet across with a large tree in the middle. A slow moving river strung it way around the river and meandered into the horizon. Around us was a thin forest with various wildlife around it.

Lloyd had since then started a fire and set up the tents and monster seals, there wasn't anything more to do then to just sit around the fire and gaze at it's wondrous glow in the nighttime air. "Lloyd? Why are you always helping me out?" I asked him softly, keeping my voice low so that not even the wind could carry it.

"Hm? Well, I don't' know. Maybe it's because you remind me of someone." Lloyd responded while laying down on the soft, grassy ground.

Did he already have a girl in his life? Of course he did, it was Colette. stupid question, "Anyone in particular I remind you of?"

He seemed reluctant to answer, but after a short smile and a look into my eyes, he told me everything that changed my life. "Well, in your eyes Sheena, I see myself."

"Huh? What do you mean? I see myself?"

"Everything you do is to hope someone notices you and praises you. You were adopted as a child and taken into an scary place. You were always different, so you did everything you could to get people to notice you so you could feel wanted."

Could he see right into me? Am I really that obvious to everyone? "How do you know this Lloyd?" I question him, maybe he was stalking me and trying to see how much he could learn about me.

"Because…I am the same. Your dreams are mine, but you actually have something waiting for you at home. You have a life ahead of you. I have nothing."

Lloyd's dreams were mine…

Time has stood still again. At the horizon I could barely make out the Palmacosta coastline. Behind me were numerous boats and fishing nets that came back to life after the beasts subsided. Next to me was an angel who's smile was stronger then any healing spell Raine could use. I just sat there, knowing what I did to Lloyd. After everything we've done in the past. Yet I crushed those dreams of his, because I was so selfish. Sometimes I wonder…was I meant to be born? Now I know. Yes, I was. Because I was born to give hope to Lloyd.

Lloyd, i'm sorry.

A/N-I actually know what I'm writing about for once, I know how the characters will feel given certain circumstances. So I feel as if I have a connection to both Sheena and Lloyd. Sheena isn't out of character, she's just defending Lloyd. Also, once I'm done with a later chapter or so, I'm going to re-read and make some small cosmetic changes to the previous chapters.

These chapters were rather…serious and depressing. So I'll make that up to you in the upcoming chapters (save the one about Lloyd's POV. Hint, hint, wink, wink)