@)~~~~
"So, wench, this is where you come to finally hide your ugly mug from the world?"
Kagome's teeth clenched. She could not BELIEVE he had to live with her....
@)~~~~
Flashback...
@)~~~~
Mrs. Higurashi smiled beatifically after Miroku's verdict was finalized and they all—ALL—went out for coffee.
"Your honor, you're a very bright young lad." Mrs. Higurashi said, daintily stirring creamer into her French Vanilla.
Miroku blushed and hid his face behind his ceramic mug.
"I think for young Inuyasha here to fully be able to help Kagome, he should be closer at hand, don't you?"
Miroku colored again and nodded, never having experienced motherly pampering...just an occasional sake or playboy from his godfather, Mushin...but this wasn't half bad either....
Kagome knew a ploy in the making. THIS was a ploy in the making.
"Inuyasha lives two blocks from me, don't you, Inuyasha? Right, Inuyasha? You could be at my place ANY TIME you wanted, right Inuyasha?" Kagome strained each "Inuyasha" in a meaningful manner and put another spoon of sugar into her steaming Kona.
"Um...." Inuyasha was a bit perturbed the Kagome girl knew where he lived...but he was never quite quick to catch on, "Where exactly do you live again?"
Mrs. Higurashi also knew a ploy in the making. THIS was a ploy in the making—one she fully intended to stop.
"There you have it! Kagome has a guest bedroom she uses for her little music hobby. It's just the right size for a strapping young boy!"
"Mommmyyyyy," Kagome whined as a last resort, "I was going to make it the BABY'S room."
"Oh, well, then," said Mrs. Higurashi, never missing a beat, "Then Inuyasha can share your room."
"WE NEVER AGREED ON LIVING TOGETHER!" Kagome shrieked, gaining Sango's attention from Miroku's hand and her mace.
"But the court DEFINITELY agrees, doesn't it, your honor?" Mrs. Higurashi found her trump card. Miroku knew a ploy when he...ah, screw it. This would be TOO funny.
"Inuyasha, not only will the court hold you in contempt...but it'll be another ten years in prison...with Jakotsu...who I hear has started a talent sho--"
By now, Inuyasha had stood up, grabbed Kagome by the shirtsleeve and stormed out of the coffee house.
"Feh, wench," she heard him say, "You better have HBO."
@)~~~~
End of flashback...
@)~~~~
"This is my apartment, Inuyasha. Over there is your room, the kitchen is here—if you have urges to drink from the carton, just ask, and I'm sure you can share a dish with Buyo—living room, and bathroom. I put a tree in your bedroom, just in case some primal inclination caused you to be dumber than usual. Hold one moment."
And with that, Kagome rushed into the bathroom to vomit. She couldn't understand what was going on. It was supposed to be MORNING sickness, not "Late Afternoon With Mr. Incorrigible Bastard Smirking In the Next Room" sickness.
When she came out, having emptied the contents of her stomach into what Inuyasha came to know as "plumbing", he looked half dead on the floor. Entranced by his spinning yellow eyes, she kicked him.
"You idiot! It's not that bad! Are you always this melodramatic?!"
"I'm half dog demon! Say it with me! D-O-G demon! What part of that makes you think even a light deodorant won't cause me to have a coma?! Speaking of which, you should probably lose Soft and Dry and try Old Spice...even Sesshoumaru is more bearable than--"
Kagome beat him over the head with her Mother Care book and sat down to read, using the hanyou's head as a footrest.
"Hmm," Kagome read aloud, making sure her voice was irritable to the overly- sensitive thing at her feet, "Symptoms of Pregnancy...are you listening to this, Inuyasha?" there was a grunt in response, "No period! That's a relief!" Kagome thought she heard a gagging sound, "'feeling' pregnant...okay, weird...nausea and vomiting...god, do I know that...soreness and enlargement of the breasts...hmmm...maybe I'm not noticing...do I--"
Kagome looked down towards her chest to see if there would be any reason for pain and enlargement and a blushing Inuyasha knocked her feet over.
"MUST you talk about THAT while I'm in the room?!?!" He panted, unsure whether it was him or her at fault.
"Well, I JUST wanted to have a good idea of what the next nine months would be like!"
"Feh, you get knocked up, your stomach swells, and you let out a kid! It's not astrophysics!"
"Big words from a stupid brain, Inuyasha!"
"Why you--!" Alas, she had hit him again.
"Mood swings! Fancy that!"
@)~~~~
Sango knew calling Kagome when an undesirable visitor was at her house was not the best way to remove her stress, as Kagome would be in a mental situation mirroring her own, but she had to let it out somehow.
She tried screaming, but the neighbors complained.
She read bedtime stories from when she was five, listened to soothing music, took several baths, tried taking a nap but Kirara wanted to be fed every time she neared a REM cycle, and now she was counting clouds.
There was one. It was big and amorphous and reminded her of her inner turmoil regarding the judge, who just happened to be of the peaceful, non- violent Buddhist religion and a sex maniac.
Her bell rang. It could have been Kagome. It could have been Kohaku. Mrs. Higurashi. Heck, even Inuyasha. Her landlord. The paperboy. The pool boy—who CARES if she lived in an apartment??
But no. It was Miroku. He had flowers, chocolate, and a lecherous grin.
She slammed the door in his face and felt a trace of guilt at a cracking sound. Five minutes later, remembering the fate of Inuyasha, she opened it to find him unscathed except for his finger, which was turning large and purple.
She asked him what the fuck he wanted. His eyebrows went up and down at the mention of fuck, so she took the chocolate and closed the door even harder on the foot he had squeezed into the door.
This time, the pain was enough to make him double up, but not enough to stop the smile—the smile with the perfectly aligned teeth, perpetually upturned corner, smooth brown lips, and slightly slanted eyes that shone like twin stars of perversion and lit up her dismal doorway.
She wanted to knock his bloody gums out.
At last he spoke.
"Sango, I was wondering--"
"No."
"—if you would accompany me--"
"No."
"—to the new residence of the happy parents."
"N-why?"
Miroku's smile, if possible, increased by twenty watts.
"Why, to congratulate them!"
"Don't you value your life? There's probably a knife fight going on in there!"
"All the better for us to intervene, my dear. Who else in the world do they trust more than us?"
"Um..." Sango knew Inuyasha had a bit of a...pure, unstoppable, extreme hatred for the supposed "best friend" who put his work in front of their friendship...and DID want to see the lecher's face squashed in.
"Okay." Sango conceded.
@)~~~~
They found them with Kagome reading from a little yellow book and Inuyasha covering his ears with pillows.
"...swollen ankles, unnatural cravings, fatigue, increased urination--" Kagome stopped as if she realized something, "...I HAVE TO PEE!"
"God! Announce it to the damn world! I'll just be here with my EXTRA SENSITIVE HEARING and...and..." Inuyasha looked as tearful as a hanyou could look tearful, "DIE! That's what I'll do...DIE!" He looked over and saw Miroku enter with a fearful Sango.
"But I'm taking the monk with me!" He lunged at Miroku, only to stop when the latter hit him over the head with a religious looking wooden staff.
"Hallo, Inuyasha. Good day for a visit, isn't it?" Miroku asked jovially. Sango was finding something to do in the corner. There was always something to do in the corner.
"Bastard."
"I was thinking, 'Why not visit my favorite daddy, Inuyasha?' So I decided to stop by with the lovely Miss Sango."
"Eat shit and die," Inuyasha and Sango replied simultaneously.
"And I see you are becoming settled with Miss Kagome...ah, here she comes now...a little sore are we, milady?"
Kagome thought Miroku was charming and that Sango needed to get laid. Desperately.
"A little, Miroku, thank you for asking. Could you possibly help me with this footrest? I feel so tired and at least YOU'RE," she looked at Inuyasha accusingly, "chivalrous enough realize the hard work involved with a pregnancy."
Before Inuyasha could retaliate, reality hit Sango and hit her hard. Her tongue started working of its own accord.
"Probably because he's caused so many...how many goat farms HAVE banned you, Houshi?"
Miroku's smile remained. Sango felt a tick coming on. She left it to Inuyasha to fill the conversation with negativity because all she could think of was a large bludgeon.
"What the hell do you mean CHIVALROUS, wench?!"
"GUESS, stupid!"
"You know, I really can't imagine why you two don't get along. I mean, parenting is a stressful--"
By now, even Kagome was starting to find the smile unnerving and made a silent pact with Inuyasha and Sango.
"The breeze up here is lovely, Lady Kagome," Miroku said, oblivious to three dark figures nearing his sunny stature, "You must have—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
As Miroku dangled from the balcony, even Kagome agreed with the other two that a scream of terror had never sounded so melodious.
@)~~~~
"So, wench, this is where you come to finally hide your ugly mug from the world?"
Kagome's teeth clenched. She could not BELIEVE he had to live with her....
@)~~~~
Flashback...
@)~~~~
Mrs. Higurashi smiled beatifically after Miroku's verdict was finalized and they all—ALL—went out for coffee.
"Your honor, you're a very bright young lad." Mrs. Higurashi said, daintily stirring creamer into her French Vanilla.
Miroku blushed and hid his face behind his ceramic mug.
"I think for young Inuyasha here to fully be able to help Kagome, he should be closer at hand, don't you?"
Miroku colored again and nodded, never having experienced motherly pampering...just an occasional sake or playboy from his godfather, Mushin...but this wasn't half bad either....
Kagome knew a ploy in the making. THIS was a ploy in the making.
"Inuyasha lives two blocks from me, don't you, Inuyasha? Right, Inuyasha? You could be at my place ANY TIME you wanted, right Inuyasha?" Kagome strained each "Inuyasha" in a meaningful manner and put another spoon of sugar into her steaming Kona.
"Um...." Inuyasha was a bit perturbed the Kagome girl knew where he lived...but he was never quite quick to catch on, "Where exactly do you live again?"
Mrs. Higurashi also knew a ploy in the making. THIS was a ploy in the making—one she fully intended to stop.
"There you have it! Kagome has a guest bedroom she uses for her little music hobby. It's just the right size for a strapping young boy!"
"Mommmyyyyy," Kagome whined as a last resort, "I was going to make it the BABY'S room."
"Oh, well, then," said Mrs. Higurashi, never missing a beat, "Then Inuyasha can share your room."
"WE NEVER AGREED ON LIVING TOGETHER!" Kagome shrieked, gaining Sango's attention from Miroku's hand and her mace.
"But the court DEFINITELY agrees, doesn't it, your honor?" Mrs. Higurashi found her trump card. Miroku knew a ploy when he...ah, screw it. This would be TOO funny.
"Inuyasha, not only will the court hold you in contempt...but it'll be another ten years in prison...with Jakotsu...who I hear has started a talent sho--"
By now, Inuyasha had stood up, grabbed Kagome by the shirtsleeve and stormed out of the coffee house.
"Feh, wench," she heard him say, "You better have HBO."
@)~~~~
End of flashback...
@)~~~~
"This is my apartment, Inuyasha. Over there is your room, the kitchen is here—if you have urges to drink from the carton, just ask, and I'm sure you can share a dish with Buyo—living room, and bathroom. I put a tree in your bedroom, just in case some primal inclination caused you to be dumber than usual. Hold one moment."
And with that, Kagome rushed into the bathroom to vomit. She couldn't understand what was going on. It was supposed to be MORNING sickness, not "Late Afternoon With Mr. Incorrigible Bastard Smirking In the Next Room" sickness.
When she came out, having emptied the contents of her stomach into what Inuyasha came to know as "plumbing", he looked half dead on the floor. Entranced by his spinning yellow eyes, she kicked him.
"You idiot! It's not that bad! Are you always this melodramatic?!"
"I'm half dog demon! Say it with me! D-O-G demon! What part of that makes you think even a light deodorant won't cause me to have a coma?! Speaking of which, you should probably lose Soft and Dry and try Old Spice...even Sesshoumaru is more bearable than--"
Kagome beat him over the head with her Mother Care book and sat down to read, using the hanyou's head as a footrest.
"Hmm," Kagome read aloud, making sure her voice was irritable to the overly- sensitive thing at her feet, "Symptoms of Pregnancy...are you listening to this, Inuyasha?" there was a grunt in response, "No period! That's a relief!" Kagome thought she heard a gagging sound, "'feeling' pregnant...okay, weird...nausea and vomiting...god, do I know that...soreness and enlargement of the breasts...hmmm...maybe I'm not noticing...do I--"
Kagome looked down towards her chest to see if there would be any reason for pain and enlargement and a blushing Inuyasha knocked her feet over.
"MUST you talk about THAT while I'm in the room?!?!" He panted, unsure whether it was him or her at fault.
"Well, I JUST wanted to have a good idea of what the next nine months would be like!"
"Feh, you get knocked up, your stomach swells, and you let out a kid! It's not astrophysics!"
"Big words from a stupid brain, Inuyasha!"
"Why you--!" Alas, she had hit him again.
"Mood swings! Fancy that!"
@)~~~~
Sango knew calling Kagome when an undesirable visitor was at her house was not the best way to remove her stress, as Kagome would be in a mental situation mirroring her own, but she had to let it out somehow.
She tried screaming, but the neighbors complained.
She read bedtime stories from when she was five, listened to soothing music, took several baths, tried taking a nap but Kirara wanted to be fed every time she neared a REM cycle, and now she was counting clouds.
There was one. It was big and amorphous and reminded her of her inner turmoil regarding the judge, who just happened to be of the peaceful, non- violent Buddhist religion and a sex maniac.
Her bell rang. It could have been Kagome. It could have been Kohaku. Mrs. Higurashi. Heck, even Inuyasha. Her landlord. The paperboy. The pool boy—who CARES if she lived in an apartment??
But no. It was Miroku. He had flowers, chocolate, and a lecherous grin.
She slammed the door in his face and felt a trace of guilt at a cracking sound. Five minutes later, remembering the fate of Inuyasha, she opened it to find him unscathed except for his finger, which was turning large and purple.
She asked him what the fuck he wanted. His eyebrows went up and down at the mention of fuck, so she took the chocolate and closed the door even harder on the foot he had squeezed into the door.
This time, the pain was enough to make him double up, but not enough to stop the smile—the smile with the perfectly aligned teeth, perpetually upturned corner, smooth brown lips, and slightly slanted eyes that shone like twin stars of perversion and lit up her dismal doorway.
She wanted to knock his bloody gums out.
At last he spoke.
"Sango, I was wondering--"
"No."
"—if you would accompany me--"
"No."
"—to the new residence of the happy parents."
"N-why?"
Miroku's smile, if possible, increased by twenty watts.
"Why, to congratulate them!"
"Don't you value your life? There's probably a knife fight going on in there!"
"All the better for us to intervene, my dear. Who else in the world do they trust more than us?"
"Um..." Sango knew Inuyasha had a bit of a...pure, unstoppable, extreme hatred for the supposed "best friend" who put his work in front of their friendship...and DID want to see the lecher's face squashed in.
"Okay." Sango conceded.
@)~~~~
They found them with Kagome reading from a little yellow book and Inuyasha covering his ears with pillows.
"...swollen ankles, unnatural cravings, fatigue, increased urination--" Kagome stopped as if she realized something, "...I HAVE TO PEE!"
"God! Announce it to the damn world! I'll just be here with my EXTRA SENSITIVE HEARING and...and..." Inuyasha looked as tearful as a hanyou could look tearful, "DIE! That's what I'll do...DIE!" He looked over and saw Miroku enter with a fearful Sango.
"But I'm taking the monk with me!" He lunged at Miroku, only to stop when the latter hit him over the head with a religious looking wooden staff.
"Hallo, Inuyasha. Good day for a visit, isn't it?" Miroku asked jovially. Sango was finding something to do in the corner. There was always something to do in the corner.
"Bastard."
"I was thinking, 'Why not visit my favorite daddy, Inuyasha?' So I decided to stop by with the lovely Miss Sango."
"Eat shit and die," Inuyasha and Sango replied simultaneously.
"And I see you are becoming settled with Miss Kagome...ah, here she comes now...a little sore are we, milady?"
Kagome thought Miroku was charming and that Sango needed to get laid. Desperately.
"A little, Miroku, thank you for asking. Could you possibly help me with this footrest? I feel so tired and at least YOU'RE," she looked at Inuyasha accusingly, "chivalrous enough realize the hard work involved with a pregnancy."
Before Inuyasha could retaliate, reality hit Sango and hit her hard. Her tongue started working of its own accord.
"Probably because he's caused so many...how many goat farms HAVE banned you, Houshi?"
Miroku's smile remained. Sango felt a tick coming on. She left it to Inuyasha to fill the conversation with negativity because all she could think of was a large bludgeon.
"What the hell do you mean CHIVALROUS, wench?!"
"GUESS, stupid!"
"You know, I really can't imagine why you two don't get along. I mean, parenting is a stressful--"
By now, even Kagome was starting to find the smile unnerving and made a silent pact with Inuyasha and Sango.
"The breeze up here is lovely, Lady Kagome," Miroku said, oblivious to three dark figures nearing his sunny stature, "You must have—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
As Miroku dangled from the balcony, even Kagome agreed with the other two that a scream of terror had never sounded so melodious.
@)~~~~