Hi!
I know I haven't said much other than the standard disclaimer in Chapter 1 (which still applies) but I think I wanted to get to know my reviewers for a bit.
First of all, I appreciate and honestly love (flame or not) every single review I get. I feel 'read' if that makes any sense at all.
Secondly, I try to review back...if I have anything bright to say - -;;...and do honestly try to read each of your stories (and for the large grand scale of the ones I have been able to read, I love your writing! Keep it up! I'm sure you geniuses know who you are!)
Thirdly, I didn't really comment back here because when I put my personal opinions, written as inoffensively as humanly possible (or so I think) in my Ranma ½ fanfiction "The Akane Story" AN (which is either on hiatus or discontinued depending on my wounded rage) I realized that somehow my fanfic there attracted some weird hybrid anime otakus that believed in blood sucking and idiotic riffraff that frankly would be better situated up their ass.
Fourthly, I have grown to trust you all not to be pillocks. So I'm continuing this fiction whether or not I get lots of reviews or little...because here in the Inuyasha world, fanfiction is polite!...I'm guessing...unless of course there's some kind of gigantic blatantly evil anti- anime fic...then I can see how there would be battle scars....
I tried to make this chapter longer than most for you wonderful people! Please enjoy!
...
And no offense to the color yellow. Personally, I find it quite helpful in illustration of our nation's children's books and Crayola.
)
Mrs. Higurashi thoughtfully stirred her lemon tea while appreciating the summer rainfall gliding down her windowpane. Sure, the pie was soaked and Souta didn't exactly look thrilled with his dessert being spoiled, but she had just finished a rather successful chat with her soon-to-be-un- delinquent daughter.
)
Flashback...
)
Kagome picked up another pair of mismatched socks with a bone insignia and swore to strangle Inuyasha with his own guts when he returned.
'Damn that inconsiderate son of a...' she stopped her trail of thought when she realized how accurate they would be. Huffily, she sat on the sofa.
'It's been three weeks. Aside from this pregnancy, it's been non-stop at work, then grocery shopping for two, then house cleaning, and now...it's as if I've hardly had time to think about this little guy...' Kagome looked down at her flat navel and sighed.
'It's like nothing ever happened and I only managed to piss of the wrong god on the right day and end up with a man who thinks every woman is a tavern wench and he should be King of Upper Earth.'
Then, the phone rang and Kagome was jolted out of her thoughts with an unexpected and irritating wail of a guitar that sounded like a radioactive cat beaten with numerous blunt objects.
'That fuckhole changed my ringtone! MY ringtone! It's as if he wants to be neutered!'
She picked up the phone and uttered patiently through clenched teeth.
"Higurashi residence. Higurashi Kagome speaking."
"Why hello, sweetums!" came Mrs. Higurashi's carefully planned amiable- elder-mother-who-bakes-a-lot voice over the phone.
"Hullo."
"Why didn't Inuyasha pick up?"
Kagome wanted to scream. She was here, barely a few weeks pregnant feeling as if she should be nearing the end of her nine months RIGHT FREAKING NOW, becoming strangely attracted to the mail delivery boy (whistling when he bent over to pick up the Business edition after she threw it out her window for the fourth time), eating what felt like four times more than the normal amount for a person eating for two, living with a humanized Cujo who thought Calvin and Hobbes was the most hysterical thing on earth...and now her mother wants to know why he didn't possess immediate control over the phone.
If he were here, Kagome thought evilly, Mommy would know because groans of pain beyond mortal comprehension would be drowning out any possible sound. As an afterthought she added: And then, I'll skewer the bastard.
"Inuyasha's at work. He works, Mom. So do I. Aren't you going to ask why I'm not at work?"
"Well, you're very busy too, honey. Tell me, what plans have you made?"
"Regarding what?"
"Regarding baby shopping, medications, a pediatrician, what classical prenatal musical exposure you plan to use, what Inuyasha's condom size is, color themes, a baby shower date, C-section or midwife, a romantic candlelight dinner in bed, baby names done CORRECTLY this time for Christ's sake, and honey, you know you can really enjoy men for a few more weeks before--"
"STOP!"
Mrs. Higurashi conceded to defeat as she delicately hung up on Kagome's intermittent screams and incoherent babbling (more to herself than anyone else).
)
End of flashback...
)
Kagome stood on the other end of the phone, switching bodily reactions between twitching and eating.
She would have to spend time with Inuyasha, or the sentence would be extended...that is, if her mother had anything to do with it.
She would have to get along with Inuyasha...if her mother was present.
She would be doomed to Inuyasha...as long as her mother was present in this existence.
She decided to call Inuyasha for a good scream.
)
"Inuyasha, did I have any messages?" Sesshomaru asked importantly from behind a large stack of papers that probably weren't half as important as he liked Inuyasha to think they were.
"Only one."
"Really? Who from?"
"Are you familiar with the name Hugh Hefner?"
Sesshomaru lifted one immaculately sculpted eyebrow and then dropped his falsely stoic gaze (in Inuyasha's mind) to sweep the fine print on a document. "Commercially."
"Are you sure about that?"
Sesshomaru paled slightly. He was actually paling in a mild fury, as Inuyasha's homosexual innuendos involving him and several celebrities and several not-so celebrities, which involved Miroku coming into his office half in tears and half in rage, soon became the talk of the office building. This seemed to be another one of those. Sesshomaru gripped the Tenseiga with a silent prayer that the demonic sword would actually consider working like a proper sword and slice the bugger's nuts off.
"Ye-es," he ground out evenly.
"Because you missed your photo shoot for Miss April!" squealed Inuyasha (in the manliest way possible) and fled.
Sesshomaru left early that day, complaining of an upset stomach.
)
Once outside, Inuyasha decided to screw returning to the building and taking beatings and went to find somewhere to eat.
Of course, legally, he should have called Kagome and used all of his spare time (this being his spare time) to morally assist her in her pregnancy but he figured women have been giving birth for eons while men were out doing...manly things...so this should be in her blood.
He neared WacDonald's when his Pound Puppy themed cell phone rang. That bitch had fucked with his ringtone. It was as if she wanted to be killed mercilessly in demon warfare.
"Hello," he barked into the phone. "Inuyasha, this is Kagome."
"Oh, having the nerve to call me AFTER you changed m--"
"Save it, stupid. You've been here for a few weeks and we have done absolutely nothing for my expected child. I know you're not working--"
"And how the fuck is that, you stalker?"
"Because, you see, my dear Inuyasha. Some of us become very tired with our routine life, so we call off any obligation for the day and decide to take a vengeful walk around the city in search of the civil slave who should be at home serving their every need instead of 900 calories fatter from the local WacDonald's. Some of us are fortunate enough to find the skiving bastard and STAND RIGHT BEHIND THEM, YELLING INTO THEIR EAR!" she finished, in his ear.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow OW! WENCH! Why did you--" Inuyasha was cut off as a bread roll was shoved into his mouth.
"You're hungry? Eat and shut up. We're going shopping." Kagome huffily walked off, patting herself on the back.
Inuyasha blushed and ran after her.
"That's a...nice skirt you're wearing, Kagome," he muttered.
"Thanks" she responded indifferently.
"Does it seem draftier than normal?"
"How so?"
Kagome gasped when she felt a quick pull near her bottom and a soft scraping of satin against her upper calves.
"Because it was caught in your 'Hello Kitty!' panties," he smiled rakishly and ran for the nearest baby store, leaving Kagome stuttering and flipping off the hormonal males in the vicinity.
)
"Welcome to Heaven's Helpers baby store! We simply live to make your little one's appearance into life a memorable and tastefully decorated experience! Now what color are you interested in?" bubbled the auburn haired middle- aged woman behind the counter. She wore a ducky hat.
"Puke green," bit out Inuyasha before Kagome had a chance to respond.
The woman's smile remained frozen and her eyes darted to Kagome for translation.
"We want something unisex," Kagome said cheerfully, ramming her elbow into Inuyasha's abdomen.
"Hmm...well, traditionally, blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Really, if you think about it, any color could be unisex...you could even try pink for boys...."
"Which explains Sesshomaru..." Inuyasha muttered darkly, his words trailing off into Kagome's mindset as an insult—never mind to whom. She hit him again.
"I was thinking about...yellow..." Kagome's eyes trailed to a sunshine and meadow themed area of the store with a nostalgia for the fields in the country she visited with her family when she herself was a little girl...with baby booties....
"YELLOW?!" screeched Inuyasha.
Kagome and the sales clerk abruptly turned to face him.
"You may as well buy the kid hiking boots and a plaid shirt and set it to grow up as a Twister champion...there is NO color as mentally destructive as...YELLOW!!!
"That would explain you, Inuyasha," snapped Kagome and turned to the woman who was eyeing Inuyasha with a thoughtful expression.
"Your husband doesn't seem emotionally prepared to have his child."
"IT'S NOT HIS CHILD!" and "LIKE HELL I WOULD BE CAUGHT IN A BED WITH THAT RINGTONE SCREWING WENCH!" came abruptly in response.
The sales clerk held her hand to her chest. Kagome thought it was a bad sign that her skin was turning purple and she was breathing slowly and heavily and her eyes were darting between Kagome and Inuyasha and she was muttering phrases about 'indecency' and 'how dare they!' but Inuyasha had seen enough of it in his father to know she needed a good smack on the back.
He gave her a good smack on the back. She fell to the floor, unmoving.
A Good Samaritan probably would have helped her. Kagome and Inuyasha were isolated worshippers of the Shinto religion, born and bred in Japan, and wouldn't know a Good Samaritan, or it's significance, if he or she had walked up and beaten them senseless with a brick. A Samaritan who did that would probably have been a regular Samaritan or personage of some American inner city, but they wouldn't have understood that either.
They left, because it seemed the sensible thing to do and Inuyasha assured Kagome that she would come to because his father, a full blooded demon youkai of unimaginable power, always did.
When Kagome was calm enough to think straight, she screamed at Inuyasha.
"YOU IDIOT! We can NEVER go back there again! That was the greatest baby store in the entire Tokyo district!"
"There're others!" Inuyasha lamely replied.
"It's incredible! Is there truly some kind of underlying current of idiocy in our country's justice system--"
"If you're referring to Miroku, I think you may be ri--"
"—or some divine conspiracy made against me because I fed Buyo too many custard pies out of sick childhood desperation that wants to make my own birthing process--"
"You fed your cat custard pies?! You DEMON!" Inuyasha attempted to rage back.
"—a freaking nightmare with YOU easily the only person in the entire world who could have crashed into me in a fast food line. You shouldn't be in public unsupervised--" "Evidently, you haven't met my brother...." Inuyasha was finding a hysterical pregnant woman something far more terrifying than any full-blooded demon force.
"—unless by a team of ruthless, blood-sucking, bone-crunching, sub- humanoids bent on destroying absolute DUDDLE-HEADS like YOU--"
"Duddle-heads?" Inuyasha was ushering the paralyzed-in-hellish-fury Kagome to a deserted corner of Tokyo for a less humiliating place to be verbally slaughtered.
"—and I? I'm NEVER EVER going to have a normal child with YOU thinking that a bottle should have little feudal forts built in it so YOU can sell it on e-bay--"
"It was only one! Your mom sent them in bulk! Don't you want some extra cash for...for...," he fumbled for words, "...baby booties?..."
That was the last straw for Kagome. She burst into tears and buried her head in his shirt.
"B-hic-baby booties," she sniffed into his rapidly dampening Polo, "that's what started all this...."
Inuyasha knew he'd have to act extra cranky to her to make up for this rather private moment, but reveled in the feeling of not being killed...and some unknown fragrance that seemed to ascend from her...he suddenly felt very calm rubbing her back....
...until she wiped her nose on his blazer.
)
I know I haven't said much other than the standard disclaimer in Chapter 1 (which still applies) but I think I wanted to get to know my reviewers for a bit.
First of all, I appreciate and honestly love (flame or not) every single review I get. I feel 'read' if that makes any sense at all.
Secondly, I try to review back...if I have anything bright to say - -;;...and do honestly try to read each of your stories (and for the large grand scale of the ones I have been able to read, I love your writing! Keep it up! I'm sure you geniuses know who you are!)
Thirdly, I didn't really comment back here because when I put my personal opinions, written as inoffensively as humanly possible (or so I think) in my Ranma ½ fanfiction "The Akane Story" AN (which is either on hiatus or discontinued depending on my wounded rage) I realized that somehow my fanfic there attracted some weird hybrid anime otakus that believed in blood sucking and idiotic riffraff that frankly would be better situated up their ass.
Fourthly, I have grown to trust you all not to be pillocks. So I'm continuing this fiction whether or not I get lots of reviews or little...because here in the Inuyasha world, fanfiction is polite!...I'm guessing...unless of course there's some kind of gigantic blatantly evil anti- anime fic...then I can see how there would be battle scars....
I tried to make this chapter longer than most for you wonderful people! Please enjoy!
...
And no offense to the color yellow. Personally, I find it quite helpful in illustration of our nation's children's books and Crayola.
)
Mrs. Higurashi thoughtfully stirred her lemon tea while appreciating the summer rainfall gliding down her windowpane. Sure, the pie was soaked and Souta didn't exactly look thrilled with his dessert being spoiled, but she had just finished a rather successful chat with her soon-to-be-un- delinquent daughter.
)
Flashback...
)
Kagome picked up another pair of mismatched socks with a bone insignia and swore to strangle Inuyasha with his own guts when he returned.
'Damn that inconsiderate son of a...' she stopped her trail of thought when she realized how accurate they would be. Huffily, she sat on the sofa.
'It's been three weeks. Aside from this pregnancy, it's been non-stop at work, then grocery shopping for two, then house cleaning, and now...it's as if I've hardly had time to think about this little guy...' Kagome looked down at her flat navel and sighed.
'It's like nothing ever happened and I only managed to piss of the wrong god on the right day and end up with a man who thinks every woman is a tavern wench and he should be King of Upper Earth.'
Then, the phone rang and Kagome was jolted out of her thoughts with an unexpected and irritating wail of a guitar that sounded like a radioactive cat beaten with numerous blunt objects.
'That fuckhole changed my ringtone! MY ringtone! It's as if he wants to be neutered!'
She picked up the phone and uttered patiently through clenched teeth.
"Higurashi residence. Higurashi Kagome speaking."
"Why hello, sweetums!" came Mrs. Higurashi's carefully planned amiable- elder-mother-who-bakes-a-lot voice over the phone.
"Hullo."
"Why didn't Inuyasha pick up?"
Kagome wanted to scream. She was here, barely a few weeks pregnant feeling as if she should be nearing the end of her nine months RIGHT FREAKING NOW, becoming strangely attracted to the mail delivery boy (whistling when he bent over to pick up the Business edition after she threw it out her window for the fourth time), eating what felt like four times more than the normal amount for a person eating for two, living with a humanized Cujo who thought Calvin and Hobbes was the most hysterical thing on earth...and now her mother wants to know why he didn't possess immediate control over the phone.
If he were here, Kagome thought evilly, Mommy would know because groans of pain beyond mortal comprehension would be drowning out any possible sound. As an afterthought she added: And then, I'll skewer the bastard.
"Inuyasha's at work. He works, Mom. So do I. Aren't you going to ask why I'm not at work?"
"Well, you're very busy too, honey. Tell me, what plans have you made?"
"Regarding what?"
"Regarding baby shopping, medications, a pediatrician, what classical prenatal musical exposure you plan to use, what Inuyasha's condom size is, color themes, a baby shower date, C-section or midwife, a romantic candlelight dinner in bed, baby names done CORRECTLY this time for Christ's sake, and honey, you know you can really enjoy men for a few more weeks before--"
"STOP!"
Mrs. Higurashi conceded to defeat as she delicately hung up on Kagome's intermittent screams and incoherent babbling (more to herself than anyone else).
)
End of flashback...
)
Kagome stood on the other end of the phone, switching bodily reactions between twitching and eating.
She would have to spend time with Inuyasha, or the sentence would be extended...that is, if her mother had anything to do with it.
She would have to get along with Inuyasha...if her mother was present.
She would be doomed to Inuyasha...as long as her mother was present in this existence.
She decided to call Inuyasha for a good scream.
)
"Inuyasha, did I have any messages?" Sesshomaru asked importantly from behind a large stack of papers that probably weren't half as important as he liked Inuyasha to think they were.
"Only one."
"Really? Who from?"
"Are you familiar with the name Hugh Hefner?"
Sesshomaru lifted one immaculately sculpted eyebrow and then dropped his falsely stoic gaze (in Inuyasha's mind) to sweep the fine print on a document. "Commercially."
"Are you sure about that?"
Sesshomaru paled slightly. He was actually paling in a mild fury, as Inuyasha's homosexual innuendos involving him and several celebrities and several not-so celebrities, which involved Miroku coming into his office half in tears and half in rage, soon became the talk of the office building. This seemed to be another one of those. Sesshomaru gripped the Tenseiga with a silent prayer that the demonic sword would actually consider working like a proper sword and slice the bugger's nuts off.
"Ye-es," he ground out evenly.
"Because you missed your photo shoot for Miss April!" squealed Inuyasha (in the manliest way possible) and fled.
Sesshomaru left early that day, complaining of an upset stomach.
)
Once outside, Inuyasha decided to screw returning to the building and taking beatings and went to find somewhere to eat.
Of course, legally, he should have called Kagome and used all of his spare time (this being his spare time) to morally assist her in her pregnancy but he figured women have been giving birth for eons while men were out doing...manly things...so this should be in her blood.
He neared WacDonald's when his Pound Puppy themed cell phone rang. That bitch had fucked with his ringtone. It was as if she wanted to be killed mercilessly in demon warfare.
"Hello," he barked into the phone. "Inuyasha, this is Kagome."
"Oh, having the nerve to call me AFTER you changed m--"
"Save it, stupid. You've been here for a few weeks and we have done absolutely nothing for my expected child. I know you're not working--"
"And how the fuck is that, you stalker?"
"Because, you see, my dear Inuyasha. Some of us become very tired with our routine life, so we call off any obligation for the day and decide to take a vengeful walk around the city in search of the civil slave who should be at home serving their every need instead of 900 calories fatter from the local WacDonald's. Some of us are fortunate enough to find the skiving bastard and STAND RIGHT BEHIND THEM, YELLING INTO THEIR EAR!" she finished, in his ear.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow OW! WENCH! Why did you--" Inuyasha was cut off as a bread roll was shoved into his mouth.
"You're hungry? Eat and shut up. We're going shopping." Kagome huffily walked off, patting herself on the back.
Inuyasha blushed and ran after her.
"That's a...nice skirt you're wearing, Kagome," he muttered.
"Thanks" she responded indifferently.
"Does it seem draftier than normal?"
"How so?"
Kagome gasped when she felt a quick pull near her bottom and a soft scraping of satin against her upper calves.
"Because it was caught in your 'Hello Kitty!' panties," he smiled rakishly and ran for the nearest baby store, leaving Kagome stuttering and flipping off the hormonal males in the vicinity.
)
"Welcome to Heaven's Helpers baby store! We simply live to make your little one's appearance into life a memorable and tastefully decorated experience! Now what color are you interested in?" bubbled the auburn haired middle- aged woman behind the counter. She wore a ducky hat.
"Puke green," bit out Inuyasha before Kagome had a chance to respond.
The woman's smile remained frozen and her eyes darted to Kagome for translation.
"We want something unisex," Kagome said cheerfully, ramming her elbow into Inuyasha's abdomen.
"Hmm...well, traditionally, blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Really, if you think about it, any color could be unisex...you could even try pink for boys...."
"Which explains Sesshomaru..." Inuyasha muttered darkly, his words trailing off into Kagome's mindset as an insult—never mind to whom. She hit him again.
"I was thinking about...yellow..." Kagome's eyes trailed to a sunshine and meadow themed area of the store with a nostalgia for the fields in the country she visited with her family when she herself was a little girl...with baby booties....
"YELLOW?!" screeched Inuyasha.
Kagome and the sales clerk abruptly turned to face him.
"You may as well buy the kid hiking boots and a plaid shirt and set it to grow up as a Twister champion...there is NO color as mentally destructive as...YELLOW!!!
"That would explain you, Inuyasha," snapped Kagome and turned to the woman who was eyeing Inuyasha with a thoughtful expression.
"Your husband doesn't seem emotionally prepared to have his child."
"IT'S NOT HIS CHILD!" and "LIKE HELL I WOULD BE CAUGHT IN A BED WITH THAT RINGTONE SCREWING WENCH!" came abruptly in response.
The sales clerk held her hand to her chest. Kagome thought it was a bad sign that her skin was turning purple and she was breathing slowly and heavily and her eyes were darting between Kagome and Inuyasha and she was muttering phrases about 'indecency' and 'how dare they!' but Inuyasha had seen enough of it in his father to know she needed a good smack on the back.
He gave her a good smack on the back. She fell to the floor, unmoving.
A Good Samaritan probably would have helped her. Kagome and Inuyasha were isolated worshippers of the Shinto religion, born and bred in Japan, and wouldn't know a Good Samaritan, or it's significance, if he or she had walked up and beaten them senseless with a brick. A Samaritan who did that would probably have been a regular Samaritan or personage of some American inner city, but they wouldn't have understood that either.
They left, because it seemed the sensible thing to do and Inuyasha assured Kagome that she would come to because his father, a full blooded demon youkai of unimaginable power, always did.
When Kagome was calm enough to think straight, she screamed at Inuyasha.
"YOU IDIOT! We can NEVER go back there again! That was the greatest baby store in the entire Tokyo district!"
"There're others!" Inuyasha lamely replied.
"It's incredible! Is there truly some kind of underlying current of idiocy in our country's justice system--"
"If you're referring to Miroku, I think you may be ri--"
"—or some divine conspiracy made against me because I fed Buyo too many custard pies out of sick childhood desperation that wants to make my own birthing process--"
"You fed your cat custard pies?! You DEMON!" Inuyasha attempted to rage back.
"—a freaking nightmare with YOU easily the only person in the entire world who could have crashed into me in a fast food line. You shouldn't be in public unsupervised--" "Evidently, you haven't met my brother...." Inuyasha was finding a hysterical pregnant woman something far more terrifying than any full-blooded demon force.
"—unless by a team of ruthless, blood-sucking, bone-crunching, sub- humanoids bent on destroying absolute DUDDLE-HEADS like YOU--"
"Duddle-heads?" Inuyasha was ushering the paralyzed-in-hellish-fury Kagome to a deserted corner of Tokyo for a less humiliating place to be verbally slaughtered.
"—and I? I'm NEVER EVER going to have a normal child with YOU thinking that a bottle should have little feudal forts built in it so YOU can sell it on e-bay--"
"It was only one! Your mom sent them in bulk! Don't you want some extra cash for...for...," he fumbled for words, "...baby booties?..."
That was the last straw for Kagome. She burst into tears and buried her head in his shirt.
"B-hic-baby booties," she sniffed into his rapidly dampening Polo, "that's what started all this...."
Inuyasha knew he'd have to act extra cranky to her to make up for this rather private moment, but reveled in the feeling of not being killed...and some unknown fragrance that seemed to ascend from her...he suddenly felt very calm rubbing her back....
...until she wiped her nose on his blazer.
)