If You Give a Boy a Lily
Chapter Three: The Crash's Aftermath
As I was rowed into the hospital on a stretcher, a wave of that sterile, stuffy hospital smell hit me, making me want to hurl. After the ambulance came the nurses and hospital officials were convinced that I had a concussion. Petunia had gotten away with a broken arm and was on her way to my father's bedside. The hospital had taken my mother in with them, but they had yet to tell me what was going on with her. It seemed as though my father had escaped the car without any broken bones, but several deep cuts and punctures.
The nurse that was helping me wheeled me into a room so the doctor could look at me. She left and I sat on the bed, waiting for the doctor to arrive.
"Miss Evans? I hear that you got in a nasty car crash. My name is Dr. Moreno," the doctor said as soon as she entered the room. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and extremely tan skin. Her rich Spanish accent was beautiful and it seemed velvety smooth, as though it was invented to make people feel better.
"You heard right. Are my parents alright?"
"Well, your sister is." I could hardly tell Dr. Moreno that I couldn't care less about Petunia's physical state. She probably could have died for all I care right now. "I can't exactly say about your parents, and even if I could, I don't think right now would be the best time since you're most likely concussed."
"So if you don't know about my parents, who does?"
"The doctor who's working on them, of course. Now lay back so I can check your head."
I complied, figuring that the sooner I did what she wanted, the sooner I would be out of here and could see my parents. Dr. Moreno checked and made sure everything was all right.
"You do have a slight concussion. I'll need you to take these pills. They'll assuage the pain and help to keep you conscious. Take them twice a day, everyday, after breakfast and before supper until they run out. By then you should be okay."
"Whatever you day, doctor. Can I go now?"
"I'd rather you stay here, but I can see how anxious you are to see your family," Dr. Moreno said.
"Thanks." I practically bolted out of the room and ran to the reception desk. "What rooms are Mr. and Mrs. Richard Evans in?" I asked the receptionist.
"Mr. Evans is in room C-119. I can't find a room for Mrs. Evans. She may have been released earlier."
That really confused me because I don't see how they could release Mum when she had what looked like two severely broken legs and a bleeding scalp. Nonetheless, I ran up to the third floor to room C-119. "Dad!" I yelled as soon as I burst the door open.
"Shut up, you little twit. The doctor said he's not doing so well. He needs rest," Petunia said. She looked close to tears. "Have you been to see Mum?"
"No…the receptionist said that she hadn't been assigned a room. She said that she was probably released. You haven't seen her since the ambulance?" I asked.
"No! I thought you would have seen her. Oh, my God, Lily. THEY DIDN'T ASSIGN HER A ROOM AND NO ONE'S SEEN HER SINCE WE LEFT THE STREET!" Petunia cried.
"I'm sure she's around here somewhere. Wheeling around in her wheelchair, maybe?" I said.
"No! Don't you get it?" Petunia yelled, sobs cutting her words in half.
"Get what?" I asked.
Then another doctor came into the room. "Hello girls. My name is Dr. Leonard Green. I have some news for you," he said with a somber face. Petunia started crying. "Your mother…she…"
"She what? Where is she?" I cried.
"She…Miss Evans, your mother didn't make it. We believe she died upon impact with the other vehicle."
Petunia started sobbing harder. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, LILY! I WOULD STILL HAVE PARENTS IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU!"
"Now, Miss Evans, I'm sure that's not true. Your sister did not cause your mother to die," Dr. Green admonished.
"YES SHE DID! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KILLED OUR MOTHER!"
Remus,
I need to take you up on that offer after all. I can't explain, but something terrible has happened. I'll be there as soon as possible. It may be tonight or it may be tomorrow. My owl, Berry, will stay with you once she gets there. I don't mean to impose, but I really have no idea how long I'll need to stay. Thank you so much for all of your help. You are such a good friend.
Lily
As I walked up to Remus Lupin's front door, I felt tears begin to run down my cheeks. I reprimanded myself for beginning to cry and I wiped the tears away. When I reached the oak door, I reached up and banged the knocker on the door as hard as I could. It was pitch black out, but that was only to be expected considering that it was around eleven o' clock at night. I would ordinarily be ashamed to be calling so late, but I knew Remus would understand.
I stepped back as he opened the door. "Hey Lily! I've been waiting for you. Come inside." I walked in through the doorway and set my bags down on the hardwood floor.
"Thank you so much for letting me stay here with you for a little while."
"Of course. I offered, and I meant what I said. Now would you mind telling me what's going on?"
I felt my eyes begin to water as I opened my mouth. "Um…I got in a car crash." Remus only looked the slightest bit confused. He knows what a car is because of Muggle Studies, of course, but I don't exactly know if he knows that a car crash is BAD.
"Um, don't mind my asking, but is that bad?"
"Yeah, it is. And as a result of this…um…"
"What happened?"
"My mum died. And my dad is in the hospital. He's not doing so well," I said, letting a few tears slip.
"Lily! I don't know what to say!" Remus said. He then held out his arms and pulled me to him. "It's okay. You can cry. I'm here."
Those words were so comforting. Remus knows me well enough to know that I don't cry. Crying is a sign of weakness, and if I am something, I am not weak. But I knew it was okay because I knew Remus knew how I felt. His father had died only two years before. So because I knew this, and because I really needed to, I cried.
I cried for two hours. Remus's shirt was soaked about twenty minutes in, so I collapsed on the bed he said was mine and cried into my pillow. Remus just sat in a chair to the side of my bed; he was watching me, and concern filled his eyes.
I must have cried myself to sleep at some point because the next thing I knew, my eyes flickered open and a woman was standing over me, a plate of cookies and a cup of hot tea in her hands. I quickly wiped my face of the tear lines and tried to smooth out my disheveled hair.
"Hello, dear. Remus has told me what happened, and I'd like to deliver my condolences. Of course, if you don't want those, I always have cookies and tea," Mrs. Lupin said.
"Thank you, Mrs. Lupin. Would you mind telling me how long I've been asleep?"
"Of course, dear. I'd say you've been asleep about nine hours. It's about ten o' clock in the morning."
"Have you been sitting here this whole time?" I asked. She nodded. "You shouldn't have! You need sleep, Mrs. Lupin," I said as I took a cookie off of the plate and a sip of the tea. It was Earl Grey, my favorite.
"No, dear, I am not the one who needs sleep. You need more sleep and some time to heal. Besides, it was a good opportunity for me to catch up on my reading. You can stay here as long as you wish. Now go back to sleep. When you're ready, come downstairs to the kitchen and I'll prepare some breakfast for you."
"Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you and Remus."
"You're quite welcome, Lily," Mrs. Lupin said as she placed the plate of cookies on my bedside table. She exited the room quietly.
I took another sip of my tea and contemplated my next move. The funeral was planned for the next weekend, and I knew I had to be home for that. I couldn't ask Remus to come with me, I knew, so I would have to make the journey alone. I felt a tear slip from my eye as I envisioned my mother's body enclosed in a wooden casket. I set the tea aside just in time, for if I had held it any longer, the vibrations from my trembling hands would have broken the beautiful china.
As tears filled my eyes, I knew there was really only one thing I needed to do before I shut myself up in this room in the Remus's house. I got out of bed and even though it was around seventy degrees outside, a bit of chilly wind hit me like a ton of bricks and goose bumps prickled over my skin. I went over to the mirror. My hair was all over the place and the tiny bumps on my skin were visible. "You look like a chicken, Lily," I said to myself out loud. Saying that, I couldn't help but feel like one as well. The fact that I hadn't gone to do this before made me feel like a coward.
Thus, I dressed, combed my hair, ask breakfast, took my pill, and then told Remus and his mother I would be back in a couple of hours, and headed out on Remus's broom for the hospital where my father was staying.
As soon as I got there, I bypassed the receptionist and went up to the room where my father had been the day before. Petunia was nowhere to be seen and my father was still sleeping, his chest rising and falling with every intake of breath. I sat at his bedside and held his hand, willing him to wake up so I could talk to him. Apparently, I didn't will hard enough because nothing happened, so I just sat there, holding his hand, for half an hour until his eyes fluttered open.
"Lily!" he said as he tried to sit up. "Where have you been? I would imagine that Pet's been worried sick about you!"
"I doubt that, Dad. So I'm guessing you heard the…news?"
Tears filled my father's eyes. I took that as a yes, but before I could say anything more, he opened his mouth to speak. "Lily, I know we're in mourning right now, but I believe that your mother would have wanted nothing more than for you to keep living your life. She just wants you to be happy. You can't go around wallowing in your sorrow the rest of the summer."
"I can't just get over it, Dad! MY MOTHER, YOUR WIFE, DIED!"
My father became stern. "I am well aware of that, Lily Marie. I know for a fact that your mother wouldn't want you to mourn her like this. And she wouldn't want you to believe she was the cause of her death either. It was an accident." When he said that, I began to cry more silent tears. "Lily, honey, you need to move on with your life. In a little less than a month, you're going back to school and you're going to be running the entire student body. They will need a strong leader, and this experience should only make you stronger. You cannot show weakness in front of them, for they will lose all respect for you."
"But if I tell them my mum just died, they'll understand, won't they?"
"Yes, they will, but I DO NOT want you using that as an excuse for being a weak leader. Now, I've been reading that Wizarding newspaper that you get every morning and there have been more and more mentions of this Lord Voldemort person. He's a tyrant, Lily. He goes around killing people of your kind just for fun. In times like these, your classmates are going to need strong leaders, not leaders that are wrought with emotional pain."
"I know."
"Then why haven't you done anything about it? I'm not saying that you need to get over this in one day, darling, but you do need to work through it as best you can before the school year starts. You need to get back on your feet, go back to work, talk to your friends. Speaking of friends, where are you staying, since you're obviously not staying at home with Petunia?"
"I'm staying at my friend Remus's house."
"Yes, I remember him. He's one of the boys that came to visit you last summer, correct?" my father asked.
This brought back so many memories. Last summer, the Marauders had paid a visit to my house. The four of them met my parents and we had a nice little chat. It wasn't really that bad. They were all very charming, especially James and Sirius, and my mother was smitten with them immediately. She had asked me several times whether or not they would be coming back anytime soon, and when I told her how much I hated James Potter, she just couldn't understand why. I tried to explain the pranks to her and how they were very mean boys; she just said that it was all in good fun. When I told her how annoying he was and how he kept asking me out, she said I should just give him a chance. "Fat chance," I had said.
Remembering this, I began sobbing violently. "Lily, dear, it's okay. It will all be okay," Dad said.
"But how can you know that? How can you know for sure that it will all be alright?"
"I just know. When my parents died, I was wrought with shock and denial, but I accepted it. Look at me, now, Lilykins. I'm fine."
I cried more. My father just patted my head and smoothed my hair. I sat there and cried for an hour and when I was done, I looked up to see tears streaming down his face as well. We hugged each other and he said, "Lily, I want you to promise me something."
"Anything."
"Whatever you do, wherever you go, I want you to promise that you will put this all behind you. I don't want you to forget your mother in any way, I just want you to remember all of the good times you had with her. Remember her laugh, her smile. I want you to be a good leader for your classmates, and I want you to promise to try and do everything in your power to protect them, your friends, and the people you love."
"I promise," I said without any hesitation whatsoever. We sat in silence for a while before the nurse came in and said that visiting hours were over and I needed to leave.
I flew back to Remus's house, trying to make myself invisible by going over trees, and went to eat lunch with him and Mrs. Lupin.