Author: Cyclone
Rating: PG
Summary: Relationships are all about compromise. Apparently.
Notes: Just a bit of fluff to wile the day away. For Kate, because I know that she misses it. And to be honest, I do too.
XxX
It wasn't that he was whipped. Far from it. He was a smart man and just knew that things were much more pleasant for everyone concerned – especially him – if he followed a few simple guidelines. Besides, being in a relationship was all about compromise, and it wasn't like the burden fell entirely on him. God knew, Monica had watched her fair share of NASCAR and eaten copious amounts of microwave pizza just because he liked it. It really was a two way street, and he liked to make sure that his side was clear and free of the little things that led to resentment when they went unacknowledged.
That wasn't to say that they hadn't experienced some little hiccups in the beginning of their relationship, because they had. There was the time he'd inadvertently taken a mouthful of her soymilk by mistake and consequently spat it all over the floor. He'd made a valid (he thought) point about how he shouldn't have to read the labels before taking a drink of milk, and after that she'd made a special effort to keep it at least two shelves away from his full-cream milk. But before the Great Milk Relocation had taken place she'd laughed her ass off at him and managed to choke out, "that's what you get for drinking out of the carton," and he'd had to bite his tongue to stop himself from pointing out that it was his milk and he could drink out of the carton if he wanted. He'd felt a little stupid standing in a pool of soymilk in nothing but his boxers, but apparently Monica had thought he'd looked cute because she'd grinned, kissed him, handed him his normal non-soy milk and promised that it wouldn't happen again. Thanks to her two-shelf rule it hadn't
So he really didn't mind the little compromises he made. Things that included, for example, not leaving the toilet seat up. "If you want to go back to living alone, John, just keep leaving it up," had been her exact words. Putting the seat down was a small price to pay for her presence. Even though logic told him it would be just as easy for her to put it down when she needed to use it as it would for him to put it up, he hadn't yet been stupid enough to put forward that argument.
Things like not using all the hot water in the mornings. He'd discovered that Monica could be surprisingly cranky if she was forced to take a rushed, lukewarm shower. Apparently what caffeine did for him, hot water did for her. Luckily she didn't mind sharing her shower time, so a couple of days a week they got up early, soaped each other up and stayed under the water until it ran cold.
Things like not taking automatic possession of the remote control. Just because they were living in his house and watching his TV apparently did not make him the remote control God. He'd been re-educated after she'd brought his attention to the fact that they'd just watched a week of nothing but news and sports and if she missed out on another rerun of McGyver then heads would roll. He couldn't see what the attraction with implausible storylines and a mullet-haired actor was, but he sat through it because it was only an hour a week. The rest of the time she was pretty flexible.
Things like not changing the message on her machine without asking permission first. Apparently, 'You've reached Monica Reyes. You can leave a message after the beep but since I'm currently shacked up with my incredibly hot and sexy partner I might not get back to you for a while. If it's important you can reach me over at his place but if no one answers you can safely assume that we're upstairs getting it on,' was not funny at all when her parents were the ones who'd heard it.
Things like not changing the radio settings in her car. Apparently that was akin to throwing down the gauntlet and declaring World War III. Monica was very attached to her pre-set stations and did not appreciate getting behind the wheel and discovering that he'd tuned in a country station. She didn't appreciate that at all.
Things like assuming that a back massage will always lead to sex. Apparently it was nice to sometimes just touch and cuddle.
Things like never introducing her as the 'ball and chain' unless he actually wanted to be flogged with a ball and chain. Apparently he was the only one who thought it was funny. That little faux pas had earned him a bruising punch to the arm and a week of dish duty before she'd deemed him sufficiently punished enough to allow him to take her out to dinner.
Things like not replacing her whale song CD with dolphin songs when he'd accidentally melted it. She'd noticed. He hadn't been able to differentiate any discernible traits between the two but apparently he was tone deaf. Apparently, also, that came from listening to country music in her car.
Things like never forgetting to tell her that he loves her. Apparently that's the most important thing of all
End.