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Why is it no one understands me? Everyone treats me like I'm evil...Like I'm a demon... Like I have no heart or feelings.
And frankly, I don't... or at least...I didn't...until I met her...
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CHAPTER RATED TEEN AGAIN. IT'S FOR MINOR VIOLENCE AND A LITTLE BIT OF LANGUAGE ON SPOT'S PART. BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME! I PROMISE!
Oh, and by the way: I deleted chapter three, because it was just an authors note. So the previously called chapter seven, is now chapter six. So everyone read chapter Seven: Some Secrets Revealed before you read this chapter. THANKS!
I'm back! So, I appologize first and foremost for the...erm... long absence. I've had alot going on at school and at home. Too many tests and stuff due. Four deaths in my family this month. Not cool at all. Too many funerals, too much crying...too much of everything except me getting work done.
So, I'm trying hard to keep the updates coming and getting reviews seems to get me back on track. I've come to the conclusion that Spot is going to...
((covers Ginny's mouth)) SHUT UP AND LET THEM READ THE STORY BEFORE I PULL A KNIFE OUT ON YOU!-Spot
((trembles)) MURDERER! ((begins to type furiously))
Better.-Spot
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Disclaimer:
I clearly don't own Newsies. I wish I did, but doesn't everyone. I do own...nothing. I own the epitime of nothing.
True...-Lawyers
Can't you go harass someone else! Theres about a million people on this site go hound them.
((leave))-Lawyers
YES! FREE FREE GINNY IS FREE!
Eh, was that a LOTR reference! Wow...
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Spot-
I raised the knife above her head and smirked. This was going to feel so good. I glanced quickly at my hand covering her mouth. I wonder if the blood would splatter on it?
It was then I looked into her eyes. I saw pure blooded fear. Fear was a terrible weakness. Everyone fears me. Why? Because I'm amazing! I'm perfect in every sense of the word. Hell, they should just make me a god. But as these thoughts spun in my mind, I couldn't help but notice something else in her beautiful brown eyes.
Understanding and love. How the hell would she understand and still love me through this! I WAS ABOUT TO KILL THE DAMN GIRL!
But she did. And that's the thing that scared me the most at this precise moment.
Unconditional love. That's what Audrey had called it. She had said that to me just an hour before she died...
I walked over to her. Guilt was the major thing on my mind. I meant only to hug her and try to appologize, but... something went wrong.
I guess she hadn't realized that was my intent. She kept stepping slowly backwards. Slowly..slowly... until... she tripped and fell. Right into the icy water. I knew she couldn't swim. Without event thinking, I jumped in. Boots and all. All I wanted to do was to talk to her an appologize. Tell her how much I loved her.
My hands searched blindly for some hair, a peice of clothing. Anthing that would indicate that she was not at the bottom of the lake.
I couldn't find a thing. I searched blindly until I was at a loss of breath. I swam to the surface. When I submerged, I felt something hot on my cheeks. Tears. I hadn't cried my whole life. The leader of Brooklyn didn't cry. But a hopeless blonde boy who just lost his lover did.
I treaded water and cried. Yes, cried.
After about twenty minutes of that, I saw a pale body float up a few feet away. No...no... NO!
I swam over to it and dragged it to the docks ladder. I flipped it over and saw a pale face. One I recognized. Audrey...
More tears. Dear gods this crying thing wasn't working. I dragged the body up the ladder. I held the lifeless body in my arms and just stared blankly at it. I hate this damned place. This damned river. I hated it all.
I looked around and saw some people running through the alleyway, and steadily towards me. It was then the realization struck me. I was a murderer. It would be counted as a homicide...
I dropped the body down and ran into the darkest alleyway I could find. Everyone would be looking for the murderer. But the murderer wouldn't be me.
When I got back to the lodging house I ran into my room and locked the door. No one could know this secret...
A knock on my door startled me half to death. I unlocked it and peaked outside. My clothes were still wet so I couldn't let anyone see me.
"Whaddya want?"
"It's me Whistler. We gotta talk about what just happened at the docks."
"Whaddya mean! Were youse followin' me, Wiss?"
"Yeah, Spot, and it's a good thing I did. Do you know how much trouble they could put you in for this!"
"Wiss, You gotta believe me when I say, I didn't kill her!"
"Sure you didn't. Then why is she dead? You were the only one with her!"
"Wiss, she fell in and drowned. I tried to save her. But I couldn't find her. You know I'm not exactly an amazing swimmer!"
Whistler grinned, despite the circumstances. Spot's inability to swim was hilarious."Did you even try to find her?" he asked, trying to get back to the present time.
"Damnit! I just told you I did!" I was getting edgy. Nervous, too. The last thing I needed was the bulls hunting me down again...
"Spot, you have to keep calm. If you don't, the whole bloody lodging house is going to hear you. And I don't think you want everyone becoming suspicious of you. First things first. Go take a shower. You reak of filth. Second, you better be thinkin' of an alliby. You know I'll back you up. I have to. Second-in-command does require that. And so does being your blood brother." Whistler smirked at me. I smirked back, grabbed a towel, and headed for the bathroom.
My thoughts were jerked back to the present by the realization of stirring in the bunk above Penni. It was Racetrack. Cursed Italian mobster...
I gripped the knife tighter. My knuckles were getting white.
Shove the knife into her! My mind screamed.
Don't do it! God, now it's contradicting itself!
Do it! There was still a side of me that wanted revenge for Audrey... But how in the world was killing Penni going to reduce the pain!
It won't. All it will do is intensify. Whistler is really getting to my head. I need to stop hanging out with him...
I pressed the knife up against her neck. Her eyes widened, yet she still wasn't completely overcome by fear.
DO IT! Half of me screamed.Shove that knife far into her neck! You know you should... My mind taunted.
DON'T DO IT! the second half contradicted the first.
DO IT! The first half howled.
"I...I can't..." I yelled to myself. The knife clattered to the floor. The sound echoed around the room until everyone was awake. Half of the lodging house was at Penni's side in a split second.
"What the hell were you going to do with this Spot!" Jack asked, holding up the knife. I winced. This wasn't going to end well.
Then, Whistler ran in. "Touch him and I'll kick your ass, Kelly!"
I smirked. Of course. My protection. Whistler was very well the only person who could beat me up...
"Whaddya doin' herah, Whistler? Don't you have something better tah be doin'? Like tellin' a folk tale tah some little kid somewhere!" Jack shot back.
"Kelly, I'm going to kill you!" Whistler strode over to Jack and punched him across the face. Jack was momentarily stunned. He couldn't believe Whistler had punched him. And it had hurt. When Jack recovered from the shock, he tried to beat the crap out of Whistler. Yet, he couldn't even get close enough to touch Wiss.
I watched silently as all of the newsies tried to gang up on Whistler. He was distracting them so I could get away. But I couldn't get away. Not without talking to Penni and explaining what had happened.
I tried to get close to her, but she was being guarded by Racetrack. Yes, I know I could kill the kid, but Gamble...she loves him. So I guess I had to spare him. I stealthily grabbed Penni's wrist and pulled her outside.
She was quiet and didn't look afraid. Just pale.
"Penni...we need to talk about what happened in there..." I whispered.
"Okay. Let's talk. Why did you do it?" she asked. How did she expect me to answer that!
"I was angry." I answered tactfully.
"The journal..." she whispered. So she knew about it...
"I never did finish reading it though." She admitted. I wanted to stab myself. She hadn't even read the journal and I was so afraid of the secrets it held...
"That's okay. It's pretty depressing anyway." I paused and looked into her eyes.
"I'm not a killer, Penni. What happened to Audrey was a complete and total accident. She simply fell in the water. And since she had an inability to swim, she drowned." I explained, sadness flooding my voice more and more with each word. Penni was quiet as she thought it over.
"So, she killed herself?" she asked. I nodded.
"Basically."
Penni sighed. "That's awful."
I nodded. It was. I had been crying about it before. Hell, I'd cry again if she hadn't been standing there.
"Spot, it's okay to love someone again. Love doesn't always end in pain." Penni whispered to me.
I thought about that long after I had gone back to Brooklyn the next day.
Love doesn't always love in pain.
It seemed so odd. I believed that love would end in pain. And that stopped me from loving again. I can't handle pain.
But...now I see... Not everything ends in heartache.
It'd be okay to love again.
I stood above the docks holding my journal and the picture of Audrey.
"Audrey," I began. I was talking to the water. But I knew Audrey could hear me. "I love you. And you know that. But... I need to let go of this pain. For once and for all."
I dropped the journal and picture into the water and watched the book sink and the picture smudge and ruin.
"I love you. With a love unconditional." I whispered to the water.
"Goodbye."
I walked quietly away from the docks and into the waiting arms of my love.
I stayed in her arms. And cried.
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Chapter end. And possibly story ending. I think I'll do an Epilogue though, cuz those are fun!
Hope everyone enjoyed/loved this story as much as I've enjoyed/loved writing it!
Um ... just because I must, I will do my final shout outs!
Shout outs:
Garen Ruy Maxwell-
VHAT? No review? Just kidding. I got emails of praise so that's good enough. hehe. I hope you liked this chapter. And speaking of chapters... UPDATE A KEY AROUND HIS NECK! I update, you update, remember? (Well, if you update Selkie Queen I'd count that as payment also) hehehehehe. I'm so evil. and insane. evil and insane. a dangerous combination, don't you think? Green suspenders are cool! R&R!
Kittykatgoil1899-
heya! No, I love the Big quotes. hehe. Cerial killer, eh? Well the serial your thinking of is 'ceral'. The one I'm thinking of is 'Serial.' hehehe. I have Reese's too. Not that I'm going to eat them. But I have them! tehe! R&R!
Double Heart Penni-
I suppose you'll have to re-read the chapter like I commanded. hehehe. I fixed it. lalala! I hope this chapter was more to your liking. I wrote it about seven times over. Okay, okay,okay, I won't use the circus thing. lol. R&R!
Gamble7-
Tis okay. At least your reading it now! that's good! I didn't say this chapter sucked. Just because you told me not to. Thanks for the compliments! R&R!
Zero-0-
I updated! tehe. I hope you liked this chapter. R&R!
CinnamonSpice-
I LOVE YOU TOO!-Mush
Mush, darling, what in the world are you doing?
Telling Cinnamon I love her.-Mush
Okay then. Since you love her, you can write her shout out. okay?
OKAY! hehe. I'm glad you liked it. I know. I'm an amazing writer. And, Spot can't kill anyone he's just too much of a sissy for that. I hope you didn't hear me say that...haha! So, I love you and...ummm... I think I'm supposed to say R&R!-Mush
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--Take the boat and swear to me never to tell the secret you know of the angel in hell.--
--GiNnY--