Disclaimer : I do not own Bleach, neither do I own the Karakura Heroes.
A/N : I got the idea from the 50th episode of Bleach. That episode is stupid but super hilarious. Go watch it. No wait, review this BEFORE you watch (or if you have watched it it'll be after) the episode.
Abducting Yuzu
by Hamsae
One shot
Kaching. "Thank you for shopping at ABC supermarket. Please come again." The sweet cashier at the counter smiled at the twins as they made their way back to their home.
"I'm so never going to help you run errands again, Yuzu." The black-haired girl carried all the food used to stock up the refrigerator at home. "Don't be that way, Karin. Afterall, it's for everyone, including you and that new girl Rukia." Yuzu gave the radiant smile she always give to people. Karin gave up trying to communicate with her dearest sister.
All of a sudden, Karin felt a sharp pain in her head. Letting go of the groceries, she fell to the floor, clutching her head in agony. "Karin! Are you okay! Oh my gosh!" Yuzu immediately held Karin, attempting to ease her pain. She didn't notice that the surroundings had become deformed.
Urahara's store
"Jinta! We've run out of strawberries! Go and buy some!" The sleazy merchant called out to his subordinate. "Aww, why can't Ururu or Tessai do that! I'm NOT going all the way to town to buy a bunch of stupid fruits!" The short redhead complained. Kisuke gave a stunning glare at Jinta, and the next moment Jinta was already half way through his journey to the supermarket.
Jinta suddenly sensed something was wrong, but didn't care. He continued strolling towards town, when turning into a corner, he got the shock of his life. Yuzu was captured by a Hollow!
"Yuzu!" Karin tried kicking and punching the demon-like monster but to no avail. Suddenly, the Hollow sprouted wings and took off into the sky. Karin pulled its tail as it flew into the sky. But then, the Hollow felt uncomfortable and shook her off. Jinta noticed this and ran as quickly as he could to reach Karin, and she landed safely on him.
Karin immediately jumped up to her feet and readied herself to follow the Hollow, but just as she was about to sprint Jinta pulled her ankle and she fell once more onto the ground. "What the fuck was that for, you idiot? Yuzu is being taken away from that moronic beast, and I'm sure you can see that!" She screamed at Jinta in a rage. Jinta stood up, brushing dirt off himself. "It's out of sight now, and you can tell that that particular Hollow is unable to be defeated with a few punches and kicks, and I have an errand to run." Jinta said calmly. "Besides, we have to erase so many people's memories, if not it'd be weird that someone just suspended into the air as if it was magic, and there would be a commotion." Karin thought about something while Jinta replaces the passerbys' memories with fake ones. "I have a plan!" Karin called out. "It's stupid but it just might work..."
"SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH... YOU! Bwahahahahahas!" The red-coated man with a frilly moustache halfway clenched his fists across his chest and laughed as though he had stroke or something. "Ok, cut! That's a wrap!" The television crew announced and the show was over.
"Oi, you!" Don Kanonji turned around to find his "acquaintances" approaching him. "Oh, my Karakura heroes! You have come back for a reunion haven't you? Where's Karakura Yellow, Karakura Pink and Karakura King?" He exclaimed with much enthusiasm. In a moment's time Karin's foot was on his already disfigured face. "We're not here for a stupid reunion, okay maybe, anyways, YUZU'S BEEN CAPTURED BY A HOLLOW!" Jinta shouted as he waved his arms like a lunatic. "Bad spirits have gotten Karakura Yellow! THIS IS TRULY BAD! Let's go and round up the rest of the Karakura Heroes!"
Jinta left called Ururu to go to Kurosaki's house to meet up. Karin detached Kon from the other two Yuzu's stuffed animals and let him wear the Karakura King suit. "Why me? I don't want to save that crazy girl who dresses me up in mini skirts and blouses! Hell no am I going to rescue her!" Kon screeched out loud. Everyone was staring at him. His whole head was flooded with sweat. 'Oh shit, I thought out loud again!' This time thinking inside his head. "Uh, uhm... Ah... I've been upgraded! Yes that's what it is! A ha hahahahaha!" He tried his best to conceal his true identity. Karin gave a sigh. "Oh well, let's just get going to rescue Yuzu!"
All 5 of them ran towards the direction the Hollow was going. "I can sense its reiatsu now! It should be close by!" Jinta told the rest of the Karakura gang. Karin sprinted faster than ever, whilst Jinta tried to catch up and both of them started an immature race. "What the fuck are you running so fast for? I'm going to save Yuzu from that Hollow!" Jinta barked at Karin. "No way! Yuzu is MY sister, and I'M going to rescue her from the clutches of that thing!" She shot back at Jinta. "Why you!" And they quarrelled all the way, and found themselves in a forest.
"Hee hee hee.. Hee hee hee..." came a voice from the forest. "Who's there!" Karin yelled. "Hee hee hee, I am but of course, the one and only, GrEAtEst Hollow of all! I am..." The same Hollow who abducted Yuzu from the streets popped out of one of the trees. "LALA!" All 5 of them sweatdropped. 'What a stupid name!' thought Kon. 'Even my retarded-like name sounds better than that!'
"SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH..." Before Don Kanonji finishes his sentence, the Hollow used its tail to smack his face, saving everyone else's energy to withstand the pain of listening to him repeating that lame line over and over again. Just then, Ururu found Yuzu who had already fainted by chance, who was actually behind Lala's tail the whole time, until it whacked Don Kanonji. "Look! It's Yuzu-chan!" she pointed towards the unconscious girl.
"YUZU!" Karin and Jinta shrieked at the same time. They glared at each other and raced (again) to Yuzu's side. But to their dismay, Lala's tail was quick enough to hit them both and push them away, landing onto the trees. "Karakura red! And.. Karakura red? Oh whatever!" Don Kanonji cried. He attempted to attack the Hollow by poking his stick onto the tail, but obviously it was futile and he got smacked once more in his face. Ururu immediately grabbed her cannon from her back and began firing at the Hollow. At the same time, Jinta grabbed his bat, readying himself to attack Lala. Unfortunately he missed and hit Ururu's cannon instead, which caused it to be smashed into pieces.
"Oh no! We're so goddamn DOOMED! Let's run away, forget about that evil girl who probably plotted this plan to kill m- us all!" Kon shrilled. The rest of his teammates stared at him. 'I'm so goddamnit DOOMED!' he thought with much fear. Then, they gave the evil smirk that seemed much too familliar. 'Oh no, not THAT.'
"Ururu!" The blur girl nodded. She grabbed Kon and squeezed him into a ball. She readied herself, as though playing volleyball, and started to serve towards Jinta. Kon dashed across the air and then, "Jinta, homerun!" And PIANG Kon went flying towards Karin. "This is the legendary Karakura ultimate-" And a rock fell on top of Don Kanonji, preventing him from finishing his words once more. "Yoshhh!" Karin cried out, and kicked Kon really hard and it hit Lala!
"Noooo! I haven't even told you who my boyfriend is!" And a bright light blinded the Karakura gang, and Lala disappeared from the face of the Earth. "Phew, that solved it." Don Kanonji reassured himself. "Yuzu!" Karin and Jinta repeated once more, and nearly flash stepped towards Karakura Yellow.
At Kurosaki's
Yuzu slowly regained conscious, and opened her eyes to find herself on her own bed. Surprisingly, Jinta on her bedside, while Karin was at the door, trying to take a peek, just in case Jinta does anything to Yuzu. AHEM "Jinta-kun, why are you here?" Jinta's face turned tomato red. "I-, uh, nothing! JustwaitingforKarintocomebackandthenI'lltakemyleave." He spoke so fast that Yuzu was stunned. Karin entered the room to call the couple down for dinner. "Oh my gosh! Have I slept for so long? It's dinner time? But, if it wasn't me, who made dinner?" Yuzu exclaimed. "Well, you see, neither dad nor I could cook, so Ururu..." Karin tried to explain, but was interrupted by Jinta trying to escape from the window.
Back at the forest
"Hello? Has no one cared for me? HELLOOOOOOO?" (Kon crying out for help after being hit, smacked, thrown, thrashed, etc. by the Karakura idiots.)
FIN.