Every Story is a Love Story
by
Draco's Daughter
Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say that this isn't mine? Only the jester belongs to me. (huggles the Jester tightly. Jester: Nyooooo! Lemme gooooo!)
Thanks everyone for reviewing and sending in your fav fairy tales! I just wanna ask who else has seen "The Brother's Grimm" yet? I loved that movie! It rocked! The jester enjoyed it too! Alright now that that shameless plug is over: This story goes out to CopperFang, luv ya!
Love to the Reviewers:
CopperFang: Thanks a whole lot! I hadn't even considered Cinderella!
Legolas's Girl9: I might take another stab at Rapunzel, but I sorta did that one for the first chapter. But since that one was a dream of mine, it might not count. Does it count? (keeps wondering for a few hours) I'd need to brush up on my LOTR history though. I scored a 3 out of 100 on my last LOTR first age test... ;P
FFAMasquerade2005: Hey, Kim, glad to see you again! I'm familiar with Puss in Boots but I don't know the story well. I might have to go pick up a copy of the book. Little Red Riding Hood could work... since you and Copperfang suggested it I might try that one next.
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Elaborate Lives
On Legolas's fourth day of his stay in Gondor, his fangirls had finally caught up with him. They had been pursuing him for the last three days, nearly catching him on the second day when he fell out of that tree but Eldarion had been his getaway excuse. Today, when they found him, he had no excuse so they got him involved in a game known as "Ride the Pony". All the players, and one PO'ed elf prince stood in a circle. One person was in the center, moving around the circumference of the circle as if they were riding a horse. Now it was Legolas's unluckiness to be chosen to ride the pony next. He tried to hide his displeasure but it was getting more and more difficult.
"Ride, ride, ride that pony. Ride, ride, ride that pony! This is how we do it!" The circle chanted. The girl in the center stopped her "pony" in front of Legolas and they began going through the motions to exchange their places. "Front, front front that pony. Back, back, back that pony. Side, side, side that pony. This is how we do it!" Thus Legolas began moving around the circle like he was riding a pony. He felt true embarrassment this time, a rare occurrence for an elf. If he could blush then he would be bright red but because he was an elf, he only wanted to get away from these insane girls and get back into the safety of his guest chamber where he could sulk as only an elf can sulk. His saving grace arrived just before he had to pick the girl who would now have to ride the pony.
"LEGOLAS!" Was the desperate call of Eldarion. Legolas perked up, anything was better than playing this insane game with these crazy girls, even telling Eldarion another Jester story.
"Thank Eru!" Legolas burst through the group of girls to great protest to grab Eldarion, slinging the child over his shoulder, and racing back to the palace faster than he ever ran during the chase of the orcs to regain Merry and Pippin. Once they reached the palace, Legolas set Eldarion down and caught his breath.
"Wow! I've never done anything like that!" Eldarion said, hopping around the elf prince, hyper as a young child should be.
"I should be thanking you, Eldarion. You saved me from those insane girls that were back there. I owe you a Jester Tale for that," Legolas replied, smiling at the young prince. Eldarion smiled too, looking up at the elf.
"Yay! I am loved!" He said happily, hugging Legolas.
"Let's head into my guest chambers, we'll be safer in there," Legolas said, talking Eldarion's hand and leading the young prince into the palace. They headed up a few fleets of stairs before reaching Legolas's guest room. The two princes went inside as Eldarion jumped on the couch and Legolas let himself gracefully fall into the chair facing it. "Now, this story is about a hobbit. You know what a hobbit is, right?" Eldarion shook his head vigorously. "Ah, you're smarter than I was at your age. Well, this story is about a certain hobbit called Frodo. Start me off Eldarion."
"Once upon a time," Eldarion began.
Once Upon A Time
In the lands of Middle-earth, in an area known as the Shire there lived a hobbit named Sam. He was the son of the old Gaffer. They both worked for another hobbit named Bilbo, but that's irrelevant information at this point in time. Now, Sam had a crush on the hobbit bar maid Rosie but never wanted to admit it. He always watched as other hobbits went after Rosie but never flirted with her himself.
"Legolas?" Eldarion began. The elf prince merely raised one eyebrow and Eldarion stopped, remembering Legolas's one rule: Never interrupt the story.
One day there was to be a great party to celebrate the 111th birthday of Bilbo Baggins. Everyone who was anyone would be there.
"Gaffer? Can I go to Bilbo's birthday?" Sam asked his old Gaffer. The old Gaffer merely smiled.
"We weren't invited Sam, I may be Bilbo's gardener but he didn't think to send an invitation," Was the Gaffer's reply. This made Sam extremely sad and so he went out into the garden to cry and plant flowers. As he was planting and crying there came a large group of bubbles.
"Your fallen tears have called to me, so here comes my sweet remedy," was the sound of a woman's voice before an arrow came and shot down said woman.
"This is MY gig fairy godmum! Hahahahahaha!" Was the laugh of the now infamous Jester as he celebrated his shot. "I did it! I did it!" Gimli then came up and smacked the Jester on the head with his axe.
"To work, you fool! There's little time for it with your horsing around!" Was Gimli's grumble. The Jester let a few tears fall as he rubbed his head where Gimli's axe made contact. He then cleared his Jester throat before holding his head high and striding into the garden.
"Excuse me, young hobbit, I'm looking for a Samwise Gamgee. I take it you are he?" The Jester asked in the most professional voice he knew.
"Well, yeah, but what do you want with me?" Sam asked, wondering if this insane man would shoot him like he had shot down the woman.
"I am the Jester, your new Fairy Godfather," The Jester replied, smiling a huge smile that indicated trouble was to come.
"He's been wanting this job for weeks, tracking fairy godmothers and seeing if their missions are done or not. You're the first test of his new magical talents," Gimli said, obviously annoyed at the Jester. "Hush Gimli, now little Samwise. You wanna go to the party, correct?" Sam shook his head. "You wanna impress Rosie who will be there, right?" Sam shook his head again. "You wanna fall in love with Rosie?" Sam shook his head. "You wanna do unspeakable things with her?" Sam shook his head again. "Then listen to me, fetch an apple, Gimli you locate a squirrel, and I'll sit here and look pretty!" The Jester announced, clapping his hands as the two set off to locate their things and the Jester sat on the fence and did exactly like he said he would do.
"Legolas, why does the Jester wanna be Sam's Fairy Godfather?" Eldarion asked.
"It's been his fondest dream since he was a little elfling," Legolas replied, wiping a non-existent tear from his eye.
So thus Sam returned with the apple and Gimli came back with a very ferocious squirrel. The Jester clapped his hands merrily and stood.
"Emkay, now I say the magic words, Bibbity-boobity-boobies!" The Jester said, waving his hands over Sam's apple. It shook before turning into a carriage just the right size for a hobbit.
"Well, that turned out better than what I thought it would," Gimli commented. The Jester smiled before it set in then scowled at the dwarf a few minutes later.
"Hey now! Don't be dissin the elf's power! I could turn you into a toad if I wished," The Jester replied. "Now I say the other magic words: Abrakabbra!" He waved his hands over the squirrel and it turning into a fine white pony for the carriage.
"Awww! I love him! I shall call him George!" Sam said as he hugged the pony's nose. Gimli hitched the pony to the carriage while the Jester thought for a moment.
"Carriage, check, pony, check. What's missing? Oh yeah," The Jester waved his hands over Sam and the garments he was wearing turned into a fine suit for the party. Fine wooden clogs appeared on Sam's feet.
"Umm, Mister Jester, sir. Us hobbits don't ware shoes," Sam said, pulling on the Elf's belled clothing.
"Hm, that's a problem, well. If we want this fairy tale to work out, you have to ware the clogs, no ifs, ans, or buts," The Jester said, crossing his arms.
"Alright, just this once then," Sam said climbing into the carriage.
"Oh yeah, one last thing. Be back here before midnight because in the Fairy Godfather handbook it says that's how long my magic is supposed to last. Don't know why," The Jester said.
"Well, that's not very fair, now, is it?" Sam asked.
"Hey! I don't make the rules, I just follow 'em," The Jester said, putting his hands up in a defensive gesture.
"Well, go and have some fun then. Bring us back some cake," Gimli said before giving George the pony's rump a slap. The carriage lurched off at a steady pace
"You're right, that was hilarious to get that little hobbits hopes up. I wanna do it again some day!" Was the Jester's merry statement.
"Let's go, we've a long way to go to get home," Gimli said before both started trogging off in the opposite direction from where they had sent Sam.
So thus Sam arrived at Bilbo's party in style. Nobody recognized him for both the suit and the clogs. Everyone stood in silence as he stepped out of the carriage. Slowly he walked up to Rosie, a new confidence within him. They then began to dance and dance and dance. They danced right though Bilbo's speech and disappearance but when the clock began to strike Midnight, Sam ran. Thus slipping one foot out of the clogs the Jester had given him. He nearly jumped into the carriage and raced off. Unfortunately, midnight struck and the carriage was once more an apple and the pony was a squirrel. Sam gave a heavy sigh and headed on home.
A few days later, Rosie set off on a personal quest to find the owner of the clog. She stopped at every hobbit hole to find the owner. Merry and Pippin both tired to squish their feet into the clog but it was a bit too small for them. Frodo attempted as well but it was a bit too big. Finally Rosie came to Sam and when it fit she knew she had the right hobbit.
A year or so later they were married and started having kids as all hobbits do. The Jester was never seen around the Shire again.
"Emmmkay, so what's the moral?" Eldarion asked, obviously bored by the non-action ending.
"Uh, we all lead Elaborate lives?" Legolas suggested. Eldarion nodded his head in agreement.
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I know, boring, eh? I was running out of couples to do, now I'm going to go back and start over again with Arwen and Aragorn. Happy Labor Day to my readers in the U.S.!
Please keep giving me whatever fairy tales you love!