Title : Trick or Treat
Author: TheMadPuppy
E-mail: themadpuppy85 AT yahoo DOT ca
Permission to archive: Yes, just tell me!
Category: Romance
Genre: Hetero
Rating: M for sexual innuendos
Summary: It's Halloween, even in Gotham City. "Trick or Treat, Puddin'?" Joker X Harley, One-Shot
Keywords: Joker, Harley Quinn, Halloween
Spoilers: None really. After Mad Love and their many adventures.
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman nor make money out of this. It's only for my pleasure and yours.
Author Notes: This is a short, light one-shot for Sno-Chan, who requested a Halloween-themed fic. Enjoy!
TRICK OR TREAT
"Mo, you'll be there."
"Right, Boss."
"And Cur, you'll be there with Harl—oh, wait, damnit, she isn't there."
"Who is Harl, Boss?"
He repressed a sigh. The problem, really, with new henchmen, is that you have to explain everything to them—even the obvious facts, like who he was sleeping with.
"Harley Quinn, you dumbass" cut Mo, "Boss's girlfriend!"
"Oh", replied the definitely slow-witted man. "She left you, Boss?"
Should he laugh at the ridiculous idea or hit the guy for having suggested it?
He opted for the later. He was enough annoyed as it was—where was Harley when he really needed her? Training the recruits was her job now, not his!
CRACK!
As Cur screamed, holding his bloodied broken nose, the Joker's voice thundered over the small group.
"Listen closely you shits, 'cuz I'll only say this once. Harley never leaves me—I ditch her. Clear?"
"Crystal clear, Boss" nodded the terrified goons, willingly forgetting the fact that if he got rid of her, he shouldn't complain that she wasn't there.
Because, you know, it created the absurd impression that he missed her.
-x-x-x-
As strange as it may sound, Halloween wasn't such a treat for the Joker: every amateur chose the holiday to pull off a crime—and sure there were enough of them to keep the Bat occupied the whole night. In short, it was no fun; and we all know that if the act is boring, then it's not worth the effort of being played in the first place.
But that doesn't meant he did nothing—after all, there was something gleefully morbid and warm at the same time at having the whole town looking like him. So, just to help the crowd have a real scare, he decided to put a few smiling, Smilex-breathing Jack-o-lanterns in Gotham's Park; kids just loved the place, and what wouldn't he do to keep the little monsters happy?
Sadly, he wouldn't be able to enjoy the show; but knowing it would annoy the hell out of Batman was enough for the time-being. He would savour it in the upcoming newspaper, that is, if his useless new henchmen were able to at least do that right.
In the meantime, he could afford some sleep—or so he thought before opening his bedroom's door. There was his Pumpkin Pie, naked, on her stomach, sprawled on his bed, a gun in the left hand and a lollipop in the other.
"Trick or treat, Puddin'?"
Trick or Treat-End
End Notes
A very nice ending picture, isn't it? (laughing) Inspiration struck at the oddest hour (1:00 am!), and I just wanted se badly to write something for Halloween!
This piece reminds me a lot of Puddin's Girl, among other things because we leave them as the mood becomes spicy (not that I didn't tried to make it longer! But it just got awfully fluffy instead of dark and sexy, and I swear I'll die before posting JHQ fluff –shudders-).
So here it is. Hope you enjoyed, and happy Halloween!