A/N: I'm sorry if I have taken long to update. I am truly sorry. I wish that I could get my Internet back up, but anyway. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and I hope that I could get them (meaning future chapters) to you as quick as possible.

Second Best Part XII

"I see your awake," Snape said as he walked in. He was very serious, though that was something normal, but there was something different about him. He seemed unwilling to turn his gaze in her direction. He was standing in the threshold looking around the room as if he was searching for something. He than walked over to her bedside, all the while staring at her nightstand, not turning to look at her not even once. "Has Turtle come in to give you your Potion?" he asked as he stared at the vial next to her bed.

"Yes he has," she responded as she stared at him. She wondered why he was not looking at her. He merely nodded and turned on his heel and walked over to the door. When he reached the threshold he seemed to remember something and he turned around.

"Lupin will be coming in three days to fetch you. He will be taking you to see Lucius," he said in his usual, silky, velvety tone. He than turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Luna lay in bed doing nothing for a couple of hours, trying to distract herself while she sat. She remembered that she had a book on her nightstand and than decided to grab the book and begin to read. She read the first couple of chapters when she got bored. She wondered how Snape could possibly read such books. They weren't very interesting. As she lay there thinking about nothing in particular, she remembered about Snape's journal, which she still had tucked beneath her mattress.

Luna stood from the bed and sat on the floor next to the bed. She reached under the mattress and started feeling around for the black leather bound journal. She soon found it and pulled it out form where it was. As she sat, leaning against the bed for support she opened it to the last page. As she looked down at the date she remembered that day perfectly. That was the day that she had talked to Snape and he had told her that she was not second best to Hermione. She found it slightly strange the fact that her name was the very first thing written on the page.

Lovegood has a thing for Potter. If that just doesn't put the icing on the cake. What an annoyance that is. I thought that Lovegood, as strange as she is, would never fall in love with anyone. Furthermore I would have expected much more from her than for her to fall for THE BOY WHO LIVED. Oh well, it is disappointing to see that she is like other girls in that aspect.

I wouldn't have expected that this would be my reaction to finding out Lovegood is in love with someone. I would have thought that I would at least be able to remain indifferent towards it, but to feel the way I feel, it's strange. What has Luna turned me into? She has caused me to relive the most horrible feeling that I have ever felt. This feeling that I can find no proper name for. My heart is aching, my head is spinning at a dangerous rate with thoughts that not only cloud my mind but darken it with gloom. I never knew that you could feel this much pain and suffrage in one's life. Through all the hardships that I have lived through, none of the emotions that I have ever felt are as strong or as damaging as what I am feeling right now.

Could it truly be that I have fallen in love with Luna Lovegood? Is that the reason that I am suffering such pain now? Oh, dear Merlin no! I cannot be in love! How could this have happened to me? To me! I who guard my heart and soul with bitterness, sarcasm and scorn; I who have never allowed myself to even think of such as idiotic thing as falling in love; I who am completely incapable of ever receiving such from anyone; there is no conceivable way that I should feel this for anyone. Especially not for a sixteen-year-old girl who is most likely a raving mad lunatic.

And if this that I feel is love then let me tear out my heart and no longer feel this horrid emotion. This emotion that makes me incapable of thinking of anything other than her beautiful blue eyes, of her beautiful smile and lovely golden hair. Let me no longer think of her sitting at her desk behind a cauldron, daydreaming like always. I do not wish to feel this, especially knowing that she will never love me in return and that she loves he that I detest so much. I cannot bear the fact that she loves and suffers for him. I cannot live the remainder of my days merely wondering about her life. I want her to leave and depart from my life as soon as possible. I do not care for the hole that her departure shall make, just let it come and let me live the rest of my days as I always have, alone and dead in life.

Luna's eyes where wide open as she finished. She could not believe what she had just read. PROFESSOR SNAPE, in LOVE with HER? That was inconceivable and yet there it was, in his handwriting. He had poured his heart, and suffering soul into the last page of his leather bound book in miniscule and cramped handwriting. Luna could not believe that she could cause such a feeling in someone, especially in SNAPE. Not that she believed that Snape was incapable of falling in love, she believed him capable of that, but not with her. She did not know what could possibly have caused Snape to fall so hard for her.

At that moment Luna felt pangs of guilt for she had just read what was in his heart. It was one thing to read about the bet that he had with Harry and about his day, but it was a completely different thing to peer into what was causing turmoil in his soul. She felt like a trespasser. She could not bear the thought what she had just done. She knew what he felt for her and she knew the pain that she was causing him. Not only that, but he didn't know that she knew. He didn't know that his personal journal was in her possession. She felt terrible; there are no words that would describe how low she felt.

As Luna sat on the floor and stared at the page in the leather bound book she could hear the thud of boots in the hall walking in the direction of her room door. It was than that she knew that Snape was coming to check on her, because the footsteps that she heard where much too heavy to belong to the light feet of a house elf. She quickly tucked the book between the mattresses and she got off the floor. She than threw herself on the bed and through the covers over herself. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep; she was not ready to speak to Snape. Not only would she felt guilty for reading what was in his heart, but she also did not want to explain to him why it was that she had gone out the previous night. Although, he had not asked before, she figured that he would eventually.

She closed her eyes and paid close attention to the footsteps. She heard as he walked over to her bedside and stood there for a moment. "Asleep once more? My, isn't she a sleeping beauty," he said before turning away and walking out of the room. His last statement was not meant as a compliment, she knew by the tone of voice that he used when he stated it. It was more of a reference to the old story of the sleeping princess that refused to wake up because she was cast under a spell that could only be broken by the kiss of a prince.

Luna opened her eyes and took in a deep breath. As she sat there staring at the ceiling, trying to sort out her thoughts she remembered what Snape was researching. It was than that it all made sense to her. She had found Snape making investigations about the Love potion and the antidote of Love Potions. He was trying to figure out how to make an anti-love potion. So that he could fall out of love with her and be able to stop feeling all of the things that he was feeling.

Luna didn't think that it was possible to create such a potion. How can one simply erase a feeling so strong? It was impossible. And even if he would be able to create the potion, would not the potion only be temporary. After all humans have the ability to love and therefore, he erased his feelings for her, would not spending time with her bring those feelings about once more? She figured that to make it at all possible for him to no longer feel love for her was for him to create a potion that would enable him to not feel love period. For him to feel love for nothing would be the only way out, in her opinion.

She rubbed her head as she could feel a migraine coming on. She rolled to her side and tried to stop thinking. She figured that at the moment thinking would solve nothing. Besides she really could do nothing about Professor Snape's predicament, even though she felt completely guilty about causing him so much pain. Luna wondered if perhaps offering Snape a hand would help. Would that justify anything at all, or would it simply cause him pain. She than wondered if her staying at his manor was possibly causing him any pain.

Luna turned to look out the window and she could see that the sky was getting dark. She figured that it was perhaps already six or possibly even seven in the evening. She turned away from the window, as there was nothing in particularly interesting to be looking at. At that moment a House elf came in with dinner. "Miss Lovegood must be eating something. You have not eaten in days and you must now eat something," she said as she walked over. As she came closer Luna could see that it was Honey.

"Hello Honey," she said as the house elf placed the tray of food on her lap and sat up on the bed. Honey looked into Luna's eyes and offered her a smile.

"You must eat something Miss Lovegood. You have had us so very worried," Honey said as she looked at her. Luna nodded and picked up her spoon. She was not very surprised by the fact that she was going to be eating soup. She took a spoon full in her mouth and was glad to find that the soup was not too hot and not too cold. It was pleasantly warm and Luna could feel her entire body warm up.

"Honey, do you know if Professor Snape is perhaps angry with me?" Luna asked as she looked at the elf and when she was finally able to speak. She than proceeded to shove more food in her mouth because she was so famished, not that she shouldn't be because after all she had not eaten in a great while. She looked in the elves eyes that where twinkling like stars and a grin came over her small face.

"Master Snape is far too happy that you are alive and well to be angry with you," Honey responded. Luna nodded and continued to shovel soup in her mouth. It was than that Luna realized that she was eating in the bedroom, which Snape had said he wouldn't allow. She looked up at Honey.

"Doesn't Professor Snape not want me eating in the bedroom?" she asked as she looked into her eyes.

"This is an exception for you are still not well enough to leave bed. He himself ordered me to bring you some soup for you to eat in bed," Honey responded. "Did you really expect him to allow you to go down in your current state? The manor is not a very warm place and you could easily become sick once more."

"I guess not," Luna said as she took in the last couple of spoonfuls of soup. "Done," she announced when she was finished. Honey merely smiled at her and picked up the plate. She than scurried away and pretty soon came back with another plate of soup. "What's this?" Luna said as the plate was placed in her lap. Luna sighed and as she was not yet full she continued to eat. Honey merely watched with utter joy on her expression. "Okay I'm done, but don't you run off and get me another plate. I've truly had enough now," Luna said as she looked at the elf when she finished her second plate.

"Well at least you ate something," Honey said as she looked at her. Luna nodded as Honey grabbed the plate and scampered away.

TBC….