Title: Life Part 4

Author: Jeep

Category: Drama/Agnst/Maybe more lol

Disclaimer: Not mine.

It had been a long few months; things seemed to be flaring up between both Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir. They had seemed to avoid each other every chance they got.

Well at least to Elizabeth it had seemed that way. John would avoid her in briefings, only speak when necessary, and never seek her out in off hours.

Not that they had off hours really.

She missed him.

And what saddened her the most, he did not return the same feelings.

Looking away from the window she closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She had to stop this before it got out of control.

Who was she kidding it was already out of control.

When she finally returned to work, she noticed that said distraction was pacing outside her office door. These days she had no idea what is going on with him. There are times where he completely ignored her, and there were days when she caight him looking at her.

But when she called him on it, he always would make excuses and walk away.

"Dr. Weir, are you okay?" Carson asked as he walked right past John and into her office, "You seem a bit…"

The door had closed behind Carson, she looked over his shoulder and saw Sheppard standing there with this look of concern on his face. He was worried about her, she could tell by the fleeting look in his eyes.

Turning her attention back to Carson, "Yes Carson, I am fine."

"Forgive me, but I think you should take a break for a little while."

She knew he was right. A nap could be a good thing, considering she hasn't slept well in months and it was starting to show.

"Alright Carson, you win." She set the pile of paperwork down on her desk and looked up at hi

"That's it?" He asked shocked that she would have given up that easily. "I don't get an argument?"

"No Carson, not today you don't" She patted him on the shoulder. "Major Lorne."

"Yes Ma'am" Was his response over the ear piece.

"I will be in my quarters for now."

"Yes Ma'am."

John watched as she shut her computer down and left her office. After hearing the exchange over the radio, he wasn't sure why she hadn't told him what was going on. The look of hurt was plastered on his face as she walked by him, Carson following her.

"Doc," John reached out to him, "What's going on… is she okay?"

"Aye, she's just tired son. The stress from over the past few weeks…"

"Yeah I know. Maybe I should…"

"I don't think that's a good idea John." He looked him squarely in the eye, "I think you have been part of the reason why she is like she is."

"But I think I should…"

"I am telling ya John, leave her be."

John just stood there, not knowing what to say or do. 'What did he mean by that?'

With a knowing look, Carson continued, "She needs some time alone, without you. Did you ever think that the reason Elizabeth is making herself ill is because of you?"

Sheppard looked down at his boots, finding them worn and tattered. 'Maybe that's what she feels like? Worn and tattered. I did that.'

"Yeah son, I think you are getting it now." Carson told him with a gentle squeeze of the shoulder.

"I did this."

"I think you might have had a hand in it yes."

Carson then walked away from him, leaving Sheppard with his thoughts.

With a quick look around the control room, he noticed everyone was staring at him. He closed his eyes and shook his head quickly, "Back to work people."

Fate found Sheppard walking around the city, he had his hands shoved into his pockets and he was watching his feet as he walked. Thoughts seeping through his head like wildfire.

He had hurt Elizabeth, whether it was intentional or unintentional, she was still hurt but what ever actions had taken place.

Was it because they had seemed to grow further apart over the last few weeks, hell months? He wasn't even sure why, or what had happened anymore.

So much had happened, his near death experience with the Hive ship and the puddle jumper, and the numerous other things that have happened since then that made Dr. Elizabeth Weir, Commander of Atlantis, double think everything, every decision that she has ever made. And most of all, made her shy away from everyone.

Sighing, he stopped in his tracks on his lonely path through Atlantis. This was all his fault. Carson was right, maybe she was better off without him. How could he hurt Elizabeth like he did.

He…he loved her.

This thought normally would have made him smile, but right at this moment, it did nothing but bring more guilt into his already dim picture.

As he continued walking he made his way back to his quarters, not knowing where else to go.

A while later, he heard his radio click to life, "Colonel Sheppard?"

"Yeah Doc?"

"Can you come to the infirmary for a moment?"

"Sure Doc, I'll be right there."

When he arrived, he noticed Elizabeth sitting on one of the beds, when Carson motioned him to his office.

"Doc?"

"Colonel, I am putting Elizabeth on medical leave for the time being."

"Okay…why?"

"Colonel…Dr. Weir has been through some things here that have caused her undo stress. Her body is reacting to this in several different ways."

"Like?"

"Like, she is not getting any sleep, and when she does nightmares plague her, she is having headaches… Look Colonel, she can not keep going like she is now, it could do a lot more damage."

"Alright Doc, what now?"

"I recommend a vacation if we were back on earth."

"We aren't on earth Doc."

"Yes I know, so I am recommending we send her to the main land or back with the Deadulas for a few weeks, when it arrives in a few days."

"Are you sure that is a wise thing Doc, a few weeks?"

"Aye, I am sure Colonel."

John sat down in one of the chairs in Carson's office, and closed his eyes. This was definitely all his fault.

"Listen lad, this isn't your entire fault. And I am positive that after this vacation, Elizabeth will be just fine."

"How could I do this to her?"

"You did not intentionally do anything John. It's life here; we all do what we have to do, to protect this place, to protect earth and each other."

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled and stood up, as he turned around he watched her sit on the bed out in the infirmary.

"John, please…don't do this to yourself."

"To late Doc."

As he walked out of the office, and past Elizabeth, he looked right at her, mumbled a "I'm sorry" and left the room, leaving Elizabeth wondering what was going on.