Life 8

Author: JeepNY

Category: Angst

Summary: When things couldn't get any worse

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and SGA things.. but Lienna is mine 

A few days later

Carson and Rodney had flown back to the mainland to check on Elizabeth, to find her getting a little stronger. As they spoke to the towns people, they told him she was attending meals, and walking around more.

She spoke triumphantly about the meditation techniques that she was taught, and how they relaxed her to the point where she could sleep at night. Elizabeth told them to relay the message to Teyla and upon her return she was looking forward to learning more from her about this.

Elizabeth had asked about the city, Carson responded that everything was running smoothly, not wanting to worry her to much. Rodney was typical Rodney in that matter, and complained as much as he could about how Sheppard was handling things.

With Rodney it was always something. But he would stand by your side till the end if need be.

No one had attempted to ask her if she had made any headway on any of her issues that were jumping around in her head, both Carson and Rodney had figured that maybe that was better for Teyla to attempt that then them.

Men.

The fact was that she felt like she was making some headway. She knew that she loved him, that maybe lately it seemed they have been chasing what times resolved, still hiding safe behind crumbled walls.

Did she want to hide anymore? Did she want her screams to be heard?

This conclusion never will end. Her pride with his kiss, even angels can't defend.

She knew that being here, away from everyone on Atlantis, watching the families, the children play, she knew that she wanted more then just what Atlantis had to offer.

She always believed that life went hand and with compromise, and that there was a lesson in everything that happened. So what was the lesson here?

Was it that this was the place that she would find happiness, in what seemed like 6million light years away from everything she had once known? Was it supposed to prove to her that she could run a city and have a life?

She were moments where she knew exactly what she wanted to do, and then the next moment she had no clue.

Why couldn't this be easier?

But her mood had improved somewhat, well on most days. There were times still at night when she woke up, with this feeling of utter loneness, and sadness the tears just started and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

It was especially hard after Carson and Rodney usually left for Atlantis. She wanted to go back with them. But also knew that she was not strong enough to go back with them.

She had to get over these feelings of dread every time someone got hurt, or that she had to send them into a dangerous situation.

It was no way to run a city.

Those were the thoughts that ran through her head as she sat after evening meal outside her cabin, watching the sun slowly set over the night time sky.

"Such deep thoughts for the end of the day my dear."

Elizabeth turned around to see Lienna standing behind her. She had soon learned that Lienna had the same sort of feelings as Teyla, where she could connect with people, and know their thoughts. Elizabeth could not hide from her.

"I am okay Lienna, care to have a seat?"

"Troubles of the heart are never just okay my dear, especially when they eat away at your soul."

"Let me ask you, do they ever stop eating away at you?"

"No my dear, but it is in the way you handle and deal with matters of the heart, which make it harder for them to steal you away."

Well that was easier said then done, Elizabeth thought to herself.

"So how do you love, how do you love, when the angels can't sing, and your world is still?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

"The space where you've been living, has gifts you've never given am I right my dear?"

"Yes. But how do you know?"

"I know a lot of things."

"I did not mean to insult you."

"I know my dear, no offense was taken."

The were silent for a moment, "The evening sky is beautiful tonight."

"I agree."

"There once was love thrown into your room, but you never knew, and a calendar of days just for you, but you never knew, never knew no. And the truth that you'll find will always be the truth you hide."

"That's beautiful Lienna."

"It is the truth Elizabeth. Please be careful Elizabeth with your heart."

At that moment, it all seemed to clear to her. Life, love and everything else in between.

But did he feel the same way?

That night she dreamed of John and of all the characteristics that made him 100 John Sheppard.

She awoke with a start, something was wrong. She knew it in her soul. She had a thin layer of sweat, and her stomach felt as if it had a knot the size of Atlantis in it.

Meditation, maybe that would help, and if she did not hear anything from Atlantis by the time she was done or the feeling did not go away, she would call home.

Home.

That is what Atlantis had become to her. After a year of feeling displaced, it was now home to her, and something that she would always carry with her, forever.

She sat by the side of the lake, the sun was slowly raising, cross legged and eyes closed. Elizabeth cleared her head and focused on the gentle sounds of morning.

After an hour, she felt no better and not focused on anything but her worry about Atlantis.

"Good morning Elizabeth."

"Morning, has there been any word from Atlantis this morning?"

"Elizabeth, has there been a reason for Atlantis to contact us?"

"I hope not, is Lienna around?"

"Yes, she is in her cabin."

"Thank you."

She made her way across the village to Lienna's cabin and knocked on the door.

"Come in my dear."

"Lienna, I woke this morning with…"

"I know my dear, things are not well."

"What happened do you…"

"Not the details no, but you need to contact Atlantis my dear."

With that Elizabeth broke into a run towards the stargate. When she reached it, Elizabeth was out of breath, and he body had ached. But she had to dial home; she had to know what happened.

Her stomach had grown into a bigger knot, if that was at all possible.

Something was defiantly wrong.

As she waited for the gate to open, she got her IDC ready to send through.

She stood and waited, and waited.

The nausea was moving up her throat, god what was wrong.

"Atlantis this is Weir, come in please."

After some static there was finally a response. "Weir, this is Atlantis, I am sorry about the wait."

"What happened Atlantis?"

"Ma'am, I think you need to come back asap."

"Noted, open the shield, I am ready."

"Good Ma'am we need you."

That was the last thing she heard before she stepped through to kayos.