Somewhere I Belong

Chapter Two

A/N: Thank you to middiegurl08 and wItHouT a tRacEfReAk for your reviews! They are very appreciated and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Sam mindlessly flipped through the channels on her television, noting that there wasn't anything really entertaining on in the daytime. Thankfully, there was a knock on her door that was characteristic of Danny. "Hey." She gave a small smile as she opened the door.

"Hey." He replied, coming into her apartment and making himself comfortable on the couch.

She glanced at her watch. "The pizza should be here soon. You want something to drink?"

He cringed slightly at her wording. Yes he did want something to drink, but he couldn't be honest with her. He wouldn't drink in front of anyone he knew, especially not Sam. Plastering a smile on his face, he nodded. "Do you have any soda?"

"Sure." She disappeared into the small kitchen and came out a few seconds later with a soda for him and some water for her. "Thanks for coming over."

He took the can from her and gave a small smile. "No problem. I wasn't doing anything important anyway." Opening the can, he took a big drink and, as the caffeinated beverage slid down his throat, imagined that it was something stronger. Tricking himself into believing that the soda contained alcohol seemed to calm his nerves and satisfy his urges. "So why did Jack give you the day off? I would have thought that you two would be bombarded with paperwork since you're the only two that can work right now."

"Oh believe me, we are. I was surprised Jack when gave me the day off too." She took a drink of her water and then stared into the bottle. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

He didn't like the vibe he was picking up from her. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

"Nothing's wrong…but there is something going on with me that I think you should know about." She looked up from the bottle. "I originally wanted Martin to know first, but that may not happen for a while and this sort of news needs to shared."

"So this thing is serious?" He didn't like the way this conversation was going. With Viv's heart problems, the shooting, and Martin's coma, he couldn't take any other bad news.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I don't know exactly how to say this so I'm just going to spit it out. I'm pregnant."

Danny had unfortunately chosen that time to take a drink of his soda. When Sam announced her pregnancy, the soda in his mouth was projected all over the place. Choking, he said, "You're what?"

"You heard me. I'm pregnant." Sam replied quietly, grabbing a handful of tissues and cleaning up the soda that was now on the floor.

"Yeah, but how? I mean, I thought you and Martin were careful and stuff…"

"We were," Sam replied, "but there was this one night that we weren't. I guess one night is all it takes."

"Wow." He was shocked. Sam and Martin were going to be parents. His thoughts centered around Martin. He didn't know that he was going to be a father, and wouldn't until he woke up--if he woke up. This child was just another reason why Martin didn't deserve to be the one hurt. It should have been him in the coma right now and Martin should be the one sitting here with Sam, finding out about her pregnancy.

"Wow is right." Sam echoed, drawing Danny out of his reverie. "I never pictured myself having children; I never wanted them and always thought it would be a bad idea."

"So in the past you've never wanted children." They had never talked about whether or not she wanted children, but he had always guessed that she didn't. Now that she really was pregnant, he was almost afraid to ask his question. "And what do you think about children now?"

She chuckled and gave him a smirk. "Well, it's still a bad idea." The smirk then left her face and was replaced with a solemn look. "But this child is a part of Martin, and I can't discard it like an old newspaper. I don't want to discard this child. I have to have this child. I'm probably going to end screwing up this child's life, but I guess that's why there are therapists in the world. Who knows, maybe I won't be the worst mother in the world."

Danny let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding. While he supported a woman's right to choose, he wouldn't have been happy if Sam chose not to have the baby. He reached out and touched her arm. "I think you'll be a great mother. If there's anything I can do, I'll be glad to do it. Uncle Danny is at your service." They both chuckled at that, but for Danny, that comment brought him back to another time.

Danny walked into the living room of the house ahead of Martin. "You know Martin, I see you and Sam in a place like this." Although Martin shook his head as if to tell him to shut up, he continued anyway. "I do. Barbecuing out back with the kids, Uncle Danny coming over to shoot some hoops…"

Martin just grinned. "Oh I've seen your hook shot. You better start working on it now."

Never one to let someone have the last word, Danny added, "ah, I'm unstoppable and you know it."

Thinking of that memory only hurt him more and piled on more guilt. He missed his best friend and could only imagine what Sam was going through. If Martin didn't wake up, Sam would be left to raise this child as a single parent and Martin might never get to hold his child. He couldn't think about that though. Martin had to be ok. "Who else knows?"

"Just you and Jack. I haven't told Viv yet, and well, Martin obviously doesn't know." She wiped her left eye in an attempt to block the tears that threatened to fall.

"He's going to be ok." Danny consoled her, bringing her into a hug.

She allowed Danny to hug her and started to sob quietly. "His doctor says that the fact he hasn't woken up yet isn't a very good sign. They don't seem to think he's going to wake up anytime soon."

"Doctors have been wrong." He pointed out. "Give it some time. It's only been a week."

"I want to believe that everything will be ok." She pulled away from him and wiped the tears away. "I just…don't know what to think or feel anymore. Everything around me is changing and I don't know how to deal with that. Even if Martin does wake up, my life's never going to be the same again."

"No it isn't. But that doesn't mean that everything won't turn out ok."

She eyed him suspiciously. "You really believe that?"

"Of course." He lied with a big smile. The truth was that he didn't think anything was going to be ok—at least not anytime soon. Thoughts of alcohol and how nice it would feel to drink his problems away dominated his mind again. Even though he knew that his problems couldn't be solved with alcohol, he needed to escape. He needed to feel free, and alcohol could give him that feeling for a short time. This news of Sam's pregnancy only added huge amounts of guilt onto the massive layers of guilt he already felt.

After hearing a knock on the door, Sam got up. "Pizza's here." She moved to open the door and quickly paid the delivery guy. After paying and giving a nice tip, she looked at Danny and noticed that he was deep in thought again. He seemed like he was dealing with a lot and she realized that she needed to do something soon or he might do something he'd regret. It was obvious to her that he felt guilt over what happened to Martin and, to a certain extent, blamed himself for the shooting. To her that was ridiculous, but Danny was the kind of sensitive person who took guilt upon himself needlessly. "Hope you're hungry." She said, placing the pizza on the coffee table.

"Thanks." He replied, taking a slice.

They both ate in silence for a few minutes before Sam spoke again. "You need to stop feeling guilty about the shooting."

He looked over at her, caught off-guard by her statement. "Excuse me?"

She finished her slice and wiped her hands on a napkin. "I said, that you need to stop feeling guilty. It isn't going to help this situation and it's not what Martin would want."

Rather than admitting it, he decided to play innocent. "What makes you think I feel guilty about anything?"

She sighed. "How about the fact that you've only visited him once and that was for ten minutes at the most? Or how about the fact that your eyes give it away? Face it Taylor, I know you too well. You can't hide it from me."

He put his pizza down on a nearby napkin. "Ok, so maybe I do feel guilty about what happened. I have good reason to feel guilty though because the fact is that I…"

She chose that moment to interrupt him. "You what? Used Martin as a human shield? Shot him with your own gun? No, you didn't. You're just as much a victim in this as he is." She lowered her voice so that she wasn't yelling. "You're just luckier than he was and that's nothing to feel guilty about." Seeing that he wasn't going to say anything, she continued.

"You can turn yourself inside out thinking about what if's. Trust me, I'm the queen of what if's. What if he doesn't wake up? What if he doesn't want this child? What if the sky falls tomorrow and we're all dead? You can torture yourself with all sorts of what if's. But at the end of the day all that matters is what really happened and this is what really happened. You and Martin were ambushed; you were sitting ducks. It's a miracle that you both didn't die that night."

She really hoped that she was getting through to him. "Do you really think that Martin would want you to blame yourself for his condition? Cause I don't. If he could, he'd be here right now yelling at you too."

He sat there and took in all the words she was saying, hating the fact that she had a point. Finally, he just broke down, letting all of his guilt leave his body through his tears.

Sam watched him start to break down and gave him a hug. "Nobody blames you for anything Danny so you don't need to either."

After he was done crying, he pulled out of her embrace and gave her a small smile to show that he was better. "Thanks."

"No problem." She returned his small smile. "You've done the same for me. In times like these we have to stick together."

"Yeah, we do." He didn't say it, but he made a silent promise to look out for Sam and the baby until Martin woke up. It was the least he could do. With this new purpose he found drinking himself into oblivion less and less appealing.