Somewhere I Belong

Chapter Six

A/N: Thank you Lu78, wItHouT a tRacE fReAk, jtsideout389 and Jenn for your kind reviews! It helps to know that people are liking this story as much as I like writing it. Enjoy!

"We could move in together, raise the baby together, and try to work out our relationship problems." He then waited to watch her reaction to that. She seemed to be shocked, and for a moment he wondered if suggesting that they get back together was a bad idea.

She opened her mouth to say something but found that she was speechless. To tell the truth, she hadn't expected him to say anything like that. She honestly thought that he would be dead-set against any type of reconciliation and that she would have to convince him to give her a second chance. But his option number three seemed to prove her wrong. Maybe he wanted her back after all. After gaining control of her vocal cords again, she asked, "Are you serious about trying to work on our relationship?"

"Would I joke about something like that?" He countered, keeping his eyes fixated on her as she stood up and walked over to the window. She was keeping her back to him so he couldn't see her face. He had no idea what she was thinking, and that scared him a little.

She stared out the window, desperately trying to maintain any semblance of control over her emotions. So many thoughts and feelings were swirling around in her head that it was hard for her to focus on just one of them.

He hadn't expected her to be so quiet. Once again he wondered if he had made a mistake. "Are you going to stare out the window all night?" Maybe he shouldn't have listened to Hilary, after all, she didn't know Sam and she knew nothing about their past relationship.

Sam thought about turning around to face him but knew that if she did, she would completely fall apart and she needed to be able to get this out while she still had the courage to do it. So she kept her back to him and stared absent-mindedly out the window. "I'm not sure I deserve your forgiveness or another chance."

Her statement caught him off-guard. "Why not?"

"I think we both know why not. Martin. As much as it hurt me at the time, I realize that you were right to break up with me. I was horrible to you. I pushed you away, I didn't let you in, and I was terribly selfish." She could feel the tears start flowing from her eyes again and quietly sobbed. "I refused to let anyone we knew find out about our relationship when I really should've been shouting about it from the rooftops because I had this wonderfully amazing guy that treated me with nothing but respect and thoughtfulness. But I made the mistake of thinking that I was the only one that mattered in the relationship. I made the relationship all about me and what I wanted, never considering your feelings."

While he was glad that she was starting to see why the reasons why he broke up with her, it killed him to see her crying about it. He wanted to be able to take the pain away from her. Since he wasn't able to get out of bed and wrap his arms around her, words had to suffice. "It's ok."

"No it's not." She smiled. "But thanks anyway." It was just like him to be nice and say that the way she treated him was ok. "I've had a lot of time to think about what went wrong in our relationship and why it didn't work out. I realize that the blame falls on me. I wanted to control everything. I thought that if I kept you at arms length, if I didn't open up my heart and mind to you, then I wouldn't fall in love with you."

He had always known that she was scared of falling in love—with anyone. It was definitely a good sign that she was starting to realize it too. "Would that have really been so bad?" He asked.

"No," she shook her head, "but that's not what I thought then. Every guy in my life that I loved, or even thought I loved, has left me at some point. Back then I thought that I could control my feelings and not fall in love with you because then I wouldn't get hurt." She released a sniffle and dried the tears from her cheeks.

He didn't know if he should ask this, but did anyway. "And now?"

"Now, I realize I have no choice. I can't control who I love any more than I can stop the sun from rising and setting." She turned around and her eyes slowly drifted up from the floor to meet his. "And I love you Martin. I've loved you all along; I was just stupid enough to deny it to myself."

So she did love him! He had been waiting a long time to hear those words and was so happy to hear them that he wanted to jump out of his bed and start dancing. But of course he couldn't do that, so he focused on Sam again. Motioning to the chair that she had been sitting in before, he said, "Come and sit down."

She hesitated before moving to the chair, unsure of why he wanted her to sit.

Once she was sitting down, he took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips for a soft kiss. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that?"

She shook her head and a small smile formed. "I'm so sorry for everything that I put you through."

"It's forgiven." He smiled. "Do you think we can start again?" He asked, hoping that she would say yes.

"I want to, but what about you?" She sighed. "Are you sure that you want to get into a relationship with me again?"

"I'm sure because I love you Samantha. Always have and always will." With that, he gave her one of his special smiles.

She smiled back at him after hearing that he loved her and stared at his smile. That was the smile that she had been waiting so long to see again. It was that special smile that he saved for only her. It was the type of smile that always warmed her heart and could cheer her up whenever she was feeling bad. How could she have been so stupid to push him away and not embrace her feelings for him? Why did it take her so long to realize that loving him wasn't a horrible idea? Would things have been different if they hadn't broken up?

She squeezed his hand. "So are we…?"

He squeezed her hand back. "Yeah, I think we are."

Her heart felt like it would explode. At that moment she had never been happier. All of her dreams were coming true. She had Martin and their child. She had a family. Who would have guessed that she would be so happy at the thought of being a part of a real family?

"I think that we should take things relatively slowly though—see where this takes us."

"Ok. I understand." She wanted so badly to reach over and kiss him, but wasn't sure if it was too soon to do that. He had just finished saying that they were supposed to be taking their new relationship slow, but just how slow where they going to go?

He seemed to realize her hesitation because he soon said, "So what does a guy have to do around here to get a kiss? I woke up from a coma. Isn't that enough?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes before leaning in and giving him a slow, passionate kiss. After a few minutes of kissing, she finally pulled back to get some air. As she looked at the clock, she started to groan because she had to work the next day. "I don't want to, but I really should go. It's getting late and I have to work tomorrow."

"It is getting late." He agreed, looking at the clock. While he understood that she needed to leave, he was selfish and didn't want her to go. Without thinking, he asked, "why don't you stay here tonight?"

She laughed. "Because this chair is not comfortable. I'll wake up with kinks in my neck and a bad back ache."

"I could scoot over some and you could sleep up here with me." He patted one side of the bed.

She couldn't believe what he was offering. He wanted her to sleep with him in his hospital bed? Just the thought of being able to sleep next to him was enough to send her heart racing. "Well, I don't want to crowd you."

"You wouldn't." He looked at the bed, examining it. "I think the bed is big enough."

"Are you sure about this?" She really didn't want to move too quickly and didn't want to hurt him. A kiss was one thing, but staying here with him was an entirely different thing.

"I'm sure." He could tell that she was hesitating and wondered if this was a bad idea considering that they had just agreed to take things slowly. He hadn't planned asking her to stay and hadn't thought this through. He just sort of blurted it out. But it felt right. He had missed having her sleep next to him and being able to wrap his arms around her.

She bit her lip and thought about it for a moment. "Ok, but only as long as I'm not hurting you."

"You won't." Martin assured her as he scooted over and made room for her. Watching as she carefully climbed onto the bed, he put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him so that her head was resting on his right shoulder.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" She asked, surprised that he had put his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"Nope." He shifted to the side to give her a little more room. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah." It felt really good to be in his arms again. She had almost forgotten just how euphoric his embrace was. Being in his arms again made her feel like she was floating in heaven.

"Please don't be mad at me, but I have to confess something."

That didn't sound good. "What do you have to confess?"

"I, well, earlier I was sort of testing you." Martin explained. "I was testing you with that list of options. I used you reactions to gauge whether or not you truly cared about me or not."

She was confused, and only slightly angry. "You were just testing me?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Believe me, I didn't want joint custody or moving in together just as friends either. I was just seeing what your reaction to that was so that I would be able to tell how receptive you'd be to getting back together."

"But why did you have to test me?" This still made no sense to her. She had been visiting him everyday since the shooting and was certain that the nurses had told him about that. After all, the nurses had already taken it upon themselves to tell him about her pregnancy. So she naturally assumed that they had told him about how many times she visited him. Why was it so hard for him to believe that she cared about him?

"I don't know." He sighed. "I just didn't want to get my hopes up."

That explanation made sense to her. She was the queen of not wanting to get her hopes up. She sighed, letting any residual anger she felt about being tricked go as she exhaled. "Well I guess I can't really be mad at you for that."

"You can't?" He couldn't believe that she wasn't angry with him. Maybe she really had changed.

"No. Just please don't trick me like that again?" She asked.

"Ok, I won't." He was glad that they weren't going to fight about it, and surprised that she wasn't angry with him. But he wasn't going to complain about it.

"Martin?"

"Yeah Sam?" He asked, stifling a yawn.

She grabbed a hold of his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "I missed you a lot, even before the shooting."

"I missed you too." He replied, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. "But now we don't have to miss each other anymore because I don't plan on ever letting you go again."

She smiled at his comment. "That's certainly good to hear." After a couple moments of silence, she said, "I love you."

His hand moved to rest on her stomach. "I love you too." He had missed having her in his arms and was suddenly really glad for his earlier sudden outburst of inviting her to stay. Tightening his hold of her, the only thoughts on his brain were of how much he loved her and how excited he was about the future. "Goodnight Samantha."

"Goodnight Martin."

Soon after, he could hear her breathing become even and knew that she had fallen asleep. After kissing the top of her head, he let himself fall asleep. Maybe having everything change wasn't going to be such a bad thing after all.