Somewhere I Belong
Chapter Eight
A/N: Thanks to Lu78 and jtsideout389 for your reviews! Enjoy!
Two hours later, Samantha, Martin and Danny were still huddled around the coffee table. Martin and Samantha were sitting together on the couch while Danny was sitting Indian-style on the floor. The pizza had been gone for a while and so they had just been talking. Actually, Danny had been telling them bad jokes.
"So they the first guy said, 'does this come in a larger size?'" Danny started laughing at his own bad joke, obvious to the fact that neither Samantha nor Martin was laughing with him.
Martin watched his friend laugh and leaned over to Samantha. "I thought you said we'd cast him into the cold night."
She smiled and gave him a wink. "I did, but we can't be rude."
"Of course not." Martin sighed. He had tried to be patient all night, but he had his limits. Danny and Samantha had been talking about things that had happened while he was in the coma, or referencing jokes and cases that he hadn't been a part of all night. While he knew it was childish to feel so left out, he couldn't help it. He also couldn't help feeling slightly jealous that Danny had been able to spend so much time with his girlfriend. He knew they were just friends and that he didn't have to worry about any kind of competition, but it still rattled him to know that Danny had been able to be there for Samantha at a time when he couldn't.
Samantha noted the impatient look on Martin's face and decided that it was time for Danny to leave. So before Danny had time to start another bad joke, she interrupted. "Well Danny, it's getting late. Martin needs to get his rest. Maybe it's time to break this party up."
"Oh, yeah. Sure." Danny stood up and stretched out for a moment before heading to the door. "It's good to see you getting back to normal Martin."
"It's good to get back to normal." Martin smiled.
"I'll see you both later. Goodnight." And with those few words, Danny left them alone.
As soon as Danny shut the door behind him, Martin wrapped his arms around Samantha's waist and pulled her as close as he could. "So what are we going to do now that Danny's gone?"
She looked at the clock. It was getting late. "I wasn't really kidding about you needing your rest. You're still recovering."
He frowned. The last thing he wanted to do was go to sleep and be confronted with nightmares. He would much rather stay here with Sam. They could talk or find other activities to occupy their time. "I'm fine though. I'm not tired at all."
She looked at him strangely. "Martin, you've got to take care of yourself…"
"I am." He replied gruffly, releasing the grasp he had on her waist and standing up. "I just don't want to sleep right now! I've waited all evening to have some alone time with you. Now that we're alone you just want me to sleep?"
Samantha stood up to face him, trying to understand his point of view. "I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want you to over-do it. You're still healing from everything."
He could see that his little outburst had upset her so he wrapped his arms around her again. He did appreciate the fact that she was trying to take care of him, but it wasn't necessary. "I'm sorry." Leaning in, he gave her a kiss. "But I'm fine. The doctor says that I am almost completely healed. So can't we just stay up for a while and talk or something?"
She looked at him and realized that he was definitely avoiding going to sleep. The only question left in her mind was why? What was he so afraid of? She didn't want to fight with him so she agreed. "Ok."
"Great." He smiled, leading her back to the couch so that they could cuddle together. Once they got settled and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, he started the conversation. "Earlier, while I was waiting to be released, I started thinking about baby names."
She smiled, glad to hear that he was getting used to the idea of having a baby. If he was already thinking of names, that was a good sign. "Ok. What were you thinking?"
He placed his hand on her stomach, letting it rest there. "I'm not the type of person who wants to name their child after themselves, so Martin is out."
"Ok." She nodded. "So I guess that means no Martin Jr."
"How about Jonathon?" He asked.
She thought about it for a moment and then shook her head.
"Ok. Brian?"
After thinking about that name for a moment, she shook her head again. "No."
"Ok." He wasn't sure why she didn't like any of the names he was suggesting, but was determined to find the right name. "Steven?"
"Well, that's better than the other two names. But I still don't really like it." She told him. "It doesn't exactly fit well with the middle name I have in mind."
Well at least he finally knew why she was rejecting perfectly good names. "Ok I'll bite. What middle name are you thinking about?"
She gave him a small smile. "Well, I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and I think that we should make the middle name Daniel. You know, because of Danny. It could be sort of a thank you for everything that he's done to help."
He wasn't sure why, but that bothered him. Sure, Danny was his best friend, but he couldn't push away the thoughts of jealousy and resentment he harbored against him. Deep down, he knew that he shouldn't feel any jealousy or resentment towards Danny. Danny was just trying to be a good friend to him and Samantha. It's not like Danny was trying to take over his life and move in on his territory. But the fact remained that Danny had been there from the beginning with this pregnancy, whereas Martin was coming into the game late. It was like arriving at the movie theater late and catching the last half of a movie.
Sam noticed that Martin was being quiet about his opinion of making their child's middle name Daniel. "What's the matter? You don't like it?" She thought he would be fine with it since Danny was his best friend too.
He paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to say it without sounding like a jealous boyfriend. "It's not that I don't like it, but why can't we just make Danny this child's godfather?"
"Why can't we do both?" She asked, curious about why he was having a problem with this.
"I don't know. I'm fine with having Danny be the godfather. I guess I just don't understand why we need to name our son after Danny too."
"It would only be a middle name." She reasoned.
"But why?" He asked, still not understanding. "I still don't understand."
She sighed, trying to figure out a way to explain it to him. "These past three months haven't been too great and they haven't been particularly happy for me either. It's been really hard trying to adjust to this pregnancy. It was hard to get used to the fact that I am carrying a child that is completely dependent on me. Every choice of what I eat or drink affects him. The air I breathe, the noises around me, my stress level, it all affects him."
"Stress level? Have you had problems?" He asked, growing concerned.
It was something that she had originally wanted to keep from him, but she realized that complete honesty was necessary if they were to have a solid relationship. "I almost miscarried about two months ago."
"What?" He was shocked and moved to sit up. "What happened?"
She turned to face him. "I was trying to push myself too hard. I wasn't getting enough sleep, I wasn't eating right, and I was too stressed out." She didn't want to tell him that the reason she was stressed and not taking proper care of herself was because she was too busy spending time at his bedside. That would have only made him feel guilty and she didn't want that.
She didn't have to say it, but he knew that she was stressed and not taking care of herself because of him. He didn't like thinking that he was the reason why she almost miscarried, but it was the truth. If he hadn't been in the coma, he would have been by her side. He would have been making sure she got her rest and ate healthy foods. "So what exactly happened?"
She sat up and pulled away from him, sitting on the end of the couch and clasping her hands together in her lap. "I started cramping and having some light bleeding. Luckily Danny was with me at the time. He got me to the hospital in time." She paused and released a heavy sigh. "After a very long discussion with my doctor about the importance of rest, a healthy diet and lower levels of stress, I was released from the hospital. From then on, Danny made sure that I was taking care of myself. There were many nights when he'd bring me dinner or we'd grab something after work. But most of the time he would just say or do something completely stupid and outrageous to get me to laugh. He kept me sane," she hesitated before continuing, "and probably saved our son's life."
He sat there absorbing this new information. He couldn't imagine how scary it must have been for Sam to go through something like that, and he was glad that Danny was there for her. Yet he still felt that jealousy and resentment come back to the surface. Danny shouldn't have been the one at Sam's side. It should have been him. He should have been there for his child and for Sam. As the moments went by, he slowly realized that his coma almost cost him his son's life. Sam was right. If Danny hadn't been such a good friend they might not be having this child.
"I'll understand if still don't want the middle name to be Danny." Sam lied. She wouldn't really understand how he could refuse after what she had confessed to him, but she wouldn't fight him on it. Fighting with him was the last thing that she ever wanted to do.
He cracked a small smile. "No you won't." He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't truly understand. "But you don't have to worry. I think Daniel is a great middle name."
She started to smile. "Really?"
"Really." He replied, pulling closer to him again and giving her a kiss. "I'm just so sorry that you've had to go through all of this. I wish I could have been there."
"So do I." She nodded. As much as she appreciated Danny being at her side, she prayed every night that Martin would wake up and take over. "But you're here now, and that's all that matters to me."
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"I know." She smiled, giving him another kiss. "And I love you too."
After a few minutes of kissing and making out, he pulled away to have a chance to catch his breath. "Sam, I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful or anything, but why were you paying my rent?"
She groaned, not really wanting to talk about this. They had already done enough arguing for one night. She wasn't sure she could stand another argument with him right now. "Danny wasn't supposed to tell you that."
"Well he did, and I'm glad he did. I want to pay you back for that. I'll write you a check in the morning."
"No you won't." Samantha flatly refused his offer. "I'm not taking your money."
"Why not?" He asked. "You didn't have to pay my rent for me, but you did. The least you can do is let me repay you for it."
"I didn't do it so that you could pay me back." She sighed. "I did it because I wanted to make sure that when you woke up you still had some sense of normalcy. I don't know what it's like to wake up and find out that so much time has gone on without you, but it's got to be difficult." She was holding on to his hand and started rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand as she talked. "People have changed, things have changed, and nothing is exactly the same anymore. I wanted you to at least have your apartment be the same. I thought it would help you."
Once again he couldn't believe that Sam was being that considerate towards him. She was right when she said that people change. She obviously had. "It does help." He smiled, giving her a soft kiss. "Thank you. Though I still think I should pay you back."
She grinned and let out a mischievous laugh. "Well I won't accept money, but we're both fairly intelligent adults. I think perhaps we could work out a mutually beneficial repayment plan."
He knew where she was going with this train of thought. "Sort of like bartering?"
"Exactly." She nodded. "I paid your rent so in return, you could cook me dinner a few times, give a few massages—you know, that type of thing."
"I'm not sure that should count as repayment." He informed her. "I was already planning on spoiling and pampering you through-out the rest of your pregnancy."
She looked at him incredulously. "Oh you were?"
"Yes." He nodded. "I'd do anything for you. All you have to do is ask."
Her eyes lit up at the sound of that. "Anything?"
"Anything." He repeated.
A grin appeared on her face. "Would you put on a pink tutu and dance around the apartment for my personal enjoyment?"
He chuckled and shook his head. "No. I guess I'm going to have to amend my earlier statement and say anything within reason."
"Damn, and I wanted to see you in that pink tutu." She sighed. "Well how about this instead? Can I stay here with you tonight?"
He kissed the top of her head. "I was already counting on that."
She smiled and leaned in for another kiss, but was interrupted when she started to yawn. "Sorry. Guess I'm just a little tired."
As much as he disliked the idea of going to bed and trying to sleep without having another nightmare, he knew that it was probably time for them to go to bed. Sam was tired and she needed her rest. "Maybe we should call it a night then."
She looked at him suspiciously. "You sure you want to? If I recall, earlier you seemed almost afraid to go to sleep. Now you want to go bed?"
"Yes I'm sure." He assured her.
"Ok." She relented. "Then let's go."
He took a hold of her hand and led her back into his bedroom. It was going to be nice to have her sleeping in his arms again. He just hoped that she was enough to drive away his nightmares. She had already done it once. Maybe she could do it again.