Disclaimer: I don't own Last Samurai or a circus tent. I don't like the circus, the clowns scare me shudder and it always stinks, literally.
An Intelesting Ploposition
At a misty back alley.
Adoor swings open as a shrubby looking man and all his belonging is thrown out to the alley way. After his perilous performance, Nathan Algren understood why his employer kicked him out of commercialising war trophies, but secretly knew that they were the ones who will suffer the loss. Definitely. With no doubt. Most certainly ...Then again, he was not in the right mind to be certain of anything...
Algren: (grumbles as he manages to pick himself up) Yeah well…welll you're tents suck! I bet the circus has better tents than you! (tries to reach the door, which slams into his face) Ow...(rubs nose )And…and the clowns are funnier!
As he offensively shakes his fist at the closed door, his body still swaying from the whisky, he makes an unsteady step to the back, only to topple over Sergent Zebulon Gant, who happened to be lying at the doorstep.
Algren: OW! Whoa…Hello Sergent Gant…Err what are you doing down there?
Gant: You fell on me.
Algren: No, I mean why were you sleeping on the doorstep?
Gant: Must've knocked off while I was wait'n', sir.
Algren: (gasp) you were out waiting in this cold miserable dump, lying around like a hobo, just for me? (teary )wow…I haven't been cared about this much since…since…whatever.
Gant: Err, actually sir…I was wait'n' for this very sassy lookin' lady called Pixy or somethin'. She told me she'll meet me but…shrugs I must've been wait'n' at the wrong spot. By the way, Cap'n' what are you doin' here?
Algren: oh…(sigh) joining the circus…(picks up one of the whiskey flasks on the ground and takes a sip)
Gant: Ah sir…Can you get off me now?
In an oriental looking restaurant.
Sergent Gant walks towards a table occupied by Colonel Bagley, Omura and Omura's evil looking body-guard. A staggering Algren follows him.
Bagley: Oh lord, why is HE here?
Algren: (sees the table) Hey…more booze!
Algren plops himself to an empty chair and indulges himself with more brain-cell killing liquids. An amused Sergent Grant sits beside him and there are few words of introduction by the annoyed Colonel.
Omura: We have a verly intelesting ploposition for you two. The empeloor will leeward you well, if you tlain our men into solliders.
Gant: Meaning?
Algren: Heh… you talk funny…
Omura: (glares at Algren) We say, apploxmately…500 per month.
Gant: (gives a whistle)
Algren: Empeloor…hee hee…
Omura's evil sidekick: (in Japanese) Are they all idiots?
Omura: (replies in Japanese) Basically. That's what you get when you do business with men with big noses…
They both glance at Algren who is wobbling a chopstick up and down.
Algren: Hey! It looks like it's made from rubber!
Omura: (in Japanese) …maybe this guys just a nutcase.
Algren: (suddenly stands up) Excuse me; (imitates Japanese accent) I have a berily important business with the nearlest bathlooom…heh heh heh…
The drunk tries to march out but nearly falls into a passing waiter. He eventually sways to a direction which he assumed led to the toilets. A few minutes later, ColonelBagley catches up to him when he is having a conversation with a withering pot plant.
Algren: (nodding to the pot plant) Yes… I feel your pain…Oh but I do!
Bagley: (rises eyebrow) You're just doin' that coz you want to annoy me, right?
Algren: (notices Bagley at last) Well, helloo there sirrr...Have you met this here...um (whispers to plant )What's your name again? (giggles) Oh don't be shy, I know he looks like a chook with a sore bum, but he isn't. He's just a chicken as well as a pain in the arse.
Bagley: (angrily gets him by the throat) Look you stupid drunk, nobody asked you to be here. But with my graceful generosity I'm gonna make you worth some while. You can either: go away now and die miserable and alone in the dumps, or go to Japan, teach the midgets how to hold a gun and get yourself killed by rampaging rebels.
Algren: (gasping )Wherrrrre?
Bagley: (rolls his eyes) Japan! You know small Asian islands full of little men who bow a lot…
Algren: They got booze?
Bagley: ...Let megive you a deal. If you work for me,you can have double ofthetenth of what Omura's offering you plus a tenth of that worth of Sake.
Algren: sake?
Bagley:the only word you'll ever need to know in Japanese. It's like whiskey but made from rice. In Japan, it's the best damn drink to get drunk with
Algren: Sake...(smiles dreamily)
Bagley: so you're in?
Algren: Saaake...wait...where in America is it?
Bagley: (groans)
Authors Note: So sorly if you couldn't read the Japanese accent. Poor Algren, so far he's always drunk lol