When You Least Expect It Chapter Six
After the night Ryan had the nightmare and got sick in bed, he abruptly stopped pushing to go home. Sandy and Kirsten were taken aback at first; Marissa had quietly sat Sandy down and explained what happened and how she thought Ryan might be worried about being a burden to go home. However, even Ryan's seeming reluctance couldn't stop time from healing the most severe of his injuries and soon enough, the effects of the surgery had faded enough for Ryan to be allowed to go home without needing regular care.
"Hey!" Marissa cheerily popped into his room early one Saturday morning the afternoon of his release. "You ready to bust out of here?"
Ryan looked up from his position on the side of the bed and smiled, genuinely if somewhat distantly. It had been like this for awhile now; he seemed caught between wanting her there and aggravated that she had to see him be more or less helpless. It stung her a little to feel the wall between them, but she brushed it off. He had to deal with this in the best way he could; all she could dowas keep trying. "Hey," he responded. "I was just about to change into my regular clothes, finally."
"Oooh," Marissa said playfully, coming more fully into the room and closing the door behind her. "Sounds like I came just in time."
"Hey, I like the sound of that," Ryan grinned, holding out a hand for her and bringing her into the circle of his arms. "Feels good to hold you like this again," he murmured, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "With me at least sitting up straight and all."
Feels good to be held like you want to hold me, Marissa wanted to say, but she didn't want to make him feel guiltier than he already did. "What's this about clothes?" she said teasingly, noticing the neat pile of clothes next to him on the bed. "Awww, the wife beater," she laughed affectionately, picking it up. "I bet you missed this."
"Not as much as I missed it on you," Ryan tossed back, smiling suggestively. "But seriously, I can get this."
"Oh, come on," Marissa laughed. "Where's the fun…" he voice trailed off and her smile faded as she remembered that had been the catch phrase the night everything had been torn apart. "Come on," she said quietly. "I'll help you get this on."
"I can put on some clothes-" Ryan started.
"Can you just let me help you with this?" Marissa burst out in frustration.
Ryan almost jumped, then felt a pang of guilt. He'd been so focused on not wanting anyone to wait on him or pity him, he hadn't realized he might be hurting her feelings in the process. "At least I'm wearing underwear," he teased softly, hoping to lighten the mood a little and pleased when he got a small smile out of her.
"Not like I haven't seen you without it," she shot back, reaching to untie the medical gown and pull it gently over his head. He gingerly lifted his arms, wincing a little at his still sore ribs.
Marissa sucked in her breath at the healing but still visible mass of bruises and scars that marred his chest. She had come so incredibly close to losing him, it hit her in that moment. She was so lucky he was alive at all. She couldn't meet his eyes as she carefully helped him put the wifebeater on and smoothed it gently over his chest.
"Marissa," Ryan said simply, reaching out to cup her chin in his head. "It's okay."
Marissa looked up at him as tears filled her eyes, then slowly leaned in so her head was resting gently against his chest. He sighed and placed his hands over her hair and they simply stood together like that for a long moment.
"This is so stupid," she mumbled. "We're getting into petty little bitch fights about your tank tops and I feel like we should be grateful for every second."
"I know I should," Ryan said ruefully. "And I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with…"
"No, I didn't mean it like that," she sighed, lifting her hand and taking one of his hands between both of hers. "I can't even begin to understand how hard this is for you; no one can blame you for being frustrated. I just…on my end, all I want to do is enjoy every minute, whether you're happy or upset or pissed off just because you're HERE."
No one had ever said anything like that to him before. No one had made it clear in so many words that he was worth all that. A little overwhelmed, Ryan kissed her forehead, then her lips. "I love you," he murmured against her mouth. "I don't…I don't say it often enough, but I don't want it to get lost at any point throughout all of this. I really, really love you."
"I love you, too," Marissa said, in a voice so soft it was barely above a whisper. She returned his soft, sweet kiss and then pulled away enough to grab his shorts. "Now comes the fun part," she said, a hint of mischief entering her voice. Ryan laughed and that set the mood for the half-humorous, half-sexual dressing. Ryan groaned as she, after carefully pulling the shorts on and easing him to a standing position holding onto her for support so she could finish the job, playfully lifted up his beater and kissed his lower abdomen, right above the line of his boxers.
"You're not playing fair," he weakly protested. "You gotta give me at least a little recovery time before teasing me like that."
"Oh, don't worry," Marissa grinned, standing up straight and helping him back onto the bed. "I'm sure we'll figure something out to…ease your frustration."
"Mmmm, looking forward to it," Ryan said huskily, placing his hands on her waist as she bent her head to capture his mouth in hers. It was probably the first full, real kiss they'd had in weeks and Ryan sought the taste of her mouth like a man dying of thirst in the desert.
Naturally, they got interrupted.
"Hey- whoa there!" Seth protested awkwardly as he came into the room. "You'll be home soon enough, give it a rest until then."
Ryan groaned and leaned his head against Marissa. "Seth, have I ever told you how much I hate your timing?"
"Yeah well, you might like it more when I tell you I came in before Mom and Dad," Seth shot back, moving to close the door. "I think you probably prefer me walking in on that."
"I miss these," Ryan sighed into her chest, so low only Marissa could hear it. She burst out laughing and Seth turned around warily.
"What?" he said defensively. Marissa just shrugged innocently and was spared from further questioning by Sandy and Kirsten coming in.
"Hey!" Sandy said in surprise. "Looks like you're about ready to blow this popsicle stand."
"Just about," Ryan smiled back, absently stroking Marissa's hair as she knelt down to put a boot on his good leg. He groaned as he saw the wheelchair coming. "Do I have to?" he complained. "I can use the crutches."
"Hospital procedure," the nurse smiled.
"Ryan?" Kirsten asked curiously as he got seated in the chair. "I forgot about asking you this with everything that's happened, but the kitchen…"
Ryan's eyes flew up to meet Marissa, who suddenly became very interested in her purse strap.
"How did all of those things get broken?"
"No seriously, man," Seth protested. "How did everything get broken?" It was a few hours later and their usual group of four had gathered in the pool house for a kind of 'reunion' as Summer called it. Kirsten and Sandy had fussed for awhile making sure everything was set up properly, then eventually left them to their own devices.
"Leave it alone, Seth," Ryan groaned. He was sprawled out on the bed with Marissa fitted snugly against him, his arm around her waist. Seth and Summer were sharing his arm chair.
"Cause I mean, all that stuff was on the table…" Seth continued as if he hadn't spoken. "So the logical answer would be…" he looked at both of them suggestively. Ryan just shook his head.
"You are in SO much trouble for not telling me about this, Coop," Summer scolded. "We will discuss this later!"
Marissa rolled her eyes. "You know what, I've decided a good task for you two is to go get some dinner."
"Yes, that's a great task," Ryan spoke up with overly sincere enthusiasm. If it stopped him from getting further harassed about his sex life and gave him the alone time that had got interrupted before with Marissa, he was all for it.
"I see how it is," Seth grumped, giving Summer a gentle shove and climbing up after her. "Come home and suddenly not so grateful to see us anymore."
Ryan laughed. "Seriously, man. Chinese would be great. The only decent food I've had in weeks is what you and Marissa were able to sneak in."
Seth mock saluted him. "Done. And we're order there, just you two have a little more time to get crazy," he taunted.
"Throw something at him," Ryan ordered Marissa, but Seth was too quick for them; he'd pulled Summer out of the pool house.
"Alone at last," Marissa giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Finally," Ryan sighed, pulling her closer and bringing her mouth to his, her tongue to his. They kissed intensely for several long minutes, Ryan's hands greedily roaming over every inch of her he hadn't freely had access to since the accident. "I so missed this," he murmured against her mouth. "I wish we could do more."
"Like I said, we'll figure something out," Marissa teased lightly. "I think we can work around your cast as soon as your ribs aren't too sore."
Ryan sucked in his breath as she tauntingly ran her fingers along his abdomen. "They're not that sore," he whined.
Marissa laughed. "Sure they aren't. I'm not re-injuring you so you can get some."
"Right now, I feel like it would be worth it," Ryan said earnestly. Marissa started giggling again and returned her mouth to his.
"You know…" she breathed against his lips. "It has been a very long time since you had any kind of…release."
"A very long time," Ryan readily agreed.
"I could probably…do a little something," Marissa murmured, her hands going to deftly unfasten his shorts. Ryan raised his brows- and almost passed out when she slid further down his body, once again lifting his shirt and kissing his abdomen, this time flicking her tongue against his belly button. As he realized what she was about to do, a slow grin spread over his face.
"I gotta say, I'm impressed with your creative problem solving skills," he said huskily. It was the last thing he was capable of saying for awhile.
"Everybody's dressed," Seth said in surprise as he entered the pool house with bags of Chinese food.
Ryan raised his brows. "Seth, please tell me that's not disappointment in your voice that my girlfriend's dressed," he teased. He was sitting on the bed while Marissa wandered out of the bathroom after putting the toothbrush away. Seth glared at him and he laughed, glad to have the upper hand for a change.
"Where's Summer?" Marissa inquired, flopping back down on the bed next to Ryan.
"Talking to my mom for a minute," Seth replied, putting the bags on the bed and climbing on himself. "I think we ordered the whole menu, so dig in."
"This looks great," Ryan said appreciatively as he and Marissa searched through the bags. "Thanks, man. Real food."
"Is greasy Chinese really considered real?" Seth asked skeptically.
"It is to me," Ryan laughed, opening up a package of Marissa's favorite sesame chicken and offering her a bite. She smiled at him and he gently rubbed his thumb across her cheek. Summer wandered in then and they all sprawled out over the bed to eat.
It was the best evening Marissa had had since the accident. She talked and laughed with her friends as they ate, Ryan's hand rhythmically rubbing her back every once in awhile and they'd look at each other with the secret smile they'd shared whenever they'd done anything…private before joining a group of people. For once, she felt like the same old Marissa with the same old boyfriend and the same old friends.
One of these days, she was going to have to learn not to get too comfortable with anything.
45 minutes into the dinner, Marissa realized Ryan's hand had dropped away from her back awhile ago and he'd gotten awfully quiet. Frowning, she turned to look at him. He had the same expression on his face she'd seen all too often in the hospital when an intense headache hit him all of the sudden.
Summer lowered her chopsicks. "Ryan?" she said hesitantly, looking worried.
"He has a headache," Marissa said quietly. "Seth, his pills are on the counter; could you grab them?" Seth silently nodded and quickly moved up off the bed and grabbed the pills, tossing them at her as he came back. She deftly shook a couple out in her hands and pressed them in his palm, reaching across him for his glass of water. "Here you go," she said softly. He took them without looking at her and swallowed them quickly, knocking them back with a glass of water. She went to stroke his hair and tried not to flinch when he brushed her off. They were right back where they started.
"Let's get the food back to the kitchen," She simply suggested to Seth and Summer, who both looked somewhat stricken. "Are you going to be okay? I'll be back in a minute," she gently addressed Ryan. He nodded still without looking at her and internally throwing her hands up, she went back to the main house with her two friends.
"Is he like that a lot?" Seth questioned her in the kitchen, somewhat taken aback by Ryan's behavior. He'd never seen Ryan direct that kind of attitude towards Marissa before. "I could tell he was a little pissed off and kind of standoffish at the hospital, but nothing like that."
Marissa shrugged, pained to hear that he seemed to react better to everyone than to her. "Well, you're not as overbearing as me," she tried to laugh. It came out closer to tears.
"Hey," Seth said soothingly, rubbing her shoulder. "I don't think it's that. You were the one who knew what to do when he got the headache because you've dealt with it before. Maybe you're just taking better care of him and that's why you're the…well, object of his aggression, basically. I bet he would have reacted even worse to me if I'd tried to do that."
Marissa gave him a grateful if tired smile. "Maybe. Well, I'm going to go annoy him some more," she sighed and squeezed the hand Summer reached out for her before she headed back for the pool house.
"Didn't know if you were coming back," Ryan said quietly when she re-entered the pool house, none of his earlier annoyance in his demeanor. Shame had crept into his mind along with the fog of medication.
"I said I would," Marissa said, an unfamiliar tone in her voice as she stood in the doorway. Ryan realized it was wariness and he winced.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled miserably. As soon as the words left his mouth, Marissa was back on the bed, cradling his head in her hands. "I don't know why I'm doing this. You might be the one who's been there for me the most throughout this and I feel like I'm treating you like shit."
"Ryan, I don't want you to worry about me," Marissa protested. "I'll be okay. I just don't want to make anything worse for you. If I'm crowding you or annoying you…"
"You're not, you're not," Ryan sighed, rubbing the hand that had fallen to his chest. "At least not for any logical reason. I know I make this hard to believe, but I miss you when you're not around. I just…I don't know." He shrugged helplessly.
"That's all I need to know," Marissa said simply. "If I'm not making it worse, that's all I need to know."
Ryan gave her a grateful smile. "Wanna stay the night? Not that I'll be very entertaining…"
It was the first time he'd actually asked her to stay since the night he got sick. Even though she knew it was likely more a concession than anything, it warmed her inside nonetheless.
"Nothing I'd like more," she smiled.