Rating: Yes, I know that I've updated the rating to M, but I've never been quite sure about the rating and I figured that it was better to be wrong than removed off fan-fiction. So, here it is.

Disclaimer: None of the characters mentioned in this story belong to me, but rather to J.K. Rowling, I promise to return them to her once I am done with them. The poem which this story features is taken from the novel, The Smoke Jumper by author Nicholas Evans.

Part Thirteen – Be Careful

"Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,

And spotting something reach by habit for my hand,

And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you."

---

June 1996

"If I had known that this would be my freedom," Sirius spat out, looking at the derelict house around him in what could only be described as extreme disgust. "I never would have left the confines of Azkaban."

"Wouldn't you?" Remus said, his amber eyes challenging from where he sat on the couch in front of the fireplace. "Would you really have stayed there for the rest of your life?"

Sirius sighed, turning to face the window. "Truthfully? I have no idea. I don't think that I would have been able to survive there much longer. But hell, I don't think that I'll be able to survive here much longer."

It had been hard at first, to shed twelve years of distrust and hurt, but in the end, the love that Remus had always felt for Sirius had won against the hate that he had nursed in all the time he had been alone. He had been able to forget that for twelve years of his life he had believed that the man he had loved had betrayed him and all of their friends. Sirius had helped him to forget and the hate had slowly faded into oblivion, replaced almost completely by love.

But it had not been easy. Nothing had been able to make Sirius forget completely. He still bore the scars, both physical and psychological, of being locked away for twelve years in the worst kind of prison man had ever invented. Remus had tried to help him, had attempted to kiss away all of the pain, but it had been difficult. The pain remained, if not in Sirius' appearance than in his eyes which would hold his pain and loss for the rest of his life.

Remus closed his eyes, and rested his head on the back of the couch. It had been a long day. He sighed when he felt the couch sink down beside him before smiling tiredly when he felt a hand run lightly through his greying hair.

"Rough day?" Sirius asked, his voice soft.

"Hmm," was Remus' only answer. And Sirius was silent, watching him as he ran his hand through his lover's hair.

"Remus?" Sirius asked quietly after some time.

"Yes?"

"I think that I would have gotten out at some point anyway. If not for Harry, then for you." Remus smiled and opened his eyes, looking up at Sirius who was avoiding contact with his amber eyes.

"I know," Remus said, finding Sirius' hand and squeezing it lightly. "I'm just happy to have you, either way." He let go of Sirius' hand only to mover closer to him and warm himself in his embrace. For some time the two of them remained like that, watching the fire in silence. "I thought that it was all a dream at first," Remus said after a time. "You just turning up at the door of the apartment, calm as anything."

"I was dying inside," Sirius replied quietly. So quietly that Remus could barely hear him. "It had been thirteen years since we had been alone together. Thirteen years. I didn't think that we'd ever be the same again."

"We're not really. We're more different than I would have originally thought possible."

"I suppose so." Sirius said, looking down at Remus sombrely. "I almost turned around, afraid that you would reject me. But I had my orders from Dumbledore."

"I wouldn't have." Remus said softly, not looking Sirius in the eyes. "Every moment that I have had you back in my life, I have feared that I was going to lose you." Sirius pulled Remus close to him, keeping him safe. "At first when you left I hoped so hard every night that you would come back to me or that I would wake in the morning and find that it had all been a horrible, horrible dream. And now I fear that I'll go to sleep at night with you by my side and wake in the morning to find that you're gone. That all of this was a dream. Worse by far compared to the one I wished to dream before."

Remus looked at Sirius for the first time since he had begun talking and was surprised to find that Sirius was still looking at him, the threat of tears glistening in his silver eyes. Sirius leaned down and kissed Remus lightly on the forehead and then the lips.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said against Remus' lips. "I pro—"

"No." Remus said, cutting him off by pulling away and placing his fingers over Sirius' mouth. "No promises." Sirius looked at him, confused for a moment before the understanding of what Remus was trying not to say hit him. Remus didn't want him to make another promise in case it, too, was broken like the one he had made all those years ago. I won't be gone long. The promise that had been made that day hung in the air before and around them, and Sirius knew instinctively that it would never leave. I won't be gone long…

"I'm so sorry, Remus." Sirius spoke quietly, looking at the other man softly and Remus knew that he meant it with all of his heart. He knew that if Sirius could have found his way home that day, he would have allowed nothing to stop him. " I was going to come back. I wanted to come back so much, all of those years. The thought of you kept me company through every cold night that I lay in that stone room. I—"

Sirius broke off, looking away from Remus. They had never really talked about the twelve years that they had spent apart; choosing instead to leave them in the past and make the years that remained to them, however long or short, count. Remus leant up and kissed Sirius softly, attempting yet again to kiss away the pain of the past. The kiss quickly turned into something more desperate and passionate and Remus broke away, struggling for breath.

"I should go upstairs soon." Remus stated some time later, still not attempting to move from where he was curled up against Sirius. "I have another long and busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?" Sirius pulled Remus closer to himself, his eyes fixing on the flames in the fireplace.

"In a moment. I just want to stay here for a little bit longer." Remus nodded and settled against Sirius' chest, listening to his heart beat and comforted by the knowledge that it was still beating. "Remus?" Sirius said after a time, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" Sirius looked down at the man curled up beside him and smiled. Remus was falling asleep. He supposed that he shouldn't really be surprised, after all, they were not as young as they had once been. A lot of things had changed since the times when they would stay up until early into the morning partying and simply revelling in their young love. For starters, they no longer believed that they were immortal. The deaths of their friends had taught them that.

"You'll be careful, won't you?" Sirius asked, speaking so softly that Remus had to strain to hear him over the beating of the heart beneath his cheek. "You're all that I have left. You and Harry. I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost you." Without looking up at his lover, Remus knew that Sirius' gaze had returned once again to the fire in front of him and that, no matter how much the tears threatened to spill, his strength of will was still strong enough to prevent him from breaking down entirely.

"I'll be as careful as I can be," Remus responded quietly. "I'm more worried about you."

"Me?' Sirius responded, his voice incredulous. "How on earth am I meant to get into trouble! Locked away in this corner of hell as I am!" His voice had been rising and they heard Kreacher drop something downstairs. Sirius grimaced at the reminder that they were not the only living beings in the house and when he spoke again his voice had softened significantly. "I never wanted to come back here. When I left all those years ago I never planned on coming back. And now look at me, trapped like I was at the age of sixteen."

Remus looked up into Sirius' eyes, noting once again the loss that would never leave them. "You have me." He said quietly. Sirius turned to face him, a sad smile gracing him lips.

"I know." Sirius said, leaning down and kissing him softly. "I'm sorry. Let's go up to bed. We both seem to be getting quite sentimental in our old age."

Slowly the two of them stood up from the couch, stretching muscles tired from being in the one position for too long.

"And if it makes you feel any better," Sirius began as they left the room. "I'll try my best to be careful."

"I know, thank you." Remus said his voice quiet and passionate in his belief of the other man. He smiled and leaned over to kiss Sirius again, not quite as gently as before. "I love you."

Sirius looked back at him, silver eyes meeting amber, reading the message that Remus would not put into words in his eyes: Don't leave me. "I love you, too. And I won't."

Remus smiled, knowing as no one else would exactly what Sirius was telling him. As they left the warmth of the room he placed his arm around Sirius' waist, Sirius' arm going over his shoulders, and the two of them walked up the stairs to the bedroom which they shared.

Neither of them noticed Kreacher watching them with hatred sparkling in his eyes as they ascended the creaking stairs.

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Message from the Author: I honestly can't believe that there's only one more to go after this one. I hope that you all liked it. Thank you so much for the reviews, they really meant a hell of a lot. I plan to give you all more detailedand personal responses to your reviewsnext time. Thank you so much guys... This is nearly it...